Restraint and Seclusion-yep this is gunna be LONG......

Ive been thinking about this alot lately...and feeling incredibly heart-broken at the same time...
I just cant get past the fact as a mother, as a protector-I let my son become such a victim. Ive been doing alot of soul searching, praying, festering, praying. This article says it all....

Children's Voice Article, September/October 2003
Practicing Restraint
By Scott Kirkwood

Restraint and seclusion were once considered acceptable, even a valuable tools in maintaining control of unruly children in residential group homes. But the call for alternatives is growing louder.

The negative effects of restraint have been well-publicized in recent years, most notably in a 1998 series in the Hartford (Connecticut) Courant implicating restraint in the death of dozens of children each year.

"Facilities that use seclusion and restraint have a much higher rate of injuries and sometimes deaths than institutions that don't use seclusion and restraint,"

If the Courant series revealed the lethal physical component of restraint, new research reveals the mental component is just as important. "Children who are victims or witnesses to abuse experience significant changes in the way they regulate their emotions over time, creating all kinds of problems as they get older," Huckshorn says.

"There was a tacit belief that containing children, setting harsh limits, and imposing a physical restraint or seclusion was somehow therapeutic. How we got the idea that meeting a child's history with violence was somehow going to be palliative and restorative, we don't know." If a child's frustrations are the powder keg that makes potential conflict so explosive, it's often the staff who provide the spark.

"In reviewing restraint episodes involving children, we noticed a pattern," says Nan Stromberg, Director of Nursing and Licensing for Massachusetts DMH. "When kids were in trouble and in distress, the staff would set limits, and the kids would then become more agitated--a recipe for restraint."

"Our belief now is that restraint is a treatment failure," Farragher says. "We end up physically holding kids when our program isn't holding them. To change that requires a team approach."

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Okay-so we have established that these types of things must be a team approach-everyone trying to work on things, everyone trying to de-escalate, everyone trying to use restraint and seclusion as a LAST result. Taking into consideration what each member of the "team" has to say abt EVERYTHING.....Clearly that is not what Stingers school is set out to do.

They like the fact I am so far away-which makes it harder to know what is actually going on. They have "rules" on visiting-which seam to magically change when dh is present. They insult me-claiming I am an overprotective parent who just needs to let go, and let them do their jobs. They fail to mention what actually goes on during the day-and instead I am met at the door by a brusied up child-phyisically and emotionally. I am told not to discuss anything bad-as they have taken care of it.....Then I am blamed at an IEP meeting that I have a "trust issue.

Holds and seclusions are not mentioned. Accidents-from bathroom priviledges taken away etc-are not mentioned. Cleanups that Stinger himself has to take care of which were the result of their ignorance-again not mentioned. Locked doors and pinches under the arms are not mentioned. Rude comments are thrown Stingers way by staff-again- explained away...sigh...Boxes with windows taped shut(scenes from horror movies which I swore only could be found at your local video store) are quickly shoved under the carpet and explained to be neccesary. Seclusion lasting goodness knows how long-again never specified-me asking and asking, stating I dont agree(remember the "team" deal?) telling Stinger to let me know if he spends all day in seclusion-then the "team" belittling me-blaming me that this tactic is failing now as I have talked to my son and told him this is not right!!!!-then feeling the repercusions from this by them staing they could no longer provide for my son......

Is it really a "trust" issue-well yes, having been to hell and back I would say YES-will it EVER be regained? No-not EVER.

So after much debate in my mind-and I could punch myself for debating abt such things.....We have decided to homeschool Stinger. He will NOT be stepping one foot into a Public school until I can be assured that he will be safe there-that the staff is compitant in dealing with behviors-in actually talking to Stinger and actually finding out what the trouble was all about-which no school has EVER EVER done. So I dont have high hopes for the outcome of him ever going back-somewhere over the rainbow...maybee there......maybee.......

