Something To Ponder.....

I recieved this today and boy-its the truth...

April is Autism Awareness month. Instead of discussing the "deficits"
challenging people on the autism spectrum, here are a few advantageous traits! For every
down side to autism, there seems to be a positive -- an unusual trait that rarely
appears among the "typical" community, but shines out among autistic folk. These plusses
are well worth celebrating.

1. People on the Autism Spectrum rarely lie.
We all claim to value the truth, but almost all of us tell little white lies. All, that is, except people on the autism spectrum. To them, truth is truth -- and a good word from a person on the spectrum is the real deal.

2. People on the Autism Spectrum live in the moment.
People w/ASD truly attend to the sensory input that surrounds them.
Many have achieved the ideal of mindfulness.

3. People with Autism rarely judge others.
Who's richer? Smarter? For people w/ASD, these distinctions hold less
importance than for typical folks. In fact, people on the spectrum often see through
such surface appearances to discover the real person.

4. People on the Autism Spectrum have fewer hidden agendas.
Most of the time, if a person w/ASD tells you what he wants -- he is
telling you what he wants. No need to beat around the bush, second guess, and hope you're
reading between the lines!

5. People with Autism are not tied to social expectations.
If you've ever bought a car, played a game or joined a club to fit in,
you know how hard it is to be true to yourself. But for people with autism, social
expectations can be honestly irrelevant. What matters is true liking, interest and passion.

6. People with Autism have terrific memories.
How often do typical people forget directions, or fail to take note of
other details? People on the autism spectrum are often much more tuned in to details. They may have a much better memory than their typical peers for all kind of critical
details.

7. People with Autism are less materialistic.
Of course, this is not universally true -- but in general, people with
autism are far less concerned with outward appearance than their typical peers.

8. People with Autism play fewer head games.
Most autistic people don't play "mind" games -- and they assume that
you won't either.
It's a refreshing and wonderful change from the Peyton Place emotional
roller coaster that mars too many typical relationships!

9. People with Autism open new doors for neurotypicals.
For many neurotypicals, having an autistic person in our lives has had
a profound impact on our perceptions and expecations.

10. People with Autism are passionate.
Of course, not all autistic people are alike. But many are truely
passionate about the things, ideas and people in their lives. How many "typical" people can
say the same?

Top Ten List created by: Lisa Jo Rudy


I am also reading a Nuturing book abt parenting and Im relearning alot of tips I knew once, but have somehow forgotten. The book is great it talks about parenting by natures way-taking aspects of how animals and things in nature parent and act and relating it to how we need to parent our kids or how we need to remember NOT to act. The book is called The Book of Nurturing. Chapter 2 deals with sea crabs.

Did you know that if you put a crab into a bucket it will eventually crawl out, but if you put more than one in there they will claw at the other, they both will, and neither one of them will ever crawl out as they pull each other down instead of build on each other and help each other get out. Weird- eh? They will continue to do this and never get out.

"What we learn from the crabs:

Crabs have an instinct to pull one another down
rather than boost one another up.
This reactionary tendancy prevents any crab
from climbing very high.
In our family, when we criticize
and put one another down,
we're being like the crabs.
Lets remember to boost one another up
and give one another compliments and praise.
Lets remind one another and always
try to remember not to be like the crabs."
------------------Linda and Richard Eyre

Stinger has been having some tough days lately..........really tough......but Im going to try something-Ive tried it in the past, but Im REALLY going to see if I can improve things by giving compliments and praise instead of always nit picking and condeming. Im going to go over Stingers tracker everyday and only talk abt what he did good that day. Im going to watch him closely and praise him when he is playing nice with Flamingo and Monkey Boy. Im going to tell him good job when he coperates in the morning and gets dressed. Im going to praise when he at least tries a food at dinner time. Im going to watch for him making good choices all day and give those things my attention . I think I have gotten into the rut of watching for all the behaviors I dont like and I have been pulling him down with this.....Ill keep ya posted how this goes.

The Special Mother

I might have posted this already-LOLOL-But its one of my favorites and bears to be repeated agn and agn-eh? Sometimes its nice to remember our flaws are what makes us perfect mothers to our special kids-;) :)

The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness. " The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will consider a step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... .and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

Update-and odds and ends

Welll.....well......well..........Someone called me bright and early.

Teacher X was apoligetic and yet kept referencing back to something Stinger had done......Im not really surprized...AT ALL......

I guess she knows abt the aides wanting to find new jobs, said this was a good reminder though that they need to watch what they say infront of the kids...hmmm...

