Hmmmmmmmmm......

MOM-NOS posted something on her blog today that just hit me right in the gut. I think Im going to be changing a couple of things on my blog here tonight.....Its still me-but Im going to be changing a couple of things...From now on Im going to be writing about our Journey into the "Jungle" LOLOL;)

OKay....#1 is going to be Stinger-you only get one guess who this is-LOLOLOL
#2 is going to be pink Flamingo-yeah shes got the grace and beauty there,LOLOL but she is just also sooo FASCINATED to the point of driving me crazy with her"pink"
#3 is my little monkey-such a happy little guy-clowning and running ard in circles to make YOU dizzy just watching ;)
Anyway welcome to my little world of adventure :)

Parent/Teacher Conference Time once more...

Well today was Stingers conference with his teacher. We went over a couple of test scores etc-district class assessments. Stinger has improved sooo much in just a short time this year...His Math scores were unbelieveable-some he scored 100%-way above the average-shapes, sequencing, add and subtract) That sure made him proud of himself. Math was something he sooooo struggled with last year-getting so frustrated-and then giving up and not completing it. Total change this year :)But litte did we all know that he just needed a little help to get that knowlege out.....WHAT A CHANGE :)One thing that I think is interesting is that he is still insisting on using a number line and one of the goals we agreed on was that he would start to learn a counting method instead-be it hands etc, counting up from the started number etc. He seams stuck on this number line-so we are going to have to work on this.....I think its all a matter of him trusting something different and new-kwim? We just need to reinforce that it doenst change the answer-he'll still get it right ;)

Spelling and Writing we still need to work on as he is still quiet below his peers. His teacher actually defended his work on the wall saying that it didnt look like much of a sentence, but that he had done all the work himself and she was ecstatic abt it :) She said some REALLY nice things at the meeting. Stinger is sure lucky to have gotten her this year. I know I have been pretty hard on her at times, but I still feel that she is one of those teachers that you are oh so lucky to have.....

The spec ed teacher was there as well-emphasising how important it is whenever Stinger pokes or pushes-immediate timeout(we have settled on a chair instead*rolls eyes*) should be inforced, and I could tell that his regular teacher doesnt always inforce this-she stated that she hated to have Stinger missout on things in the classroom. Did I say how wonderful she is turning out to be for Stinger? LOLOLOL Then the two "talked and agreed";) how important it is for Stinger to stay in there as much as possible-LOLOLOL

She asked me if I would like a detailed report on the testing(no one has ever asked me that before)as I could see what needed to be worked on etc. I was all for that :)

So the meeting went extremelly well and I feel like she and I are totally on the same page here. She stated again how pleased she has been with Stinger-that they do have off days, but then he is right on track again-making sure his deask is straightend and tidy(WOW) and she loves having him in her class...:)

Flamingo's meeting is tomorrow and I will update on hers then......

Darned if I do...Darned if I dont.......

Okay well as most of you know I had my IEP team meeting last Monday.....I havent written abt it as I was torn all this week abt what went on and how I should proceed next. Ive been writting and getting facts and advice from everyone I can think of-and I have come to the conclusion that either of the outcomes are NOT good-in essence Im messed with no matter what I go with....

The MEETING:
Well I had my agenda-the school had theirs-as usual. My BIG issue was getting the timeout room-GONE!!!!I heard every line you could possible dream up-but my personal favorite was when the spec ed teacher said he felt he needed it for his OWN safety from Stinger!!!!OKay is it just me-or does this sound REDICULOUS!!! The ONE person on the team whom I thought was on my side-showed his true colors and I am not at ALL pleased.....Let me explain a little:
Stinger has impulse issues-a poke here, a tug of hair there. These have been a constant problem-when he is frustrated, when someone is too close to him etc. These impulse behaviors are just that-impulses-that he cant really control....and as soon as he has done the behavior they are GONE. Its not like Stinger is an aggresive child out to fight and beat up people-sheesh......and as far as I KNOW he has ONLY showed aggresion to the teachers etc-when they are"forcefully"(yes, their nice word for grabbing and making him)guiding him to the timeout room-hence if the timeout room WASNT THERE-it wouldnt be an issue. Is it just me or is this plan of "safety" purely ludicrous!!!

