Okay-THIS is it-the one poem that says it all-MY FAVORITE I have found out there-was send today and made me smile :)
- *I Am... for Mothers of Special Needs Children ~*~ By Michelle Guppy>>>> http://www.frommyheart.org/view/?pageID=151167>>>>
I am the little engine that did.
When on my journey in life, my tracks led me to a mountain - a diagnosis of (Autism, CP, MR, ...) - I looked at it with defeat - thinking there was no way I could climb over it. I then
pondered the obstacle before me, and I then said to myself over and over, "I think I can, I think I can...," then I slowly started climbing the mountain saying to myself over and over, "I know I can, I know I can,...." and then I made it over that ominous diagnosis and continued my journey. I am the little engine that did.
I am more devoted than Noah's wife. I sometimes feel overwhelmed in my "houseboat" -- 365 days and 365 nights a year, constantly working with and teaching my child. But when the storms of isolation and monotony become most unbearable, I do not jump ship. Instead I wait for the rainbow that is promised to come.
I am Xena. Real life warrior goddess of Autism. With my steel plated armor I can battle anyone who gets in the way of progress for my child. I can overcome the stares and ignorance of those without a disability in their lives - and educate them as to why my child is the way he is, and why he does the things he does. With my sword of persistence, I can battle the schools to have them properly educate my child. Yes, I am Xena - and I am prepared for any battle that might come my way......
I am beautiful. I have hairy legs because I get no time alone in the bathroom, and bags under my eyes from staying up all night with my child.The only exercise I get is the sprint from my house to my car - to take my child to therapy. Dressed up to me is, well - just that I had a moment to get dressed! They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and so even on the days when I don't feel very beautiful - I will know that I am........ because God is my beholder.
I am the Bionic Woman. With my bionic vision - I can see through the disability my child has, and see the beauty in his soul, the intelligence in his eyes --- when others can't. I have bionic hearing - I can look at my child when he smiles at me, and hear his voice say, "I Love You Mommy," --- even though he can't talk. Yes, I am thankful to be Bionic.
I am Mary. A not so well known mother of a Special Needs child who was brought here to touch the souls of those around him, in a way that will forever change them. And it started with me. By teaching me things I would never have known, by bringing me friendships I never would have had, and by opening my eyes as to what really matters in life. Things like the Joy of just living in the moment, the Peace of knowing that God is in control, never losing Hope, and knowing an unconditional Love that words cannot express. Yes, I too am blessed by a special child, just like Mary.
I am Superwoman. I am able to leap over tall loads of laundry in a single bound, and run faster than a speeding bullet, to rescue my child from danger. Oh yes, without a doubt, I am Superwoman.
I am like Moses. I was chosen to be the mother of a Special Needs Child. I may at times question whether I am the right "man" for the job ---but God will give me the Faith I need to lead my child to be the best he can be. And like Moses, God will give me the small Miracles here and there, needed to accomplish my mission.
I am Stretch Armstrong - a mom that can be stretched beyond belief and still somehow return to normal. I can stretch limited funds to cover every treatment and therapy that insurance won't. I can stretch my patience as I bounce from doctor to doctor in a quest to treat my child. I can stretch what time I have, and share it with my husband, my children, my church, >> and>> still have some leftover to help my friends. Yes, my name is Stretch. And >> I>> have the stretch-marks to prove it!
I am Rosa Parks. I refuse to move or waiver in what I believe is right for my child --simply because my view is the minority, not the majority. I refuse to believe "What can one mother do?" But instead, I will write, call, and rally to the government if I have to, and do whatever it takes to>> prevent discrimination against my child and ensure that he gets the services he needs.
I am Hercules. The Greek god known for strength and courage. The heavy loads I must carry would make others crumble to the ground. The weight of Sorrow, Fear at uncertainty of the future, Injustice at having no answers, and the Tears of despair, would alone possibly be too much, --- even for Hercules. But then the Joy, Laughter, Smiles, and Pride, - at my child's accomplishments, - balance the load to make it easy to bear.
I am touched by an Angel. An Angel who lives in a world of his own. And it's true. He lives in a world of innocence and purity. A world without hatred or deceit. A world where everyone is beautiful and where no-one is ugly. A world where there is always enough time. A world where he goes to bed with no worries of tomorrow and wakes up with no regrets of the past. Yes, I most certainly am touched by an Angel, and in some ways, his world is better....
I am a true "Survivor" - the mom of a child, who has faced, is facing, and will face, --some of the most difficult challenges life has to offer. I am ready for the challenge and have God given endurance to last until the end, -- along with a sense of humor to cope with all the twists, turns, and surprises along the way. Oh yes, I am a TRUE "Survivor" - and I don't need to win a million dollars to prove it!!!
I am a mom of a special needs child, all the above, and so much more. Some days I will want to be none of the above - and just be a typical mom with a typical child, doing typical things. On those days I will know it's okay to be angry, and to cry, and to lean on my family, friends, for support. Because after all, ---the most important thing I am, ..... is human.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-beautiful -eh? :)
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Whats Been Going On.....
School is going good......we are struggling I think with this curriculum. I find it nice and full of lots of info-Stinger finds it not very stimulationg-no matter how I go abt doing things....So I guess what they say is true-what you as a parent might like and be comforteable with is not neccesarily what will be right for your child....hmmm.....
He's still not liking the breaking up of subjects-it frustrates him when he sees different subjects we will be doing that day etc. The days I can combine subjects -are really good days. The days I do what the curriculum says-even when I modify it-its a frustrating day for us both....
Ive been looking at Unit Studies and I think this is the Golden Ticket for Stinger. Basically you have a theme and you incorporate all subjects into that certian theme. Say its on eco-systems, you would put math in, science, history, writing, language, spelling-but it would all go together with that certain theme. I think Stinger would like that alot better and it wouldnt be so overwhelming for him-Ive tried it a little with this K12 curriculumn, but it doesnt really work that way...so its difficult to do....
But we will be probbaly be doing something like that next year if things dont look up with this curriculumn. He was happy with it-I think just because it was a "new" thing, but now he doesnt care for it too much....
He is really enjoying the Indian in the Cupboard though-I wish I could incorporate thinsg he is doing into that theme-which would be really nice-see this is what Im talking about-and I cant really do that with K12 as they have their set curriculum. We are also reading Mrs Piggle-Wiggle9part of K12). Stinger thinks these books are sooo funny! He never really laughs, but I see him smiling and he has that Stinger twinkle in his eyes as he looks at me with his grins-LOLOLOL He enjoys listening to what teh naughty kids do and what Mrs Piggle -Wiggle suggests to the parents of these naughty children-LOLOLOL-he likes it when the kids learn their lesson -hopefully hes picking up on some of these lessons-eh? ;)
Flamingo had her last soccer game on Wed. She is upset to be done for the season. She was actually getting really good-getting in there to fight for the ball as at first she was hesitating. They gave all the kids trophies and had a little presentation-MY!!! Was she proud of herself!!!! You can still find her with that trophy in her hands as soon as she comes home from school these days. Cute-eh? She also got a certificate that she has up on her dresser displayed proudly with her trophy:)
Monkey Boy is still acting like a Monkey-LOLOLOL-He's doing really well with his school we are doing-he just LOVES worksheets-and hes alwasy asking me" whats next?"LOLOLOL Hes always wearing a smile and he brightens my days.
He's still not liking the breaking up of subjects-it frustrates him when he sees different subjects we will be doing that day etc. The days I can combine subjects -are really good days. The days I do what the curriculum says-even when I modify it-its a frustrating day for us both....
Ive been looking at Unit Studies and I think this is the Golden Ticket for Stinger. Basically you have a theme and you incorporate all subjects into that certian theme. Say its on eco-systems, you would put math in, science, history, writing, language, spelling-but it would all go together with that certain theme. I think Stinger would like that alot better and it wouldnt be so overwhelming for him-Ive tried it a little with this K12 curriculumn, but it doesnt really work that way...so its difficult to do....
But we will be probbaly be doing something like that next year if things dont look up with this curriculumn. He was happy with it-I think just because it was a "new" thing, but now he doesnt care for it too much....
He is really enjoying the Indian in the Cupboard though-I wish I could incorporate thinsg he is doing into that theme-which would be really nice-see this is what Im talking about-and I cant really do that with K12 as they have their set curriculum. We are also reading Mrs Piggle-Wiggle9part of K12). Stinger thinks these books are sooo funny! He never really laughs, but I see him smiling and he has that Stinger twinkle in his eyes as he looks at me with his grins-LOLOLOL He enjoys listening to what teh naughty kids do and what Mrs Piggle -Wiggle suggests to the parents of these naughty children-LOLOLOL-he likes it when the kids learn their lesson -hopefully hes picking up on some of these lessons-eh? ;)
Flamingo had her last soccer game on Wed. She is upset to be done for the season. She was actually getting really good-getting in there to fight for the ball as at first she was hesitating. They gave all the kids trophies and had a little presentation-MY!!! Was she proud of herself!!!! You can still find her with that trophy in her hands as soon as she comes home from school these days. Cute-eh? She also got a certificate that she has up on her dresser displayed proudly with her trophy:)
Monkey Boy is still acting like a Monkey-LOLOLOL-He's doing really well with his school we are doing-he just LOVES worksheets-and hes alwasy asking me" whats next?"LOLOLOL Hes always wearing a smile and he brightens my days.
Communicating Partners book study notes....
Communicating Partners
by: James MacDonald
Okay-If you haven't read this book-DO!!!!! LOLOLOLOL
Its about Communicating with your children particularly late talkers, ASD, and DS.
I found out about it from C-shes the big guroo when it comes to books and I know if shes recommending something to me I need to just go out and buy it!LOLOLOL Which was the case of this book.
Out of all the books I have read-and trust me Ive read books all abt Stinger and trying to find ways I can help him in trying to have some what of a better understanding of what is going on in that head of his (trying to get in there is like trying to knock down a brick wall sometimes)-this one TOPS them all and Im just starting it-LOLOLOL
So Ive been taking some notes and I thought Id share them-the points that have struck me pertaining to Stinger. Its been an eye opening book to say the least-some parts Im nervous abt trying, some parts Im excited abt trying, some parts are totally gratifying in learning Ive been doing things right, other parts Im finding out Im going abt things all wrong......anyway.....here's my notes so far....
Step 1: enter into routines
-dont teach, be still, be alert, accept
THIS I think is going to be the hardest thing as Stinger so clearly doesnt want anyone ard when he is doing "his" thing-I can see him getting extremely upset with me....
Step 2:( after being accepted) Immitation and Modeling
-immitate him/parralel play-do what he is doing
-goal is for Stinger to eventually do what I am doing when he isnt being told or asked to do it, kwim?
Step 3: Taking turns
-WAIT!!!!! for Stinger to take his turn
I have recognised I talk for Stinger when Dh asks him something or anyone for that matter asks him something-thinking this is helping him, when in actuality it is hurting his progress. :(
So how do we get thsi social habit going you ask?
*Be balanced-do as much as each other
-dont dominate
-stay away from "learned helplessness"
-stay out of the "needs help.....help more" circle
-GIVE STINGER TIME!!!!!
*Be matched-
-what he can do at the moment
this shows support( understanding his world)
-match his playing
-get into routines together: pushing cars, putting toys away,having a snack-
( do what he is doing)
-back and forth routines-will eventually be able to teach him something new to do
goal------> Stinger thinks interaction is worthwhile and FUN! :)
<remember> any interaction is a struggle for Stinger-be grateful for any signs of
-its difficult, frightening, overwhelming for him
-with matched playing we can build confidence-he will finally feel accepted while interacting!:)
<remember>convince staying with people is rewarding and successful
-dont relie on toys-be more exciting and interesting than the distraction
*be responsive
-be patient-not easy for him-celebrate small interactions at first
-for Stinger it might take some time to accept me playing parallel with each other
-will need time fro him to realize Im not imposing changes, but letting him be himself
(I was relieved to see this as I am quiet sure we will have some opposition with this one)
-acting like Stinger enables me to read and connect with him
-Stinger needs to learn to respond to what others do
-peers will not likely stick ard if ignored
*Share control and decisions
-many parenst are pushed away, screamed at, or rejected
-are known for resisting typical kinds of play
*emotionally attached and playful
-appreciate whatever he does
-my job is to be accepted BY HIM
-be silly
---->age appropriate often makes silent and alone
-very sensitive to adult judgements or lack of support
=======>important development:
to BELIEVE they can interact successfully without being judged or told to change
WOW-eh?
by: James MacDonald
Okay-If you haven't read this book-DO!!!!! LOLOLOLOL
Its about Communicating with your children particularly late talkers, ASD, and DS.
I found out about it from C-shes the big guroo when it comes to books and I know if shes recommending something to me I need to just go out and buy it!LOLOLOL Which was the case of this book.
