Bitter Sweet....

Okay-Im a muck of emotion tonight.

Just put the kiddoes all to bed and Im feeling sad.....worried....a little tich tiny bit of giddy....wondering what in the world.....wondering about tomorrow..worrying about tomorrow(Stinger)...what the heck am I going to do each and every day in an empty house...

Dh and I were just talking about it-and NEVER-I mean never, has there been an emptyness here with me...:( Making me melancholy.... thinking about turning back the clock...now knowing how it feels when Id hear other moms talk abt "all the kids away at school"...and remembering that I was counting the days...sigh........:( LOLOL

Ok-so Im THAT mom now....and just kinda feel blindsided abt how my life isnt going to be the same anymore...LOLOL-listen to me-blubbering on and on-feeling so sorry for myself...but seriously-MOM-you know how this feels...what the heck did you do with yourself???

Ive put in for every job out there beside McD's-which I refuse to work at again....yeah.... sooo not going there and reliving that nightmare...LOLOL, but NO calls so far...

Get this: I actually put in for a Police officer 1 job-LOLOLOL, and inside Im really hoping I get it....they said they wanted 6 months experiance thats it-so Coast Guard and all that qualifies-doesnt it...but I havent done PT academy-but they said it wasnt required...so I dont know......
I put in for a jailer job( a LONG time ago...) and passed the PT academy and everything-but didnt get the job as I had no military experiance and other applicants did back then they said-so I guess I might get it...we shall see...thats originally why I joined the Coast Guard as I was so mad abt not getting the jailer job..and doing all that hard work for nothing...LOLOL but Im alot older now...so I dont know how Id do..LOLOL

Anywho....just somethings Im looking into...

Flamingo and Monkey Boy are rareing to go tomorrow..LOLOL.Stinger I think is getting a bit nervous now...always asking me how long he has actually been out of "real" school...LOLOLOL, hes excited though-
Mrs. D(his teacher) was at the fair on Sat-and she talked with him and got him all excited as hes been talking about alot of fun stuff planned that they talked abt...and hes got this HUGE grin on his face when hes talking about it-its so cute and makes me soo happy:)My tears are tears of joy-for sure.

I feel so blessed and watched over -having this opportunity open up for him like this-its perfect!! THKS Mrs. D!!!!!!!!! makes me once again hang my head in shame questioning the Lord... thinking I am walking all alone...when I know Ive got His hands over my whole family...protecting...watching and caring...always....

I hope every one of the kiddoes has a GREAT day tom-Ill be thinking about them ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL DAY...LOLOLOL..ACK!LOLOLOL

Ill update for sure once they all have come home and given me the scoop:)