The Autism Paradox :)

The Autism Paradox

1.It's easy to recite an entire book but difficult to make up a story

2.It's easy to line up toys but difficult to stay in line

3.It makes perfect sense to climb on the sofa but little sense to sit on it

4.Memorizing the Presidents in order - 10 minutes. Packing a school bag - 10 hours

5.Family pictures on the wall are boring but that speck of dust next to it, now that's fascinating!

6.Talking about weather patterns - piece of cake. Talking about my day… impossible!

7.Ability to focus on spinning objects - timeless, ability to focus on homework - 3 seconds

8.Being called by name, can't hear it. Some owl hooting in the distance - clear as a bell

9.How to operate the remote control - zero instruction. How to button up pants - intensive instruction

10.Navigating social rules - poorly skilled, Navigating from the back seat of the car - highly skilled


:)

Schools Just Ard the Corner...Maybee???LOLOLOL

Well surprise...surprise-I STILL dont have materials for Stinger. 3subjects are incomplete, but the materials are in Logan-so should be getting some on Monday or Tuesday..sigh.....yes, my fault-for getting my act together so late in the game.....
Ive been going over soem of the lesson plans and it looks like sooo much fun-work....but FUN! Still havent come up with a schedule but hers what Im thinking so far:

Schedule
- breakfast-then school starts at 8
1. Bible devotions-coloring -maybee during breakfast
2.Math(first thing as its sooo frustrating for Stinger-hopefully we can change this,- and hes at his best in the Morning)
-break/math games
3. phonics /Language-(go over story -night before)
-break/gym with Dad

LUNCH break/outside play

5. Science and nature notebook/History(switch every other day)
-break
6. Music/Art(switch every other day)
- break-snack
4. Speech-learning games, conversations/ life skills(switch every other day)

As you can see our mornings are going to be harder-but I want our afternoons to be something he can look forward to-fun subjects etc-more relaxed, etc. Hes more open to learning in the morning too-which should work well how I have it I guess...


Its going to be very relaxed all day-I want to make it as least stressful as I can-I want to make SURE he understands that hes not going to have to sit in his seat all day or else -etc.-kwim? We will probably keep to the same hours as Flamingo is at school.

Im getting SOOO excited, and Im sooo frustrated that his materials arent here yet!!!!!:( Hes wanting school to start tomorrow-same as Flamingo-so we will see I guess-I guess we could go over expectations, routines etc-things to prepare him for, speech and life-skills, supplies for school etc-maybee we will do that until his stuff comes hed enjoy that I think....

Flamingo is sooo excited abt going back to school :) She cant stop talking about everything and abt all day school.....:(which is good I guess-LOLOLOL She has already gotten her school box together and has decorated it all pretty with stickers-LOLOLOL

Monkey boy is excited too-I bought the same school supplies for everyone-and he is all excited abt starting with Stinger :) He will have basically the same schedule as Stinger-yet relaxed work etc-but we will be teaching the same subjects at the same time etc-which will work well I think.....

I still have to laminate a couple of things-calendar, weather sheets. I need to get that box divider cut out for the kitchen table.

I found some really cool worksheets that you punch out and then when you get done punching(complete) then it signals break time etc. I think this will work well for Stinger so he knows what he needs to complete and what comes next.

So Ive still got some work and prep to do...but its all so much fun!!!!:)

Tomorrow Ill be going with Flamingo to breakfast and then taking her to her class. Im sure Ill be again having to remind her to say goodbye to me.....sigh...LOLOLOL. Im excited for her though :)

Tonight we have a picnic to go to, so I need to go and get things ready.

Hope everyone has a wonderful 1st day of school, work, as well :)

Look-theres people out there like us!!!!!!!

I got this today and I just wanted to reach out and hug this woman-I dont know who she is-but she says everything Im feeling......now if we could just live in the same state! LOLOLOL
Anyway her words touched me:

"
I agree that it's necessary for us as parents to re-evaluate what's happening to our kids when R&S are used. HOWEVER, we shouldn't HAVE to be put into a situation whereby we are forced into making the decision to remove our kids from school or look into "alternate education" to keep our kids safe.

They are LEGALLY entitled to the same services as non-disabled individuals under state and federal laws and it is beyond time someone holds them accountable and stops these practices.

Yes, I've decided to pull my daughter out for her safety, but this isn't over yet - not by a long shot, and I hope someday there will be a plan in effect with people I trust to return her to school. I won't stop fighting for that, but I won't put her life in jeopardy again either.

She's a smart little girl and she misses her school friends and going to school with her sisters, and can't understand why THEY are allowed to go and SHE'S not.I also know that just because my daughter is no longer in that environment, that doesn't mean OTHER kids with disabilities are not experiencing R&S.

This also has to stop. I hate that my family and I have been put into this position - with virtually no choice. I'm all for having alternatives to the current educational system - whether that is home schooling or some other alternate schooling (such as Cyber Charter Schools), but I would have appreiciated having the choice of remaining in a "safe" public school, which my taxes help pay to operate.

What's Up.......

Well today has been busy. Its abt 12:00 and Im beat!LOLOLOL

This week has been the start of Vacation Bible School. It has been a GREAT hit for all the kiddoes :) It starts pretty late-6:30 and goes till 8:30 so we aren't usually home until abt 9.

Stinger has been good as Gold-even participating with the songs and hand movements. At the end they give out ballons that the teachers have made into shapes etc-and Stinger tries and hopes for one each night. :) He has come home with 2 ballons out of 3 nights so far. REALLY good-eh? Tonight he didnt get one-even though he was really good-which was extremelly hard for him to understand. But I told him they only have a certian number of ballons each night and there were probably other kids trying really hard too and he cant get one every night as this would mean a no to another kid who had tried just as hard as he did. Kinda difficult for him to understand-but he felt like he understood it better. They are talking abt Creations under the Sea-which leads into many controversal things-things Im not even sure abt. So Im sure it is confusing to Stinger-but we try and discuss it the next day etc.

Flamingo is doing really well as well-she has gotten 2 ballons too. Tonight I noticed her looking at me for direction when she was confused with something they say. She I guess is looking to see if Im nodding or saying no etc. I sit by them. And somethings tonight I purposely didnt look back at her-I saw her looking at me-as I really was learning and thinking about things for the 1st time too-LOLOLOL and I didnt know what to tell her.
I kept thinking to myself-okay, where was I when this was being taught? LOLOLOL
For example-
1. Dinasaurs on the ark??huh?
2. Fossil remains-the cause of the flood? huh?
3. Different layer and time periods in those layers-fiction? ( all because of the flood waters?)

4. Ark-every KIND of animal-not species.
5. Ark-BOX shape
Things like this is what they have been saying.....I dont know-I guess the main points are that what they(the kids) see and read in textbooks isnt fact-but Genesis is. I get that. LOLOLOL This is what they are trying to teach the kids I guess.....