Out of all the books I have read-and trust me Ive read books all abt Stinger and trying to find ways I can help him in trying to have some what of a better understanding of what is going on in that head of his (trying to get in there is like trying to knock down a brick wall sometimes)-this one TOPS them all and Im just starting it-LOLOLOL
So Ive been taking some notes and I thought Id share them-the points that have struck me pertaining to Stinger. Its been an eye opening book to say the least-some parts Im nervous abt trying, some parts Im excited abt trying, some parts are totally gratifying in learning Ive been doing things right, other parts Im finding out Im going abt things all wrong......anyway.....here's my notes so far....
Step 1: enter into routines
-dont teach, be still, be alert, accept
THIS I think is going to be the hardest thing as Stinger so clearly doesnt want anyone ard when he is doing "his" thing-I can see him getting extremely upset with me....
Step 2:( after being accepted) Immitation and Modeling
-immitate him/parralel play-do what he is doing
-goal is for Stinger to eventually do what I am doing when he isnt being told or asked to do it, kwim?
Step 3: Taking turns
-WAIT!!!!! for Stinger to take his turn
I have recognised I talk for Stinger when Dh asks him something or anyone for that matter asks him something-thinking this is helping him, when in actuality it is hurting his progress. :(
So how do we get thsi social habit going you ask?
*Be balanced-do as much as each other
-dont dominate
-stay away from "learned helplessness"
-stay out of the "needs help.....help more" circle
-GIVE STINGER TIME!!!!!
*Be matched-
-what he can do at the moment
this shows support( understanding his world)
-match his playing
-get into routines together: pushing cars, putting toys away,having a snack-
( do what he is doing)
-back and forth routines-will eventually be able to teach him something new to do
goal------> Stinger thinks interaction is worthwhile and FUN! :)
<remember> any interaction is a struggle for Stinger-be grateful for any signs of
-its difficult, frightening, overwhelming for him
-with matched playing we can build confidence-he will finally feel accepted while interacting!:)
<remember>convince staying with people is rewarding and successful
-dont relie on toys-be more exciting and interesting than the distraction
*be responsive
-be patient-not easy for him-celebrate small interactions at first
-for Stinger it might take some time to accept me playing parallel with each other
-will need time fro him to realize Im not imposing changes, but letting him be himself
(I was relieved to see this as I am quiet sure we will have some opposition with this one)
-acting like Stinger enables me to read and connect with him
-Stinger needs to learn to respond to what others do
-peers will not likely stick ard if ignored
*Share control and decisions
-many parenst are pushed away, screamed at, or rejected
-are known for resisting typical kinds of play
*emotionally attached and playful
-appreciate whatever he does
-my job is to be accepted BY HIM
-be silly
---->age appropriate often makes silent and alone
-very sensitive to adult judgements or lack of support
=======>important development:
to BELIEVE they can interact successfully without being judged or told to change
WOW-eh?
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Our First Novel......
Well we have embarked on our first voyage of books without pictures-LOLOLOL:)
It has been a HUGE -AND I MEAN HUGE hit!!!!!So much so that Stinger doesnt want me to put it down. "Mom!!!!! Keep going!!!!!!!" This is what I hear every morning. Im soooooooo pleased-can you tell!!!! LOLOLOL:)
We are reading Indian In The Cupboard. I have to admit that I have been getting into it as well. Dh was downstairs and after we had finished he looked at me, smiled, and said" You are trying so hard." With a big grin on his face. I jokingly asked him if he too was enjoying the story-LOLOLOL. So Its been a big hit and everyone is enjoying it. Monkey Boy I can tell is wanting pictures and sometimes gets bored. I just have to keep asking him questions abt it very animated like and he smiles and sometimes I can real him back in. So its a GO!!! WHOOT!!!LOLOLOL:)
School is going well-Ive been having a hard time getting in all the subjects Im supposed to day after day. Stinger seams to think that after lunch school is done......so Ive tried to shorten teh 1/2 hour breaks afetr every subject and it hasnt been working too well. I tried something on Thursday though. I tried to kinda fit everything into one subject-kinda blended things together so Stinger couldnt really tell it was a different subject. This worked and we got everything done.
I think what I need to do is go over the objectives and incorporate some subjects together as this seams to go smoother and all the objectives that need to be covered are-kwim? Which is basically what homeschoolers who are doing Unit Studies do.....so Im going to look into that a bit more and see if I can find anything that wont break the bank, but kinda groups objectives and subjects together with a common theme. I think Stinger would really enjoy that and it wouldnt be so frustrating for him.
What kinda worries me though is if we get to far away from the school curriculum and what if he goes back-then it would be even harder for him.....But no use festering over something like that -the main objective is him learning and enjoying learning-right? So we will do what we need to do to accomplish this.
Something that has been bothering me is how much do I push to get him up to grade level. K12 is so much info and we can barely make it through everything in teh time we have. So I dont know how he ever can get up to level? Is this something I should even be worrying about?
We took his Phonics assesment and for the first time he didnt pass it. He's having trouble remembering diagraphs(ch, wh, th, etc) and trigraphs(tch) this is what made him not pass this last assesment-he did everything else fine-except he missed all the blends in the words. So that was kinda a bummer-we are going to have to review those this week. But do how long do I spend reviewing if he just cant remember it?
I noticed this week that Flamingo is doing this exact same thing-bringing home worksheets with these sounds. So this is 1st grade level material, and hes having trouble with it.
I guess its no big deal as we can just review and he will get it down-which is the great thing abt homeschooling, but this was just the first assesment he didnt master and it kinda bummed me out as a teacher I guess-kwim? Thinking I failed too-kwim?
O-well just gotta figure this out and manipulate it so he can get it down. Maybee a notebook or something and pictures???Anyone have any ideas? Im open for any and all:)
It has been a HUGE -AND I MEAN HUGE hit!!!!!So much so that Stinger doesnt want me to put it down. "Mom!!!!! Keep going!!!!!!!" This is what I hear every morning. Im soooooooo pleased-can you tell!!!! LOLOLOL:)
We are reading Indian In The Cupboard. I have to admit that I have been getting into it as well. Dh was downstairs and after we had finished he looked at me, smiled, and said" You are trying so hard." With a big grin on his face. I jokingly asked him if he too was enjoying the story-LOLOLOL. So Its been a big hit and everyone is enjoying it. Monkey Boy I can tell is wanting pictures and sometimes gets bored. I just have to keep asking him questions abt it very animated like and he smiles and sometimes I can real him back in. So its a GO!!! WHOOT!!!LOLOLOL:)
School is going well-Ive been having a hard time getting in all the subjects Im supposed to day after day. Stinger seams to think that after lunch school is done......so Ive tried to shorten teh 1/2 hour breaks afetr every subject and it hasnt been working too well. I tried something on Thursday though. I tried to kinda fit everything into one subject-kinda blended things together so Stinger couldnt really tell it was a different subject. This worked and we got everything done.
I think what I need to do is go over the objectives and incorporate some subjects together as this seams to go smoother and all the objectives that need to be covered are-kwim? Which is basically what homeschoolers who are doing Unit Studies do.....so Im going to look into that a bit more and see if I can find anything that wont break the bank, but kinda groups objectives and subjects together with a common theme. I think Stinger would really enjoy that and it wouldnt be so frustrating for him.
What kinda worries me though is if we get to far away from the school curriculum and what if he goes back-then it would be even harder for him.....But no use festering over something like that -the main objective is him learning and enjoying learning-right? So we will do what we need to do to accomplish this.
Something that has been bothering me is how much do I push to get him up to grade level. K12 is so much info and we can barely make it through everything in teh time we have. So I dont know how he ever can get up to level? Is this something I should even be worrying about?
We took his Phonics assesment and for the first time he didnt pass it. He's having trouble remembering diagraphs(ch, wh, th, etc) and trigraphs(tch) this is what made him not pass this last assesment-he did everything else fine-except he missed all the blends in the words. So that was kinda a bummer-we are going to have to review those this week. But do how long do I spend reviewing if he just cant remember it?
I noticed this week that Flamingo is doing this exact same thing-bringing home worksheets with these sounds. So this is 1st grade level material, and hes having trouble with it.
I guess its no big deal as we can just review and he will get it down-which is the great thing abt homeschooling, but this was just the first assesment he didnt master and it kinda bummed me out as a teacher I guess-kwim? Thinking I failed too-kwim?
O-well just gotta figure this out and manipulate it so he can get it down. Maybee a notebook or something and pictures???Anyone have any ideas? Im open for any and all:)
Monday, October 01, 2007
Mothers Overture...
Okay Everyone-I had to share this-its a KEEPER!!!! and oh too funny-yet soooo true!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzZJO3ZRNCo
Enjoy! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzZJO3ZRNCo
Enjoy! :)
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Testing, Testing......1,2,3......
Eigh-yi-yi.........ugh........
Well its Saturday-I think I've re-grouped enough from Friday to go into it...LOLOLOL. So...........
Friday was testing-IOWA testing-3rd, 5th and 8th graders.....and yes-since we are doing K12 homeschooling this is mandatory state testing we are required to take. And yes-I was a bundle of nerves not expecting anything good from it at all.....
We get there-Stinger and I- to Brigham abt 15 minutes early. Stinger is turning into a statue-getting very uncomforteable-hands to his side, sullen look on his face-Nervous doesnt quiet describe it-but basically thats what was happening. We go to the room where there are abt 8 kids in the room-all 3rd graders-no one Stinger has seen before and Stinger REFUSES to go in. Starts walking back down the hallway.
Now mind you-I had thoroughly talked abt this whole situation before hand, went through it step by step. What things would be like, what things would look like, when he would be done, what the teacher would be saying, what the kids would be doing-which was a MAJOR concern of his.
But we both go to the door and immediately Stinger backs up and freezes in his tracks and wont go in. He doesnt like that the kids are looking at him, he doesnt want them to look up at him when he walks in. Now how am I supposed to stop this from happening?????He thinks I can....So there we are its 9 and its time to start the testing and Stinger isnt in the classroom yet.
I walk up to one of the aides there and tell her our situation-which is NOT what I had been planning on, but I had no idea what to do. She calls the Principle and says " we have a child who is refusing to go in" okay can you say ugh.....LOLOLOL, then she tells me that the principle( whom I knowand have talked with numerous times) has granted ME permission to go into the classroom. Parents arent usually allowed to go into the room where the students are testing. So we tell Stinger-still a " No" ...sigh....okay. Plan B: We show him the desk right by the door where he can sit all by himself-we can put up a folder so the other kids cant see him-still a " no"......okay......this negotiating takes abt till 9:35.....Stinger is crying, and starting to get angry and frustrated....and Im starting to get a little worried so..... Plan C: Call Mrs C( shes our in home behavior helper who I am supposed to call if there are any problems anytime) she tells me what needs to happen. Basically it involves giving him a choice , counting to 5, then either he can make a choice or I can get help and make it for him-which means forcing him in there. She tells me she is going to call his therapist and see if he can meet us there.
"Okay"-I say and hang up. I run through this senario in my mind and its not looking pretty-we do NOT want a scene. So I take Stinger down a hallway and get down and talk to him. I tell him what the choices are and NOT taking the test is NOT a choice -so he needs to think abt what choice will get more attention from the other kids. Him going in and sitting down quitely with a folder and me in there-or me having to hold his hand and take him in there making noises and complaining. I was grasping at straws here..but I did NOT want anyone forcing him-touching him to get him in there-so I was saying anything.... I told him I knew it was scary, but that he COULD do this. That he could make the better choice and that no one would notice him or keep looking at him-they were all nervous too and scared just like him. He takes abt 15 minutes to think abt it and then says " oh all right".....WHOOT! *sigh of relief* So I quickly( dont want Stinger to change his mind) inform everyone quitely that we are good to go. Its now 10:00.
After he got in there with his wall of boxes and folders put up for him he did beautifully-it was just a matter of getting him in that silly room of kids. So I call back Mrs C. and tell her I got him in there;)thank goodness....
So...what did I learn from this...its the little things that need to be planned, gone over, understood, explained thoroughly. We didnt go over getting into the room because it wasnt a concern I thought-or wasnt a concern I would have had. I forgot to look at things from Stingers perspective. But its these little things that we dont see or notice that are BIGGIES to him. The test taking wasnt hard for him-it was getting into the room. I seam to forget that typical concerns are never his top concerns....its the same with his sensory things or getting over stimulated-not biggies to us, we dont even think abt them-but they can totally turn his day upside down and all around.
He did so well in the room-I was very proud of him. The teacher in there was so nice-but many things Im sure just flew by him as she talked so fast. And many things were not at his level. But he did soooo well in there. So we ended on a VERY good note-rough start, but strong finish. Good enough for me any day-eh?
Well its Saturday-I think I've re-grouped enough from Friday to go into it...LOLOLOL. So...........
