Ive been thinking about this alot lately...and feeling incredibly heart-broken at the same time...
I just cant get past the fact as a mother, as a protector-I let my son become such a victim. Ive been doing alot of soul searching, praying, festering, praying. This article says it all....
Children's Voice Article, September/October 2003
Practicing Restraint
By Scott Kirkwood
Restraint and seclusion were once considered acceptable, even a valuable tools in maintaining control of unruly children in residential group homes. But the call for alternatives is growing louder.
The negative effects of restraint have been well-publicized in recent years, most notably in a 1998 series in the Hartford (Connecticut) Courant implicating restraint in the death of dozens of children each year.
"Facilities that use seclusion and restraint have a much higher rate of injuries and sometimes deaths than institutions that don't use seclusion and restraint,"
If the Courant series revealed the lethal physical component of restraint, new research reveals the mental component is just as important. "Children who are victims or witnesses to abuse experience significant changes in the way they regulate their emotions over time, creating all kinds of problems as they get older," Huckshorn says.
"There was a tacit belief that containing children, setting harsh limits, and imposing a physical restraint or seclusion was somehow therapeutic. How we got the idea that meeting a child's history with violence was somehow going to be palliative and restorative, we don't know." If a child's frustrations are the powder keg that makes potential conflict so explosive, it's often the staff who provide the spark.
"In reviewing restraint episodes involving children, we noticed a pattern," says Nan Stromberg, Director of Nursing and Licensing for Massachusetts DMH. "When kids were in trouble and in distress, the staff would set limits, and the kids would then become more agitated--a recipe for restraint."
"Our belief now is that restraint is a treatment failure," Farragher says. "We end up physically holding kids when our program isn't holding them. To change that requires a team approach."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay-so we have established that these types of things must be a team approach-everyone trying to work on things, everyone trying to de-escalate, everyone trying to use restraint and seclusion as a LAST result. Taking into consideration what each member of the "team" has to say abt EVERYTHING.....Clearly that is not what Stingers school is set out to do.
They like the fact I am so far away-which makes it harder to know what is actually going on. They have "rules" on visiting-which seam to magically change when dh is present. They insult me-claiming I am an overprotective parent who just needs to let go, and let them do their jobs. They fail to mention what actually goes on during the day-and instead I am met at the door by a brusied up child-phyisically and emotionally. I am told not to discuss anything bad-as they have taken care of it.....Then I am blamed at an IEP meeting that I have a "trust issue.
Holds and seclusions are not mentioned. Accidents-from bathroom priviledges taken away etc-are not mentioned. Cleanups that Stinger himself has to take care of which were the result of their ignorance-again not mentioned. Locked doors and pinches under the arms are not mentioned. Rude comments are thrown Stingers way by staff-again- explained away...sigh...Boxes with windows taped shut(scenes from horror movies which I swore only could be found at your local video store) are quickly shoved under the carpet and explained to be neccesary. Seclusion lasting goodness knows how long-again never specified-me asking and asking, stating I dont agree(remember the "team" deal?) telling Stinger to let me know if he spends all day in seclusion-then the "team" belittling me-blaming me that this tactic is failing now as I have talked to my son and told him this is not right!!!!-then feeling the repercusions from this by them staing they could no longer provide for my son......
Is it really a "trust" issue-well yes, having been to hell and back I would say YES-will it EVER be regained? No-not EVER.
So after much debate in my mind-and I could punch myself for debating abt such things.....We have decided to homeschool Stinger. He will NOT be stepping one foot into a Public school until I can be assured that he will be safe there-that the staff is compitant in dealing with behviors-in actually talking to Stinger and actually finding out what the trouble was all about-which no school has EVER EVER done. So I dont have high hopes for the outcome of him ever going back-somewhere over the rainbow...maybee there......maybee.......
I have picked the k12 program-I signed him up today -and yes, I know its federally funded-so they will be up our noses Im sure. But Im to the point where I dont care. I dont care-because I know Stinger will be safe now-THATS what is important.Come to my house-do your worst-as I knwo your worst has already been done to my son. He wont be told to sit in a chair like a robot and do exactly what he is told so he can pick a prize...sigh....I told them Stinger had an IEP and they want a copy, his behavior plan to-for the assesment-huh?For the Special Needs coordinator .Sounds like some mumbo jumbo testing they have rigged up-FUN....but again-who cares. Ive had him tested at a Childrens Hospital-so that doc trumps any they've got.They are intitled to any opinion-I dont care really....I dont know exactly what it will entail and I might end up having to just find my own curriculum. But I can do that. So we will wait and see I guess.