I just havent ever thought abt such things really......and its interesting-I guess you could say Im learning too then-eh?
Like for instance-they have been talking abt Moses in Exodis and Genesis. How he made ,was it 10 or 11 things, happen to the pharoahs people. Heck-I thought it was just the red water and locust and 1st born. I had no idea how stubborn that Pharoah was then I guess....LOLOLOL
They also showed some articles from National geographic-which I have always been impressed with saying that Whales came from Land Mammals. They showed a childrens book too and a school text book. How crazy is that !!!!THIS is what they are teaching our kids now-that its not some theory-like I had thought they had been doing, but that it is indeed fact.
The big bang-FACT now-ugh.....etc.
I thought they had been presenting this stuff as THEORY-but they are teaching kids this IS how it IS.-FACT.

So its been fun for everyone -we ALL have been learning...LOLOLOL

Monkey Boy has had the squirmies-so he has only gotten 1 balloon-and he gets quiet upset-LOLOLOL
But he likes going-they all do.

The parade was tonight as well-right before VBS. It lasted until abt 7-the kids were all antsy wanting to go even before the parade had finished-fearing that they would miss VBS! LOLOLOL
Especially Stinger-who thought he would miss snack time and ballon give-away! LOLOLOL.

Came home aftre VBS-everyone was moody and tired and wanting to eat their candy...ugh! Except for Stinger that is-LOLOL He LOVES getting and going out and getting it, but isnt thrilled abt eating any of it once he has it-funny-eh? ??? But thats usual for him.

I had to hide Monkey Boys' he will eat candy till he hurls-LOLOLOL, and Flamingos' always in "moderation" They are all so funny and such individuals! LOLOLOL NEVER a DULL moment. :) I am sooo blessed! :)

Homeschool Materials are en-route, with 3 subjects coming that are not a complete order....sigh.....ugh.....anyway......3 more days until School starts for Falmingo-she is SOOO excited!
We saw her teacher in the parade( she used to be Stingers teacher last year) and she is going to be awesome ! Stinger even liked her when he had her. But she ran up to me and asked if the kids had a pencil-I said no, and she ran ahead and grabbed 3 for just us :)That was super nice I thought :) Flamingo just beamed! LOLOLOLOL

So Ive been trying to find pictures for PECS schedule for Stinger, finding games to do, hands on things, as many as I can get my hands on, sheets for Monkey Boy, oraganizing -color coding for Stinger, Speech therapy tools, Communicating tools, Life-skill toools.
Im soo excited that I can actually have time to teach him things I think he needs to learn that the school has just dismissed or I had to fight sooo hard for-ugh!

I am reading a Charlotte Mason book( its a curriculum)-and we will be incorporating many of her ideas as well-I like how she feels nature and The Lord are soooooooo important and how they are sooo important to teach together-we will be having nature notebooks etc. I know her academics and literature would be a struggle right now for Stinger as these are stressed very highly and intensily-but I really like the way this lady thinks-LOLOL. She tried to have all schooling done so in the afternoon they children were able to "play" outside etc explore-to be in The Lords Creation.

Anyway-thats what we have been up to :)

School of shock......article

Mother Jones-
( smart fearless journalism)

News:

Eight states are sending autistic, mentally retarded, and emotionally troubled kids to a facility that punishes them with painful electric shocks. How many times do you have to zap a child before it's torture?

In 1999, when Rob was 13, his parents sent him to the Judge Rotenberg Educational Center, located in Canton, Massachusetts, 20 miles outside Boston. The facility, which calls itself a "special needs school," takes in all kinds of troubled kids—severely autistic, mentally retarded, schizophrenic, bipolar, emotionally disturbed—and attempts to change their behavior with a complex system of rewards and punishments, including painful electric shocks to the torso and limbs. Of the 234 current residents, about half are wired to receive shocks, including some as young as nine or ten. Nearly 60 percent come from New York, a quarter from Massachusetts, the rest from six other states and Washington, D.C. The Rotenberg Center, which has 900 employees and annual revenues exceeding $56 million, charges $220,000 a year for each student. States and school districts pick up the tab.

The Rotenberg Center is the only facility in the country that disciplines students by shocking them, a form of punishment not inflicted on serial killers or child molesters or any of the 2.2 million inmates now incarcerated in U.S. jails and prisons. Over its 36-year history, six children have died in its care, prompting numerous lawsuits and government investigations. Last year, New York state investigators filed a blistering report that made the place sound like a high school version of Abu Ghraib. Yet the program continues to thrive—in large part because no one except desperate parents, and a few state legislators, seems to care about what happens to the hundreds of kids who pass through its gates.

Employees shocked him for aggressive behavior, he says, but also for minor misdeeds, like yelling or cursing. Each shock lasts two seconds. "It hurts like hell," Rob says. (The school's staff claim it is no more painful than a bee sting; when I tried the shock, it felt like a horde of wasps attacking me all at once. Two seconds never felt so long.) On several occasions, Rob was tied facedown to a four-point restraint board and shocked over and over again by a person he couldn't see. The constant threat of being zapped did persuade him to act less aggressively, but at a high cost. "I thought of killing myself a few times," he says.

Rob's mother Jo-Anne deLeon had sent him to the Rotenberg Center at the suggestion of the special-ed committee at his school district in upstate New York, which, she says, told her that the program had everything Rob needed. She believed he would receive regular psychiatric counseling—though the school does not provide this.

As the months passed, Rob's mother became increasingly unhappy. "My whole dispute with them was, 'When is he going to get psychiatric treatment?'" she says. "I think they had to get to the root of his problems—like why was he so angry? Why was he so destructive? I really think they needed to go in his head somehow and figure this out." She didn't think the shocks were helping, and in 2002 she sent a furious fax demanding that Rob's electrodes be removed before she came up for Parents' Day. She says she got a call the next day from the executive director, Matthew Israel, who told her, "You don't want to stick with our treatment plan? Pick him up."
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We have all heard of this Rotenburg Center in NY-and still it is up and running.......
I hate to say it-but it sounds eeeerily familiar-suggestions from the "school district" on what is best for your child.........sigh....

Makes me want to take my kids and run for the hills.....

A Different Drum-beautiful

A Different Drum
From Kerry Jones

"You will be extremely happy to know that you have nothing in common with me. You glide along through life like a leaf down a crystal stream. You tend to steer in the direction everyone else is steering, and the road ahead of you is well lit and mapped out. Your children have been welcomed with open arms by everyone they’ve met, and your home is a bastion of peace, harmony, and good will. Best of all, your homeschooling experience has been the most rewarding and inspiring era of your life, and you’ve never doubted your calling for even a moment. See? I told you that you have nothing in common with me.

Me... well, my life has been slightly different. My leaf tends to get stuck against every wet rock of the stream, my steering has been out of alignment for as long as I can remember, and the road I am on has been steep, winding, and many times even closed for construction.