Friday was testing-IOWA testing-3rd, 5th and 8th graders.....and yes-since we are doing K12 homeschooling this is mandatory state testing we are required to take. And yes-I was a bundle of nerves not expecting anything good from it at all.....
We get there-Stinger and I- to Brigham abt 15 minutes early. Stinger is turning into a statue-getting very uncomforteable-hands to his side, sullen look on his face-Nervous doesnt quiet describe it-but basically thats what was happening. We go to the room where there are abt 8 kids in the room-all 3rd graders-no one Stinger has seen before and Stinger REFUSES to go in. Starts walking back down the hallway.
Now mind you-I had thoroughly talked abt this whole situation before hand, went through it step by step. What things would be like, what things would look like, when he would be done, what the teacher would be saying, what the kids would be doing-which was a MAJOR concern of his.
But we both go to the door and immediately Stinger backs up and freezes in his tracks and wont go in. He doesnt like that the kids are looking at him, he doesnt want them to look up at him when he walks in. Now how am I supposed to stop this from happening?????He thinks I can....So there we are its 9 and its time to start the testing and Stinger isnt in the classroom yet.
I walk up to one of the aides there and tell her our situation-which is NOT what I had been planning on, but I had no idea what to do. She calls the Principle and says " we have a child who is refusing to go in" okay can you say ugh.....LOLOLOL, then she tells me that the principle( whom I knowand have talked with numerous times) has granted ME permission to go into the classroom. Parents arent usually allowed to go into the room where the students are testing. So we tell Stinger-still a " No" ...sigh....okay. Plan B: We show him the desk right by the door where he can sit all by himself-we can put up a folder so the other kids cant see him-still a " no"......okay......this negotiating takes abt till 9:35.....Stinger is crying, and starting to get angry and frustrated....and Im starting to get a little worried so..... Plan C: Call Mrs C( shes our in home behavior helper who I am supposed to call if there are any problems anytime) she tells me what needs to happen. Basically it involves giving him a choice , counting to 5, then either he can make a choice or I can get help and make it for him-which means forcing him in there. She tells me she is going to call his therapist and see if he can meet us there.
"Okay"-I say and hang up. I run through this senario in my mind and its not looking pretty-we do NOT want a scene. So I take Stinger down a hallway and get down and talk to him. I tell him what the choices are and NOT taking the test is NOT a choice -so he needs to think abt what choice will get more attention from the other kids. Him going in and sitting down quitely with a folder and me in there-or me having to hold his hand and take him in there making noises and complaining. I was grasping at straws here..but I did NOT want anyone forcing him-touching him to get him in there-so I was saying anything.... I told him I knew it was scary, but that he COULD do this. That he could make the better choice and that no one would notice him or keep looking at him-they were all nervous too and scared just like him. He takes abt 15 minutes to think abt it and then says " oh all right".....WHOOT! *sigh of relief* So I quickly( dont want Stinger to change his mind) inform everyone quitely that we are good to go. Its now 10:00.
After he got in there with his wall of boxes and folders put up for him he did beautifully-it was just a matter of getting him in that silly room of kids. So I call back Mrs C. and tell her I got him in there;)thank goodness....
So...what did I learn from this...its the little things that need to be planned, gone over, understood, explained thoroughly. We didnt go over getting into the room because it wasnt a concern I thought-or wasnt a concern I would have had. I forgot to look at things from Stingers perspective. But its these little things that we dont see or notice that are BIGGIES to him. The test taking wasnt hard for him-it was getting into the room. I seam to forget that typical concerns are never his top concerns....its the same with his sensory things or getting over stimulated-not biggies to us, we dont even think abt them-but they can totally turn his day upside down and all around.
He did so well in the room-I was very proud of him. The teacher in there was so nice-but many things Im sure just flew by him as she talked so fast. And many things were not at his level. But he did soooo well in there. So we ended on a VERY good note-rough start, but strong finish. Good enough for me any day-eh?
Sunday, September 16, 2007
How Were You Raised?
Okay Ill get to the point of this post in a minute.
I just dont understand some things that some parents do. I mean I guess I do, but I dont do these things and Im wondering what did my parents do different-why I am who I am etc.
Dh and I have often talked abt this....and pondered on it quite alot.
The unwritten rules that some people choose not to follow etc. For instance-when you borrow something-give it back! When someone loans you $$ dont wait for that person to ask for it back-give it back as soon as you can. Say you are sorry, say thank you , etc-How hard are these rules you might ask-seams pretty hard for some. Put your self in someone elses shoes. Give someone a break. Try your best at everything you do.
Simple-basic-right?
Well lately we have had some situations come up at the playground while Flamingo is at her soccer game with the two boys-Monkey Boy, and Stinger.
Since being home Stinger is interacting so much better withe his sibs-its as if we have a new Stinger ard here. Its wonderful. But Ive been noticing this new love for his sibs can be quite, how do you say it.......posessive-I guess that is the word.
And we have all been here before. When Stinger has a friend-this is HIS friend and he doesnt want anyone interferring with this relationship. So has been the case at the playground lately. Monkey boy will want to play with an older kid and Stinger doesnt agree with this choice( Stingers rigid rules) of an older play friend and insists that Monkey Boy play with younger kids etc. -not even him, but that Monkey Boy needs to choose friends that are his age etc-not older???
Stinger feels so strongly abt this certain rule that he'll start being mean to these older kids etc-throwing sand, or standing between them and Monkey Boy.
On two seperate occasions I have had a parent( one time Dad and one time a Mom) come up to me and ask if I can do something abt my son. One ladies words: " Are you ----- Mom? " I reply yes, " Well -he is throwing sand and is bugging my son or daughter. Would you please grab him" ...sigh.....
Okay I had just talked to him-called him over an he hadnt thrown any sand at anyone after I talked with him-yet this mother wanted me to take him off the playground so her son could play......and she fully expected me to do this even though Stinger had stopped.
#1-I have NEVER in all my LIFE ever gone up to another parent and said their child had been doing so and so-would they solve it etc. NEVER.
what is the logical thing I do?-I remove my child from another child if I see something like this taking place, but I dont need any parent telling me what to do or how to handle things their way or how they see fit. Oh-it torks me.
My friend Laura was there( she has an Aspie son herself) and she just rolled her eyes and we talked a bit abt parents and how we dont do this and this. She actually told me some parenst tell her to have her child apoligize. oh..........Id loose it.
See-we are parents too. We know what is right or wrong, we know when an apoligy is needed from our children-and we would hope that any child who did wrong to our child would appoligize as well-but we DONT ask for it-good grief. And we sure as heck dont need some " all knowing, my child is better than yours attitude and Im a better parent attitude" telling us what and how to handle our kids.
Okay-Im just getting all rilled up here-LOLOL-can you tell???
LOLOLOLOL
But anyway-Laura was raised as I was where you just dont correct a parent like that. I think we "typicals";) understand that that parent is trying the best they can and its not our place to take charge in their area. So we simply remove our children. And yes, thats what I would have done if it had happend to Flamingo or Monkey Boy-but no-there are others who feel its their duty to set everyone straight. ugh....
At church for instance-the lady who tells you as a mom" would you mind quiting your children" Ugh-its THESE people-who really get under my skin....LOLOL I just wish people would just leave it be
Maybee im off my rocker-wouldnt be the first time-LOLOL, but Ill sit and rock-right along with Laura :P
I just dont understand some things that some parents do. I mean I guess I do, but I dont do these things and Im wondering what did my parents do different-why I am who I am etc.
Dh and I have often talked abt this....and pondered on it quite alot.
The unwritten rules that some people choose not to follow etc. For instance-when you borrow something-give it back! When someone loans you $$ dont wait for that person to ask for it back-give it back as soon as you can. Say you are sorry, say thank you , etc-How hard are these rules you might ask-seams pretty hard for some. Put your self in someone elses shoes. Give someone a break. Try your best at everything you do.
Simple-basic-right?
Well lately we have had some situations come up at the playground while Flamingo is at her soccer game with the two boys-Monkey Boy, and Stinger.
Since being home Stinger is interacting so much better withe his sibs-its as if we have a new Stinger ard here. Its wonderful. But Ive been noticing this new love for his sibs can be quite, how do you say it.......posessive-I guess that is the word.
And we have all been here before. When Stinger has a friend-this is HIS friend and he doesnt want anyone interferring with this relationship. So has been the case at the playground lately. Monkey boy will want to play with an older kid and Stinger doesnt agree with this choice( Stingers rigid rules) of an older play friend and insists that Monkey Boy play with younger kids etc. -not even him, but that Monkey Boy needs to choose friends that are his age etc-not older???
Stinger feels so strongly abt this certain rule that he'll start being mean to these older kids etc-throwing sand, or standing between them and Monkey Boy.
On two seperate occasions I have had a parent( one time Dad and one time a Mom) come up to me and ask if I can do something abt my son. One ladies words: " Are you ----- Mom? " I reply yes, " Well -he is throwing sand and is bugging my son or daughter. Would you please grab him" ...sigh.....
Okay I had just talked to him-called him over an he hadnt thrown any sand at anyone after I talked with him-yet this mother wanted me to take him off the playground so her son could play......and she fully expected me to do this even though Stinger had stopped.
#1-I have NEVER in all my LIFE ever gone up to another parent and said their child had been doing so and so-would they solve it etc. NEVER.
what is the logical thing I do?-I remove my child from another child if I see something like this taking place, but I dont need any parent telling me what to do or how to handle things their way or how they see fit. Oh-it torks me.
My friend Laura was there( she has an Aspie son herself) and she just rolled her eyes and we talked a bit abt parents and how we dont do this and this. She actually told me some parenst tell her to have her child apoligize. oh..........Id loose it.
See-we are parents too. We know what is right or wrong, we know when an apoligy is needed from our children-and we would hope that any child who did wrong to our child would appoligize as well-but we DONT ask for it-good grief. And we sure as heck dont need some " all knowing, my child is better than yours attitude and Im a better parent attitude" telling us what and how to handle our kids.
Okay-Im just getting all rilled up here-LOLOL-can you tell???
LOLOLOLOL
But anyway-Laura was raised as I was where you just dont correct a parent like that. I think we "typicals";) understand that that parent is trying the best they can and its not our place to take charge in their area. So we simply remove our children. And yes, thats what I would have done if it had happend to Flamingo or Monkey Boy-but no-there are others who feel its their duty to set everyone straight. ugh....
At church for instance-the lady who tells you as a mom" would you mind quiting your children" Ugh-its THESE people-who really get under my skin....LOLOL I just wish people would just leave it be
Maybee im off my rocker-wouldnt be the first time-LOLOL, but Ill sit and rock-right along with Laura :P
Monday, September 10, 2007
Socialization issues...Okay-I like this lady....check it out:
Socialization and Children with Asperger Syndrome
Anybody who has been homeschooling more than twenty minutes knows that the most popular probing question from the masses is: "And what about socialization?"
This is an especially bothersome question for families affected by Asperger Syndrome who want to homeschool. Since lack of social skills is one of the hallmarks of the child with AS, people naturally assume that keeping a child home instead of exposing him to the social climate of school will just worsen the situation.
The reverse is true, in my opinion, for the following reasons:
1. School has people, but that doesn't make it social. In fact, it is usually fairly anti-social since kids can be very cruel and bullies seem to be an ever-present part of the school experience. What is social about exposing our children to daily torment? Nothing. Children with Asperger Syndrome are natural targets for bullies and the situation frequently results in a tantrum, depression or violence, all of which could have been prevented by avoiding this "social" atmosphere.
2. Homeschooling does not mean denying social experiences. To the uninitiated, homeschooling conjures a picture of cloistering your child at home all the time. For most homeschoolers, nothing could be further from the truth. There are trips to the library and the park, gatherings with other homeschoolers, and lessons and clubs that tie in with the child's interests. And, we still live in neighborhoods, still have extended family and friends, church and other social obligations. Homeschooling does not mean restricted movement but rather greater flexibility.
3. Social experiences tend to be more positive when done through home education. As homeschooling parents, we can monitor social gatherings to keep them positive. That is, we can pick and choose the activities, watch for bullies and intervene, head off other kinds of trouble, and teach our children with spontaneous social lessons "in the moment," (or make a note to discuss things later). In short, we are on deck. Finally and perhaps most importantly, we can steer our children gently homeward before sensory overload undermines the whole event. In school, our kids do not get the luxury of this kind of protection or customized teaching. It's usually a case of "sink or swim." Our kids tend to do more sinking than swimming.
4. Homeschoolers may get more social opportunities out of their day. When we homeschooled, my son was in the comfort zone of his home surroundings for mornings of academic work, and that still left him with some energy in the afternoons and evenings to try other things. Parks department classes, bowling league, swimming lessons, and Boy Scouts were just some of the things he tried. When we stopped homeschooling and put him into a regular school, however, these fell away. He was too burned out from the school day to do anything else, and quit all outside activities. Although he'd wanted to try public school and did fine academically, the tradeoff was that he gained some very negative social experiences and lost some very positive ones.
