Doc apts ..yeah......

Well bummer of bummers........seams the new doc I followed from M Health to Regional is now not taking Medicaid......so Ill have to find yet another doc if we choose to go that route-or stay with him and pay out of pocket........hmmmmmmm...:(

Hes REALLY nice and totally seams to mesh with Stinger and myself. I told him about all the problems we seam to be having at school and he agreed with me in that they are treating him just as a behavior problem and not seeing its far more complex than that. Typical behaviors will respond to their behavior modifications-kids like Stinger-wont. He said that he imagines Stingers withdrawal is worsening as they aren't taking the time to TEACH him......

He also told me that when Stinger is already escalated and they put their hands on him-its just going to get out of control...which is what we have been seeing. He said this is VERY typical behavior when rigid routines in Stingers mind have been changed or compromised and he is once agn put in a situation where he has no other choice but to fall back on what has worked or what has been done in the past......he said this wont change until they learn to respond to him differently.....sigh....yeah I don't see that happening any time soon.....:(

The school tells me Stinger is just being defiant and that he is testing them....that they have to break him. Doc said this is imply not the case-that it might look like testing, it might look like manipulation, but its not. Hes responding out of not correlating consequences with his actions and that that is why typical punishments wont work no matter how many times they are tried.

Ross Greene(the Explosive Child) says that "kids will behave if they CAN" its not that they don't want to. Its that they lack the skills to do so......So what looks like ODD(oppositional) behavior isn't-its a lack of skill-which needs to be thought abt, figured out, and taught.

I told him I was reading this book and trying to implement it at home:
You have 3 baskets:
A basket-demands example-Pick up your room now, etc
B basket- both child needs and parents needs are recognised, feelings are shared, and solutions are thought of together that both parenst and child are satisfied with
C basket-things you are going to let slide until you get a handle on things in basket B(priority things , or constant struggle big things etc)

I told him this rage at school is something I haven't seen in Stinger since he was 2, and that the school says they just put more demands on him there than I do. He said this is probably true. He said I probably have set it up different and its not a reality home-hence fewer problems....LOLOLOL .....yeah I think I have probably done this....but he said its what needs to be done -you pick your battles, you communicate, find out what ticks him off, and accommodate etcor your home will be a nightmare day after day..and he thought the book was great:)He told me to talk to the school abt implementing it...LOLOL, yeah.......

We are trying some other things as well-doc said it would make it like a duck to water-letting things slide off his back, and not get too agitated when someone touches him, or gets in his space-he'll be more open about it instead of scratching etc.....so well see.....agn he reassured me that this reaction was typical of an ASD child.....So we will see.....

This doc actually mentioned homeschooling, or The private schools-which are too far away. But I abt fell off the chair when he mentioned homeschooling-I have never heard it being suggested by a DOC before?????But it was nice-a change and a good chance to see how he truly thinks-I like it :)Most docs are so closed up abt it, saying they need to be taught social skills, but he said I was and could do it just as well :) WOW :)

Basically everything I have been saying he said right back to me. It was nice to be listened to and agreed with and understood :) I really like him, and Stinger actually looks at him :)Which is always a good sign.....Ill Be sad if we end up leaving him :( But he did give us a referral for someone if we do end up having to see someone else...
It was good apt :)But as my luck-probably cant keep him :(

Stinger and Flamingo are both miserable-they've both got coughs and icky noses :( Both not sleeping very well, both end up in our room at night....I hope the weather gets a grip here. It was 61 yesterday and it snowed today:(
Guess we are lucky our whole family isn't sick with the weather being so messed up. My daffodils are coming up-today they are covered with snow-LOLOLOL;)Crazy-eh?