"We have timeout rooms in every school"-oh really then why was it last year you had to special order a window so you could see into this room for my child? oh I get it-every other school the parents dont care if their child is locked in a room and isnt being supervised, or better yet, the parents have NO IDEA-oh I see....UGH!!!!

Okay so that timeout room is getting difficult. As they seam to have every defense fo it-whether it be ludicrous or not-they are sticking to it.

Now-dont get me wrong-if a child is way out of control-is seriously hurting himself or others this might be neccesary-but a child poking someone with a weed at recess and going in there for 15 min-REDICULOUS!!! Its still in the emergency clause-so I guess this is what you would call an emergency.....???!!!!Timeout rooms ARE abused, parents arent given details, escalate the childs frustration, increase the anxiety, are a simple "get rid of the child", child learns to surpress feelings-having it turn into other coping bad behaviors:example-the bolting from last year)or worse depression...the list could go on and on abt what best pratices has to say abt it all....

I talked to them abt replacement behaviors-"dont want to" was the response-GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!NO sensory gadgets to keep him focused-as was suggested by the Occupational Therapist who tested Stinger. So basically they just want to punish the bahavior out of him-even though he cant help these impulses. They want a little robot that they can control. I asked them abt teaching him to ask for a break-"no". I asked them abt teaching him or giving him a card to ask for needed help-"no". So no replacement or alternate behaviors are to be taught to help HIM regulate.

Stinger isnt being watched at recesses-as is written in his IEP(legal document)he got plummeted repeatedly in the head with a soccer ball the other day from a 4th grader.....so I brought that up" well that was a one time incident and we ARE watching him"...oh okay-so I should just trust you all as you have proven in the past you can be trusted. "here's YOUR sign"LOLOLOL-hey I love that Jeff Foxworthy guy!LOLOL

So needless to say nothing was changed-everyone thinks everything is fine and I left pretty hot abt everything.....the behavior specialist wasnt even there-give me a break.....

I came home typed up a Letter of Understanding-basically what this is is restating everything that went on during the meeting and stating your case and what the schools case was and asking them if this was misunderstood to contact me back etc.
I also wrote up a PWR(Prior Written Notice)abt the timeout room. This SHOULD, I repeat, SHOULD be done by the school WHENEVER they deny or refuse something that pertains to your child getting a FAPE(free and appropriate eductation). They are suposed to detail their reasons, explain the testings they used,any other options discussed, why they rejected these, and all other factors that relate.

They are required to do this BY LAW-have they?-no, so I wrote this and printed this out too. The Disability Law Center told me to do this also....

So Ive got these two letters and they are sitting-LOLOLOL

I also have a no restraint and seclusion letter I found online which states you are and WILL not permit this treatment anytime or anywhere on your child. Which by the way these are all AVERSIVES-nothing positive has ever been proven by best practises to have any positive effect-especially with ASD children...and they ALL need a parents' okay...so I could just mail them this and be done with it.....

I know I will be awakening a sleeping lion and I just dont know if this will solve anything as I will have a whole new set of issues-and it could get REALLY hostile.....and I know they would try and change Baileys placement just to get rid of me and Stinger.....SOOooooooo I dont know what to do....DH says to wait and see if they do use the timeout room-as right now there is a first step that WAS added at this last meeting-a timeout in the resource classroom. and it might not be an issue this year....but my momma hunch (which is seldom wrong)says this is closer than we all want to admit.....

So I dont know-Im just darned if I do or darned if I dont....sigh.....

Im slowly going craaaazzzzyyyyyyyyy!AGH!

VENT comin' on strong...
Well I took the easy way out here.....Maybee if I vent my frustrations and feelings abt this it will just go AWAY!!!!!!!...sigh.......

Okay so littel Monkey is taking his quiet time out here with Stinger(as Stinger likes to watch a little TV before retiring to his room-its not really a quiet time now is it....well Im open for ANY suggestions here.....now we are dealing with the TWO of them-Stinger arguing that he doesnt want Monkey out here as this is HIS time-ARGH!!!