My children, both with special needs, have been stared at, frowned upon, and pitied in their turn, and my home can feel much more like an open battlefield than a fortress at times. And frankly, I’ve been tempted to quit homeschooling more times than I’ve been tempted to cheat on my diet, and that is saying a lot. However, while my life in no way resembles yours, you needn’t feel sorry for me one bit. I like my life ... actually, I love it - every little bit of it - because God made me especially for it.

So many things in life seem designed with the "average" person in mind, don’t they? Airplane passenger seats are designed for an average size person, standardized tests are designed for the average student, and medicine doses are prescribed with the average person in mind. I’ll never forget the feeling of empathy I felt when I saw someone being asked to move along because they wouldn’t fit into a ride at a theme park. Or the first time I saw children on a park playground laughing at my son because he couldn’t control the jerking tics caused by his Tourette Syndrome. Our society caters to the average person... the average family... the average way of life. Unfortunately, I just can’t squeeze myself into that mold.

Homeschoolers used to be marginalized too, but over the years, they have become more accepted and respected. Within the homeschooling community, there are now groupings that help people fit in. There are Christian homeschoolers, unschoolers, Classical schoolers, Waldorf schoolers, Montessori schoolers, and traditional schoolers. Would you believe that I don’t fit into any of those either? We are Christians, but aren’t really homeschooling for religious reasons, we read the classics, but our exposure to Latin consists of what is written on the backs of our coins, and my worn-out lesson plan book would attest that I am a far cry from adopting unschooling in the near future. I suppose I simply don’t assimilate well.

Strangely enough, though, my life is far from impossible. Someone had the good sense to design a few things with the irregular person in mind. TiVo invented a way to automatically record any show that happens to concern Jane Austen - my current obsession. Tombstone miraculously created a frozen pizza that is half cheese and half supreme - the only way my family will eat it. I recently saw a magazine in the library for people who garden on their deck. I truly thought I was the only one guiding squash vines around the railing posts. And thank heavens for Time4Learning.com, a multimedia homeschool curriculum that is so well suited for the out-of-the-box learner.

I have learned over time that the kingdom of God is certainly an upside-down kingdom, and that swimming against the current is actually inevitable. Praying for my enemies, returning kindness for evil, and forgiving those who are beyond forgiveness are part of the inverted life I’ve been asked to lead. So, I shouldn’t be all that surprised that my leaf takes a few hits as it heads downstream. The image I see in my mirror each day looks different from any other image I see in the world around me because God has asked me to model a life that is far from average. In fact, I think God delights in the fact that I am abnormal... unusual... exceptional.

Because of this, I know that when I hit the roadblocks of life, I can find a way around them. When my children face the challenges of being different, I can remind them that means they are on the right track! When the normal battles of life take over my home, I understand that I will win the war in the end. And when I have laid my head down on my pillow at the end of a difficult day, and wondered why God has called me to this thing called "homeschooling" - I will remember that it is because I have been called according to His purpose. Called to be different."



See-I told you this was beautiful!!!! :)

This and That.....

Well Summer is about winding down........and you know what-for the first time I can honestly say.....Im not thrilled-LOLOLOL

Stinger has been really good-we still have our days, but its been "pleasant" -if thats what you call it....but Im excited for school to start-excited abt teaching him-whereas abt this time I would normally be a nervous wreck-just imagining another horrible school year. WHOOT!!!!! YEAH!!!*sigh of relief*

Swimming has finished up too-he is now in level 2. He was fabulous- and LOVED waking up early every morning to go. He got a certificate and asked if he could sign up for fall lessons-which we are going to do possibly. Im still unsure abt Flamingos' soccer schedule-so we shall see-either way-we will be going to the pool probably once a week when school starts. I still am kicking myself at having put swimming lessons off for so long-I guess I was just assuming it would go how other extra activities had gone. But he has taken to it like a duck to water. Its sooo nice to see him looking forward to an activity. As you all know those are so far and few.

I got the letter from the District. It stated that the IEP team had met( hey-I thought I was a member of this "team") and they have decided that the K12 program at home was not the Least Restricted Environment for Stinger.......so according to them at school would be and the school is where he should be given special services as it is the Least Restricted Environment. Hmmmmmm...I find that hard to belive that a timeout room all day is the least restricted environment or a plywood box for that matter...but who am I -eh, just a parent here?
But since I have chosen the K12 program I am "refusing" such "services" and should I want such "services" I need to call them. What a bunch of bunk-eh? But BIG surprise there....

So we decided who really cares and I signed the stupid paper. I mailed it in today. I called my legal people and they said if they(the Team) have decided that its not the Least Restricted Environment than they arent obligated to provide services as Stinger by IDEA law is to be taught in the LRE...so....I guess thsi is there way of getting past the red tape-and so be it...

We will be fine without them. Better if you ask me.

I got an email today abt that little 8 yr old girl who was in the timeout room for 3 hours who was made to wet herself(how familiar). It was all in the news and everything. Seams these parents took it to court or Due Process-Im not sure-and the school LOST!!!!!WHOOT!!!!!
........oh so tempting it is, now that I KNOW I'd win...........sigh....but Id rather wash my hands of that whole nightmare.

Im looking ahead-not behind us any longer. On to better tomorrows-eh?

Retaliation story.....

Have you all heard abt this lady from Georgia-she is truly living everyones nightmare! I could just see our school pulling this! Eeek!
Anyway-this stuff DOES happen....
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"Never Doubt that Retaliation Is Real"

I opened my email yesterday to find this link to a story in the Georgia news. A mother of an autistic boy near Macon, Georgia had been arrested for violating truancy laws. There weren't very many years ago that I wouldn't have thought twice about such a story and if I did, I would likely have thought "what a horrible mother."But this mom is far from a horrible mother. I don't know her personally, but do know of her. She is a tireless advocate for children with special needs and assists parents as they work with schools to get the right special education for their children.

These words jumped off the page at me: "…she requested hospital/homebound instruction for her son in May of last year on the advice of his doctor, who diagnosed the child as having post-traumatic stress disorder and needing home instruction."

Hmmm…in March of last year on the advice of LuLu's doctor, I requested hospital/homebound instruction, too. And LuLu not only has been diagnosed with PTSD, but according to her doctor, needed home instruction due to the level of anxiety. Like this mother's request, mine was denied. In both cases the school districts decided that they did not need to comply with a doctor's request to provide hospital/homebound educational services. I'm told that denying a doctor's request for medical homebound education is virtually unheard of in other states. But here in Georgia there are actually separate rules and standards for children in general education vs. children in special education. (And the general education children's hospital homebound requests are honored.)

In this mother's story, the school district went one step further. They filed truancy charges against her since her son was not attending school. On Friday things really came to a head when she was arrested and then released on a $1,100 bond.

Now that hasn't happened to me…yet. But frankly I wouldn't be surprised to hear from the truancy officer. This awesome mom is living my life! Perhaps I won't have to follow her into the next chapter, but who knows? For the past year, in addition to trying to help so many others, she has been teaching her son at home, keeping detailed records and information about his progress. And she's been actively helping and advocating for special needs children and their families. Not to mention her passionate advocacy for her own son, who is getting no services from the school district.