I have picked the k12 program-I signed him up today -and yes, I know its federally funded-so they will be up our noses Im sure. But Im to the point where I dont care. I dont care-because I know Stinger will be safe now-THATS what is important.Come to my house-do your worst-as I knwo your worst has already been done to my son. He wont be told to sit in a chair like a robot and do exactly what he is told so he can pick a prize...sigh....I told them Stinger had an IEP and they want a copy, his behavior plan to-for the assesment-huh?For the Special Needs coordinator .Sounds like some mumbo jumbo testing they have rigged up-FUN....but again-who cares. Ive had him tested at a Childrens Hospital-so that doc trumps any they've got.They are intitled to any opinion-I dont care really....I dont know exactly what it will entail and I might end up having to just find my own curriculum. But I can do that. So we will wait and see I guess.

Im just relieved I stepped up-I can finally claim I am not the "chicken" any longer. Stinger will be in good, SAFE hands. Now and for how ever long it takes. :)

Boy-that felt good :)LOLOLOLOL

A Mothers Prayer For Mental Illness

This poem was posted on a group I belong to. It really touched me.

We on that board each have such different children each struggling with so many different issues and obsticles.......yet each and every day I am amazed at the bond that we mothers all share together-the support we can give each other-the same feelings we all share-and the fears we all face with our kids-the here and now as well as what the future has in store.....

A Mothers Prayer For Mental Illness

As I stumble from my bed this morning, help me to remember to be gentle and kind.My child's mind is shredding into a million pieces. He lives in a constant state of atrocious fear. I can see it in his eyes. Give him peace.

Guide me as I hold him in my arms. Help me to know what to say. What to do. Fill my heart with healing love, understanding, and empathy.

Give me the strength of a thousand angels to hold back my tears. My heart is broken and a tidal wave of grief is overwhelming me with the need to cry. Give me the strength to bear it long enough to keep it from disturbing my child. Help me find someone I can safely bring it to.

Help me answer my family's questions with the same amount of compassion I would want for my self. Help me remember they are hurting too. This is an unwelcomed assault on an entire family. My heart is not the only heart that is broken. We all need time and each other to heal.

As my journey becomes more and more isolative and lonely, remind me that the lack of involvement on the part of ones I knew is not always because of the stigma and the ignorance. For many, it is because they are hurting too. They have the privelege of turning to their own lives.

This is my family's life now. I must deal with it whether I am hurting or not.

Send me your best physicians and healers. Give me presence of mind, as I walk through the exhaustion of my grief to not settle for just any one no matter how tiresome the journey becomes.

Help me adjust to the idea, that although it appears sometimes that my son is gone, that he is still inside waiting for us to find him.

Infuse the creative part of my mind with solution oriented thinking. Give me hope. Even if it is just a glimmer of hope. A mother can go for miles on just one tiny glimmer. Let me see just a flicker of the sparkle of joy in his eyes.

Guide my hands, calm my mind, as I fill out the multitude of forms for services. Then help me do it again over and over.

Provide me with the knowledge. Lead me to the books I need to read, the organizations I need to connect with.

As you work though the people in my life, help me to recognize those that are here to help. Help me trust the right ones. Shine a light upon the right path.

Give me the courage to speak my truth; to know my son's truth. And to speak for him when he is unable to do it for himself.

Show me when to do for him what he is not capable of doing for himself. Help me to recognize the difference.

Help me to stand tall in the face of the stigma; to battle the discrimination with the mighty sword of a spiritual warrior. And to deflect the sting of blame and faultfinding from the ignorant and the cruel.

Preserve my love for my family. Shield my marriage with the wisdom of the love that brought us together.

Protect him from homelessness, loneliness, victimization, poverty, hunger, hopelessness, relapse, drugs, alcohol, suicide, cruelty and obscurity.

Lead us to the miracles of better medications, better funding, better services, safe and plentiful housing, meaningful employment, communities who care, enlightenment. Help us to find some way to replace all the greed with humanitarian work and intrinsic reward again.

Most of all, give me the strength to deliver whatever I can to the work of unmasking the man made ugliness of this disease and revealing the human and all of it's suffering beneath.