I do know from research that I have done that special education teachers do have a high turn over rate. I know this......I knwo it takes a special person to want to help these kids. But sheesh..keep the comments to yourself-kwim? How hard is that?!!!
So...Im waiting for them to GET new jobs and quiet complaining-eh, I guess? Wont we all be happier then-right? LOLOLOL????
So not much was accomplished-just that I wanted them to know that Stinger is aware of what they say and who knows what he will repeat back to me when they are home...Its think they need to be reminded of this every so often;)

And what do ya know-he came home the next day 100% -all 5's!!!!!:) Think this had anything to do with it...maybee....who really knows.

My main point in writing to them is to let them know that I am a concerned parent-that I DO care what goes on at that school. Maybee other parents there dont-but I for one do-kwim? So I feel I was heard and thats the end of it...I hope.....which is good :)

Dh is taking off today-he got a swing set for the kiddoes and is fixing up the tractor. Stinger is outside being Daddys little helper. Its kinda windy-so they decieded to put the swing set together later this weekend.

Flamingo and I played pretty girl this morning. We did our nails and toenails. She is so much fun. She forgot;) to tell me that shes not allowed to wear nail polish to school....LOLOL-hopefully weve got some remover ard here somewhere to take off that HOT PINK color she chose to do her nails with-LOLOLOLOL. What a stinker-eh?

Group is going good-the tecahe rthere is really good at listening to Stinger and getting eye contact from him before she directs him-she is a jem, and Stinger responds to this teacher beautifully and is enjoying group more and more. There is a little girl there who is always teasing him-playfully teasing him, and Stinger doesnt seam to mind this FROM HER-which is a BIG THING!!!LOLOL But things are going MUCH better at group. He is still choosing to play alone, but hes getting more and more adjusted to the whole place and the kids and teachers.

It amazes me how just the right teacher can make ALLLL the difference with him...

Im reading a Temple Grandin book-she is REALLY clever. Shes got high functioning Autism and has used a passion of interest she has to become very successful in life. Im just soaking up these two books. But Ill post abt them later. Shes got some really interesting ideas abt animal behaviors and autistic behaviors that seam right on having to do with sensory and flight or fight behaviors etc....Very interesting indeed!

All the kids are home today-our power on our road went off yesterday at 1 pm and didnt come back on till abt 5am this morning-..sigh...the kids were all upstairs in Flamingo's bed as no one wanted to be all alone in the dark-so no one got much sleep last night-so they stayed home :)

It was kinda nice having no power-my mind started racing agn abt it-LOLOL;)thinking maybee...... then I realized I cant live without the dryer or washer very well can I? But it would be nice and it kinda was last night.

hmmm.......

Well I didnt really want to write abt everything thats been going on-so I just retyped a letter I just sent tonight to the school-LOLOL
Okay so Im lazy....I just get down when I think about things too much-so Ill update when I hear back from the school.....


Hi X-
Yikes! Stinger has done a complete turn around yesterday and today. I have NO idea what that is all about.......but it seams like he is reverting right back to where we started from :(

We have talked to him about the punching incident. That is not acceptable in our books. It seams that this X(I think that is her name)is someone that Stinger just recently had told me that he liked-she reminded him of a girl he knew at X school(X was her name) and he really had a crush on her. But as is usually the case-he has no idea how to be "friends" with someone whether he likes them or not. From what Stinger told me tonight she is teasing him now and he gets mad and does the first thing that pops into his head-punching....:(

When Stinger and I were talking tonight he mentioned something to me that was pretty upsetting. It had to do with the aides Mrs X(aide)???and X aide today. I guess they were "talking" or "fighting" according to Stinger while Stinger and the two of them were in your room.

Ill just write what Stinger told me:

Stinger-"why are you guys always fighting?"-directed at Mrs X and X.

Aides?X?- "If you don't want to hear us-just hurry up and write that letter so you can get your butt out of here"-directed towards Stinger

Aides-" I don't care if he writes that stupid letter."-directed to each other.

They went on to discuss a plan on how they can get new jobs, how they want new jobs, and how they have to work together to get new jobs. But that they have a plan.

All of this took place in front of Stinger. Which is very upsetting to us. Is this what normally goes on when you are gone???? Is this how they normally talk to Stinger??Stinger started to cry when he was talking about it. Saying that he does not like them and they talk mean to him. Saying he wants to go back to Mr X, and that he wants to go back to X school.