Im just relieved I stepped up-I can finally claim I am not the "chicken" any longer. Stinger will be in good, SAFE hands. Now and for how ever long it takes. :)
Boy-that felt good :)LOLOLOLOL
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
A Mothers Prayer For Mental Illness
This poem was posted on a group I belong to. It really touched me.
We on that board each have such different children each struggling with so many different issues and obsticles.......yet each and every day I am amazed at the bond that we mothers all share together-the support we can give each other-the same feelings we all share-and the fears we all face with our kids-the here and now as well as what the future has in store.....
A Mothers Prayer For Mental Illness
As I stumble from my bed this morning, help me to remember to be gentle and kind.My child's mind is shredding into a million pieces. He lives in a constant state of atrocious fear. I can see it in his eyes. Give him peace.
Guide me as I hold him in my arms. Help me to know what to say. What to do. Fill my heart with healing love, understanding, and empathy.
Give me the strength of a thousand angels to hold back my tears. My heart is broken and a tidal wave of grief is overwhelming me with the need to cry. Give me the strength to bear it long enough to keep it from disturbing my child. Help me find someone I can safely bring it to.
Help me answer my family's questions with the same amount of compassion I would want for my self. Help me remember they are hurting too. This is an unwelcomed assault on an entire family. My heart is not the only heart that is broken. We all need time and each other to heal.
As my journey becomes more and more isolative and lonely, remind me that the lack of involvement on the part of ones I knew is not always because of the stigma and the ignorance. For many, it is because they are hurting too. They have the privelege of turning to their own lives.
This is my family's life now. I must deal with it whether I am hurting or not.
Send me your best physicians and healers. Give me presence of mind, as I walk through the exhaustion of my grief to not settle for just any one no matter how tiresome the journey becomes.
Help me adjust to the idea, that although it appears sometimes that my son is gone, that he is still inside waiting for us to find him.
Infuse the creative part of my mind with solution oriented thinking. Give me hope. Even if it is just a glimmer of hope. A mother can go for miles on just one tiny glimmer. Let me see just a flicker of the sparkle of joy in his eyes.
Guide my hands, calm my mind, as I fill out the multitude of forms for services. Then help me do it again over and over.
Provide me with the knowledge. Lead me to the books I need to read, the organizations I need to connect with.
As you work though the people in my life, help me to recognize those that are here to help. Help me trust the right ones. Shine a light upon the right path.
Give me the courage to speak my truth; to know my son's truth. And to speak for him when he is unable to do it for himself.
Show me when to do for him what he is not capable of doing for himself. Help me to recognize the difference.
Help me to stand tall in the face of the stigma; to battle the discrimination with the mighty sword of a spiritual warrior. And to deflect the sting of blame and faultfinding from the ignorant and the cruel.
Preserve my love for my family. Shield my marriage with the wisdom of the love that brought us together.
Protect him from homelessness, loneliness, victimization, poverty, hunger, hopelessness, relapse, drugs, alcohol, suicide, cruelty and obscurity.
Lead us to the miracles of better medications, better funding, better services, safe and plentiful housing, meaningful employment, communities who care, enlightenment. Help us to find some way to replace all the greed with humanitarian work and intrinsic reward again.
Most of all, give me the strength to deliver whatever I can to the work of unmasking the man made ugliness of this disease and revealing the human and all of it's suffering beneath.
Finally, when it is my time to leave my son behind, send a thousand angels to take my place.
We on that board each have such different children each struggling with so many different issues and obsticles.......yet each and every day I am amazed at the bond that we mothers all share together-the support we can give each other-the same feelings we all share-and the fears we all face with our kids-the here and now as well as what the future has in store.....
A Mothers Prayer For Mental Illness
As I stumble from my bed this morning, help me to remember to be gentle and kind.My child's mind is shredding into a million pieces. He lives in a constant state of atrocious fear. I can see it in his eyes. Give him peace.
Guide me as I hold him in my arms. Help me to know what to say. What to do. Fill my heart with healing love, understanding, and empathy.