Instead he was verbally abused on the bus and had unexplained bruises. His anxieties were definitely triggered.

So, is there any doubt that retaliation is at the core of this move on the school's part? It's not like they didn't know where the kid was or that she was educating him to the best of her abilities at home. It's not like they didn't know they had a dispute going on. It's not like they tried to negotiate and resolve this issue. Instead, they hit her with the biggest hammer they could find.The next stop…state court.

This brave mom is facing all this alone, as (get this) her husband's currently serving in Iraq. Let me get this straight, what we have here is a stressed out parent of an autistic boy who was being abused enough at school to not only show bruises, but develop PTSD. The said mom doesn't even have her spouse to lean on as he's off fighting for our country, although I can imagine how nerve-wracking it must be for him being that far away from this whole mess.

Does this sound like the picture you had of public schools? Of nice teachers and cherubic children; of friendly administrators welcoming parents with opening arms; of caring professionals who have the child's best interest a heart?I'll admit it. If I weren't living in this parallel universe along side this woman and her son, I'd be tempted to say that someone is making this up! I didn't believe, even after we filed due process, that school personnel could be dishonest, manipulative, cruel and vindictive. I truly thought other parents were being paranoid and exaggerating the truth.
Schools would never treat parents this way!
Nope, it ain't a joke or an exaggeration; no one can make up a story this outlandish!
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Just a tad bit worring-no?

Restraint and Seclusion-yep this is gunna be LONG......

Ive been thinking about this alot lately...and feeling incredibly heart-broken at the same time...
I just cant get past the fact as a mother, as a protector-I let my son become such a victim. Ive been doing alot of soul searching, praying, festering, praying. This article says it all....

Children's Voice Article, September/October 2003
Practicing Restraint
By Scott Kirkwood

Restraint and seclusion were once considered acceptable, even a valuable tools in maintaining control of unruly children in residential group homes. But the call for alternatives is growing louder.

The negative effects of restraint have been well-publicized in recent years, most notably in a 1998 series in the Hartford (Connecticut) Courant implicating restraint in the death of dozens of children each year.

"Facilities that use seclusion and restraint have a much higher rate of injuries and sometimes deaths than institutions that don't use seclusion and restraint,"

If the Courant series revealed the lethal physical component of restraint, new research reveals the mental component is just as important. "Children who are victims or witnesses to abuse experience significant changes in the way they regulate their emotions over time, creating all kinds of problems as they get older," Huckshorn says.

"There was a tacit belief that containing children, setting harsh limits, and imposing a physical restraint or seclusion was somehow therapeutic. How we got the idea that meeting a child's history with violence was somehow going to be palliative and restorative, we don't know." If a child's frustrations are the powder keg that makes potential conflict so explosive, it's often the staff who provide the spark.

"In reviewing restraint episodes involving children, we noticed a pattern," says Nan Stromberg, Director of Nursing and Licensing for Massachusetts DMH. "When kids were in trouble and in distress, the staff would set limits, and the kids would then become more agitated--a recipe for restraint."

"Our belief now is that restraint is a treatment failure," Farragher says. "We end up physically holding kids when our program isn't holding them. To change that requires a team approach."

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Okay-so we have established that these types of things must be a team approach-everyone trying to work on things, everyone trying to de-escalate, everyone trying to use restraint and seclusion as a LAST result. Taking into consideration what each member of the "team" has to say abt EVERYTHING.....Clearly that is not what Stingers school is set out to do.

They like the fact I am so far away-which makes it harder to know what is actually going on. They have "rules" on visiting-which seam to magically change when dh is present. They insult me-claiming I am an overprotective parent who just needs to let go, and let them do their jobs. They fail to mention what actually goes on during the day-and instead I am met at the door by a brusied up child-phyisically and emotionally. I am told not to discuss anything bad-as they have taken care of it.....Then I am blamed at an IEP meeting that I have a "trust issue.

Holds and seclusions are not mentioned. Accidents-from bathroom priviledges taken away etc-are not mentioned. Cleanups that Stinger himself has to take care of which were the result of their ignorance-again not mentioned. Locked doors and pinches under the arms are not mentioned. Rude comments are thrown Stingers way by staff-again- explained away...sigh...Boxes with windows taped shut(scenes from horror movies which I swore only could be found at your local video store) are quickly shoved under the carpet and explained to be neccesary. Seclusion lasting goodness knows how long-again never specified-me asking and asking, stating I dont agree(remember the "team" deal?) telling Stinger to let me know if he spends all day in seclusion-then the "team" belittling me-blaming me that this tactic is failing now as I have talked to my son and told him this is not right!!!!-then feeling the repercusions from this by them staing they could no longer provide for my son......

Is it really a "trust" issue-well yes, having been to hell and back I would say YES-will it EVER be regained? No-not EVER.

So after much debate in my mind-and I could punch myself for debating abt such things.....We have decided to homeschool Stinger. He will NOT be stepping one foot into a Public school until I can be assured that he will be safe there-that the staff is compitant in dealing with behviors-in actually talking to Stinger and actually finding out what the trouble was all about-which no school has EVER EVER done. So I dont have high hopes for the outcome of him ever going back-somewhere over the rainbow...maybee there......maybee.......

I have picked the k12 program-I signed him up today -and yes, I know its federally funded-so they will be up our noses Im sure. But Im to the point where I dont care. I dont care-because I know Stinger will be safe now-THATS what is important.Come to my house-do your worst-as I knwo your worst has already been done to my son. He wont be told to sit in a chair like a robot and do exactly what he is told so he can pick a prize...sigh....I told them Stinger had an IEP and they want a copy, his behavior plan to-for the assesment-huh?For the Special Needs coordinator .Sounds like some mumbo jumbo testing they have rigged up-FUN....but again-who cares. Ive had him tested at a Childrens Hospital-so that doc trumps any they've got.They are intitled to any opinion-I dont care really....I dont know exactly what it will entail and I might end up having to just find my own curriculum. But I can do that. So we will wait and see I guess.

Im just relieved I stepped up-I can finally claim I am not the "chicken" any longer. Stinger will be in good, SAFE hands. Now and for how ever long it takes. :)

Boy-that felt good :)LOLOLOLOL

A Mothers Prayer For Mental Illness

This poem was posted on a group I belong to. It really touched me.

We on that board each have such different children each struggling with so many different issues and obsticles.......yet each and every day I am amazed at the bond that we mothers all share together-the support we can give each other-the same feelings we all share-and the fears we all face with our kids-the here and now as well as what the future has in store.....

A Mothers Prayer For Mental Illness

As I stumble from my bed this morning, help me to remember to be gentle and kind.My child's mind is shredding into a million pieces. He lives in a constant state of atrocious fear. I can see it in his eyes. Give him peace.

Guide me as I hold him in my arms. Help me to know what to say. What to do. Fill my heart with healing love, understanding, and empathy.

