hmmm.......

Well I didnt really want to write abt everything thats been going on-so I just retyped a letter I just sent tonight to the school-LOLOL
Okay so Im lazy....I just get down when I think about things too much-so Ill update when I hear back from the school.....


Hi X-
Yikes! Stinger has done a complete turn around yesterday and today. I have NO idea what that is all about.......but it seams like he is reverting right back to where we started from :(

We have talked to him about the punching incident. That is not acceptable in our books. It seams that this X(I think that is her name)is someone that Stinger just recently had told me that he liked-she reminded him of a girl he knew at X school(X was her name) and he really had a crush on her. But as is usually the case-he has no idea how to be "friends" with someone whether he likes them or not. From what Stinger told me tonight she is teasing him now and he gets mad and does the first thing that pops into his head-punching....:(

When Stinger and I were talking tonight he mentioned something to me that was pretty upsetting. It had to do with the aides Mrs X(aide)???and X aide today. I guess they were "talking" or "fighting" according to Stinger while Stinger and the two of them were in your room.

Ill just write what Stinger told me:

Stinger-"why are you guys always fighting?"-directed at Mrs X and X.

Aides?X?- "If you don't want to hear us-just hurry up and write that letter so you can get your butt out of here"-directed towards Stinger

Aides-" I don't care if he writes that stupid letter."-directed to each other.

They went on to discuss a plan on how they can get new jobs, how they want new jobs, and how they have to work together to get new jobs. But that they have a plan.

All of this took place in front of Stinger. Which is very upsetting to us. Is this what normally goes on when you are gone???? Is this how they normally talk to Stinger??Stinger started to cry when he was talking about it. Saying that he does not like them and they talk mean to him. Saying he wants to go back to Mr X, and that he wants to go back to X school.

He has never talked like this before-feeling like he isn't wanted there and that his own teachers who are supposed to be helping him actually don't want to be there to help him. That they want another job and that they don't care. This is upsetting to think that he feels like this now, but even more upsetting to know that he has heard this come from these teachers whom we have trusted to teach him. Stinger thinks these feelings are because of him or what he has done.

Stinger is supposed to be learning how to control his anger, how to control his thoughts and feelings. When he messes up he has consequences-be it apology notes and timeouts etc. But how can he learn this when the aides freely discuss their opinions and feelings in front of the children they are supposed to be teaching this to?????Like they aren't even there??Like they dont matter??

I understand that Stinger can be a handful. I really understand this. I know it takes a lot of patience and understanding on the part of the staff at X school to calmly deal with issues that come up and I understand that there might be off days for a teacher too. But I was under the impression from you that your staff had been trained, that they wanted to be there. That you had put your confidence in them.That they could deal with these issues that come up from day to day. Now we are not sure they are, do , or even want to.

Stinger asked me if I was going to be at some meeting tomorrow-I guess the aides were talking about it again in front of Stinger. Again he is under the impression that it is about him. I assume it isn't as I wasn't informed about any meeting. I'm sure some choice words were said about the meeting which Stinger thinks is about him-as he is worried about it tonight.

Stinger is a child. A child trying to learn, trying to make good choices, trying to be understood. But he is also a child who can hear. He can hear what people say about him, he can hear when teachers or aides talk about him as if he wasn't there. He does have feelings and they are hurt.

As parents we are hurting for our child in knowing that this might be an everyday occurrence. We understand that you leave in the afternoon. I was not aware of this until recently. I am uncomfortable leaving Stinger in a situation where he is not wanted or cared about in such a way as he was spoken to and about today when you were gone. Maybe this is not the right place for Stinger. Maybe this is not the right field of work for the aides. Something.....All we know is that we do not want our child in a class where the aides who are left in charge don't want to be there, and they feel so strongly about it that they take it out on the child and say it in front of them. I can only imagine how hurt Stinger must have felt to hear these things.....from these aides....of all people......

Maybe you have no idea about all of this. Maybe they haven't said anything to you. Maybe you know nothing about their "plan"that Stinger overheard. But we feel very unsettled about the whole thing, and hope you do too. I know X, that you care about the children that are in your care. Stinger knows it-he likes you :) I just wanted you to be aware of what is going on-I know you would want to know if your staff was unhappy and were voicing it to the children in your class.

Maybe, hopefully, you can get to the bottom of this. I know I for one , am not too thrilled about sending my son back to a place where the staff doesn't want to be there, doesn't care enough about the children to watch what they say in front of them. We dont think it was professional, to hurt a childs feelings like that. It is cruel and Stinger shouldnt have to listen to it. No child should be made to feel at fault for a staffs feelings. Be it a certain child who is being difficult or a job that is not satisfying to him or her. These feelings should not be shared in front of the child in their care.

Stinger is trying-and has been doing really well. It takes everything hes got to hold it together for the day. I would think the aides would acknowlegde that and be a little bit more understanding. Its a HARD job-We KNOW this. But they are the ones who are supposed to be in control-they are not the CHILD with the dissability trying their hardest to make it through a day.

Stinger has a hard time with the kids at school. They tease him, they talk about him in front of him and behind his back. We all know this, we have all learned this. Not in a million years did we think to worry about the aides treating him in the same manner. We felt he was safe with you and your staff at X. We are not sure that is the case any longer.

He was on level 1 today. Which we were under the impression that he had supervised breaks and supervision at lunch on level 1.To prevent him getting out of control on level 1 he is to be supervised and watched-right, as he can not be trusted to act calmly or rationally? But he was allowed to escalate and got a punch in on a girl??How did this happen? I can only assume he wasn't being watched or the aides would have seen him getting agitated and removed him-right? Isn't that how it is supposed to work? But if the aides don't want to be there and they don't care I guess they wouldn't be watching anyway...so I guess it makes sense. ?????:( All I know is that a child cannot learn or be taught with this kind of attitude from staff. A child should not have to listen or hear these types of remarks from the ones who are supposed to be supporting him.

Can you talk to them and see what is going on?

Please give me a call tomorrow so we can talk more about all of this.

Signed X


So....what do you all think-I TRIED to be nice, but Im highly upset abt everything......everything...LOLOLOL