Give me the strength of a thousand angels to hold back my tears. My heart is broken and a tidal wave of grief is overwhelming me with the need to cry. Give me the strength to bear it long enough to keep it from disturbing my child. Help me find someone I can safely bring it to.
Help me answer my family's questions with the same amount of compassion I would want for my self. Help me remember they are hurting too. This is an unwelcomed assault on an entire family. My heart is not the only heart that is broken. We all need time and each other to heal.
As my journey becomes more and more isolative and lonely, remind me that the lack of involvement on the part of ones I knew is not always because of the stigma and the ignorance. For many, it is because they are hurting too. They have the privelege of turning to their own lives.
This is my family's life now. I must deal with it whether I am hurting or not.
Send me your best physicians and healers. Give me presence of mind, as I walk through the exhaustion of my grief to not settle for just any one no matter how tiresome the journey becomes.
Help me adjust to the idea, that although it appears sometimes that my son is gone, that he is still inside waiting for us to find him.
Infuse the creative part of my mind with solution oriented thinking. Give me hope. Even if it is just a glimmer of hope. A mother can go for miles on just one tiny glimmer. Let me see just a flicker of the sparkle of joy in his eyes.
Guide my hands, calm my mind, as I fill out the multitude of forms for services. Then help me do it again over and over.
Provide me with the knowledge. Lead me to the books I need to read, the organizations I need to connect with.
As you work though the people in my life, help me to recognize those that are here to help. Help me trust the right ones. Shine a light upon the right path.
Give me the courage to speak my truth; to know my son's truth. And to speak for him when he is unable to do it for himself.
Show me when to do for him what he is not capable of doing for himself. Help me to recognize the difference.
Help me to stand tall in the face of the stigma; to battle the discrimination with the mighty sword of a spiritual warrior. And to deflect the sting of blame and faultfinding from the ignorant and the cruel.
Preserve my love for my family. Shield my marriage with the wisdom of the love that brought us together.
Protect him from homelessness, loneliness, victimization, poverty, hunger, hopelessness, relapse, drugs, alcohol, suicide, cruelty and obscurity.
Lead us to the miracles of better medications, better funding, better services, safe and plentiful housing, meaningful employment, communities who care, enlightenment. Help us to find some way to replace all the greed with humanitarian work and intrinsic reward again.
Most of all, give me the strength to deliver whatever I can to the work of unmasking the man made ugliness of this disease and revealing the human and all of it's suffering beneath.
Finally, when it is my time to leave my son behind, send a thousand angels to take my place.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Why Women Cry-POEM
I thought this was beautiful......enjoy....:)
Why Women Cry
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides." * * *~ author unknown ~
Why Women Cry
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides." * * *~ author unknown ~
Interesting Read on IQ scores....
Hidden Smarts: Abstract thought trumps IQ scores in autismBruce BowerThere's more to the intelligence of autistic people than meets the IQ.
" Unlike most individuals, children and adults diagnosed as autistic often score much higher on a challenging, nonverbal test of abstract reasoning than they do on a standard IQ test, say psychologist Laurent Mottron of Hôpital Rivière-des-Prairies in Montreal and his colleagues. The same autistic individuals who score near or below the IQ cutoff for "low functioning" or "mental retardation" achieve average or even superior scores on a test that taps a person's ability to infer rules and to think abstractly about geometric patterns, Mottron's team reports in the August Psychological Science.
"Intelligence has been underestimated in autistics," Mottron says. Autistic people solve problems and deploy neural resources in unusual ways, which are poorly understood and might contribute to problems with IQ tests, he asserts. Mottron regards autism as a variant of healthy neural development. For that reason, his group—including study coauthor Michelle Dawson, herself diagnosed as autistic—prefers the term "autistic" to "person with autism."
The researchers studied 38 autistic children, ages 7 to 16; 13 autistic adults, ages 16 to 43; 24 nonautistic children, ages 6 to 16; and 19 nonautistic adults, ages 19 to 32. Volunteers completed an age-appropriate IQ test and a Raven's Progressive Matrices test. The latter test includes 60 items, each consisting of a series of related geometric designs and a choice of six or eight alternative designs, one of which completes the series.