Give me the strength of a thousand angels to hold back my tears. My heart is broken and a tidal wave of grief is overwhelming me with the need to cry. Give me the strength to bear it long enough to keep it from disturbing my child. Help me find someone I can safely bring it to.

Help me answer my family's questions with the same amount of compassion I would want for my self. Help me remember they are hurting too. This is an unwelcomed assault on an entire family. My heart is not the only heart that is broken. We all need time and each other to heal.

As my journey becomes more and more isolative and lonely, remind me that the lack of involvement on the part of ones I knew is not always because of the stigma and the ignorance. For many, it is because they are hurting too. They have the privelege of turning to their own lives.

This is my family's life now. I must deal with it whether I am hurting or not.

Send me your best physicians and healers. Give me presence of mind, as I walk through the exhaustion of my grief to not settle for just any one no matter how tiresome the journey becomes.

Help me adjust to the idea, that although it appears sometimes that my son is gone, that he is still inside waiting for us to find him.

Infuse the creative part of my mind with solution oriented thinking. Give me hope. Even if it is just a glimmer of hope. A mother can go for miles on just one tiny glimmer. Let me see just a flicker of the sparkle of joy in his eyes.

Guide my hands, calm my mind, as I fill out the multitude of forms for services. Then help me do it again over and over.

Provide me with the knowledge. Lead me to the books I need to read, the organizations I need to connect with.

As you work though the people in my life, help me to recognize those that are here to help. Help me trust the right ones. Shine a light upon the right path.

Give me the courage to speak my truth; to know my son's truth. And to speak for him when he is unable to do it for himself.

Show me when to do for him what he is not capable of doing for himself. Help me to recognize the difference.

Help me to stand tall in the face of the stigma; to battle the discrimination with the mighty sword of a spiritual warrior. And to deflect the sting of blame and faultfinding from the ignorant and the cruel.

Preserve my love for my family. Shield my marriage with the wisdom of the love that brought us together.

Protect him from homelessness, loneliness, victimization, poverty, hunger, hopelessness, relapse, drugs, alcohol, suicide, cruelty and obscurity.

Lead us to the miracles of better medications, better funding, better services, safe and plentiful housing, meaningful employment, communities who care, enlightenment. Help us to find some way to replace all the greed with humanitarian work and intrinsic reward again.

Most of all, give me the strength to deliver whatever I can to the work of unmasking the man made ugliness of this disease and revealing the human and all of it's suffering beneath.

Finally, when it is my time to leave my son behind, send a thousand angels to take my place.

Why Women Cry-POEM

I thought this was beautiful......enjoy....:)


Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides." * * *~ author unknown ~

Interesting Read on IQ scores....

Hidden Smarts: Abstract thought trumps IQ scores in autismBruce BowerThere's more to the intelligence of autistic people than meets the IQ.

" Unlike most individuals, children and adults diagnosed as autistic often score much higher on a challenging, nonverbal test of abstract reasoning than they do on a standard IQ test, say psychologist Laurent Mottron of Hôpital Rivière-des-Prairies in Montreal and his colleagues. The same autistic individuals who score near or below the IQ cutoff for "low functioning" or "mental retardation" achieve average or even superior scores on a test that taps a person's ability to infer rules and to think abstractly about geometric patterns, Mottron's team reports in the August Psychological Science.

"Intelligence has been underestimated in autistics," Mottron says. Autistic people solve problems and deploy neural resources in unusual ways, which are poorly understood and might contribute to problems with IQ tests, he asserts. Mottron regards autism as a variant of healthy neural development. For that reason, his group—including study coauthor Michelle Dawson, herself diagnosed as autistic—prefers the term "autistic" to "person with autism."

The researchers studied 38 autistic children, ages 7 to 16; 13 autistic adults, ages 16 to 43; 24 nonautistic children, ages 6 to 16; and 19 nonautistic adults, ages 19 to 32. Volunteers completed an age-appropriate IQ test and a Raven's Progressive Matrices test. The latter test includes 60 items, each consisting of a series of related geometric designs and a choice of six or eight alternative designs, one of which completes the series.

The nonautistic children and adults scored slightly above the population average on both tests. In contrast, autistic kids and adults scored far higher on the Raven's test than they did on the IQ tests. These youngsters' average IQ was substantially below the population average, but their average score on the Raven's test was in the normal range. One-third of autistic children qualified as "low functioning" by IQ, but only 5 percent did so by Raven's scores.

Moreover, another third of the autistic children achieved "high intelligence" on the Raven's test. As in previous research, autistic volunteers performed well on an IQ task that required them to reproduce geometric designs using colored blocks. The new findings confirm prior indications that autistics score poorly on IQ tests despite processing perceptual information well, comments psychologist Uta Frith of University College London.

In a 2000 study, Frith's team noted that autistic and nonautistic children made equally rapid and accurate visual judgments, such as discerning which of two lines was longer. In people with autism, a lack of social insight derails the ability to acquire skills and information from others, a key to IQ success, Frith theorizes. Autistics thus succeed only on self-explanatory tasks, such as the Raven's test.

The Raven's test may measure autistic intelligence better than an IQ test does, adds psychologist Helen Tager-Flusberg of Boston University. Nonetheless, many autistic children are extremely impaired intellectually, she says. Researchers generally sell short the unique features of autistic intelligence, Dawson responds. For example, autistics shift flexibly back and forth between focusing on details of a scene or its overall configuration, whereas nonautistics single-mindedly concentrate on the big picture, she says. "

Hmmmmmm..............

Another Day..... Another Doc....

Well today we met another Doc yet again fromMH as ours has left-YET AGAIN! Sheesh.....Why is Stinger on Medicaid again-LOLOL;) yi-yi-yigh.....sigh....

But before that we had an apointment to touch base with his case worker. Seams yesterday Stinger got upset as a kid in group was saying something when Stinger thought it was quite time and no one should be talking-punched him. Had another incident in the bathroom with the same kid-knocked his glasses off and scratched him....Therapist says it was a space issue-then I told him what Stinger had told me-abt the name calling. So it was probably a combo of both.....Guess he had to be escorted out of the bathroom and procedded to have a fit as he doesnt like being touched when he is already aggitated. Yet when I questioned Stinger abt it yesterday Stinger said the case worker didnt touch him like the aides at school-he was stronger and case worker didnt hurt him like the aides do.....
And no I wasnt told of any of this-but apparently the case worker KNOWS how to do certain things-even Stinger noticed...sigh......which brought me thinking to school issues again...and now Im festering-especially since the next apt with the new Dr suggested I needed to find a lawyer...LOLOLOL.
Hes quiet an older doc-but I think Im liking him already-I went on and on abt our history at the "school" and he was VERY understanding and actually stated some things that I have NEVER heard from MH personel-actually on MY side-actually on Stingers side-not on the schools-kwim?
But he is VERY concerned abt Stinger and his treatment by the "school"-but he called me a chicken-LOLOLOL, as he said I knew it was not right, that they cant bully me, that what they are doing is not legal. We talked abt the box and abt my trust "issues"-as the school likes to call them. He stated it was a load of bunk, that I had goo dreason to have my so called "trust issues"-LOLOLOL and that I need to contact a lawyer...so I agn am festering..festering abt Stingers next year..wondering what is the right thing to do here....burning any kind of bridge that we might need-I am scared of, yet what they do is wrong......sigh.....