Okay-so I must tell you what the deal is with little Monkey here.....these repetative phrases.."it okay I close my eyes???!!!"I woke up bright and early at 4 AM this morning-just like I did last night and the night before, and the night before,with him crying and saying this and having a MAJOR meltdown as I wasnt there to respond to this phrase.....

Okay I didnt see this coming AT ALL-its been like this for as long as I can remember-me having to do certian things and having things just so at BEDTIME-I dealt with this with Stinger as well, so I thought it would get better???LOLOLOLand was somewhat just what I needed to do to calm him-so I did and he did-right? Well its getting worse-now its a quiet time too!!!!
This is how it goes(in case anyone wants to step into my world):

Monkey-"Goodnight Mom"
me-"Goodnight Monkey"
Monkey-"Have a goodtime on puter";)LOLOL He knows me well eh? LOLOL
me"Thank you Monkey"
Monkey-" Okay I close my eyes??!"
me-"yes Monkey, Its okay you close your eyes"
Monkey-" I love you Mom"
me-"I love you too Monkey"
Monkey-" It okay I close my eyes??"
Word for word-each and every time. And so the saga continues...after I close the door, after I go in the other room, after I go upstairs, and after I go to bed(hey I didnt say sleep did I?)....sigh....
So now its at nap(or quiet time)too....
I also forgot to prompt him to tell Daddy when he left today that(Monkey-" I have lots of firetrucks" needed to be said-so of course a meltdown and running to his room in tears-until I call Daddy and let Monkey say it yet agn.....(thsi also need to be said each and every time Dh leaves for work.

So I of course, consult the many experts of children and this is what they say:

"I have a friend who has high functioning autism and is an adult, she
says sometimes she repeats things to hear the sound of the words(she also
writes poetry and feels it is her way of communicating that works best
for her, she gets into a language flow that way). Sometimes kids repeat
things to get the same answer, because as she also says, she 'seeks
same" or predictability. These kids have so much trouble with transitions
and changes, that they seek something that will remain the same, that's
why many have repetitive behaviors, whether opening and closing things,
or repeating words and waiting for that same reassuring answer. As they
adjust to things, they may drop some questions, or not be as
anxious...just a couple reasons I have seen higher functioning kids give who can
express themselves.."

Okay so does that make me feel ANY better???????I dont think I have to answer that question........sigh....not right now anyway....sigh.....I REFUSE to think about it!!!!!!....

D-Day :)

I recieved this today through email........just incase anyone wants to understand what I was going through last year and why I was so against the time out room-that was being used 24/7......hmmmm.looks like I can FINALLY quote a case to them now. SOMEONE SOMEWHERE is FINALLY listening......:)YEAH!!!!!!!!!!:) :) :)

Court: Release names in timeout room

Published Wednesday, September 13, 2006 11:19:41 PM Central Time


By Kevin Murphy

Special to the Times

MADISON -- A federal appeals court ruled Wednesday that the
Department of Public Instruction must release the names of six unruly
special education children disciplined in Abraham Lincoln Elementary
School's controversial seclusion room to a disability rights advocacy
organization.

The Chicago-based Seventh U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals overturned a
decision by District Judge Barbara Crabb who denied a request by
Disability Rights of Wisconsin, Inc. finding that privacy laws
required the federally-mandated agency to get the children's names
from their parents or guardians.

Instead, the appeals court said that would be an undue burden on DRW,
which was established by federal law to advocate for and protect
individuals with mental illnesses or disabilities. Since both the
Department of Public Instruction and DRW are subject to the same
privacy laws, releasing the names to DRW isn't a concern, according
to the decision.

"To withhold the records in contention here is to give Š (DPI) the
last word over the abuse and neglect of the disabled or mentally ill.
This clearly defeats the purpose of the DRW and the (protect and
advocacy) statutes," according to the 19-page decision.

DRW attorney Jeffrey Spitzer-Resnick said the decision gives Crabb
discretion as to how the names of the children are to be disclosed,
including requiring DRW to keep them confidential, which Spitzer-
Resnick said the agency is required by law to do.

"We represent people with disabilities and advocate claims for people
with disabilities who are being abused. There's no question that
locking children in a room is abusive, and we have a right to that
information," he said.

School District of Monroe Superintendent Craig Jefson declined to
comment at this time, as the district received the court's decision
late last night and is still reading through it. He said the district
should have a response by Friday.