Finally, when it is my time to leave my son behind, send a thousand angels to take my place.

Why Women Cry-POEM

I thought this was beautiful......enjoy....:)


Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides." * * *~ author unknown ~

Interesting Read on IQ scores....

Hidden Smarts: Abstract thought trumps IQ scores in autismBruce BowerThere's more to the intelligence of autistic people than meets the IQ.

" Unlike most individuals, children and adults diagnosed as autistic often score much higher on a challenging, nonverbal test of abstract reasoning than they do on a standard IQ test, say psychologist Laurent Mottron of Hôpital Rivière-des-Prairies in Montreal and his colleagues. The same autistic individuals who score near or below the IQ cutoff for "low functioning" or "mental retardation" achieve average or even superior scores on a test that taps a person's ability to infer rules and to think abstractly about geometric patterns, Mottron's team reports in the August Psychological Science.

"Intelligence has been underestimated in autistics," Mottron says. Autistic people solve problems and deploy neural resources in unusual ways, which are poorly understood and might contribute to problems with IQ tests, he asserts. Mottron regards autism as a variant of healthy neural development. For that reason, his group—including study coauthor Michelle Dawson, herself diagnosed as autistic—prefers the term "autistic" to "person with autism."

The researchers studied 38 autistic children, ages 7 to 16; 13 autistic adults, ages 16 to 43; 24 nonautistic children, ages 6 to 16; and 19 nonautistic adults, ages 19 to 32. Volunteers completed an age-appropriate IQ test and a Raven's Progressive Matrices test. The latter test includes 60 items, each consisting of a series of related geometric designs and a choice of six or eight alternative designs, one of which completes the series.

The nonautistic children and adults scored slightly above the population average on both tests. In contrast, autistic kids and adults scored far higher on the Raven's test than they did on the IQ tests. These youngsters' average IQ was substantially below the population average, but their average score on the Raven's test was in the normal range. One-third of autistic children qualified as "low functioning" by IQ, but only 5 percent did so by Raven's scores.

Moreover, another third of the autistic children achieved "high intelligence" on the Raven's test. As in previous research, autistic volunteers performed well on an IQ task that required them to reproduce geometric designs using colored blocks. The new findings confirm prior indications that autistics score poorly on IQ tests despite processing perceptual information well, comments psychologist Uta Frith of University College London.

In a 2000 study, Frith's team noted that autistic and nonautistic children made equally rapid and accurate visual judgments, such as discerning which of two lines was longer. In people with autism, a lack of social insight derails the ability to acquire skills and information from others, a key to IQ success, Frith theorizes. Autistics thus succeed only on self-explanatory tasks, such as the Raven's test.

The Raven's test may measure autistic intelligence better than an IQ test does, adds psychologist Helen Tager-Flusberg of Boston University. Nonetheless, many autistic children are extremely impaired intellectually, she says. Researchers generally sell short the unique features of autistic intelligence, Dawson responds. For example, autistics shift flexibly back and forth between focusing on details of a scene or its overall configuration, whereas nonautistics single-mindedly concentrate on the big picture, she says. "

Hmmmmmm..............

Another Day..... Another Doc....

Well today we met another Doc yet again fromMH as ours has left-YET AGAIN! Sheesh.....Why is Stinger on Medicaid again-LOLOL;) yi-yi-yigh.....sigh....