He has never talked like this before-feeling like he isn't wanted there and that his own teachers who are supposed to be helping him actually don't want to be there to help him. That they want another job and that they don't care. This is upsetting to think that he feels like this now, but even more upsetting to know that he has heard this come from these teachers whom we have trusted to teach him. Stinger thinks these feelings are because of him or what he has done.

Stinger is supposed to be learning how to control his anger, how to control his thoughts and feelings. When he messes up he has consequences-be it apology notes and timeouts etc. But how can he learn this when the aides freely discuss their opinions and feelings in front of the children they are supposed to be teaching this to?????Like they aren't even there??Like they dont matter??

I understand that Stinger can be a handful. I really understand this. I know it takes a lot of patience and understanding on the part of the staff at X school to calmly deal with issues that come up and I understand that there might be off days for a teacher too. But I was under the impression from you that your staff had been trained, that they wanted to be there. That you had put your confidence in them.That they could deal with these issues that come up from day to day. Now we are not sure they are, do , or even want to.

Stinger asked me if I was going to be at some meeting tomorrow-I guess the aides were talking about it again in front of Stinger. Again he is under the impression that it is about him. I assume it isn't as I wasn't informed about any meeting. I'm sure some choice words were said about the meeting which Stinger thinks is about him-as he is worried about it tonight.

Stinger is a child. A child trying to learn, trying to make good choices, trying to be understood. But he is also a child who can hear. He can hear what people say about him, he can hear when teachers or aides talk about him as if he wasn't there. He does have feelings and they are hurt.

As parents we are hurting for our child in knowing that this might be an everyday occurrence. We understand that you leave in the afternoon. I was not aware of this until recently. I am uncomfortable leaving Stinger in a situation where he is not wanted or cared about in such a way as he was spoken to and about today when you were gone. Maybe this is not the right place for Stinger. Maybe this is not the right field of work for the aides. Something.....All we know is that we do not want our child in a class where the aides who are left in charge don't want to be there, and they feel so strongly about it that they take it out on the child and say it in front of them. I can only imagine how hurt Stinger must have felt to hear these things.....from these aides....of all people......

Maybe you have no idea about all of this. Maybe they haven't said anything to you. Maybe you know nothing about their "plan"that Stinger overheard. But we feel very unsettled about the whole thing, and hope you do too. I know X, that you care about the children that are in your care. Stinger knows it-he likes you :) I just wanted you to be aware of what is going on-I know you would want to know if your staff was unhappy and were voicing it to the children in your class.

Maybe, hopefully, you can get to the bottom of this. I know I for one , am not too thrilled about sending my son back to a place where the staff doesn't want to be there, doesn't care enough about the children to watch what they say in front of them. We dont think it was professional, to hurt a childs feelings like that. It is cruel and Stinger shouldnt have to listen to it. No child should be made to feel at fault for a staffs feelings. Be it a certain child who is being difficult or a job that is not satisfying to him or her. These feelings should not be shared in front of the child in their care.

Stinger is trying-and has been doing really well. It takes everything hes got to hold it together for the day. I would think the aides would acknowlegde that and be a little bit more understanding. Its a HARD job-We KNOW this. But they are the ones who are supposed to be in control-they are not the CHILD with the dissability trying their hardest to make it through a day.

Stinger has a hard time with the kids at school. They tease him, they talk about him in front of him and behind his back. We all know this, we have all learned this. Not in a million years did we think to worry about the aides treating him in the same manner. We felt he was safe with you and your staff at X. We are not sure that is the case any longer.

He was on level 1 today. Which we were under the impression that he had supervised breaks and supervision at lunch on level 1.To prevent him getting out of control on level 1 he is to be supervised and watched-right, as he can not be trusted to act calmly or rationally? But he was allowed to escalate and got a punch in on a girl??How did this happen? I can only assume he wasn't being watched or the aides would have seen him getting agitated and removed him-right? Isn't that how it is supposed to work? But if the aides don't want to be there and they don't care I guess they wouldn't be watching anyway...so I guess it makes sense. ?????:( All I know is that a child cannot learn or be taught with this kind of attitude from staff. A child should not have to listen or hear these types of remarks from the ones who are supposed to be supporting him.

Can you talk to them and see what is going on?

Please give me a call tomorrow so we can talk more about all of this.