The nonautistic children and adults scored slightly above the population average on both tests. In contrast, autistic kids and adults scored far higher on the Raven's test than they did on the IQ tests. These youngsters' average IQ was substantially below the population average, but their average score on the Raven's test was in the normal range. One-third of autistic children qualified as "low functioning" by IQ, but only 5 percent did so by Raven's scores.
Moreover, another third of the autistic children achieved "high intelligence" on the Raven's test. As in previous research, autistic volunteers performed well on an IQ task that required them to reproduce geometric designs using colored blocks. The new findings confirm prior indications that autistics score poorly on IQ tests despite processing perceptual information well, comments psychologist Uta Frith of University College London.
In a 2000 study, Frith's team noted that autistic and nonautistic children made equally rapid and accurate visual judgments, such as discerning which of two lines was longer. In people with autism, a lack of social insight derails the ability to acquire skills and information from others, a key to IQ success, Frith theorizes. Autistics thus succeed only on self-explanatory tasks, such as the Raven's test.
The Raven's test may measure autistic intelligence better than an IQ test does, adds psychologist Helen Tager-Flusberg of Boston University. Nonetheless, many autistic children are extremely impaired intellectually, she says. Researchers generally sell short the unique features of autistic intelligence, Dawson responds. For example, autistics shift flexibly back and forth between focusing on details of a scene or its overall configuration, whereas nonautistics single-mindedly concentrate on the big picture, she says. "
Hmmmmmm..............
" Unlike most individuals, children and adults diagnosed as autistic often score much higher on a challenging, nonverbal test of abstract reasoning than they do on a standard IQ test, say psychologist Laurent Mottron of Hôpital Rivière-des-Prairies in Montreal and his colleagues. The same autistic individuals who score near or below the IQ cutoff for "low functioning" or "mental retardation" achieve average or even superior scores on a test that taps a person's ability to infer rules and to think abstractly about geometric patterns, Mottron's team reports in the August Psychological Science.
"Intelligence has been underestimated in autistics," Mottron says. Autistic people solve problems and deploy neural resources in unusual ways, which are poorly understood and might contribute to problems with IQ tests, he asserts. Mottron regards autism as a variant of healthy neural development. For that reason, his group—including study coauthor Michelle Dawson, herself diagnosed as autistic—prefers the term "autistic" to "person with autism."
The researchers studied 38 autistic children, ages 7 to 16; 13 autistic adults, ages 16 to 43; 24 nonautistic children, ages 6 to 16; and 19 nonautistic adults, ages 19 to 32. Volunteers completed an age-appropriate IQ test and a Raven's Progressive Matrices test. The latter test includes 60 items, each consisting of a series of related geometric designs and a choice of six or eight alternative designs, one of which completes the series.
The nonautistic children and adults scored slightly above the population average on both tests. In contrast, autistic kids and adults scored far higher on the Raven's test than they did on the IQ tests. These youngsters' average IQ was substantially below the population average, but their average score on the Raven's test was in the normal range. One-third of autistic children qualified as "low functioning" by IQ, but only 5 percent did so by Raven's scores.
Moreover, another third of the autistic children achieved "high intelligence" on the Raven's test. As in previous research, autistic volunteers performed well on an IQ task that required them to reproduce geometric designs using colored blocks. The new findings confirm prior indications that autistics score poorly on IQ tests despite processing perceptual information well, comments psychologist Uta Frith of University College London.
In a 2000 study, Frith's team noted that autistic and nonautistic children made equally rapid and accurate visual judgments, such as discerning which of two lines was longer. In people with autism, a lack of social insight derails the ability to acquire skills and information from others, a key to IQ success, Frith theorizes. Autistics thus succeed only on self-explanatory tasks, such as the Raven's test.
The Raven's test may measure autistic intelligence better than an IQ test does, adds psychologist Helen Tager-Flusberg of Boston University. Nonetheless, many autistic children are extremely impaired intellectually, she says. Researchers generally sell short the unique features of autistic intelligence, Dawson responds. For example, autistics shift flexibly back and forth between focusing on details of a scene or its overall configuration, whereas nonautistics single-mindedly concentrate on the big picture, she says. "
Hmmmmmm..............
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Another Day..... Another Doc....
Well today we met another Doc yet again fromMH as ours has left-YET AGAIN! Sheesh.....Why is Stinger on Medicaid again-LOLOL;) yi-yi-yigh.....sigh....