But before that we had an apointment to touch base with his case worker. Seams yesterday Stinger got upset as a kid in group was saying something when Stinger thought it was quite time and no one should be talking-punched him. Had another incident in the bathroom with the same kid-knocked his glasses off and scratched him....Therapist says it was a space issue-then I told him what Stinger had told me-abt the name calling. So it was probably a combo of both.....Guess he had to be escorted out of the bathroom and procedded to have a fit as he doesnt like being touched when he is already aggitated. Yet when I questioned Stinger abt it yesterday Stinger said the case worker didnt touch him like the aides at school-he was stronger and case worker didnt hurt him like the aides do.....
And no I wasnt told of any of this-but apparently the case worker KNOWS how to do certain things-even Stinger noticed...sigh......which brought me thinking to school issues again...and now Im festering-especially since the next apt with the new Dr suggested I needed to find a lawyer...LOLOLOL.
Hes quiet an older doc-but I think Im liking him already-I went on and on abt our history at the "school" and he was VERY understanding and actually stated some things that I have NEVER heard from MH personel-actually on MY side-actually on Stingers side-not on the schools-kwim?
But he is VERY concerned abt Stinger and his treatment by the "school"-but he called me a chicken-LOLOLOL, as he said I knew it was not right, that they cant bully me, that what they are doing is not legal. We talked abt the box and abt my trust "issues"-as the school likes to call them. He stated it was a load of bunk, that I had goo dreason to have my so called "trust issues"-LOLOLOL and that I need to contact a lawyer...so I agn am festering..festering abt Stingers next year..wondering what is the right thing to do here....burning any kind of bridge that we might need-I am scared of, yet what they do is wrong......sigh.....

Stinger is actually doing VERY well at home. Hes actively ingaging Flamingo girl and Monkey Boy and asking them to play, sharing......its as if I have a different kid. We have the occasional fit when he throws things-but its nothing like its been when he's in school-agn-are they connected?
Is the school causing Stingers behavior to worsen-if he was home would he be the Stinger I am seeing now? ACK-are you tearing your hair out yet? LOLOLOL

Anyway...the in-home behavior therapist came today. Stinger would have none of anything-wanted to look himslef in his room and then decided to just play outside with the water hose-and its just going to take awhile. Of course he showed no behaviors....LOLOLOL. She said thsi was normal and she presented us with soem rules we might want to consider-I think they are great. So we went over them at dinner. The kids liked them.

One of the rules is if there is a problem then I will ask them to solve it. If they dont or wont, I will solve it-LOLOL
Flamingo doesnt care for this one-saying she doesnt want to solve any of her problems-LOLOLOL
But teh in home therapist will be coming every Tuesday for abt 2 hrs. So every week Ive got to have the house presenteable-LOLOL-good challenge-eh? But she has given me soem good techniques I have forgotten abt or hadnt thought of-so we will give it a go and we shall see........

Well its been awhile-HAPPY 4TH!!!!!:)

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!!!! We did :)
We had a cookout-which was oh so nummy, I made a jello with whip cream on top-BIG HIT! LOLOL :) Go figure that one -eh? ;)

Then we headed out to Brigham to see the firework show-which is always awesome. The only thing missing was Papa and Nana:( We sure miss them :( The band played Fiddler on the Roof during the hour we were waiting. I thought of my Dad-doing his dance:"if I were a rich man" and I found myself smiling. :)

Fireworks started at 10 and they were marvelous. I always get chooked up when hearing America songs-one that stood out was really good"Here in America..In God We Still Stand" oh it was beautiful!!!!!It pulled at my heart. We are sure a blessed country-we sure are a blessed people arent we. Blair has been quoted as saying the true worth of a country is counted as to how many people are trying to get out and how many people are trying to get in. Doesnt take much to realize how blessed we truly are does it? Lisa-a blogger friend posted The Declaration-and yes I too beleieve it was Truly inspired of God:but we should all read it again, and again, and again.....

THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


But the night went great. The fireworks were right on top of us. The kids all layed down and just had to look up-they thought that was wonderful. Monkey boy was all giggles-he enjoyed them soo much and would roll over with excitement-LOLOL Stinger lay still as a statue with a big grin plastered on his face-too funny-but def in his moment. And then Flamingo-asking when it would be over as she was bored-LOLOLOL. HUH? LOLOLOLOL

But very nice-very nice indeed :)

Today has been a sad day for Flamingo-and me as well just seeing her heart break again and again-not being able to comfort her. She has been nursing a baby bird who fell out of its nest for a couple days now. Feeding it water with a Q-tip, catching every kind of bug imagineable to try and feed it. Keeping it out of the sun, talking to it, trying to teach it how to fly back up to the tree where it needed to be. She says they were best friends and she was mourning that friendship she formed with this bird today. She had even named it "caramel"......sigh....