5. The idea that our kids need the classroom experience of having positive role models around them every day is suspect. It's true that positive role models are better than negative ones, but just placing our kids alongside peer-age so-called normal kids does not mean that they will intuitively pick up on proper behavior. In fact, their condition of Asperger Syndrome means they will NOT pick things up intuitively. Things like social graces, body language and speech pragmatics must be consciously, deliberately, and specifically taught, bit by bit. Unless the child has a one-to-one aide to provide full-time tutelage in these things and allow ample rehearsal time, not many social skills will be picked up. Contrast that with the home environment, where the parent does have the time and patience to teach these things and can provide a safe place for rehearsing them.
6. Finally, we need to measure by a different yardstick. Our kids with Asperger Syndrome do not typically need or want the same level of social interaction than their neurologically typical peers do. Not everyone wants to be surrounded by others all day long, have large parties, or a dozen friends. Many of us (self included) cherish solitude, are happiest in our own company and function better with fewer social interactions. This is not abnormal, only different, and it should be honored. It is far better to have a little interaction and look forward to more another day, than to have too much interaction and suffer devastating consequences.
In short, parents can rest easy that their home education program is probably doing more for their child's socialization than a public school counterpart could. The only dark side, and there is a dark side, is that our children will probably never be totally at ease in social situations and will always have a few challenges, no matter what we do. Asperger Syndrome is, after all, a lifelong condition. And because of that, there will always be someone ready to proclaim why our child seems socially inept. "It must be because he was homeschooled!" they will cluelessly proclaim. Sometimes, you just can't win.
Copyright 2002 Lise Pyles
Anybody who has been homeschooling more than twenty minutes knows that the most popular probing question from the masses is: "And what about socialization?"
This is an especially bothersome question for families affected by Asperger Syndrome who want to homeschool. Since lack of social skills is one of the hallmarks of the child with AS, people naturally assume that keeping a child home instead of exposing him to the social climate of school will just worsen the situation.
The reverse is true, in my opinion, for the following reasons:
1. School has people, but that doesn't make it social. In fact, it is usually fairly anti-social since kids can be very cruel and bullies seem to be an ever-present part of the school experience. What is social about exposing our children to daily torment? Nothing. Children with Asperger Syndrome are natural targets for bullies and the situation frequently results in a tantrum, depression or violence, all of which could have been prevented by avoiding this "social" atmosphere.
2. Homeschooling does not mean denying social experiences. To the uninitiated, homeschooling conjures a picture of cloistering your child at home all the time. For most homeschoolers, nothing could be further from the truth. There are trips to the library and the park, gatherings with other homeschoolers, and lessons and clubs that tie in with the child's interests. And, we still live in neighborhoods, still have extended family and friends, church and other social obligations. Homeschooling does not mean restricted movement but rather greater flexibility.
3. Social experiences tend to be more positive when done through home education. As homeschooling parents, we can monitor social gatherings to keep them positive. That is, we can pick and choose the activities, watch for bullies and intervene, head off other kinds of trouble, and teach our children with spontaneous social lessons "in the moment," (or make a note to discuss things later). In short, we are on deck. Finally and perhaps most importantly, we can steer our children gently homeward before sensory overload undermines the whole event. In school, our kids do not get the luxury of this kind of protection or customized teaching. It's usually a case of "sink or swim." Our kids tend to do more sinking than swimming.
4. Homeschoolers may get more social opportunities out of their day. When we homeschooled, my son was in the comfort zone of his home surroundings for mornings of academic work, and that still left him with some energy in the afternoons and evenings to try other things. Parks department classes, bowling league, swimming lessons, and Boy Scouts were just some of the things he tried. When we stopped homeschooling and put him into a regular school, however, these fell away. He was too burned out from the school day to do anything else, and quit all outside activities. Although he'd wanted to try public school and did fine academically, the tradeoff was that he gained some very negative social experiences and lost some very positive ones.
5. The idea that our kids need the classroom experience of having positive role models around them every day is suspect. It's true that positive role models are better than negative ones, but just placing our kids alongside peer-age so-called normal kids does not mean that they will intuitively pick up on proper behavior. In fact, their condition of Asperger Syndrome means they will NOT pick things up intuitively. Things like social graces, body language and speech pragmatics must be consciously, deliberately, and specifically taught, bit by bit. Unless the child has a one-to-one aide to provide full-time tutelage in these things and allow ample rehearsal time, not many social skills will be picked up. Contrast that with the home environment, where the parent does have the time and patience to teach these things and can provide a safe place for rehearsing them.
6. Finally, we need to measure by a different yardstick. Our kids with Asperger Syndrome do not typically need or want the same level of social interaction than their neurologically typical peers do. Not everyone wants to be surrounded by others all day long, have large parties, or a dozen friends. Many of us (self included) cherish solitude, are happiest in our own company and function better with fewer social interactions. This is not abnormal, only different, and it should be honored. It is far better to have a little interaction and look forward to more another day, than to have too much interaction and suffer devastating consequences.
In short, parents can rest easy that their home education program is probably doing more for their child's socialization than a public school counterpart could. The only dark side, and there is a dark side, is that our children will probably never be totally at ease in social situations and will always have a few challenges, no matter what we do. Asperger Syndrome is, after all, a lifelong condition. And because of that, there will always be someone ready to proclaim why our child seems socially inept. "It must be because he was homeschooled!" they will cluelessly proclaim. Sometimes, you just can't win.
Copyright 2002 Lise Pyles
Sunday, September 09, 2007
cute song....
Someone in another group I'm in shared this and I thought you guys would enjoy.
The Homeschool Moms who Can't Do Everything
Sung to the tune of Veggie Tales "The Pirates who Don't Do Anything."
All 3 Moms:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everything
We'll just tell you
We can't do everything
Mom2:
Well, I've never been to Boston and I've never shot a musket,
and I've never built a cabin using nothing but an axe,
and I've never skinned a possum, and I've never staged a battle,
and I've never started home school before fall!
All:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everything
We'll just tell you...
Mom3:
We can't do everything!
And I've never distilled water, and I've never banded birdies,
and I've never built an ant farm 'cuz I can't stand things that crawl,
and I've never dug a fossil, and I've never owned a test tube,
and I've never started home school before fall!
All:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everythingWe'll just tell you
We can't do everything
Mom1:
And I've never slaughtered chickens, and I've never milked a go-oat,
and I've never gone to 4-H or the local county fair,
and I've never sewn a jumper, and I don't look good in denim,
and I've never started home school before fall!
Mom2:
Huh? What are you talking about?
What's a milk goat and denim jumpersgot to do with being a home school mom?
Mom3:
Hey, that's right!
We're supposed to sing about academic-y things!
Mom1:
Oh...
Mom2:
And who ever sews school uniforms? That's impossible!
Why even bringit up? Am I right? What do you think?
Mom3:
I think you should do your laundry.
Mom2:
Huh? Why do you think that?
Mom3:
You should...
Mom2:
Don't wanna!
Mom3:
You wore that shirt yesterday!
Mom2:
That's it, you're going to help me!
Mom3:
Says who?
Mom2:
Says ME, that's who!
Mom3:
Oh yeah? Well I'm not picking up your socks! (pinches her own nose)
Mom2: Argh!
Mom3: Yike!
Mom1:
and I've never done gymnastics, and I've never danced the polka,
and I've never painted daisies 'cause I cannot paint at all,
and I've never made a schedule, and my house is never perfect...
Mom2:
It'll never happen!
All:
And we've never started home school before fall!
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everythingWe'll just tell you
We can't do everything
Mom2:
Pass the pencils! Who's got the teacher's guide?
Mom1: Here it is! (holds up shredded paper)
Mom3: (groans, then smiles with sudden inspiration) Time for recess!
Mom2: It's definitely time for Scotch tape.
Mom3: Oh, I don't like that stuff...
Mom1: Hey, look! I found a crayon!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He-He! LOLOLOL-Pretty funny-eh ;)
The Homeschool Moms who Can't Do Everything
Sung to the tune of Veggie Tales "The Pirates who Don't Do Anything."
All 3 Moms:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everything
We'll just tell you
We can't do everything
Mom2:
Well, I've never been to Boston and I've never shot a musket,
and I've never built a cabin using nothing but an axe,
and I've never skinned a possum, and I've never staged a battle,
and I've never started home school before fall!
All:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everything
We'll just tell you...
Mom3:
We can't do everything!
And I've never distilled water, and I've never banded birdies,
and I've never built an ant farm 'cuz I can't stand things that crawl,
and I've never dug a fossil, and I've never owned a test tube,
and I've never started home school before fall!
All:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everythingWe'll just tell you
We can't do everything
Mom1:
And I've never slaughtered chickens, and I've never milked a go-oat,
and I've never gone to 4-H or the local county fair,
and I've never sewn a jumper, and I don't look good in denim,
and I've never started home school before fall!
Mom2:
Huh? What are you talking about?
What's a milk goat and denim jumpersgot to do with being a home school mom?
Mom3:
Hey, that's right!
We're supposed to sing about academic-y things!
Mom1:
Oh...
Mom2:
And who ever sews school uniforms? That's impossible!
Why even bringit up? Am I right? What do you think?
Mom3:
I think you should do your laundry.
Mom2:
Huh? Why do you think that?
Mom3:
You should...
Mom2:
Don't wanna!
Mom3:
You wore that shirt yesterday!
Mom2:
That's it, you're going to help me!
Mom3:
Says who?
Mom2:
Says ME, that's who!
Mom3:
Oh yeah? Well I'm not picking up your socks! (pinches her own nose)
Mom2: Argh!
Mom3: Yike!
Mom1:
and I've never done gymnastics, and I've never danced the polka,
and I've never painted daisies 'cause I cannot paint at all,
and I've never made a schedule, and my house is never perfect...
Mom2:
It'll never happen!
All:
And we've never started home school before fall!
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everythingWe'll just tell you
We can't do everything
Mom2:
Pass the pencils! Who's got the teacher's guide?
Mom1: Here it is! (holds up shredded paper)
Mom3: (groans, then smiles with sudden inspiration) Time for recess!
Mom2: It's definitely time for Scotch tape.
Mom3: Oh, I don't like that stuff...
Mom1: Hey, look! I found a crayon!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He-He! LOLOLOL-Pretty funny-eh ;)
Saturday, September 01, 2007
A Cruel World
This was on Lisa's blog today. (she's on one of my favorites list links)
She lives a town over from us.
It made my eyes water at how cruel people can be and how strong a woman Lisa is-she is a wonderful Mother to her son-I love reading her blog. Her words ALWAYS touch me so deep-she is an inspiring woman-whom I so greatly adore and look up to. She has gone through alot with the P. schools as well-and I have come to retreat in her arms on a couple of occasions. As you read this excerpt from her blog-you will understand why she is such an inspiration to me. She lifts you up with her words and thoughts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How dare you stand there before me in your dark blue conservative suit, like you are a normal person.
How dare, you so easily say the words that come out of your mouth, soft and pleasant, but dripping with judgements, in a trial you know nothing about?
How can you ... speak and say, such unspeakable things to me? How can you think them?I stand here, staring at you. S'mee told me, I could throw plates, I can picture myself, throwing them at your head.
I wonder if you know... if you have any idea, how hurtful your words are? I wonder, who else have you said them too?How can you suggest, that medically life saving, technology shouldn't be used? How can you ask me, if I wish I had aborted my child? How can you say horrible things?How do you look at yourself in the mirror? How can you call yourself a man of God?
How can you pretend to even be human?My heart is beating a million beats a minute. I can't breath.A vain of hate inside of me, is curdling, and I feel hot. Why do I think there is a place in my soul that won't ever recover?I turn to leave. The words I want to spew at you... on the tip of my tongue. I want to hit you.In the middle of your thoughtless, horrific tirade of the injustices of life, as you list my childs fault's and suggest that God obviously didn't want him to live... and asking me why I chose to fight that..
.I turn back around and face you...
In mid sentence I take a step forward...
You back up.. like the yellow bellied toad that you are...
though you stand a foot in height above me...
you take a step back..
and I get closer.. and you shut up.
(Finally)And I don't say anything... I want to.
I don't scream the words of hate that are inside my heart. I can't force them..
I say, "I'm sorry."
Deep, long drawn in breath.
I stare right into your eyes...
"I am sorry, that you will never feel Heaven in your home. I'm sorry that you will never, ever understand the eternal beauty that exists in mine. You will never ever EVER, love your children, the way I love mine. You will never, understand that a perfect life, is really, no life at all."
As I turned to walk away, I could feel the sweet enveloping peace fill me. The kind that comes after a long day of hard work, where you know you've been doing, what needs to be done. The kind, you feel when you enter a church . The sweet, delicious feeling of our Savior walking beside me.The horrible darkness, gone.. and the peace returned.I have this tunnel vision, where I can glance down the road.