But before that we had an apointment to touch base with his case worker. Seams yesterday Stinger got upset as a kid in group was saying something when Stinger thought it was quite time and no one should be talking-punched him. Had another incident in the bathroom with the same kid-knocked his glasses off and scratched him....Therapist says it was a space issue-then I told him what Stinger had told me-abt the name calling. So it was probably a combo of both.....Guess he had to be escorted out of the bathroom and procedded to have a fit as he doesnt like being touched when he is already aggitated. Yet when I questioned Stinger abt it yesterday Stinger said the case worker didnt touch him like the aides at school-he was stronger and case worker didnt hurt him like the aides do.....
And no I wasnt told of any of this-but apparently the case worker KNOWS how to do certain things-even Stinger noticed...sigh......which brought me thinking to school issues again...and now Im festering-especially since the next apt with the new Dr suggested I needed to find a lawyer...LOLOLOL.
Hes quiet an older doc-but I think Im liking him already-I went on and on abt our history at the "school" and he was VERY understanding and actually stated some things that I have NEVER heard from MH personel-actually on MY side-actually on Stingers side-not on the schools-kwim?
But he is VERY concerned abt Stinger and his treatment by the "school"-but he called me a chicken-LOLOLOL, as he said I knew it was not right, that they cant bully me, that what they are doing is not legal. We talked abt the box and abt my trust "issues"-as the school likes to call them. He stated it was a load of bunk, that I had goo dreason to have my so called "trust issues"-LOLOLOL and that I need to contact a lawyer...so I agn am festering..festering abt Stingers next year..wondering what is the right thing to do here....burning any kind of bridge that we might need-I am scared of, yet what they do is wrong......sigh.....
Stinger is actually doing VERY well at home. Hes actively ingaging Flamingo girl and Monkey Boy and asking them to play, sharing......its as if I have a different kid. We have the occasional fit when he throws things-but its nothing like its been when he's in school-agn-are they connected?
Is the school causing Stingers behavior to worsen-if he was home would he be the Stinger I am seeing now? ACK-are you tearing your hair out yet? LOLOLOL
Anyway...the in-home behavior therapist came today. Stinger would have none of anything-wanted to look himslef in his room and then decided to just play outside with the water hose-and its just going to take awhile. Of course he showed no behaviors....LOLOLOL. She said thsi was normal and she presented us with soem rules we might want to consider-I think they are great. So we went over them at dinner. The kids liked them.
One of the rules is if there is a problem then I will ask them to solve it. If they dont or wont, I will solve it-LOLOL
Flamingo doesnt care for this one-saying she doesnt want to solve any of her problems-LOLOLOL
But teh in home therapist will be coming every Tuesday for abt 2 hrs. So every week Ive got to have the house presenteable-LOLOL-good challenge-eh? But she has given me soem good techniques I have forgotten abt or hadnt thought of-so we will give it a go and we shall see........
But before that we had an apointment to touch base with his case worker. Seams yesterday Stinger got upset as a kid in group was saying something when Stinger thought it was quite time and no one should be talking-punched him. Had another incident in the bathroom with the same kid-knocked his glasses off and scratched him....Therapist says it was a space issue-then I told him what Stinger had told me-abt the name calling. So it was probably a combo of both.....Guess he had to be escorted out of the bathroom and procedded to have a fit as he doesnt like being touched when he is already aggitated. Yet when I questioned Stinger abt it yesterday Stinger said the case worker didnt touch him like the aides at school-he was stronger and case worker didnt hurt him like the aides do.....
And no I wasnt told of any of this-but apparently the case worker KNOWS how to do certain things-even Stinger noticed...sigh......which brought me thinking to school issues again...and now Im festering-especially since the next apt with the new Dr suggested I needed to find a lawyer...LOLOLOL.
Hes quiet an older doc-but I think Im liking him already-I went on and on abt our history at the "school" and he was VERY understanding and actually stated some things that I have NEVER heard from MH personel-actually on MY side-actually on Stingers side-not on the schools-kwim?