Stinger is actually doing VERY well at home. Hes actively ingaging Flamingo girl and Monkey Boy and asking them to play, sharing......its as if I have a different kid. We have the occasional fit when he throws things-but its nothing like its been when he's in school-agn-are they connected?
Is the school causing Stingers behavior to worsen-if he was home would he be the Stinger I am seeing now? ACK-are you tearing your hair out yet? LOLOLOL

Anyway...the in-home behavior therapist came today. Stinger would have none of anything-wanted to look himslef in his room and then decided to just play outside with the water hose-and its just going to take awhile. Of course he showed no behaviors....LOLOLOL. She said thsi was normal and she presented us with soem rules we might want to consider-I think they are great. So we went over them at dinner. The kids liked them.

One of the rules is if there is a problem then I will ask them to solve it. If they dont or wont, I will solve it-LOLOL
Flamingo doesnt care for this one-saying she doesnt want to solve any of her problems-LOLOLOL
But teh in home therapist will be coming every Tuesday for abt 2 hrs. So every week Ive got to have the house presenteable-LOLOL-good challenge-eh? But she has given me soem good techniques I have forgotten abt or hadnt thought of-so we will give it a go and we shall see........

Well its been awhile-HAPPY 4TH!!!!!:)

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!!!! We did :)
We had a cookout-which was oh so nummy, I made a jello with whip cream on top-BIG HIT! LOLOL :) Go figure that one -eh? ;)

Then we headed out to Brigham to see the firework show-which is always awesome. The only thing missing was Papa and Nana:( We sure miss them :( The band played Fiddler on the Roof during the hour we were waiting. I thought of my Dad-doing his dance:"if I were a rich man" and I found myself smiling. :)

Fireworks started at 10 and they were marvelous. I always get chooked up when hearing America songs-one that stood out was really good"Here in America..In God We Still Stand" oh it was beautiful!!!!!It pulled at my heart. We are sure a blessed country-we sure are a blessed people arent we. Blair has been quoted as saying the true worth of a country is counted as to how many people are trying to get out and how many people are trying to get in. Doesnt take much to realize how blessed we truly are does it? Lisa-a blogger friend posted The Declaration-and yes I too beleieve it was Truly inspired of God:but we should all read it again, and again, and again.....

THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


But the night went great. The fireworks were right on top of us. The kids all layed down and just had to look up-they thought that was wonderful. Monkey boy was all giggles-he enjoyed them soo much and would roll over with excitement-LOLOL Stinger lay still as a statue with a big grin plastered on his face-too funny-but def in his moment. And then Flamingo-asking when it would be over as she was bored-LOLOLOL. HUH? LOLOLOLOL

But very nice-very nice indeed :)

Today has been a sad day for Flamingo-and me as well just seeing her heart break again and again-not being able to comfort her. She has been nursing a baby bird who fell out of its nest for a couple days now. Feeding it water with a Q-tip, catching every kind of bug imagineable to try and feed it. Keeping it out of the sun, talking to it, trying to teach it how to fly back up to the tree where it needed to be. She says they were best friends and she was mourning that friendship she formed with this bird today. She had even named it "caramel"......sigh....

This morning she awoke and checked on her little friend to find him still and cold. She awoke Mom and said his eyes looked funny-not realizing he had died in the night...sigh....We walk over together and that walk was sooo hard to take with her-as I just KNEW what had happend. She looked up at me and tears started to fill her eyes as she asked what was wrong with her little bird friend? She has been fighting back tears all day-as caramel keeps creeping into her mind she says. She wants to hear her bird in Heaven-she wants to talk with her friend as she says her friend is still in her heart :( and she doesnt understand why in Heaven her friend cant talk to her now....

I tell her to smile as her friend is happy now as he is all better and is flying with God now:) Does no good to soothe her hurt inside. I tell her about me as a child trying to nurse baby birds also and feeling so sad when they left. But that they needed their Momma-their Momma was the only thing that could have made them better, even though I had tried as best I could to get them right again-they needed their mothers care and love. I realize nothing I say is going to take that hurt away-so I hold her tightly in my arms as her tears keep falling.

We got a little box lined with tissue paper. We taped it shut and Flamingo wrote "Kamel" on top of the box with a big red heart and signed her name at the bottom. We go out back and dig a hole and layed it to rest in a nice spot. Falmingo says "Be careful flying up in Heaven Caramel." She looks at me and tells me that God will take care of him now. She picked some flowers and put them on top and a twig to mark it. She has since been back to visit that exact spot Id say probably 5 times today......She went to bed tonight sniffing back tears.......

Oh- who knew what a hard job this "Mothering" would be....sigh......

My children teach me every day.....and my heart grows bigger and bigger with each new lesson learned....

Redefining the Workplace-article

Sometimes I get concerned when I think about the future....
But this article really gave some positive attributes that I need to help promote in Stinger that he already shines with:)


Autistic Traits: A Plus for Many Careers
From Lisa Jo Rudy,Your Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Redefining the Workplace for Autistic Teens and Adults:

Since when have passion, meticulous attention to detail, and lack of interest in office gossip been problems in the workplace? Since the workplace was defined as a 9-5 social setting! It's true that offices -- and the stock rooms at Walmart -- are "typical" work settings. But autistic people aren't typical. And neither are the careers for which they're ALREADY good candidates.

He Just Can't See the Forest for the Trees:

It's a common trait among autistic people: they see the parts instead of the whole. It's a problem in some settings, but a terrific attribute if you're looking for... deep space anomalies (as an astronomer), unique cells (as a lab technician), differences among species (as a biological researcher), particular qualities of objects (as a gemologist, antiques appraiser, or art historian).

Her Only Friends Are Her Family:

This trait may not get you invited to the prom. But it's a wonderful attribute if you're... a forest ranger; a self-employed writer or artist; a caretaker at an estate; a gardener or horticulturalist; or even a paleontologist (dinosaur scientist). After all, lack of interest in other people is not indicative of lack of interest in or ability to manage things, animals, or systems. And it's not easy to find a qualified person who's willing to spend extended periods on their own.

All He Cares About in the World Is... [Fill In the Blank]:

If you've ever worked at museum, lab or university, you'll find worlds full of single-minded, passionate people. To an academic, their area of interest, no matter how small, is desperately interesting. The same is true of museum professionals and archaeologists, who spend their lives studying individual artifacts, bones or textiles.