I see my beloved childhood friend, Yolanda, a black, beautiful young kindergartener who wore the same dress as I did, the first day of school, which of course instantly bonded us... and I wonder? Has she felt this way? Has someone ever in her lifetime, made her feel small and weak, because of her skin tone? Or what about Mrs. Fripp, who lives in the corner house, alone, elderly with no one to help her out, much. Has she felt discrimination? Has anyone thought of her as ailing and not useful?
Just as this Mister, has never understood, love, sacrifice, eternal prospectives, and real joy, I've never, never felt ... hated, just for being who I am. Rather than for something I had done. Or even believed in.I truly do feel for him. The blinders he has chosen to wear, will be his fall from grace. Whether it happens slowly, or quickly, privately or where all that know him can see, his life, something, someday ... will shake him.. and all that he knows... and he... will remember, our conversation. And he'll *get* it-
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-----You are the woman we strive to be Lisa-thank you for your encouragement, wisdom and love{{HUGS}}
She lives a town over from us.
It made my eyes water at how cruel people can be and how strong a woman Lisa is-she is a wonderful Mother to her son-I love reading her blog. Her words ALWAYS touch me so deep-she is an inspiring woman-whom I so greatly adore and look up to. She has gone through alot with the P. schools as well-and I have come to retreat in her arms on a couple of occasions. As you read this excerpt from her blog-you will understand why she is such an inspiration to me. She lifts you up with her words and thoughts.
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"How dare you stand there before me in your dark blue conservative suit, like you are a normal person.
How dare, you so easily say the words that come out of your mouth, soft and pleasant, but dripping with judgements, in a trial you know nothing about?
How can you ... speak and say, such unspeakable things to me? How can you think them?I stand here, staring at you. S'mee told me, I could throw plates, I can picture myself, throwing them at your head.
I wonder if you know... if you have any idea, how hurtful your words are? I wonder, who else have you said them too?How can you suggest, that medically life saving, technology shouldn't be used? How can you ask me, if I wish I had aborted my child? How can you say horrible things?How do you look at yourself in the mirror? How can you call yourself a man of God?
How can you pretend to even be human?My heart is beating a million beats a minute. I can't breath.A vain of hate inside of me, is curdling, and I feel hot. Why do I think there is a place in my soul that won't ever recover?I turn to leave. The words I want to spew at you... on the tip of my tongue. I want to hit you.In the middle of your thoughtless, horrific tirade of the injustices of life, as you list my childs fault's and suggest that God obviously didn't want him to live... and asking me why I chose to fight that..
.I turn back around and face you...
In mid sentence I take a step forward...
You back up.. like the yellow bellied toad that you are...
though you stand a foot in height above me...
you take a step back..
and I get closer.. and you shut up.
(Finally)And I don't say anything... I want to.
I don't scream the words of hate that are inside my heart. I can't force them..
I say, "I'm sorry."
Deep, long drawn in breath.
I stare right into your eyes...
"I am sorry, that you will never feel Heaven in your home. I'm sorry that you will never, ever understand the eternal beauty that exists in mine. You will never ever EVER, love your children, the way I love mine. You will never, understand that a perfect life, is really, no life at all."
As I turned to walk away, I could feel the sweet enveloping peace fill me. The kind that comes after a long day of hard work, where you know you've been doing, what needs to be done. The kind, you feel when you enter a church . The sweet, delicious feeling of our Savior walking beside me.The horrible darkness, gone.. and the peace returned.I have this tunnel vision, where I can glance down the road.
I see my beloved childhood friend, Yolanda, a black, beautiful young kindergartener who wore the same dress as I did, the first day of school, which of course instantly bonded us... and I wonder? Has she felt this way? Has someone ever in her lifetime, made her feel small and weak, because of her skin tone? Or what about Mrs. Fripp, who lives in the corner house, alone, elderly with no one to help her out, much. Has she felt discrimination? Has anyone thought of her as ailing and not useful?
Just as this Mister, has never understood, love, sacrifice, eternal prospectives, and real joy, I've never, never felt ... hated, just for being who I am. Rather than for something I had done. Or even believed in.I truly do feel for him. The blinders he has chosen to wear, will be his fall from grace. Whether it happens slowly, or quickly, privately or where all that know him can see, his life, something, someday ... will shake him.. and all that he knows... and he... will remember, our conversation. And he'll *get* it-
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-----You are the woman we strive to be Lisa-thank you for your encouragement, wisdom and love{{HUGS}}
LOVE NOTES FOR MOMS----- Day 1--YOU"RE STRONG!!!!
Okay-I found these sights today and Im posting them-for me-every day :)
Its like having a good pep talk-and we all need those right? ;)
YOU'RE STRONG
How often has it happened -- an acquaintance hears your story or sees your child and says, "I'm not as strong as you. I could never deal with all the things you deal with." And you shake your head modestly, and brush it off, and maybe even feel a little condescended to. But you know what? They're right. You're strong. You're facing things that the average parent doesn't even want to imagine, and you're handling them. Whether you were strong to begin with or had strength thrust upon you by necessity, you're one strong parent, one strong person. Your family needs that strength, your children thrive on it. You may wish you never had to be so strong. But appreciate that strength now. It makes you special. Capable. A force to be reckoned with.
Day 1
READ: "We ought to approach the problem of children's disobedience and disruptive behavior with the same imagination, intellect, and patience that we use, say, to close a business deal, find a cure for cancer, or land on Mars. We shouldn't reserve for our children our least creative, least intelligent, and least controlled methods for solving problems." -- from Delivered from Distraction by Edward M Hallowell, MD, and John J. Ratey, MD •
REFLECT: Am I hesitant to use my imagination when dealing with my child's behavior? When did I last have an idea for handling my child that really worked?
RESPOND: Try to implement one creative solution for your child today -- add to your "bag of tricks"; choose realistic goals; customize a behavior chart to his or her needs and interests.
Its like having a good pep talk-and we all need those right? ;)
YOU'RE STRONG
How often has it happened -- an acquaintance hears your story or sees your child and says, "I'm not as strong as you. I could never deal with all the things you deal with." And you shake your head modestly, and brush it off, and maybe even feel a little condescended to. But you know what? They're right. You're strong. You're facing things that the average parent doesn't even want to imagine, and you're handling them. Whether you were strong to begin with or had strength thrust upon you by necessity, you're one strong parent, one strong person. Your family needs that strength, your children thrive on it. You may wish you never had to be so strong. But appreciate that strength now. It makes you special. Capable. A force to be reckoned with.
Day 1
READ: "We ought to approach the problem of children's disobedience and disruptive behavior with the same imagination, intellect, and patience that we use, say, to close a business deal, find a cure for cancer, or land on Mars. We shouldn't reserve for our children our least creative, least intelligent, and least controlled methods for solving problems." -- from Delivered from Distraction by Edward M Hallowell, MD, and John J. Ratey, MD •
REFLECT: Am I hesitant to use my imagination when dealing with my child's behavior? When did I last have an idea for handling my child that really worked?
RESPOND: Try to implement one creative solution for your child today -- add to your "bag of tricks"; choose realistic goals; customize a behavior chart to his or her needs and interests.
Invisible.....
"I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, theway one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to betaken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweepingthe floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see meat all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but nowthey had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going... she's going ... she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, andshe was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not tocompare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a clip and I was afraid I could actuallysmell peanut butter in it.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly surewhy she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which Icould pattern my work:
(1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
(2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
(3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
(4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny birdon the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof?No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As oneof the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book wentso far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for threehours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built ashrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then,if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world willmarvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to theworld by the sacrifices of invisible women.
God Bless You as you build your Cathedrals!"
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I LOOOOOOOOOVED this-can you all relate to this as much as I do? :)
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, theway one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to betaken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweepingthe floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see meat all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but nowthey had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going... she's going ... she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, andshe was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not tocompare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a clip and I was afraid I could actuallysmell peanut butter in it.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly surewhy she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which Icould pattern my work:
(1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
(2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
(3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
(4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny birdon the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof?No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As oneof the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book wentso far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for threehours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built ashrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then,if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world willmarvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to theworld by the sacrifices of invisible women.
God Bless You as you build your Cathedrals!"
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I LOOOOOOOOOVED this-can you all relate to this as much as I do? :)
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Autism Paradox :)
The Autism Paradox
1.It's easy to recite an entire book but difficult to make up a story
2.It's easy to line up toys but difficult to stay in line
3.It makes perfect sense to climb on the sofa but little sense to sit on it
4.Memorizing the Presidents in order - 10 minutes. Packing a school bag - 10 hours
5.Family pictures on the wall are boring but that speck of dust next to it, now that's fascinating!
6.Talking about weather patterns - piece of cake. Talking about my day… impossible!
7.Ability to focus on spinning objects - timeless, ability to focus on homework - 3 seconds
8.Being called by name, can't hear it. Some owl hooting in the distance - clear as a bell
9.How to operate the remote control - zero instruction. How to button up pants - intensive instruction
10.Navigating social rules - poorly skilled, Navigating from the back seat of the car - highly skilled
:)
1.It's easy to recite an entire book but difficult to make up a story
2.It's easy to line up toys but difficult to stay in line
3.It makes perfect sense to climb on the sofa but little sense to sit on it
4.Memorizing the Presidents in order - 10 minutes. Packing a school bag - 10 hours
5.Family pictures on the wall are boring but that speck of dust next to it, now that's fascinating!
6.Talking about weather patterns - piece of cake. Talking about my day… impossible!
7.Ability to focus on spinning objects - timeless, ability to focus on homework - 3 seconds
8.Being called by name, can't hear it. Some owl hooting in the distance - clear as a bell
9.How to operate the remote control - zero instruction. How to button up pants - intensive instruction
10.Navigating social rules - poorly skilled, Navigating from the back seat of the car - highly skilled
:)
Schools Just Ard the Corner...Maybee???LOLOLOL
Well surprise...surprise-I STILL dont have materials for Stinger. 3subjects are incomplete, but the materials are in Logan-so should be getting some on Monday or Tuesday..sigh.....yes, my fault-for getting my act together so late in the game.....
Ive been going over soem of the lesson plans and it looks like sooo much fun-work....but FUN! Still havent come up with a schedule but hers what Im thinking so far:
Schedule
- breakfast-then school starts at 8
1. Bible devotions-coloring -maybee during breakfast
2.Math(first thing as its sooo frustrating for Stinger-hopefully we can change this,- and hes at his best in the Morning)
-break/math games
3. phonics /Language-(go over story -night before)
-break/gym with Dad
LUNCH break/outside play
5. Science and nature notebook/History(switch every other day)
-break
6. Music/Art(switch every other day)
- break-snack
4. Speech-learning games, conversations/ life skills(switch every other day)
As you can see our mornings are going to be harder-but I want our afternoons to be something he can look forward to-fun subjects etc-more relaxed, etc. Hes more open to learning in the morning too-which should work well how I have it I guess...
Its going to be very relaxed all day-I want to make it as least stressful as I can-I want to make SURE he understands that hes not going to have to sit in his seat all day or else -etc.-kwim? We will probably keep to the same hours as Flamingo is at school.
Im getting SOOO excited, and Im sooo frustrated that his materials arent here yet!!!!!:( Hes wanting school to start tomorrow-same as Flamingo-so we will see I guess-I guess we could go over expectations, routines etc-things to prepare him for, speech and life-skills, supplies for school etc-maybee we will do that until his stuff comes hed enjoy that I think....
Flamingo is sooo excited abt going back to school :) She cant stop talking about everything and abt all day school.....:(which is good I guess-LOLOLOL She has already gotten her school box together and has decorated it all pretty with stickers-LOLOLOL
Monkey boy is excited too-I bought the same school supplies for everyone-and he is all excited abt starting with Stinger :) He will have basically the same schedule as Stinger-yet relaxed work etc-but we will be teaching the same subjects at the same time etc-which will work well I think.....
I still have to laminate a couple of things-calendar, weather sheets. I need to get that box divider cut out for the kitchen table.
I found some really cool worksheets that you punch out and then when you get done punching(complete) then it signals break time etc. I think this will work well for Stinger so he knows what he needs to complete and what comes next.
So Ive still got some work and prep to do...but its all so much fun!!!!:)
Tomorrow Ill be going with Flamingo to breakfast and then taking her to her class. Im sure Ill be again having to remind her to say goodbye to me.....sigh...LOLOLOL. Im excited for her though :)
Tonight we have a picnic to go to, so I need to go and get things ready.