But he is VERY concerned abt Stinger and his treatment by the "school"-but he called me a chicken-LOLOLOL, as he said I knew it was not right, that they cant bully me, that what they are doing is not legal. We talked abt the box and abt my trust "issues"-as the school likes to call them. He stated it was a load of bunk, that I had goo dreason to have my so called "trust issues"-LOLOLOL and that I need to contact a lawyer...so I agn am festering..festering abt Stingers next year..wondering what is the right thing to do here....burning any kind of bridge that we might need-I am scared of, yet what they do is wrong......sigh.....
Stinger is actually doing VERY well at home. Hes actively ingaging Flamingo girl and Monkey Boy and asking them to play, sharing......its as if I have a different kid. We have the occasional fit when he throws things-but its nothing like its been when he's in school-agn-are they connected?
Is the school causing Stingers behavior to worsen-if he was home would he be the Stinger I am seeing now? ACK-are you tearing your hair out yet? LOLOLOL
Anyway...the in-home behavior therapist came today. Stinger would have none of anything-wanted to look himslef in his room and then decided to just play outside with the water hose-and its just going to take awhile. Of course he showed no behaviors....LOLOLOL. She said thsi was normal and she presented us with soem rules we might want to consider-I think they are great. So we went over them at dinner. The kids liked them.
One of the rules is if there is a problem then I will ask them to solve it. If they dont or wont, I will solve it-LOLOL
Flamingo doesnt care for this one-saying she doesnt want to solve any of her problems-LOLOLOL
But teh in home therapist will be coming every Tuesday for abt 2 hrs. So every week Ive got to have the house presenteable-LOLOL-good challenge-eh? But she has given me soem good techniques I have forgotten abt or hadnt thought of-so we will give it a go and we shall see........
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Well its been awhile-HAPPY 4TH!!!!!:)
I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!!!! We did :)
We had a cookout-which was oh so nummy, I made a jello with whip cream on top-BIG HIT! LOLOL :) Go figure that one -eh? ;)
Then we headed out to Brigham to see the firework show-which is always awesome. The only thing missing was Papa and Nana:( We sure miss them :( The band played Fiddler on the Roof during the hour we were waiting. I thought of my Dad-doing his dance:"if I were a rich man" and I found myself smiling. :)
Fireworks started at 10 and they were marvelous. I always get chooked up when hearing America songs-one that stood out was really good"Here in America..In God We Still Stand" oh it was beautiful!!!!!It pulled at my heart. We are sure a blessed country-we sure are a blessed people arent we. Blair has been quoted as saying the true worth of a country is counted as to how many people are trying to get out and how many people are trying to get in. Doesnt take much to realize how blessed we truly are does it? Lisa-a blogger friend posted The Declaration-and yes I too beleieve it was Truly inspired of God:but we should all read it again, and again, and again.....
THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
But the night went great. The fireworks were right on top of us. The kids all layed down and just had to look up-they thought that was wonderful. Monkey boy was all giggles-he enjoyed them soo much and would roll over with excitement-LOLOL Stinger lay still as a statue with a big grin plastered on his face-too funny-but def in his moment. And then Flamingo-asking when it would be over as she was bored-LOLOLOL. HUH? LOLOLOLOL
But very nice-very nice indeed :)
Today has been a sad day for Flamingo-and me as well just seeing her heart break again and again-not being able to comfort her. She has been nursing a baby bird who fell out of its nest for a couple days now. Feeding it water with a Q-tip, catching every kind of bug imagineable to try and feed it. Keeping it out of the sun, talking to it, trying to teach it how to fly back up to the tree where it needed to be. She says they were best friends and she was mourning that friendship she formed with this bird today. She had even named it "caramel"......sigh....
This morning she awoke and checked on her little friend to find him still and cold. She awoke Mom and said his eyes looked funny-not realizing he had died in the night...sigh....We walk over together and that walk was sooo hard to take with her-as I just KNEW what had happend. She looked up at me and tears started to fill her eyes as she asked what was wrong with her little bird friend? She has been fighting back tears all day-as caramel keeps creeping into her mind she says. She wants to hear her bird in Heaven-she wants to talk with her friend as she says her friend is still in her heart :( and she doesnt understand why in Heaven her friend cant talk to her now....
I tell her to smile as her friend is happy now as he is all better and is flying with God now:) Does no good to soothe her hurt inside. I tell her about me as a child trying to nurse baby birds also and feeling so sad when they left. But that they needed their Momma-their Momma was the only thing that could have made them better, even though I had tried as best I could to get them right again-they needed their mothers care and love. I realize nothing I say is going to take that hurt away-so I hold her tightly in my arms as her tears keep falling.