This morning she awoke and checked on her little friend to find him still and cold. She awoke Mom and said his eyes looked funny-not realizing he had died in the night...sigh....We walk over together and that walk was sooo hard to take with her-as I just KNEW what had happend. She looked up at me and tears started to fill her eyes as she asked what was wrong with her little bird friend? She has been fighting back tears all day-as caramel keeps creeping into her mind she says. She wants to hear her bird in Heaven-she wants to talk with her friend as she says her friend is still in her heart :( and she doesnt understand why in Heaven her friend cant talk to her now....

I tell her to smile as her friend is happy now as he is all better and is flying with God now:) Does no good to soothe her hurt inside. I tell her about me as a child trying to nurse baby birds also and feeling so sad when they left. But that they needed their Momma-their Momma was the only thing that could have made them better, even though I had tried as best I could to get them right again-they needed their mothers care and love. I realize nothing I say is going to take that hurt away-so I hold her tightly in my arms as her tears keep falling.

We got a little box lined with tissue paper. We taped it shut and Flamingo wrote "Kamel" on top of the box with a big red heart and signed her name at the bottom. We go out back and dig a hole and layed it to rest in a nice spot. Falmingo says "Be careful flying up in Heaven Caramel." She looks at me and tells me that God will take care of him now. She picked some flowers and put them on top and a twig to mark it. She has since been back to visit that exact spot Id say probably 5 times today......She went to bed tonight sniffing back tears.......

Oh- who knew what a hard job this "Mothering" would be....sigh......

My children teach me every day.....and my heart grows bigger and bigger with each new lesson learned....

Redefining the Workplace-article

Sometimes I get concerned when I think about the future....
But this article really gave some positive attributes that I need to help promote in Stinger that he already shines with:)


Autistic Traits: A Plus for Many Careers
From Lisa Jo Rudy,Your Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Redefining the Workplace for Autistic Teens and Adults:

Since when have passion, meticulous attention to detail, and lack of interest in office gossip been problems in the workplace? Since the workplace was defined as a 9-5 social setting! It's true that offices -- and the stock rooms at Walmart -- are "typical" work settings. But autistic people aren't typical. And neither are the careers for which they're ALREADY good candidates.

He Just Can't See the Forest for the Trees:

It's a common trait among autistic people: they see the parts instead of the whole. It's a problem in some settings, but a terrific attribute if you're looking for... deep space anomalies (as an astronomer), unique cells (as a lab technician), differences among species (as a biological researcher), particular qualities of objects (as a gemologist, antiques appraiser, or art historian).

Her Only Friends Are Her Family:

This trait may not get you invited to the prom. But it's a wonderful attribute if you're... a forest ranger; a self-employed writer or artist; a caretaker at an estate; a gardener or horticulturalist; or even a paleontologist (dinosaur scientist). After all, lack of interest in other people is not indicative of lack of interest in or ability to manage things, animals, or systems. And it's not easy to find a qualified person who's willing to spend extended periods on their own.

All He Cares About in the World Is... [Fill In the Blank]:

If you've ever worked at museum, lab or university, you'll find worlds full of single-minded, passionate people. To an academic, their area of interest, no matter how small, is desperately interesting. The same is true of museum professionals and archaeologists, who spend their lives studying individual artifacts, bones or textiles.

She Thinks In Pictures, But It's Hard for Her to Understand Conversations:

Some autistic people can, with virtually no effort, envision a 2-dimensional photograph as a 3-dimensional object. With appropriate training, such people are ideal candidates for jobs in areas like CAD (computer aided design), architectural model construction, industrial design, exhibit prototyping, and much more. The key is finding and supporting the training that can lead to such careers.