Hope everyone has a wonderful 1st day of school, work, as well :)
Ive been going over soem of the lesson plans and it looks like sooo much fun-work....but FUN! Still havent come up with a schedule but hers what Im thinking so far:
Schedule
- breakfast-then school starts at 8
1. Bible devotions-coloring -maybee during breakfast
2.Math(first thing as its sooo frustrating for Stinger-hopefully we can change this,- and hes at his best in the Morning)
-break/math games
3. phonics /Language-(go over story -night before)
-break/gym with Dad
LUNCH break/outside play
5. Science and nature notebook/History(switch every other day)
-break
6. Music/Art(switch every other day)
- break-snack
4. Speech-learning games, conversations/ life skills(switch every other day)
As you can see our mornings are going to be harder-but I want our afternoons to be something he can look forward to-fun subjects etc-more relaxed, etc. Hes more open to learning in the morning too-which should work well how I have it I guess...
Its going to be very relaxed all day-I want to make it as least stressful as I can-I want to make SURE he understands that hes not going to have to sit in his seat all day or else -etc.-kwim? We will probably keep to the same hours as Flamingo is at school.
Im getting SOOO excited, and Im sooo frustrated that his materials arent here yet!!!!!:( Hes wanting school to start tomorrow-same as Flamingo-so we will see I guess-I guess we could go over expectations, routines etc-things to prepare him for, speech and life-skills, supplies for school etc-maybee we will do that until his stuff comes hed enjoy that I think....
Flamingo is sooo excited abt going back to school :) She cant stop talking about everything and abt all day school.....:(which is good I guess-LOLOLOL She has already gotten her school box together and has decorated it all pretty with stickers-LOLOLOL
Monkey boy is excited too-I bought the same school supplies for everyone-and he is all excited abt starting with Stinger :) He will have basically the same schedule as Stinger-yet relaxed work etc-but we will be teaching the same subjects at the same time etc-which will work well I think.....
I still have to laminate a couple of things-calendar, weather sheets. I need to get that box divider cut out for the kitchen table.
I found some really cool worksheets that you punch out and then when you get done punching(complete) then it signals break time etc. I think this will work well for Stinger so he knows what he needs to complete and what comes next.
So Ive still got some work and prep to do...but its all so much fun!!!!:)
Tomorrow Ill be going with Flamingo to breakfast and then taking her to her class. Im sure Ill be again having to remind her to say goodbye to me.....sigh...LOLOLOL. Im excited for her though :)
Tonight we have a picnic to go to, so I need to go and get things ready.
Hope everyone has a wonderful 1st day of school, work, as well :)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Look-theres people out there like us!!!!!!!
I got this today and I just wanted to reach out and hug this woman-I dont know who she is-but she says everything Im feeling......now if we could just live in the same state! LOLOLOL
Anyway her words touched me:
"
I agree that it's necessary for us as parents to re-evaluate what's happening to our kids when R&S are used. HOWEVER, we shouldn't HAVE to be put into a situation whereby we are forced into making the decision to remove our kids from school or look into "alternate education" to keep our kids safe.
They are LEGALLY entitled to the same services as non-disabled individuals under state and federal laws and it is beyond time someone holds them accountable and stops these practices.
Yes, I've decided to pull my daughter out for her safety, but this isn't over yet - not by a long shot, and I hope someday there will be a plan in effect with people I trust to return her to school. I won't stop fighting for that, but I won't put her life in jeopardy again either.
She's a smart little girl and she misses her school friends and going to school with her sisters, and can't understand why THEY are allowed to go and SHE'S not.I also know that just because my daughter is no longer in that environment, that doesn't mean OTHER kids with disabilities are not experiencing R&S.
This also has to stop. I hate that my family and I have been put into this position - with virtually no choice. I'm all for having alternatives to the current educational system - whether that is home schooling or some other alternate schooling (such as Cyber Charter Schools), but I would have appreiciated having the choice of remaining in a "safe" public school, which my taxes help pay to operate.
Anyway her words touched me:
"
I agree that it's necessary for us as parents to re-evaluate what's happening to our kids when R&S are used. HOWEVER, we shouldn't HAVE to be put into a situation whereby we are forced into making the decision to remove our kids from school or look into "alternate education" to keep our kids safe.
They are LEGALLY entitled to the same services as non-disabled individuals under state and federal laws and it is beyond time someone holds them accountable and stops these practices.
Yes, I've decided to pull my daughter out for her safety, but this isn't over yet - not by a long shot, and I hope someday there will be a plan in effect with people I trust to return her to school. I won't stop fighting for that, but I won't put her life in jeopardy again either.
She's a smart little girl and she misses her school friends and going to school with her sisters, and can't understand why THEY are allowed to go and SHE'S not.I also know that just because my daughter is no longer in that environment, that doesn't mean OTHER kids with disabilities are not experiencing R&S.
This also has to stop. I hate that my family and I have been put into this position - with virtually no choice. I'm all for having alternatives to the current educational system - whether that is home schooling or some other alternate schooling (such as Cyber Charter Schools), but I would have appreiciated having the choice of remaining in a "safe" public school, which my taxes help pay to operate.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
What's Up.......
Well today has been busy. Its abt 12:00 and Im beat!LOLOLOL
This week has been the start of Vacation Bible School. It has been a GREAT hit for all the kiddoes :) It starts pretty late-6:30 and goes till 8:30 so we aren't usually home until abt 9.
Stinger has been good as Gold-even participating with the songs and hand movements. At the end they give out ballons that the teachers have made into shapes etc-and Stinger tries and hopes for one each night. :) He has come home with 2 ballons out of 3 nights so far. REALLY good-eh? Tonight he didnt get one-even though he was really good-which was extremelly hard for him to understand. But I told him they only have a certian number of ballons each night and there were probably other kids trying really hard too and he cant get one every night as this would mean a no to another kid who had tried just as hard as he did. Kinda difficult for him to understand-but he felt like he understood it better. They are talking abt Creations under the Sea-which leads into many controversal things-things Im not even sure abt. So Im sure it is confusing to Stinger-but we try and discuss it the next day etc.
Flamingo is doing really well as well-she has gotten 2 ballons too. Tonight I noticed her looking at me for direction when she was confused with something they say. She I guess is looking to see if Im nodding or saying no etc. I sit by them. And somethings tonight I purposely didnt look back at her-I saw her looking at me-as I really was learning and thinking about things for the 1st time too-LOLOLOL and I didnt know what to tell her.
I kept thinking to myself-okay, where was I when this was being taught? LOLOLOL
For example-
1. Dinasaurs on the ark??huh?
2. Fossil remains-the cause of the flood? huh?
3. Different layer and time periods in those layers-fiction? ( all because of the flood waters?)
4. Ark-every KIND of animal-not species.
5. Ark-BOX shape
Things like this is what they have been saying.....I dont know-I guess the main points are that what they(the kids) see and read in textbooks isnt fact-but Genesis is. I get that. LOLOLOL This is what they are trying to teach the kids I guess.....
I just havent ever thought abt such things really......and its interesting-I guess you could say Im learning too then-eh?
Like for instance-they have been talking abt Moses in Exodis and Genesis. How he made ,was it 10 or 11 things, happen to the pharoahs people. Heck-I thought it was just the red water and locust and 1st born. I had no idea how stubborn that Pharoah was then I guess....LOLOLOL
They also showed some articles from National geographic-which I have always been impressed with saying that Whales came from Land Mammals. They showed a childrens book too and a school text book. How crazy is that !!!!THIS is what they are teaching our kids now-that its not some theory-like I had thought they had been doing, but that it is indeed fact.
The big bang-FACT now-ugh.....etc.
I thought they had been presenting this stuff as THEORY-but they are teaching kids this IS how it IS.-FACT.
So its been fun for everyone -we ALL have been learning...LOLOLOL
Monkey Boy has had the squirmies-so he has only gotten 1 balloon-and he gets quiet upset-LOLOLOL
But he likes going-they all do.
The parade was tonight as well-right before VBS. It lasted until abt 7-the kids were all antsy wanting to go even before the parade had finished-fearing that they would miss VBS! LOLOLOL
Especially Stinger-who thought he would miss snack time and ballon give-away! LOLOLOL.
Came home aftre VBS-everyone was moody and tired and wanting to eat their candy...ugh! Except for Stinger that is-LOLOL He LOVES getting and going out and getting it, but isnt thrilled abt eating any of it once he has it-funny-eh? ??? But thats usual for him.
I had to hide Monkey Boys' he will eat candy till he hurls-LOLOLOL, and Flamingos' always in "moderation" They are all so funny and such individuals! LOLOLOL NEVER a DULL moment. :) I am sooo blessed! :)
Homeschool Materials are en-route, with 3 subjects coming that are not a complete order....sigh.....ugh.....anyway......3 more days until School starts for Falmingo-she is SOOO excited!
We saw her teacher in the parade( she used to be Stingers teacher last year) and she is going to be awesome ! Stinger even liked her when he had her. But she ran up to me and asked if the kids had a pencil-I said no, and she ran ahead and grabbed 3 for just us :)That was super nice I thought :) Flamingo just beamed! LOLOLOLOL
So Ive been trying to find pictures for PECS schedule for Stinger, finding games to do, hands on things, as many as I can get my hands on, sheets for Monkey Boy, oraganizing -color coding for Stinger, Speech therapy tools, Communicating tools, Life-skill toools.
Im soo excited that I can actually have time to teach him things I think he needs to learn that the school has just dismissed or I had to fight sooo hard for-ugh!
I am reading a Charlotte Mason book( its a curriculum)-and we will be incorporating many of her ideas as well-I like how she feels nature and The Lord are soooooooo important and how they are sooo important to teach together-we will be having nature notebooks etc. I know her academics and literature would be a struggle right now for Stinger as these are stressed very highly and intensily-but I really like the way this lady thinks-LOLOL. She tried to have all schooling done so in the afternoon they children were able to "play" outside etc explore-to be in The Lords Creation.
Anyway-thats what we have been up to :)
This week has been the start of Vacation Bible School. It has been a GREAT hit for all the kiddoes :) It starts pretty late-6:30 and goes till 8:30 so we aren't usually home until abt 9.
Stinger has been good as Gold-even participating with the songs and hand movements. At the end they give out ballons that the teachers have made into shapes etc-and Stinger tries and hopes for one each night. :) He has come home with 2 ballons out of 3 nights so far. REALLY good-eh? Tonight he didnt get one-even though he was really good-which was extremelly hard for him to understand. But I told him they only have a certian number of ballons each night and there were probably other kids trying really hard too and he cant get one every night as this would mean a no to another kid who had tried just as hard as he did. Kinda difficult for him to understand-but he felt like he understood it better. They are talking abt Creations under the Sea-which leads into many controversal things-things Im not even sure abt. So Im sure it is confusing to Stinger-but we try and discuss it the next day etc.
Flamingo is doing really well as well-she has gotten 2 ballons too. Tonight I noticed her looking at me for direction when she was confused with something they say. She I guess is looking to see if Im nodding or saying no etc. I sit by them. And somethings tonight I purposely didnt look back at her-I saw her looking at me-as I really was learning and thinking about things for the 1st time too-LOLOLOL and I didnt know what to tell her.
I kept thinking to myself-okay, where was I when this was being taught? LOLOLOL
For example-
1. Dinasaurs on the ark??huh?
2. Fossil remains-the cause of the flood? huh?
3. Different layer and time periods in those layers-fiction? ( all because of the flood waters?)
4. Ark-every KIND of animal-not species.
5. Ark-BOX shape
Things like this is what they have been saying.....I dont know-I guess the main points are that what they(the kids) see and read in textbooks isnt fact-but Genesis is. I get that. LOLOLOL This is what they are trying to teach the kids I guess.....
I just havent ever thought abt such things really......and its interesting-I guess you could say Im learning too then-eh?
Like for instance-they have been talking abt Moses in Exodis and Genesis. How he made ,was it 10 or 11 things, happen to the pharoahs people. Heck-I thought it was just the red water and locust and 1st born. I had no idea how stubborn that Pharoah was then I guess....LOLOLOL
They also showed some articles from National geographic-which I have always been impressed with saying that Whales came from Land Mammals. They showed a childrens book too and a school text book. How crazy is that !!!!THIS is what they are teaching our kids now-that its not some theory-like I had thought they had been doing, but that it is indeed fact.
The big bang-FACT now-ugh.....etc.
I thought they had been presenting this stuff as THEORY-but they are teaching kids this IS how it IS.-FACT.
So its been fun for everyone -we ALL have been learning...LOLOLOL
Monkey Boy has had the squirmies-so he has only gotten 1 balloon-and he gets quiet upset-LOLOLOL
But he likes going-they all do.
The parade was tonight as well-right before VBS. It lasted until abt 7-the kids were all antsy wanting to go even before the parade had finished-fearing that they would miss VBS! LOLOLOL
Especially Stinger-who thought he would miss snack time and ballon give-away! LOLOLOL.
Came home aftre VBS-everyone was moody and tired and wanting to eat their candy...ugh! Except for Stinger that is-LOLOL He LOVES getting and going out and getting it, but isnt thrilled abt eating any of it once he has it-funny-eh? ??? But thats usual for him.