She Thinks In Pictures, But It's Hard for Her to Understand Conversations:

Some autistic people can, with virtually no effort, envision a 2-dimensional photograph as a 3-dimensional object. With appropriate training, such people are ideal candidates for jobs in areas like CAD (computer aided design), architectural model construction, industrial design, exhibit prototyping, and much more. The key is finding and supporting the training that can lead to such careers.

He's So Rule-Oriented That He Drives People Crazy!:

In a typical workplace, most people bend and break the rules. This is very tough for many autistic people, who need and respond to structure. But there are plenty of work places in which rules are absolute -- for everyone. Of course, the most obvious choice for rule-oriented people is the military. But even in hospitals and labs, rule-following is not only important -- it's critical.

She Likes Animals, Not People!:

It's not easy to become a veterinarian. But consider some of the many, many animal-oriented careers available. Caring for horses at a stable, horse-farm or track. Working on a farm. Zookeeper or animal curator at a zoo or petting farm. Animal wrangler for the entertainment industry. Naturalist or husbandry expert at a museum or aquarium. Pet store employee. Animal tech at a veterinary practice or kennel. The list goes on and on!

Keeping an Open Mind: What's out there?

Who's doing it? For people on the autism spectrum, the answers need to be as wide ranging as possible. Whether your autistic loved one is a dinosaur devotee or crazy about computers, with a college degree or GED, there are career options available. Take a close look at your child's passions, abilities and needs, and the wide world of possible careers. He or she may already be halfway there.
Updated: October 1, 2006

The POOL.....

well...well.......what started as an "OH NO...sigh"...turned into a "can we come back here tomorrow.

It was a process dont get me wrong. A title such as "the Pool" wont seam so criticle or nail biting to some...but for Stinger it was....

We walk into the building. We hear shouting and can see behind teh window much noise and splashing as kids are having fun in teh pool area. Immediately Stinger hides behind Flamingo and Monkey Boy. "Im not going in" as he peers out from hiding. The "Im not going in" wasnt meant in the pool, as I had figured-but not going into anything-not the doors leading to the locker rooms, not the pool most defenitely, but was meant as a big NO moving anywhere. "Im going to stay right here by these candy machines Mom," as I am keeping track out of my corner eyes of a Monkey Boy and Flamingo eager to go...
"Stinger you dont have to go in the water, just come into the locker rooms with us, I cant leave you out here all alone." "No" says Stinger.

This goes on for about 15 minutes.

Finally we slowllllly make our way into the locker room. Stinger being quite upset abt the floor being wet-me just telling him it was pool water???LOLOLOL We get a locker(forgot to bring a lock with me)but everyone takes off their clothes and shoes and puts them into locker-all but Stinger. He doesnt want to go anywhere else and wont take off clothes or flip-flops.

I tell him again that he doesnt have to do anything he is not comforteable with doing-just to come where I go.

So we finally make our way to the showers-no one wanted to get wet-no signs saying you had to, so we passed it. We opened the doors leading out to the pool-Stinger still in his clothes everyone else ready to go. But he follows.

I get in the water, Monkey Boy follows and Flamingo hot on the trail. Each putting on vests as they were all very nervous. Stinge rlooking down at us not wanting to get wet or come in etc still. He tells me quitely taht he might get in, but we all have to stay on the steps with him and he states that he is wearing his shirt. I say okay that is fine Stinger. THEN...boom-he takes off his shirt and gets IN THE WATER!!!!!!

His face was sooooo cute and funny-he liked it, but wasnt so sure abt everything still. Said he wanted a vest-so I get out-he follows and I get a vest. Flamingo and Monkey boy LOVED it-had one occasion each when they happend to step off the step-freaked out, but were fine. Mom to the rescue;)

Stinger got more and more brave. Monkey boy was just lovin every minute of it, and Flamingo even wanted to take off her vest. So I rented some tubes to float in and they all got their own and had sooo much fun.

Monkey boy went ard the whole pool(3.5 ft) just swimming with his float and vest on-he was just truckin it-LOLOL It was sooo funny! He ha dsoo much fun.

Flamingo kept wanting to take her vest off and was very brave and loved the tube ring float as well. She swam with her ring to the ropes and she was pleased with herself;)LOLOLOL

Stinger took to climbing all over his float ring and just floted ard-he was sooo funny.

Flamingo and Stinger played pool basketball as well-and Stinger took off his jacket realizing he could stand in the water on his toes and was comforteable with that.

We stayed abt 4 hours-if that says anything!!! LOLOLOL With pleas to come back the next day :) So it was a BIG HIT!!!! We will be going on Mon, Wed, and Fridays :) They are all anxiously awaiting tomorrow :)

They all spent abt 15 min in the showers after-I think the pool and the showers were a toss up-they loved the warm water that would spray out of them -LOLOL:)

Everyone did SOOOO well-I AM a PROUD, PROUD Momma again :)

A Poem.....

This was sent on one of my group lists......

My Mom she tells alot of lies,
That she never did before,
But from now until she dies,She'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my mom how she is,
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie,
Because she can't describe the pain.

Ask my mom how she is,
She'll say "I'm alright"
If that's the truth, then tell,
why she cries each night?

Ask my mom how she is,
she seems to cope so well,
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.

Ask my mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping"
For goodness sake mom tell the truth,
your heart is broken.

She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine,
But if you ask how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am here in Heaven,
I cannot hug her here,
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,
I'll smile and be bold,
I'll say, "Mom you are lucky to get in here."
With all the lies you told.


Yes...guilty.....

Ill update on the POOL tonight-it was FANTASTIC!!!!Cart Wheel FANTASTIC!!! :) WHOOT!

Hard days.....

I wont post too much about yesterday-lets just say I was exhausted when I went to bed last night :(

Stinger was having MAJOR meltdowns over SILLY things-histerically crying and getting mad at everyone he came into contact with agn......I think we had abt 5 episodes yesterday-which is alot more than the norm....

Ive been trying to keep things really structured ard here-but I guess yesterday I gave them too much free time and Stinger just couldnt handle it very well. The other kids love free time and can find things to do-but free time for Stinger -too much of it anyway and he gets very frustrated. So Ive got to coem up with something ard here-everyday at least-which is going to be exhausting-LOLOLOL.

C thought up a very good idea abt having him help me cook-making menus and fixing lunches and things-since he is still being so very picky abt things. Which I think sounds wonderful and I am anxious to try this. He gets so agitated-for instance the other day a fly landed on his food and he refused to take one bite of anything-as it was now contaminated with "fly germs" ..sigh...things like this and I am just glad he IS eating-kwim? But we will try the helping with meals and see if that helps-and like she said-whats the worst he could do----not eat! and hes already doing that one-LOLOL;)

Today was friendship group and Stinger was sooo excited to go. It was funny watching him run ard making sure he was all ready to go-he even trimmed his nails-LOLOLOL and every 5 min he was asking me if it was time to go.

Seams he had a rough time today though-got into it with a girl who was touching the computer when she shouldnt be and he told her to stop touching it, then took it upon himself to handle it by pushing her down. Then she said she was going to bite him-which upset him more as he was just trying to have her follow the rules-yadda yadda.....