Abe Lincoln had two seclusion rooms, which were used to house
disruptive special education students for "time out" periods if their
Individual Education Programs permitted it. The one seclusion room
subject to DRW's injunction request was a five-by-nine-foot basement
room that was carpeted and locked from the outside without an
interior doorknob.

A parent complained to DRW in October 2004 about their child being
sent to the room without it being in their child's IEP. A Madison
television station then aired a program in March 2005 about the
seclusion room without naming the district.

The broadcast prompted other parents to contact DRW about the
seclusion room and since some of the children had limited verbal
skills it was difficult to determine if their child had been sent to
the room.

Responding to the broadcast and parents' complaint, the DPI
investigated Abe Lincoln and concluded that a seclusion room can be
properly used as a last resort disciplinary measure. However, after
finding that one of Abe Lincoln's rooms was used briefly when the
light was out and it lacked an interior doorknob, the district agreed
to replace the doorknob and add a larger window in the door to permit
outside monitoring of the entire room, according to the DPI's April
7, 2005 report.

With voluntary parental involvement, DRW has already negotiated
settlements with the school district for three of the children sent
to the seclusion room, said Spitzer-Resnick. As a result of the
settlements, one student was transferred to another school within the
district, staff was trained on how to avoid use of the seclusion room
and restraints and another child had their IEP rewritten to prohibit
use of the seclusion room.

A DPI spokesman said the agency hadn't seen Wednesday's appeals
decision and had no comment on it.

Spitzer-Resnick said once the DRW obtains the remaining names of the
students sent to the seclusion room, it's likely that new IEPs will
be written for them to address their education needs and allowable
disciplinary measures.

The decision comes after Monroe has addressed the seclusion room
problems at Abe Lincoln, said Spitzer-Resnick, so the impact of the
case will be felt elsewhere.

"What the decision clearly establishes is that the DPI shouldn't say
no to us anymore, nor should any school district. If they want to
litigate, they will lose," he said. --

Well...not to jinks a good thing........