I had to hide Monkey Boys' he will eat candy till he hurls-LOLOLOL, and Flamingos' always in "moderation" They are all so funny and such individuals! LOLOLOL NEVER a DULL moment. :) I am sooo blessed! :)
Homeschool Materials are en-route, with 3 subjects coming that are not a complete order....sigh.....ugh.....anyway......3 more days until School starts for Falmingo-she is SOOO excited!
We saw her teacher in the parade( she used to be Stingers teacher last year) and she is going to be awesome ! Stinger even liked her when he had her. But she ran up to me and asked if the kids had a pencil-I said no, and she ran ahead and grabbed 3 for just us :)That was super nice I thought :) Flamingo just beamed! LOLOLOLOL
So Ive been trying to find pictures for PECS schedule for Stinger, finding games to do, hands on things, as many as I can get my hands on, sheets for Monkey Boy, oraganizing -color coding for Stinger, Speech therapy tools, Communicating tools, Life-skill toools.
Im soo excited that I can actually have time to teach him things I think he needs to learn that the school has just dismissed or I had to fight sooo hard for-ugh!
I am reading a Charlotte Mason book( its a curriculum)-and we will be incorporating many of her ideas as well-I like how she feels nature and The Lord are soooooooo important and how they are sooo important to teach together-we will be having nature notebooks etc. I know her academics and literature would be a struggle right now for Stinger as these are stressed very highly and intensily-but I really like the way this lady thinks-LOLOL. She tried to have all schooling done so in the afternoon they children were able to "play" outside etc explore-to be in The Lords Creation.
Anyway-thats what we have been up to :)
Monday, August 20, 2007
School of shock......article
Mother Jones-
( smart fearless journalism)
News:
Eight states are sending autistic, mentally retarded, and emotionally troubled kids to a facility that punishes them with painful electric shocks. How many times do you have to zap a child before it's torture?
In 1999, when Rob was 13, his parents sent him to the Judge Rotenberg Educational Center, located in Canton, Massachusetts, 20 miles outside Boston. The facility, which calls itself a "special needs school," takes in all kinds of troubled kids—severely autistic, mentally retarded, schizophrenic, bipolar, emotionally disturbed—and attempts to change their behavior with a complex system of rewards and punishments, including painful electric shocks to the torso and limbs. Of the 234 current residents, about half are wired to receive shocks, including some as young as nine or ten. Nearly 60 percent come from New York, a quarter from Massachusetts, the rest from six other states and Washington, D.C. The Rotenberg Center, which has 900 employees and annual revenues exceeding $56 million, charges $220,000 a year for each student. States and school districts pick up the tab.
The Rotenberg Center is the only facility in the country that disciplines students by shocking them, a form of punishment not inflicted on serial killers or child molesters or any of the 2.2 million inmates now incarcerated in U.S. jails and prisons. Over its 36-year history, six children have died in its care, prompting numerous lawsuits and government investigations. Last year, New York state investigators filed a blistering report that made the place sound like a high school version of Abu Ghraib. Yet the program continues to thrive—in large part because no one except desperate parents, and a few state legislators, seems to care about what happens to the hundreds of kids who pass through its gates.
Employees shocked him for aggressive behavior, he says, but also for minor misdeeds, like yelling or cursing. Each shock lasts two seconds. "It hurts like hell," Rob says. (The school's staff claim it is no more painful than a bee sting; when I tried the shock, it felt like a horde of wasps attacking me all at once. Two seconds never felt so long.) On several occasions, Rob was tied facedown to a four-point restraint board and shocked over and over again by a person he couldn't see. The constant threat of being zapped did persuade him to act less aggressively, but at a high cost. "I thought of killing myself a few times," he says.
Rob's mother Jo-Anne deLeon had sent him to the Rotenberg Center at the suggestion of the special-ed committee at his school district in upstate New York, which, she says, told her that the program had everything Rob needed. She believed he would receive regular psychiatric counseling—though the school does not provide this.
As the months passed, Rob's mother became increasingly unhappy. "My whole dispute with them was, 'When is he going to get psychiatric treatment?'" she says. "I think they had to get to the root of his problems—like why was he so angry? Why was he so destructive? I really think they needed to go in his head somehow and figure this out." She didn't think the shocks were helping, and in 2002 she sent a furious fax demanding that Rob's electrodes be removed before she came up for Parents' Day. She says she got a call the next day from the executive director, Matthew Israel, who told her, "You don't want to stick with our treatment plan? Pick him up."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We have all heard of this Rotenburg Center in NY-and still it is up and running.......
I hate to say it-but it sounds eeeerily familiar-suggestions from the "school district" on what is best for your child.........sigh....
Makes me want to take my kids and run for the hills.....
( smart fearless journalism)
News:
Eight states are sending autistic, mentally retarded, and emotionally troubled kids to a facility that punishes them with painful electric shocks. How many times do you have to zap a child before it's torture?
In 1999, when Rob was 13, his parents sent him to the Judge Rotenberg Educational Center, located in Canton, Massachusetts, 20 miles outside Boston. The facility, which calls itself a "special needs school," takes in all kinds of troubled kids—severely autistic, mentally retarded, schizophrenic, bipolar, emotionally disturbed—and attempts to change their behavior with a complex system of rewards and punishments, including painful electric shocks to the torso and limbs. Of the 234 current residents, about half are wired to receive shocks, including some as young as nine or ten. Nearly 60 percent come from New York, a quarter from Massachusetts, the rest from six other states and Washington, D.C. The Rotenberg Center, which has 900 employees and annual revenues exceeding $56 million, charges $220,000 a year for each student. States and school districts pick up the tab.
The Rotenberg Center is the only facility in the country that disciplines students by shocking them, a form of punishment not inflicted on serial killers or child molesters or any of the 2.2 million inmates now incarcerated in U.S. jails and prisons. Over its 36-year history, six children have died in its care, prompting numerous lawsuits and government investigations. Last year, New York state investigators filed a blistering report that made the place sound like a high school version of Abu Ghraib. Yet the program continues to thrive—in large part because no one except desperate parents, and a few state legislators, seems to care about what happens to the hundreds of kids who pass through its gates.
Employees shocked him for aggressive behavior, he says, but also for minor misdeeds, like yelling or cursing. Each shock lasts two seconds. "It hurts like hell," Rob says. (The school's staff claim it is no more painful than a bee sting; when I tried the shock, it felt like a horde of wasps attacking me all at once. Two seconds never felt so long.) On several occasions, Rob was tied facedown to a four-point restraint board and shocked over and over again by a person he couldn't see. The constant threat of being zapped did persuade him to act less aggressively, but at a high cost. "I thought of killing myself a few times," he says.
Rob's mother Jo-Anne deLeon had sent him to the Rotenberg Center at the suggestion of the special-ed committee at his school district in upstate New York, which, she says, told her that the program had everything Rob needed. She believed he would receive regular psychiatric counseling—though the school does not provide this.
As the months passed, Rob's mother became increasingly unhappy. "My whole dispute with them was, 'When is he going to get psychiatric treatment?'" she says. "I think they had to get to the root of his problems—like why was he so angry? Why was he so destructive? I really think they needed to go in his head somehow and figure this out." She didn't think the shocks were helping, and in 2002 she sent a furious fax demanding that Rob's electrodes be removed before she came up for Parents' Day. She says she got a call the next day from the executive director, Matthew Israel, who told her, "You don't want to stick with our treatment plan? Pick him up."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We have all heard of this Rotenburg Center in NY-and still it is up and running.......
I hate to say it-but it sounds eeeerily familiar-suggestions from the "school district" on what is best for your child.........sigh....
Makes me want to take my kids and run for the hills.....
Thursday, August 16, 2007
A Different Drum-beautiful
A Different Drum
From Kerry Jones
"You will be extremely happy to know that you have nothing in common with me. You glide along through life like a leaf down a crystal stream. You tend to steer in the direction everyone else is steering, and the road ahead of you is well lit and mapped out. Your children have been welcomed with open arms by everyone they’ve met, and your home is a bastion of peace, harmony, and good will. Best of all, your homeschooling experience has been the most rewarding and inspiring era of your life, and you’ve never doubted your calling for even a moment. See? I told you that you have nothing in common with me.
Me... well, my life has been slightly different. My leaf tends to get stuck against every wet rock of the stream, my steering has been out of alignment for as long as I can remember, and the road I am on has been steep, winding, and many times even closed for construction.
My children, both with special needs, have been stared at, frowned upon, and pitied in their turn, and my home can feel much more like an open battlefield than a fortress at times. And frankly, I’ve been tempted to quit homeschooling more times than I’ve been tempted to cheat on my diet, and that is saying a lot. However, while my life in no way resembles yours, you needn’t feel sorry for me one bit. I like my life ... actually, I love it - every little bit of it - because God made me especially for it.
So many things in life seem designed with the "average" person in mind, don’t they? Airplane passenger seats are designed for an average size person, standardized tests are designed for the average student, and medicine doses are prescribed with the average person in mind. I’ll never forget the feeling of empathy I felt when I saw someone being asked to move along because they wouldn’t fit into a ride at a theme park. Or the first time I saw children on a park playground laughing at my son because he couldn’t control the jerking tics caused by his Tourette Syndrome. Our society caters to the average person... the average family... the average way of life. Unfortunately, I just can’t squeeze myself into that mold.
Homeschoolers used to be marginalized too, but over the years, they have become more accepted and respected. Within the homeschooling community, there are now groupings that help people fit in. There are Christian homeschoolers, unschoolers, Classical schoolers, Waldorf schoolers, Montessori schoolers, and traditional schoolers. Would you believe that I don’t fit into any of those either? We are Christians, but aren’t really homeschooling for religious reasons, we read the classics, but our exposure to Latin consists of what is written on the backs of our coins, and my worn-out lesson plan book would attest that I am a far cry from adopting unschooling in the near future. I suppose I simply don’t assimilate well.
Strangely enough, though, my life is far from impossible. Someone had the good sense to design a few things with the irregular person in mind. TiVo invented a way to automatically record any show that happens to concern Jane Austen - my current obsession. Tombstone miraculously created a frozen pizza that is half cheese and half supreme - the only way my family will eat it. I recently saw a magazine in the library for people who garden on their deck. I truly thought I was the only one guiding squash vines around the railing posts. And thank heavens for Time4Learning.com, a multimedia homeschool curriculum that is so well suited for the out-of-the-box learner.
I have learned over time that the kingdom of God is certainly an upside-down kingdom, and that swimming against the current is actually inevitable. Praying for my enemies, returning kindness for evil, and forgiving those who are beyond forgiveness are part of the inverted life I’ve been asked to lead. So, I shouldn’t be all that surprised that my leaf takes a few hits as it heads downstream. The image I see in my mirror each day looks different from any other image I see in the world around me because God has asked me to model a life that is far from average. In fact, I think God delights in the fact that I am abnormal... unusual... exceptional.
Because of this, I know that when I hit the roadblocks of life, I can find a way around them. When my children face the challenges of being different, I can remind them that means they are on the right track! When the normal battles of life take over my home, I understand that I will win the war in the end. And when I have laid my head down on my pillow at the end of a difficult day, and wondered why God has called me to this thing called "homeschooling" - I will remember that it is because I have been called according to His purpose. Called to be different."
See-I told you this was beautiful!!!! :)
From Kerry Jones
"You will be extremely happy to know that you have nothing in common with me. You glide along through life like a leaf down a crystal stream. You tend to steer in the direction everyone else is steering, and the road ahead of you is well lit and mapped out. Your children have been welcomed with open arms by everyone they’ve met, and your home is a bastion of peace, harmony, and good will. Best of all, your homeschooling experience has been the most rewarding and inspiring era of your life, and you’ve never doubted your calling for even a moment. See? I told you that you have nothing in common with me.
Me... well, my life has been slightly different. My leaf tends to get stuck against every wet rock of the stream, my steering has been out of alignment for as long as I can remember, and the road I am on has been steep, winding, and many times even closed for construction.
My children, both with special needs, have been stared at, frowned upon, and pitied in their turn, and my home can feel much more like an open battlefield than a fortress at times. And frankly, I’ve been tempted to quit homeschooling more times than I’ve been tempted to cheat on my diet, and that is saying a lot. However, while my life in no way resembles yours, you needn’t feel sorry for me one bit. I like my life ... actually, I love it - every little bit of it - because God made me especially for it.
So many things in life seem designed with the "average" person in mind, don’t they? Airplane passenger seats are designed for an average size person, standardized tests are designed for the average student, and medicine doses are prescribed with the average person in mind. I’ll never forget the feeling of empathy I felt when I saw someone being asked to move along because they wouldn’t fit into a ride at a theme park. Or the first time I saw children on a park playground laughing at my son because he couldn’t control the jerking tics caused by his Tourette Syndrome. Our society caters to the average person... the average family... the average way of life. Unfortunately, I just can’t squeeze myself into that mold.
