By Betty Statnick
HSLDA Special Needs Coordinator
It is relatively easy for any of us to fall prey to discouragement. I confess that it is for me, and so many of you call and tell me that discouragement tries to overtake you, too. You explain that you are wrestling with such issues as feelings of inadequacy, unattained goals, and experiences of failure.
In a sense, this newsletter is my own testimony. So, I am speaking from personal experience. I refer to specific Bible references because it is those promises and principles which have come alive to me and lifted me out of the pit of discouragement. Perhaps some of my readers are not Christians. My desire is that all of you who read this will find at least one nugget of help you can cling to from this newsletter. God does welcome and respond to any of us who call out to Him for wisdom.
Feelings of Inadequacy
James 1:5—“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God Who gives to all men liberally and without reproach, and it will be given him.”
Philippians 4:13—“I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” An unknown author has given this rendition of that verse: “I am strong for all things through Him Who infuses a dynamo in me.” I like having His motor in me, don’t you?
For our part in addressing those feelings of inadequacy, we ask Him to direct us in finding needed resources—health-wise, consultant-wise, or otherwise. Sometimes, you will find that you really are on the right track but that just a little different twist to what you have been doing makes “all the difference in the world.” He may lead you to one of HSLDA’s three special needs coordinators. Each of us has a master’s degree in education, plus other specialized training and experience, and we are here to share our knowledge and experience with you.
Unattained Goals
There are usually many important things vying daily for our attention, and there never seems to be enough time for us to accomplish all that we set out to do. However, teaching and working with just one child who has special needs may require larger chunks of time than it takes to teach two or more children who do not have special needs. (Did I mention that my husband has auditory processing disorder and hearing impairment, with the receptive and expressive language difficulties that accompany those things?) Like you, I “fall into bed at night” with many things not yet crossed off my “To-do list.”
In dispensing His wisdom, the Lord may show you some creative ways to combine lessons (I love to help callers with that kind of thing.). In order to free up some more of your time to work with your child who has special needs, He may show you ways you can utilize an older child to help teach a younger sibling. He may also confirm to you that you really are making excessive demands on yourself. He may whisper that you are overly concerned about the perceptions that others seem to have of you. On the other hand, you may sense that some changes in your teaching routine are necessary, because “same-old, same-old” just isn’t working. Therefore, you do want a little help for “kicking your skills up a notch.” (This becomes of special concern when you realize that we have already come to the midpoint of the school year.)
All three of us HSLDA special needs coordinators may have some insights for helping you implement your ideas. Another great source of encouragement, especially when you are thinking about your unattained goals, is the book Things We Wish We’d Known by Diana Waring and other veteran homeschool moms. These moms look back on their homeschooling experiences and tell what they would do differently if they could start over again. That book definitely contains things applicable to parents who teach their children with special needs. (In my judgment, this book could be filed under “Fret Not and Sleep Well.”)
Experiences of Failure
The Lord already knows that each of us has failed in some realm. While not all failure can be classified as sin, 1 John 1:9 does tell us that we are to take God’s side against ourselves in the matter of sin: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The word “confess” in the original language of the New Testament (Greek) means to speak the same thing about our sin that God speaks about it. So, God doesn’t leave us “wiggle room” about our sin.
Sometimes you parents have told me that “until you wised up” you had granted your children with special needs (to their eventual harm) “wiggle room” about their sin. Because you love your children, you didn’t “write them off” forever for their “infractions.” In like manner, God does forgive and restore His children who heed 1 John 1:9. Our enemy would have us believe that we are forever doomed by the sin we have already confessed. We must remember that we are wrestling not just with human beings but also with principalities and powers and the rulers of the darkness of this age. Therefore, we must always wear the whole (entire) armor of God in this battle. See Ephesians 6: 10–18.
I am fond of a quote by an unknown author: “Failure is not final; it is merely the opportunity to start over again wiser than before.” I can attest to the fact that learning from my own failures has provided me platforms to share “en-couraging” words with others who have been “dis-couraged.” Look out for opportunities for God to use you in that way, also. He doesn’t waste a thing!
The experiences of many others have been recorded in books so that we can see how they overcame “dis-couragement.” These true stories tell how God supplied their every need in spite of their feelings of inadequacy, unmet goals and experiences of failures. God did that when they swapped their every inadequacy for His sufficiency. Here are the names of some of those many Christians whose biographies I have read to my own children and students. Look for the youth versions of these books at Christian bookstores and YWAM Publishers.
- Brother Andrew
- Gladys Aylward
- Amy Carmichael
- Ben Carson, M.D.
- George Washington Carver
- Jim Elliot
- David Livingston
- George Mueller
- Hudson Taylor
1 Samuel 30:6—“Now David was greatly distressed…but David encouraged himself in the Lord.”
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