We got a little box lined with tissue paper. We taped it shut and Flamingo wrote "Kamel" on top of the box with a big red heart and signed her name at the bottom. We go out back and dig a hole and layed it to rest in a nice spot. Falmingo says "Be careful flying up in Heaven Caramel." She looks at me and tells me that God will take care of him now. She picked some flowers and put them on top and a twig to mark it. She has since been back to visit that exact spot Id say probably 5 times today......She went to bed tonight sniffing back tears.......
Oh- who knew what a hard job this "Mothering" would be....sigh......
My children teach me every day.....and my heart grows bigger and bigger with each new lesson learned....
We had a cookout-which was oh so nummy, I made a jello with whip cream on top-BIG HIT! LOLOL :) Go figure that one -eh? ;)
Then we headed out to Brigham to see the firework show-which is always awesome. The only thing missing was Papa and Nana:( We sure miss them :( The band played Fiddler on the Roof during the hour we were waiting. I thought of my Dad-doing his dance:"if I were a rich man" and I found myself smiling. :)
Fireworks started at 10 and they were marvelous. I always get chooked up when hearing America songs-one that stood out was really good"Here in America..In God We Still Stand" oh it was beautiful!!!!!It pulled at my heart. We are sure a blessed country-we sure are a blessed people arent we. Blair has been quoted as saying the true worth of a country is counted as to how many people are trying to get out and how many people are trying to get in. Doesnt take much to realize how blessed we truly are does it? Lisa-a blogger friend posted The Declaration-and yes I too beleieve it was Truly inspired of God:but we should all read it again, and again, and again.....
THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
But the night went great. The fireworks were right on top of us. The kids all layed down and just had to look up-they thought that was wonderful. Monkey boy was all giggles-he enjoyed them soo much and would roll over with excitement-LOLOL Stinger lay still as a statue with a big grin plastered on his face-too funny-but def in his moment. And then Flamingo-asking when it would be over as she was bored-LOLOLOL. HUH? LOLOLOLOL
But very nice-very nice indeed :)
Today has been a sad day for Flamingo-and me as well just seeing her heart break again and again-not being able to comfort her. She has been nursing a baby bird who fell out of its nest for a couple days now. Feeding it water with a Q-tip, catching every kind of bug imagineable to try and feed it. Keeping it out of the sun, talking to it, trying to teach it how to fly back up to the tree where it needed to be. She says they were best friends and she was mourning that friendship she formed with this bird today. She had even named it "caramel"......sigh....
This morning she awoke and checked on her little friend to find him still and cold. She awoke Mom and said his eyes looked funny-not realizing he had died in the night...sigh....We walk over together and that walk was sooo hard to take with her-as I just KNEW what had happend. She looked up at me and tears started to fill her eyes as she asked what was wrong with her little bird friend? She has been fighting back tears all day-as caramel keeps creeping into her mind she says. She wants to hear her bird in Heaven-she wants to talk with her friend as she says her friend is still in her heart :( and she doesnt understand why in Heaven her friend cant talk to her now....
I tell her to smile as her friend is happy now as he is all better and is flying with God now:) Does no good to soothe her hurt inside. I tell her about me as a child trying to nurse baby birds also and feeling so sad when they left. But that they needed their Momma-their Momma was the only thing that could have made them better, even though I had tried as best I could to get them right again-they needed their mothers care and love. I realize nothing I say is going to take that hurt away-so I hold her tightly in my arms as her tears keep falling.
We got a little box lined with tissue paper. We taped it shut and Flamingo wrote "Kamel" on top of the box with a big red heart and signed her name at the bottom. We go out back and dig a hole and layed it to rest in a nice spot. Falmingo says "Be careful flying up in Heaven Caramel." She looks at me and tells me that God will take care of him now. She picked some flowers and put them on top and a twig to mark it. She has since been back to visit that exact spot Id say probably 5 times today......She went to bed tonight sniffing back tears.......
Oh- who knew what a hard job this "Mothering" would be....sigh......
My children teach me every day.....and my heart grows bigger and bigger with each new lesson learned....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)