He's So Rule-Oriented That He Drives People Crazy!:

In a typical workplace, most people bend and break the rules. This is very tough for many autistic people, who need and respond to structure. But there are plenty of work places in which rules are absolute -- for everyone. Of course, the most obvious choice for rule-oriented people is the military. But even in hospitals and labs, rule-following is not only important -- it's critical.

She Likes Animals, Not People!:

It's not easy to become a veterinarian. But consider some of the many, many animal-oriented careers available. Caring for horses at a stable, horse-farm or track. Working on a farm. Zookeeper or animal curator at a zoo or petting farm. Animal wrangler for the entertainment industry. Naturalist or husbandry expert at a museum or aquarium. Pet store employee. Animal tech at a veterinary practice or kennel. The list goes on and on!

Keeping an Open Mind: What's out there?

Who's doing it? For people on the autism spectrum, the answers need to be as wide ranging as possible. Whether your autistic loved one is a dinosaur devotee or crazy about computers, with a college degree or GED, there are career options available. Take a close look at your child's passions, abilities and needs, and the wide world of possible careers. He or she may already be halfway there.
Updated: October 1, 2006

The POOL.....

well...well.......what started as an "OH NO...sigh"...turned into a "can we come back here tomorrow.

It was a process dont get me wrong. A title such as "the Pool" wont seam so criticle or nail biting to some...but for Stinger it was....

We walk into the building. We hear shouting and can see behind teh window much noise and splashing as kids are having fun in teh pool area. Immediately Stinger hides behind Flamingo and Monkey Boy. "Im not going in" as he peers out from hiding. The "Im not going in" wasnt meant in the pool, as I had figured-but not going into anything-not the doors leading to the locker rooms, not the pool most defenitely, but was meant as a big NO moving anywhere. "Im going to stay right here by these candy machines Mom," as I am keeping track out of my corner eyes of a Monkey Boy and Flamingo eager to go...
"Stinger you dont have to go in the water, just come into the locker rooms with us, I cant leave you out here all alone." "No" says Stinger.

This goes on for about 15 minutes.

Finally we slowllllly make our way into the locker room. Stinger being quite upset abt the floor being wet-me just telling him it was pool water???LOLOLOL We get a locker(forgot to bring a lock with me)but everyone takes off their clothes and shoes and puts them into locker-all but Stinger. He doesnt want to go anywhere else and wont take off clothes or flip-flops.

I tell him again that he doesnt have to do anything he is not comforteable with doing-just to come where I go.

So we finally make our way to the showers-no one wanted to get wet-no signs saying you had to, so we passed it. We opened the doors leading out to the pool-Stinger still in his clothes everyone else ready to go. But he follows.

I get in the water, Monkey Boy follows and Flamingo hot on the trail. Each putting on vests as they were all very nervous. Stinge rlooking down at us not wanting to get wet or come in etc still. He tells me quitely taht he might get in, but we all have to stay on the steps with him and he states that he is wearing his shirt. I say okay that is fine Stinger. THEN...boom-he takes off his shirt and gets IN THE WATER!!!!!!

His face was sooooo cute and funny-he liked it, but wasnt so sure abt everything still. Said he wanted a vest-so I get out-he follows and I get a vest. Flamingo and Monkey boy LOVED it-had one occasion each when they happend to step off the step-freaked out, but were fine. Mom to the rescue;)

Stinger got more and more brave. Monkey boy was just lovin every minute of it, and Flamingo even wanted to take off her vest. So I rented some tubes to float in and they all got their own and had sooo much fun.

Monkey boy went ard the whole pool(3.5 ft) just swimming with his float and vest on-he was just truckin it-LOLOL It was sooo funny! He ha dsoo much fun.

Flamingo kept wanting to take her vest off and was very brave and loved the tube ring float as well. She swam with her ring to the ropes and she was pleased with herself;)LOLOLOL

Stinger took to climbing all over his float ring and just floted ard-he was sooo funny.

Flamingo and Stinger played pool basketball as well-and Stinger took off his jacket realizing he could stand in the water on his toes and was comforteable with that.