Homeschoolers used to be marginalized too, but over the years, they have become more accepted and respected. Within the homeschooling community, there are now groupings that help people fit in. There are Christian homeschoolers, unschoolers, Classical schoolers, Waldorf schoolers, Montessori schoolers, and traditional schoolers. Would you believe that I don’t fit into any of those either? We are Christians, but aren’t really homeschooling for religious reasons, we read the classics, but our exposure to Latin consists of what is written on the backs of our coins, and my worn-out lesson plan book would attest that I am a far cry from adopting unschooling in the near future. I suppose I simply don’t assimilate well.
Strangely enough, though, my life is far from impossible. Someone had the good sense to design a few things with the irregular person in mind. TiVo invented a way to automatically record any show that happens to concern Jane Austen - my current obsession. Tombstone miraculously created a frozen pizza that is half cheese and half supreme - the only way my family will eat it. I recently saw a magazine in the library for people who garden on their deck. I truly thought I was the only one guiding squash vines around the railing posts. And thank heavens for Time4Learning.com, a multimedia homeschool curriculum that is so well suited for the out-of-the-box learner.
I have learned over time that the kingdom of God is certainly an upside-down kingdom, and that swimming against the current is actually inevitable. Praying for my enemies, returning kindness for evil, and forgiving those who are beyond forgiveness are part of the inverted life I’ve been asked to lead. So, I shouldn’t be all that surprised that my leaf takes a few hits as it heads downstream. The image I see in my mirror each day looks different from any other image I see in the world around me because God has asked me to model a life that is far from average. In fact, I think God delights in the fact that I am abnormal... unusual... exceptional.
Because of this, I know that when I hit the roadblocks of life, I can find a way around them. When my children face the challenges of being different, I can remind them that means they are on the right track! When the normal battles of life take over my home, I understand that I will win the war in the end. And when I have laid my head down on my pillow at the end of a difficult day, and wondered why God has called me to this thing called "homeschooling" - I will remember that it is because I have been called according to His purpose. Called to be different."
See-I told you this was beautiful!!!! :)
Monday, August 13, 2007
This and That.....
Well Summer is about winding down........and you know what-for the first time I can honestly say.....Im not thrilled-LOLOLOL
Stinger has been really good-we still have our days, but its been "pleasant" -if thats what you call it....but Im excited for school to start-excited abt teaching him-whereas abt this time I would normally be a nervous wreck-just imagining another horrible school year. WHOOT!!!!! YEAH!!!*sigh of relief*
Swimming has finished up too-he is now in level 2. He was fabulous- and LOVED waking up early every morning to go. He got a certificate and asked if he could sign up for fall lessons-which we are going to do possibly. Im still unsure abt Flamingos' soccer schedule-so we shall see-either way-we will be going to the pool probably once a week when school starts. I still am kicking myself at having put swimming lessons off for so long-I guess I was just assuming it would go how other extra activities had gone. But he has taken to it like a duck to water. Its sooo nice to see him looking forward to an activity. As you all know those are so far and few.
I got the letter from the District. It stated that the IEP team had met( hey-I thought I was a member of this "team") and they have decided that the K12 program at home was not the Least Restricted Environment for Stinger.......so according to them at school would be and the school is where he should be given special services as it is the Least Restricted Environment. Hmmmmmm...I find that hard to belive that a timeout room all day is the least restricted environment or a plywood box for that matter...but who am I -eh, just a parent here?
But since I have chosen the K12 program I am "refusing" such "services" and should I want such "services" I need to call them. What a bunch of bunk-eh? But BIG surprise there....
So we decided who really cares and I signed the stupid paper. I mailed it in today. I called my legal people and they said if they(the Team) have decided that its not the Least Restricted Environment than they arent obligated to provide services as Stinger by IDEA law is to be taught in the LRE...so....I guess thsi is there way of getting past the red tape-and so be it...
We will be fine without them. Better if you ask me.
I got an email today abt that little 8 yr old girl who was in the timeout room for 3 hours who was made to wet herself(how familiar). It was all in the news and everything. Seams these parents took it to court or Due Process-Im not sure-and the school LOST!!!!!WHOOT!!!!!
........oh so tempting it is, now that I KNOW I'd win...........sigh....but Id rather wash my hands of that whole nightmare.
Im looking ahead-not behind us any longer. On to better tomorrows-eh?
Stinger has been really good-we still have our days, but its been "pleasant" -if thats what you call it....but Im excited for school to start-excited abt teaching him-whereas abt this time I would normally be a nervous wreck-just imagining another horrible school year. WHOOT!!!!! YEAH!!!*sigh of relief*
Swimming has finished up too-he is now in level 2. He was fabulous- and LOVED waking up early every morning to go. He got a certificate and asked if he could sign up for fall lessons-which we are going to do possibly. Im still unsure abt Flamingos' soccer schedule-so we shall see-either way-we will be going to the pool probably once a week when school starts. I still am kicking myself at having put swimming lessons off for so long-I guess I was just assuming it would go how other extra activities had gone. But he has taken to it like a duck to water. Its sooo nice to see him looking forward to an activity. As you all know those are so far and few.
I got the letter from the District. It stated that the IEP team had met( hey-I thought I was a member of this "team") and they have decided that the K12 program at home was not the Least Restricted Environment for Stinger.......so according to them at school would be and the school is where he should be given special services as it is the Least Restricted Environment. Hmmmmmm...I find that hard to belive that a timeout room all day is the least restricted environment or a plywood box for that matter...but who am I -eh, just a parent here?
But since I have chosen the K12 program I am "refusing" such "services" and should I want such "services" I need to call them. What a bunch of bunk-eh? But BIG surprise there....
So we decided who really cares and I signed the stupid paper. I mailed it in today. I called my legal people and they said if they(the Team) have decided that its not the Least Restricted Environment than they arent obligated to provide services as Stinger by IDEA law is to be taught in the LRE...so....I guess thsi is there way of getting past the red tape-and so be it...
We will be fine without them. Better if you ask me.
I got an email today abt that little 8 yr old girl who was in the timeout room for 3 hours who was made to wet herself(how familiar). It was all in the news and everything. Seams these parents took it to court or Due Process-Im not sure-and the school LOST!!!!!WHOOT!!!!!
........oh so tempting it is, now that I KNOW I'd win...........sigh....but Id rather wash my hands of that whole nightmare.
Im looking ahead-not behind us any longer. On to better tomorrows-eh?
Friday, August 03, 2007
Retaliation story.....
Have you all heard abt this lady from Georgia-she is truly living everyones nightmare! I could just see our school pulling this! Eeek!
Anyway-this stuff DOES happen....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Never Doubt that Retaliation Is Real"
I opened my email yesterday to find this link to a story in the Georgia news. A mother of an autistic boy near Macon, Georgia had been arrested for violating truancy laws. There weren't very many years ago that I wouldn't have thought twice about such a story and if I did, I would likely have thought "what a horrible mother."But this mom is far from a horrible mother. I don't know her personally, but do know of her. She is a tireless advocate for children with special needs and assists parents as they work with schools to get the right special education for their children.
These words jumped off the page at me: "…she requested hospital/homebound instruction for her son in May of last year on the advice of his doctor, who diagnosed the child as having post-traumatic stress disorder and needing home instruction."
Hmmm…in March of last year on the advice of LuLu's doctor, I requested hospital/homebound instruction, too. And LuLu not only has been diagnosed with PTSD, but according to her doctor, needed home instruction due to the level of anxiety. Like this mother's request, mine was denied. In both cases the school districts decided that they did not need to comply with a doctor's request to provide hospital/homebound educational services. I'm told that denying a doctor's request for medical homebound education is virtually unheard of in other states. But here in Georgia there are actually separate rules and standards for children in general education vs. children in special education. (And the general education children's hospital homebound requests are honored.)
In this mother's story, the school district went one step further. They filed truancy charges against her since her son was not attending school. On Friday things really came to a head when she was arrested and then released on a $1,100 bond.
Now that hasn't happened to me…yet. But frankly I wouldn't be surprised to hear from the truancy officer. This awesome mom is living my life! Perhaps I won't have to follow her into the next chapter, but who knows? For the past year, in addition to trying to help so many others, she has been teaching her son at home, keeping detailed records and information about his progress. And she's been actively helping and advocating for special needs children and their families. Not to mention her passionate advocacy for her own son, who is getting no services from the school district.
Instead he was verbally abused on the bus and had unexplained bruises. His anxieties were definitely triggered.
So, is there any doubt that retaliation is at the core of this move on the school's part? It's not like they didn't know where the kid was or that she was educating him to the best of her abilities at home. It's not like they didn't know they had a dispute going on. It's not like they tried to negotiate and resolve this issue. Instead, they hit her with the biggest hammer they could find.The next stop…state court.
This brave mom is facing all this alone, as (get this) her husband's currently serving in Iraq. Let me get this straight, what we have here is a stressed out parent of an autistic boy who was being abused enough at school to not only show bruises, but develop PTSD. The said mom doesn't even have her spouse to lean on as he's off fighting for our country, although I can imagine how nerve-wracking it must be for him being that far away from this whole mess.
Does this sound like the picture you had of public schools? Of nice teachers and cherubic children; of friendly administrators welcoming parents with opening arms; of caring professionals who have the child's best interest a heart?I'll admit it. If I weren't living in this parallel universe along side this woman and her son, I'd be tempted to say that someone is making this up! I didn't believe, even after we filed due process, that school personnel could be dishonest, manipulative, cruel and vindictive. I truly thought other parents were being paranoid and exaggerating the truth.
Schools would never treat parents this way!
Nope, it ain't a joke or an exaggeration; no one can make up a story this outlandish!
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Just a tad bit worring-no?
Anyway-this stuff DOES happen....
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"Never Doubt that Retaliation Is Real"
I opened my email yesterday to find this link to a story in the Georgia news. A mother of an autistic boy near Macon, Georgia had been arrested for violating truancy laws. There weren't very many years ago that I wouldn't have thought twice about such a story and if I did, I would likely have thought "what a horrible mother."But this mom is far from a horrible mother. I don't know her personally, but do know of her. She is a tireless advocate for children with special needs and assists parents as they work with schools to get the right special education for their children.
These words jumped off the page at me: "…she requested hospital/homebound instruction for her son in May of last year on the advice of his doctor, who diagnosed the child as having post-traumatic stress disorder and needing home instruction."
Hmmm…in March of last year on the advice of LuLu's doctor, I requested hospital/homebound instruction, too. And LuLu not only has been diagnosed with PTSD, but according to her doctor, needed home instruction due to the level of anxiety. Like this mother's request, mine was denied. In both cases the school districts decided that they did not need to comply with a doctor's request to provide hospital/homebound educational services. I'm told that denying a doctor's request for medical homebound education is virtually unheard of in other states. But here in Georgia there are actually separate rules and standards for children in general education vs. children in special education. (And the general education children's hospital homebound requests are honored.)
In this mother's story, the school district went one step further. They filed truancy charges against her since her son was not attending school. On Friday things really came to a head when she was arrested and then released on a $1,100 bond.
Now that hasn't happened to me…yet. But frankly I wouldn't be surprised to hear from the truancy officer. This awesome mom is living my life! Perhaps I won't have to follow her into the next chapter, but who knows? For the past year, in addition to trying to help so many others, she has been teaching her son at home, keeping detailed records and information about his progress. And she's been actively helping and advocating for special needs children and their families. Not to mention her passionate advocacy for her own son, who is getting no services from the school district.
Instead he was verbally abused on the bus and had unexplained bruises. His anxieties were definitely triggered.
So, is there any doubt that retaliation is at the core of this move on the school's part? It's not like they didn't know where the kid was or that she was educating him to the best of her abilities at home. It's not like they didn't know they had a dispute going on. It's not like they tried to negotiate and resolve this issue. Instead, they hit her with the biggest hammer they could find.The next stop…state court.
This brave mom is facing all this alone, as (get this) her husband's currently serving in Iraq. Let me get this straight, what we have here is a stressed out parent of an autistic boy who was being abused enough at school to not only show bruises, but develop PTSD. The said mom doesn't even have her spouse to lean on as he's off fighting for our country, although I can imagine how nerve-wracking it must be for him being that far away from this whole mess.
Does this sound like the picture you had of public schools? Of nice teachers and cherubic children; of friendly administrators welcoming parents with opening arms; of caring professionals who have the child's best interest a heart?I'll admit it. If I weren't living in this parallel universe along side this woman and her son, I'd be tempted to say that someone is making this up! I didn't believe, even after we filed due process, that school personnel could be dishonest, manipulative, cruel and vindictive. I truly thought other parents were being paranoid and exaggerating the truth.
Schools would never treat parents this way!
Nope, it ain't a joke or an exaggeration; no one can make up a story this outlandish!
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Just a tad bit worring-no?
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