This was on Lisa's blog today. (she's on one of my favorites list links)
She lives a town over from us.
It made my eyes water at how cruel people can be and how strong a woman Lisa is-she is a wonderful Mother to her son-I love reading her blog. Her words ALWAYS touch me so deep-she is an inspiring woman-whom I so greatly adore and look up to. She has gone through alot with the P. schools as well-and I have come to retreat in her arms on a couple of occasions. As you read this excerpt from her blog-you will understand why she is such an inspiration to me. She lifts you up with her words and thoughts.
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"How dare you stand there before me in your dark blue conservative suit, like you are a normal person.
How dare, you so easily say the words that come out of your mouth, soft and pleasant, but dripping with judgements, in a trial you know nothing about?
How can you ... speak and say, such unspeakable things to me? How can you think them?I stand here, staring at you. S'mee told me, I could throw plates, I can picture myself, throwing them at your head.
I wonder if you know... if you have any idea, how hurtful your words are? I wonder, who else have you said them too?How can you suggest, that medically life saving, technology shouldn't be used? How can you ask me, if I wish I had aborted my child? How can you say horrible things?How do you look at yourself in the mirror? How can you call yourself a man of God?
How can you pretend to even be human?My heart is beating a million beats a minute. I can't breath.A vain of hate inside of me, is curdling, and I feel hot. Why do I think there is a place in my soul that won't ever recover?I turn to leave. The words I want to spew at you... on the tip of my tongue. I want to hit you.In the middle of your thoughtless, horrific tirade of the injustices of life, as you list my childs fault's and suggest that God obviously didn't want him to live... and asking me why I chose to fight that..
.I turn back around and face you...
In mid sentence I take a step forward...
You back up.. like the yellow bellied toad that you are...
though you stand a foot in height above me...
you take a step back..
and I get closer.. and you shut up.
(Finally)And I don't say anything... I want to.
I don't scream the words of hate that are inside my heart. I can't force them..
I say, "I'm sorry."
Deep, long drawn in breath.
I stare right into your eyes...
"I am sorry, that you will never feel Heaven in your home. I'm sorry that you will never, ever understand the eternal beauty that exists in mine. You will never ever EVER, love your children, the way I love mine. You will never, understand that a perfect life, is really, no life at all."
As I turned to walk away, I could feel the sweet enveloping peace fill me. The kind that comes after a long day of hard work, where you know you've been doing, what needs to be done. The kind, you feel when you enter a church . The sweet, delicious feeling of our Savior walking beside me.The horrible darkness, gone.. and the peace returned.I have this tunnel vision, where I can glance down the road.
I see my beloved childhood friend, Yolanda, a black, beautiful young kindergartener who wore the same dress as I did, the first day of school, which of course instantly bonded us... and I wonder? Has she felt this way? Has someone ever in her lifetime, made her feel small and weak, because of her skin tone? Or what about Mrs. Fripp, who lives in the corner house, alone, elderly with no one to help her out, much. Has she felt discrimination? Has anyone thought of her as ailing and not useful?
Just as this Mister, has never understood, love, sacrifice, eternal prospectives, and real joy, I've never, never felt ... hated, just for being who I am. Rather than for something I had done. Or even believed in.I truly do feel for him. The blinders he has chosen to wear, will be his fall from grace. Whether it happens slowly, or quickly, privately or where all that know him can see, his life, something, someday ... will shake him.. and all that he knows... and he... will remember, our conversation. And he'll *get* it-
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-----You are the woman we strive to be Lisa-thank you for your encouragement, wisdom and love{{HUGS}}
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