Darned if I do...Darned if I dont.......

Okay well as most of you know I had my IEP team meeting last Monday.....I havent written abt it as I was torn all this week abt what went on and how I should proceed next. Ive been writting and getting facts and advice from everyone I can think of-and I have come to the conclusion that either of the outcomes are NOT good-in essence Im messed with no matter what I go with....

The MEETING:
Well I had my agenda-the school had theirs-as usual. My BIG issue was getting the timeout room-GONE!!!!I heard every line you could possible dream up-but my personal favorite was when the spec ed teacher said he felt he needed it for his OWN safety from Stinger!!!!OKay is it just me-or does this sound REDICULOUS!!! The ONE person on the team whom I thought was on my side-showed his true colors and I am not at ALL pleased.....Let me explain a little:
Stinger has impulse issues-a poke here, a tug of hair there. These have been a constant problem-when he is frustrated, when someone is too close to him etc. These impulse behaviors are just that-impulses-that he cant really control....and as soon as he has done the behavior they are GONE. Its not like Stinger is an aggresive child out to fight and beat up people-sheesh......and as far as I KNOW he has ONLY showed aggresion to the teachers etc-when they are"forcefully"(yes, their nice word for grabbing and making him)guiding him to the timeout room-hence if the timeout room WASNT THERE-it wouldnt be an issue. Is it just me or is this plan of "safety" purely ludicrous!!!

"We have timeout rooms in every school"-oh really then why was it last year you had to special order a window so you could see into this room for my child? oh I get it-every other school the parents dont care if their child is locked in a room and isnt being supervised, or better yet, the parents have NO IDEA-oh I see....UGH!!!!

Okay so that timeout room is getting difficult. As they seam to have every defense fo it-whether it be ludicrous or not-they are sticking to it.

Now-dont get me wrong-if a child is way out of control-is seriously hurting himself or others this might be neccesary-but a child poking someone with a weed at recess and going in there for 15 min-REDICULOUS!!! Its still in the emergency clause-so I guess this is what you would call an emergency.....???!!!!Timeout rooms ARE abused, parents arent given details, escalate the childs frustration, increase the anxiety, are a simple "get rid of the child", child learns to surpress feelings-having it turn into other coping bad behaviors:example-the bolting from last year)or worse depression...the list could go on and on abt what best pratices has to say abt it all....

I talked to them abt replacement behaviors-"dont want to" was the response-GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!NO sensory gadgets to keep him focused-as was suggested by the Occupational Therapist who tested Stinger. So basically they just want to punish the bahavior out of him-even though he cant help these impulses. They want a little robot that they can control. I asked them abt teaching him to ask for a break-"no". I asked them abt teaching him or giving him a card to ask for needed help-"no". So no replacement or alternate behaviors are to be taught to help HIM regulate.

Stinger isnt being watched at recesses-as is written in his IEP(legal document)he got plummeted repeatedly in the head with a soccer ball the other day from a 4th grader.....so I brought that up" well that was a one time incident and we ARE watching him"...oh okay-so I should just trust you all as you have proven in the past you can be trusted. "here's YOUR sign"LOLOLOL-hey I love that Jeff Foxworthy guy!LOLOL

So needless to say nothing was changed-everyone thinks everything is fine and I left pretty hot abt everything.....the behavior specialist wasnt even there-give me a break.....

I came home typed up a Letter of Understanding-basically what this is is restating everything that went on during the meeting and stating your case and what the schools case was and asking them if this was misunderstood to contact me back etc.
I also wrote up a PWR(Prior Written Notice)abt the timeout room. This SHOULD, I repeat, SHOULD be done by the school WHENEVER they deny or refuse something that pertains to your child getting a FAPE(free and appropriate eductation). They are suposed to detail their reasons, explain the testings they used,any other options discussed, why they rejected these, and all other factors that relate.

They are required to do this BY LAW-have they?-no, so I wrote this and printed this out too. The Disability Law Center told me to do this also....

So Ive got these two letters and they are sitting-LOLOLOL

I also have a no restraint and seclusion letter I found online which states you are and WILL not permit this treatment anytime or anywhere on your child. Which by the way these are all AVERSIVES-nothing positive has ever been proven by best practises to have any positive effect-especially with ASD children...and they ALL need a parents' okay...so I could just mail them this and be done with it.....

I know I will be awakening a sleeping lion and I just dont know if this will solve anything as I will have a whole new set of issues-and it could get REALLY hostile.....and I know they would try and change Baileys placement just to get rid of me and Stinger.....SOOooooooo I dont know what to do....DH says to wait and see if they do use the timeout room-as right now there is a first step that WAS added at this last meeting-a timeout in the resource classroom. and it might not be an issue this year....but my momma hunch (which is seldom wrong)says this is closer than we all want to admit.....

So I dont know-Im just darned if I do or darned if I dont....sigh.....