I talked with the therapist and he says hes just not seeing the change in Stinger with his socialising. That he just has no desire to do so. That he can be taught the right thing to do, but thats not going to make him want to be ard others. But he is pleased that stinger is choosing to cooperate and be ard others some of the time. But he said Stinger can only take so much and then he withdraws agn-which is clearly his ASD. He knows its waht is expected and weil do it for so long, but he clearly would rather just be by himself and is completely happy when he is left to do that.

And this is what im always contimplating-that he can be taught, but no one is going to change the way he is and what he finds enjoyeable-which is to be by himself. And should we? ????Because when we force he gets frustrated, overwhelmed and annoyed.....So therein lies the question abt isolating oneself-is it good ,is it bad, and who says what is good and bad? ???something to fester abt for sure......its his safe place and what is wrong with having a safe place.....mine was the bathtub when I was younger...LOLOLOL.hmmmm.LOLOLOLOL

Therapist also said not to force apoligys-stating it becomes a power strugle and Stinger will forget what he did and focus on the apoligy-well not saying it. and we want him to understand what he did was wrong-not focus on the apoligy-which is what it turns into...Which make sense. So Ive been forcing at home and having powere struggles, which is what he says will happen-so I will stop and suggest and state that it is the right thing to do, decide on a punishment(timeout-doenst work, taking away priveledges-doesnt work)and then be done......should be interesting....but Im up to trying abt anything.....cause what Im doing aint cutting it....Im learning much interesting tips from these therapists....things I never thought abt-maybee they do sometimes know what they are talking about....well lets not get too carried away Momma Bear! LOLOLOL

Tomorrow is THE POOL!!!!! :) Im crossing my fingers and toes its a good time for ALL....Im sure Ill be writing agn tomorrow-LOLOLOL;)

Lady, get control of your kid

I LOOOOOOVED this........


"LADY, get control of your KID!"
by Kristyn Crow More from this Blogger

Those of us with behaviorally disordered kids get them all the time: Stares. Glares. Looks of indignation. Eye rolls. Huffs. Puffs. Expressions that say, "Lady, get control of your kid!"

So this blog is dedicated to those people who shoot the looks of disapproval.

It may look like I have failed miserably at raising a well-behaved child. He appears to be an ordinary kid who somehow turned into a monster from bad parenting. And maybe he is irritating you. Maybe you're annoyed beyond belief at my child's outbursts. You've had a long day, and my kid is whining, stomping his feet, and refusing to stand still. He's bumping into you in line. He's giving you a headache. Taxing, I know.
Just to enlighten you, I spend a great deal of my life "getting control of my kid." That includes visits with doctors, therapists, counselors, special education teachers, and behavioral specialists. I read books, articles, and often resort to my own trial-and-error experiments. My child has a disability; it's just not immediately apparent from his appearance. My all-consuming job of parenting this child is exhausting. And there are times I sit at home in frustrated contemplation, wondering what I could do better. I want to help my child fit in to the real world. But he is unique in every way. God designed him like that, perhaps to teach the rest of us a little patience and restraint. And maybe unconditional love.
The truth is, I'm a very good parent. I'm devoted. I use discipline, and I've exhausted various "time out" strategies. I don't eat bonbons and watch sitcoms while my kid has his run of the place. I haven't pampered him and spoiled him rotten, creating the reactions you're seeing. I'm not some kind of lame-brain who shouldn't have the right to be a parent. And I don't mean you any harm. I'd simply like to purchase the macaroni and cheese and cheerios in my cart, and be on my way. But it does mean that you might be inconvenienced.
I love my child.
Forgive the disruption, and thanks for understanding. (Do you?)

Odds and Ends.....

Well today went well. :)

Today was Stingers social group at his homeschool. He was very nervous abt everything-very quite. I was overjoyed when I got there as the one lady whom Stinger cliques with was there as well as his favorite therapist who he sees. So that was good. Alot of the same kids who where in his weekly group are there too-including a little girl whom Stinger seasm to "like"He gets all silly talking about her-LOLOLOL. But he said he had a good time-which was excellent in my book :) WHOOT! I told him the only thing he needed to remember was to HAVE FUN! And it seams he did :)

I asked the teachers how he did when I picked him up. They said he was very quite-withdrawn at first(which I figured he would be)then he got into it, then became withdrawn again.

I told them I was happy he at least got into it-as I had thought he would have been very quiet , it being his first day and all the whole time today-kwim? But he wasnt-he wanted to get involved some of the time-which was agn-EXCELLENT!!!! WHOOT!

So it looks like a good thing for him this summer. :)

The pool is closed this week for cleaning-I told Stinger and he WAS pleased :)LOLOLOL I told him they were really cleaning it good to get ALLLLLLL the germs out. We had a LONG discussion abt it-and he is looking forward to going to the pool now. :)

This week I got a Round Robbin(something that goes ard-its from a PECS(picture schedules etc, ABA stuff) group I am on online with) The box was filled with soooo much stuff. So I have been printing like CRAZY!!!!They have some AWESOME social stories, along with many PECS pictures and many ABA type deals to do at home. So I have started the schedule again-which is good for all the kids and they enjoy putting each activity in the envelope when it is finished :) They also love knowing what we are planning on doing that day-which keeps me in check-which is a good thing too ;)

Ive also been looking at starting an ABA program at home-here is a short video abt it:
http://www.drcarbone.net/videos.aspx

This lady is AWESOME and I hope to be able to do the same with teaching to Stinger.

Everyone is ALWAYS talking abt ABA and how it can help-and Ive alwasy thought Stinger wouldnt benefit from such a program. But I ran into something called AVB-which stands for verbal behavior-which is what they are doing in the video.

Stinger could benefit from this I think.....The whole thing is abt speed and being able to speak quicker-having a quicker thought process. As when you are talking with someone you need to be able to be right up on your thought processes-kwim? Which Stinger needs help with in processing info and responding back etc. So I have been trying this with Stinger and the other kiddoes. Flamingo is really quick and she flies through it. Its not a big challenge for her. Monkey boy struggles a bit but not as much as Stinger. So Ive been mainly focusing on Stinger-but the others like to "play" :) especially when treats are involved-LOLOLOL

And its rather fun too-so why not. On the outside these programs cost an arm and a leg-and I MIGHT look into it if I see an improvement with Stinger. But I will try it myself first. So Ive been printing off cards and things. You can make it as high functioning as you need depending on the child and what skills you want to teach etc. Im enjoying it anyway......and so is Stinger. He doesnt like to clap and things, but hes looking at me and doing well with what he is comforteable doing to start anyway....

But anyway-thats what we have been up to here.

Tomorrow is story time at the library-which Stinger doesnt care too much for-he just ussually goes ard with me and tries to find books to check out while Monkey Boy and Flamingo sing and do activities etc.

But everyone enjoys going still.....