Im concerned agn-Hey-WHATS NEW!!!!!!!!
Its this new teacher(okay.....I KNOW everyone adores her already..)
Its this friend that Stinger has(okay.....This is Wonderful that Stinger has a friend-I KNOW this)
Its just some things are not going as perfectly planned-LOLOLOL. Maybee Im just paranoid-as usual.
Stinger has been coming home with little things now-not all smiley faces etc-and they are at recess and lunch etc, PE etc. Ive had a talk with him to try and figure things out and honestly I dont know what to do.
Stinger was literally crying and upset abt getting a frowny face-and I was stumped.....Seams this new friend has alot of the touchy feely things Stinger was dealing with last year-trouble with peers, pinching, kicking, going back to his bullies-when he should be leaving them alone or telling the tecaher. Stinger feels that this is his best buddy and that it is HIS job to be out there ALWAYS by his side protecting him....be it maybee having to punch a kid to leave this friend alone...Stinger said numerous times he would do this....then he started to cry.:(
But anyway Stinger feels he needs to be there and teach this kid and keep him out of trouble-as he KNOWS what trouble is;)LOLOLOL, but he ends up getting caught right in the middle and of course doesnt understand that EVERYONE is watching Stinger and sees him involved-thus blaming Stinger.......I just told him that he needs to be VERY careful with choices he is making and that he needs to tell the teachers. But we all know what good that does. This friend is delayed as well so he doenst alwasy understand what peers are doing or meaning and takes things wrong I think too-just as Stinger does..
My heart is torn as we will probaly be having to go back to guided recesses(as we had last year)honestly dont ask me why we stopped. But now its going to be a REAL problem starting them agn, as he has made this STRONG attachment with this friend. So I dont know what to do. This is the 1st friendship Stinger has had with ANY peer and its not looking so good.....Stinger has done sooo well with his impulse issues and I am sooo proud of him, but this friend isnt having the same luck it seams and I dont know what to tell Stinger......
For example today-there was a kid waiting outside the lunch doors and told them that he was going to watch Stinger and this friend all recess-Stinger and this friend didnt like that they ran away then the kid chased them then they chased them etc.... and so the chasing began-and then Stinger got in trouble and recieved a frowny face:( This is what Stinger said-and hes not a lier at ALL. Thats one thing abt Stinger-he tells the truth-has never been caught not saying what really happend or anything that a typical kid does when they think they are in trouble-he comes right out and says what went on.He has given me no reason to doubt what he says when especially abt school issues-hes always been right on. So when he tells me something, and I have to pry it out of him, I sit up and take it seriously...He tells it all and says it like it is- But others dont believe him much of the time-which was the case last year-until the principle got involved-went outside and actually watched Stinger at recesses and noticed that he was indeed getting picked on like he said...sigh.....NO ONE believed us until then...
I talked with the principle abt it and he is concerned that Stinger isnt playing with any other kids etc and that they cant seam to seperate them. But if anyone knows Stinger this is not going to be an easy task if attempted and I can just see trouble.....Once he has something or someone stuck in his head, like he does with this friend-thats were he will be, thats what he will talk abt, and thats what IS important!!!-kwim? No talking him out of it just like his conversations-If its in there-thats what we talk abt etc.
Then the teacher......sigh......she has only nice things to say abt Stinger...but something just feels off. I talked to the spec ed teacher abt why the board wasnt being used(its in his IEP)Its a transition board to help him visually see what is coming next so he isnt anxious or worried abt things etc. He especially needs this at transition times as he gets very nervous-not wanting to go into the classroom etc-if he hasnt been prepared each and every time. The teacher has a "class" schedule but it doesnt help Stinger as he cant understand the words on it!!!????I even brought the board up at this last IEP meeting!!!!!So the speced teacher said he would talk to the teacher and now they have put pictures up by the words???-so still no board!!!!!When Stinger gets pulled out of class for his things speech etc-how is THIS schedule going to help him????Stingers teacher is also not wanting to disrupt HER schedule for hi social scripts(stating at the IEP meeting that "OH!He cant miss calendar time!!!" UGH...and then the sped teacher walking on tip toes ard this-not wanting to offend her.....he stated that the Social Scripts(they are stories set up just for Stinger that have certian situations on them-so he can see actual events taking place and are helping him know what to do when certian situations like that come up that he has trouble reacting to etc) are very important and that he likes to start the day off with them with Stinger so he can think abt them first thing-I am in total aggreement with this.....but then the teacher has her own schedule that cant be changed???
Little things like that are bugging me-I REALLY have no idea what is going on in that classroom and Stinger says he hardly sees his sped teacher at all anymore. How is that possible when he is suppoed to go to reading with him, writing and social scripts etc EACH day???? He is also suposed to coem into teh calls and help Stinger at Math time-So something is up.....
The teacher sent home Stingers spelling words and its words like amphibian etc????(Stinger had no idea what that even was)with no directions etc-Stinger had no clue what he was supposed to do with them-neither did I-so I had to call her and tell her that Stinger has a hard time remembering or telling me directions and that any info that needs to be conveyed back out to parents-no matter how little or big it is- needs to be written down????I still dont know if they are having a test on Friday-I HOPE not!!!!Since nothing was sent home abt it. But I dont think she is understanding how these little things are BIG things to Stinger and he needs help here.... I honestly dont think she has even seen the IEP-or why would she not know these things????
I dont know-its just bugging me is all.....I see this teacher and I know she is a good teacher. She is VERY structured and Stinger needed this,she adores him and all, was hand picked for him as were the peers in his class...but...its like she has her little ducks and doesnt want them out of order or out of HER line so to speak-kwim? And that is going to catch up with Stinger sooner or later.....I think hes been dealing with it REALLY well...but its going to catch up to them all I think as they arent supplying his proper supports as they should be.I just dont undersatnd thsi at all -and I feel like im a nagging parent here.....
But Ive got a meeting on the 19th-so hopefully we can get it all out then????
So the story begins yet agn........

Labor Day...

