Eigh-yi-yi.........ugh........
Well its Saturday-I think I've re-grouped enough from Friday to go into it...LOLOLOL. So...........
Friday was testing-IOWA testing-3rd, 5th and 8th graders.....and yes-since we are doing K12 homeschooling this is mandatory state testing we are required to take. And yes-I was a bundle of nerves not expecting anything good from it at all.....
We get there-Stinger and I- to Brigham abt 15 minutes early. Stinger is turning into a statue-getting very uncomforteable-hands to his side, sullen look on his face-Nervous doesnt quiet describe it-but basically thats what was happening. We go to the room where there are abt 8 kids in the room-all 3rd graders-no one Stinger has seen before and Stinger REFUSES to go in. Starts walking back down the hallway.
Now mind you-I had thoroughly talked abt this whole situation before hand, went through it step by step. What things would be like, what things would look like, when he would be done, what the teacher would be saying, what the kids would be doing-which was a MAJOR concern of his.
But we both go to the door and immediately Stinger backs up and freezes in his tracks and wont go in. He doesnt like that the kids are looking at him, he doesnt want them to look up at him when he walks in. Now how am I supposed to stop this from happening?????He thinks I can....So there we are its 9 and its time to start the testing and Stinger isnt in the classroom yet.
I walk up to one of the aides there and tell her our situation-which is NOT what I had been planning on, but I had no idea what to do. She calls the Principle and says " we have a child who is refusing to go in" okay can you say ugh.....LOLOLOL, then she tells me that the principle( whom I knowand have talked with numerous times) has granted ME permission to go into the classroom. Parents arent usually allowed to go into the room where the students are testing. So we tell Stinger-still a " No" ...sigh....okay. Plan B: We show him the desk right by the door where he can sit all by himself-we can put up a folder so the other kids cant see him-still a " no"......okay......this negotiating takes abt till 9:35.....Stinger is crying, and starting to get angry and frustrated....and Im starting to get a little worried so..... Plan C: Call Mrs C( shes our in home behavior helper who I am supposed to call if there are any problems anytime) she tells me what needs to happen. Basically it involves giving him a choice , counting to 5, then either he can make a choice or I can get help and make it for him-which means forcing him in there. She tells me she is going to call his therapist and see if he can meet us there.
"Okay"-I say and hang up. I run through this senario in my mind and its not looking pretty-we do NOT want a scene. So I take Stinger down a hallway and get down and talk to him. I tell him what the choices are and NOT taking the test is NOT a choice -so he needs to think abt what choice will get more attention from the other kids. Him going in and sitting down quitely with a folder and me in there-or me having to hold his hand and take him in there making noises and complaining. I was grasping at straws here..but I did NOT want anyone forcing him-touching him to get him in there-so I was saying anything.... I told him I knew it was scary, but that he COULD do this. That he could make the better choice and that no one would notice him or keep looking at him-they were all nervous too and scared just like him. He takes abt 15 minutes to think abt it and then says " oh all right".....WHOOT! *sigh of relief* So I quickly( dont want Stinger to change his mind) inform everyone quitely that we are good to go. Its now 10:00.
After he got in there with his wall of boxes and folders put up for him he did beautifully-it was just a matter of getting him in that silly room of kids. So I call back Mrs C. and tell her I got him in there;)thank goodness....
So...what did I learn from this...its the little things that need to be planned, gone over, understood, explained thoroughly. We didnt go over getting into the room because it wasnt a concern I thought-or wasnt a concern I would have had. I forgot to look at things from Stingers perspective. But its these little things that we dont see or notice that are BIGGIES to him. The test taking wasnt hard for him-it was getting into the room. I seam to forget that typical concerns are never his top concerns....its the same with his sensory things or getting over stimulated-not biggies to us, we dont even think abt them-but they can totally turn his day upside down and all around.
He did so well in the room-I was very proud of him. The teacher in there was so nice-but many things Im sure just flew by him as she talked so fast. And many things were not at his level. But he did soooo well in there. So we ended on a VERY good note-rough start, but strong finish. Good enough for me any day-eh?
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