"Sizzle Life" article

Wow! This was a great find this morning-totally reminding me of things I fall to short on ...frequently....... and need to be reminded of....frequently....LOLOLOL
Anyway-LOVED it!!!!



We received a letter from a mom who finds herself calling out her child's name frequently....VERY frequently, and she's wondering about how to break the cycle. Take a look.

My poor eHere are a couple of thoughts in response.

CORRECTION, BY ANY OTHER NAME, WOULD SMELL AS SWEET
He may hear "Calm down Jason" so much that it has become like wall paper, just fading into the background, no longer even penetrating his brain. So are there other ways to say the same thing? What if there were code words created between you that shared the same meaning?
Instead of "Calm Down Jason", what if he heard

• The Cavalry's Coming...or
• The wind is picking up...or
• Threat level....now at orange" or...my favorite pick
• Mommy will soon need her medication

Doing this keep things light and fun, but also, when our in public, it doesn't make it so obvious that he's being corrected.

CHOOSE YOUR MOMENTS OF CALM
I know that we have to keep these kids a bit more tightly reined in because if they cross a line of excitability, anything can happen. And it usually does. So we try to keep them on a calmer plane, not just because it is more pleasant for us, but because it is better, and safer for them (and often, others as well). All that said, it would still be worth asking yourself WHY you are asking him to be calm. If it is necessary in order for him to do the work at hand or for protection against possible repercussions, then by all means, direct him to be calm. But if possible, there may be times when it's worth allowing him NOT to be still and calm. . If the pencil tapping is allowing him to vent that pent up energy (think perpetually stretched rubberband again) in a non-destructive way, then try letting it pass.

CHOOSE YOUR OWN FORM OF FIDGET
These kids move a lot. Not because they just like to, but because they need to. Not only does it vent off excess energy, it's part of HOW they process information. If you ask them to learn AND be perfectly still, you would never achieve success. They cannot process without movement of some sort. Owning the fact that they need to move is essential. But THEN, choosing HOW they move will greatly improve your world. If you leave it up to them to choose the movement, they'll end up doing something really annoying or even destructive. More than once my daughter has mindlessly dug holes into the wood of her desk or the table with whatever instrument is handy. (I won't be investing in good furniture till she's a junior in college). So you must choose the motion.

So....what should you choose for them to do?

GREAT QUESTION! So great in fact, that I've decided to forego discussing it here, and instead, to go into in depth over the next two weeks, sharing new ideas and revisiting old ones on how to put motion into learning. There's just too much to put into one email. As for now, consider this a little advertisement. :-)

Lastly...

BALANCE OUT THE REPRIMANDS
These children really DO require more corrections than other children. They are constantly failing to notice things that are essential to their work, or their activities, sometimes even their survival. "Son, can we now agree that trying to shimmy down the laundry chute is a bad idea?" Other children need correction too, but at a seemingly lessened rate. Why is this? Well, for one thing, Sizzlers have a greater volume of activities. If a typical child, does 10 things an hour, only one of which requires correction, you can assume that your Sizzler, will need correction 10 times in that same hour. But this is because Buzz has done 100 thing to Charity's 10. The volume of activity is simply greater. Thus, even at the same rate of infraction, they will still need far more correction.

BUT also, let's be honest here. Sizzlers not only do more things, they do more risky things, things that other kids wouldn't even consider. We will never find Charity on the roof. Nor will Peace roll the baby down the hall because she wanted to follow your clear instruction NOT to carry the baby anywhere.

All that being said, you WILL find yourself calling out the name of this child more frequently. It cannot be completely avoided. But what you can do is make a point of also calling out his name in praise, in encouragement, and in support. It will take an effort, because you are already tired from the corrections. But the effort is essential if he is to maintain the self-confidence to continue trying.

How many times can you hear your name called out in correction before you come to believe you're defective?
Imagine that at every staff meeting at your work or every committee meeting you ever attended, you heard your work corrected at 10 times the rate of others.
-- How long would your confidence remain?
-- How long before you would feel your contribution wasn't worth it?
-- How long before you'd just quit trying?

Acknowledge the real struggles your child faces. Show compassion toward the frustration. And then remind him of the good side to that intensity, the positive result that can be produced from so much energy, the vast number of inventions that emerged from minds that think outside of the box, and the delight in not being dull, typical or usual. Lastly, regularly remind your child that God always has a plan for good, amazing plans that we would never have predicted. Given any combination of things that WE would consider to be lost causes, God can take and make something breathtakingly beautiful. We are his palate of artistic expression.

Carol Barnier
From your friends at Sizzle Bop!