Well I know it was Monday-Im sooo slow.
So it was decided to try a Movie....:)I was voting to go to Willard Lake, but was highly outvoted when Dh mentioned a "movie anyone??" LOLOLOL.How do you compete with that!!!!! So Movie it was.....
This was little Monkeys first movie and our families first movie all together. Monkey was sooo funny-he was sooo excited, yet when asked abt it-he had NO IDEA! LOLOLOLOL Too funny;)Stinger and Flamingo have both been before with either dh and I or Papa and Nana-so they knew what to expect and were just as excited:)
We decided to see 'Cars'. Something everyone would enjoy. We had previously thought abt Monster House-but it got terrible reviews by parents-so that was out....
So we load up the kids with each their own propcorn/drink/candy(you know those combo meal things)Monkey boy was just beside himself and I think he had finished his popcorn before we even went in to the theatre-LOLOLOL. But not to worry-he stil had his candy and drink;)LOLOLOLWhew!;)Stinger and Flamingo did just fine carrying all their goodies and wouldnt think about having any help-lest they somehow loose one of the yummy items-LOLOL
So we all sat down to enjoy a movie for the first time EVER-and guess what......we all did!!!!!!It was one word and one word only-blissful. Okay I know what you are saying -how can a Cars movie with a bunch of screaming kids ard and a loud car screeching be anything "blissful"???But thats just it-I sat down looked ard-other parents looked frazzled, other children looked cranky and you could hear it.LOLOL Then I looked at our kids-eyes glued to the screen, smiles plastered from ear to ear on each face = blissful. Our little family each one in a total happy place.Its as if time wa sstanding still and we were all alone in their-kwim?
I knwo ist hard to understand. But when you have to think abt taking 3 kids with you wherever you go-these things all way out and have to be considerd. A 4,6,and 7yr old and the 4 yr old constantly a little monkey with ants in his pants, and Stinger a complete mystery how he will react to things-places and events are NEVER taken lightly-LOLOLOL. And WHEN they are a success-it is something to be celebrated and CONTINUED!!!!LOLOL
So I think we have decided to make this a monthly "family thing" it just went over soooo well.
We stopped at Sonic on teh way home and got a bite to eat-the kids were just so goofy-not touching anything, totally in the off zoning out etc-I guess the movie wore them out or they were just plum stuffed. They all nodded off in the car on the drive back home.
A great Labor Day?? I thought so........

A GREAT Week!!!!!! :)

Well we all survived here this week :)
Stinger has been getting nothing but good reports from everyone. He even got a post card from the teacher today in the mail telling him how proud she is to have him in her class and what a great job he is doing. I have seen a couple worksheets come home this week and I seriously cannot believe the change in concentration he is having. He finished two sides of a math worksheet(in one day!!!!) and only missed 1 problem. Last year he would get sooo frustrated that he could barely finish one side page......then he was throwing the paper and getting just so frustrated. He was so proud of himself when he was showing me his math pages-so-a total change this week...Also he showed me a picture he had colored in-was beautifully done. He had also written a STORY?????and pasted together a sunflower at school(I havent seen this one yet) but the teacher wrote a note home saying that Stingers picture was so well done and that he is quiet the artist!!!!!!!He had no patience fro drawing ANYTHING last year.....I have to keep pinching myself lately.......but it is wonderful seeing him work so hard and be proud of this work he is being able to do now:)THIS has been REALLY wonderful!!!!!!!!HE has been playing with a kid from 1st grade at recess-they are like two pees in a pod these days:)
Pink Flamingo has just been loving school-she comes home all smiles and loves riding the bus(she likes going down the steps-LOLOLOL;))She has been making fiends-everyday she tells me that she made some more-LOLOLOL-like that will surprise you??!!LOLOLOL She is doing really well and is just so happy. She has almost got writing her name down-this is too funny-she has to make it all pretty with curls on the "P"-LOLOLOL, she is also learning the pledge and almost has this down too:)Its very cute listening to that!
Little Monkey has a cold-then Flamingo has it, now Stinger has it too. Im just waiting for DH to catch it-he seams to catch everything they get-I dont-lucky me-;) LOLOLOL But Monkey has been rather moody lately and Flamingo too when she comes home from school-I try and put her down for a quite time, but she just wants to fall asleep on the couch. I think she's been working really hard.Everyone has been working really hard thsi week-Im a proud Momma Bear-yet AGAIN! :)
So its been a WONDERFUL week!Im praying for MANY, MANY more :)