Signed X


So....what do you all think-I TRIED to be nice, but Im highly upset abt everything......everything...LOLOLOL

"Oh Me-Oh My"Its IEP season....:)

This was too funny-and it gave me a laugh this morning :) Enjoy :)


'Oh Me Oh My', It’s IEP Season by Lori Miller Fox


If life’s a journey, then the school years are the longest collection of toll roads. And as our day to ante up gets closer, I decided to take a calmer, gentler, more centered approach toward our child’s IEP and use meditation techniques and a zen state of mind to help get through it harmoniously. Here are just a few of my affirmations.

I will live in the moment, starting tomorrow.

I will do a better job of giving up my need for perfection.

I will look at my experiences with the school district as an opportunity for growth -- the kind of growth that needs to be removed.

I will no longer throw judgment at school people -- or raw eggs or rotten tomatoes, or large heavy objects.

I will give up my disagreements with the school to a higher power -- my special education attorney

I will not look to the school to heal my child, I will just look to them to stop harming him.

Every time I am angry with the school, I will breathe, and breathe, and keep breathing until I hyperventilate and pass out.

I will ask the Universe for guidance for my child, because heaven knows, the school guidance counselor has nothing to offer.

I will accept the things I can not change, and change the teachers I can.

When I become enraged, I will sit quietly and repeat my mantra “due process, due process, due process...”

I will accept my challenges in life as a gift from the Universe, that I would gladly regift to my child’s IEP team at Christmas.

I will graciously accept my child’s school district as karmic payback from something terrible I must have done in a past life.

I will look to Mother Nature for peace and understanding of the school district, although being a mother herself, she would probably side with me.

I will listen to the school’s position with love in my heart, grace in my soul, and a special education attorney at my side.

I will proudly acknowledge that my child is the real teacher in this world, and that the school staff who do not recognize this, are the failing students.

Posted by Charles Fox on March 02, 2007

Easter Fun :)

Well its a bit late-LOLOLOL, but thought Id update.

Sunday was alot of fun. The weather didnt quite cooperate with everything we had planned, but we still managed to have fun......

Kids woke up-EARLY-LOLOLOL, hunted for Easter eggs and baskets. Had cinnamon rolls and cantalope for breakfast-nummy-

Monkey boy had everything unwrapped in a matter of minutes, Stinger loved everything, but wasnt too interested in the candy-go figure, and Flamingo was just thrilled with everything and is still maticulously taking care of her candy and loving every bit of everything...LOLOLOL. She'll probably have some left at Christmas-LOLOLOL.

The kids all got cool kites(well I thought they were cool-until we got to the park)Stinger got a bumble bee, Flamingo got a pretty parrot, and Monkey boy got a dragonfly. We were all very anxious to go to the park so we started to get ready after the eating and looking of treats etc. But the weather was just not cooperating here:(

We decide to go anyway. So we loaded up our KFC, kites, balls and things to play etc and we are on our way. In the meantime clouds just keep rolling in and it starts to rain:(But we keep going....LOLOL.

We get to the park and it is FREEZING-LOLOL, but we unlaod all our goodies and we eat. It was soo nummy. While we were there there where 3 kids who kept coming ard. One girl-probably abt 10 or so was a very bossy little girl and kept shouting, and she just wouldnt leave us alone-LOLOL, the kids go and play and Flamingo comes back saying that the girl is being mean and abt starts to cry.

So we get out our balls and kites. This little girl takes the ball and runs away with it-Flamingo starts to cry. By now we are all just getting really frustrated and cold-even Stinger, who braves all eliments without a care was complaining about being cold. So we get out our eggs and it totally starts to pour rain.........and this girl and the other kids come up to us and ask to throw some eggs....sigh....they just would not leave.....LOLOLOLThey wanted to put together the kites and they wouldnt let our kids fly them...sheesh and the kites where really hard to put together too..it was a big headache.

So we decided to leave......so we get home and its really sunny outside,and what do ya know......ist not freezing...... so we put out the blanket and have the rest of our picnic and we roll eggs in our yard. We tried to hit the mailbox and get them over the ditch. We all had alot of fun......more fun than we had at the park. So it ended up not being so bad. We played ball and everyone had a great time eating my rice crispy treats too :)

Sheesh... though, what a memory-eh?Darn weather...... It was interesting to say the least, but we managed to pull it off somehow-LOLOLOLOL

We missed Nana and Papa this year, the kids thought they were going to be at the park and I kept having to tell them "No, not this year"They were missed, but Im not sure they would have missed this one...LOLOLOL;)

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter {{HUGS}}

April is Autism Awareness Month....

There are ALOT of Autism shows on this month-so keep your eyes peeled :)