We stayed abt 4 hours-if that says anything!!! LOLOLOL With pleas to come back the next day :) So it was a BIG HIT!!!! We will be going on Mon, Wed, and Fridays :) They are all anxiously awaiting tomorrow :)

They all spent abt 15 min in the showers after-I think the pool and the showers were a toss up-they loved the warm water that would spray out of them -LOLOL:)

Everyone did SOOOO well-I AM a PROUD, PROUD Momma again :)

A Poem.....

This was sent on one of my group lists......

My Mom she tells alot of lies,
That she never did before,
But from now until she dies,She'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my mom how she is,
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie,
Because she can't describe the pain.

Ask my mom how she is,
She'll say "I'm alright"
If that's the truth, then tell,
why she cries each night?

Ask my mom how she is,
she seems to cope so well,
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.

Ask my mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping"
For goodness sake mom tell the truth,
your heart is broken.

She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine,
But if you ask how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am here in Heaven,
I cannot hug her here,
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,
I'll smile and be bold,
I'll say, "Mom you are lucky to get in here."
With all the lies you told.


Yes...guilty.....

Ill update on the POOL tonight-it was FANTASTIC!!!!Cart Wheel FANTASTIC!!! :) WHOOT!

Hard days.....

I wont post too much about yesterday-lets just say I was exhausted when I went to bed last night :(

Stinger was having MAJOR meltdowns over SILLY things-histerically crying and getting mad at everyone he came into contact with agn......I think we had abt 5 episodes yesterday-which is alot more than the norm....

Ive been trying to keep things really structured ard here-but I guess yesterday I gave them too much free time and Stinger just couldnt handle it very well. The other kids love free time and can find things to do-but free time for Stinger -too much of it anyway and he gets very frustrated. So Ive got to coem up with something ard here-everyday at least-which is going to be exhausting-LOLOLOL.

C thought up a very good idea abt having him help me cook-making menus and fixing lunches and things-since he is still being so very picky abt things. Which I think sounds wonderful and I am anxious to try this. He gets so agitated-for instance the other day a fly landed on his food and he refused to take one bite of anything-as it was now contaminated with "fly germs" ..sigh...things like this and I am just glad he IS eating-kwim? But we will try the helping with meals and see if that helps-and like she said-whats the worst he could do----not eat! and hes already doing that one-LOLOL;)

Today was friendship group and Stinger was sooo excited to go. It was funny watching him run ard making sure he was all ready to go-he even trimmed his nails-LOLOLOL and every 5 min he was asking me if it was time to go.

Seams he had a rough time today though-got into it with a girl who was touching the computer when she shouldnt be and he told her to stop touching it, then took it upon himself to handle it by pushing her down. Then she said she was going to bite him-which upset him more as he was just trying to have her follow the rules-yadda yadda.....

I talked with the therapist and he says hes just not seeing the change in Stinger with his socialising. That he just has no desire to do so. That he can be taught the right thing to do, but thats not going to make him want to be ard others. But he is pleased that stinger is choosing to cooperate and be ard others some of the time. But he said Stinger can only take so much and then he withdraws agn-which is clearly his ASD. He knows its waht is expected and weil do it for so long, but he clearly would rather just be by himself and is completely happy when he is left to do that.

And this is what im always contimplating-that he can be taught, but no one is going to change the way he is and what he finds enjoyeable-which is to be by himself. And should we? ????Because when we force he gets frustrated, overwhelmed and annoyed.....So therein lies the question abt isolating oneself-is it good ,is it bad, and who says what is good and bad? ???something to fester abt for sure......its his safe place and what is wrong with having a safe place.....mine was the bathtub when I was younger...LOLOLOL.hmmmm.LOLOLOLOL

Therapist also said not to force apoligys-stating it becomes a power strugle and Stinger will forget what he did and focus on the apoligy-well not saying it. and we want him to understand what he did was wrong-not focus on the apoligy-which is what it turns into...Which make sense. So Ive been forcing at home and having powere struggles, which is what he says will happen-so I will stop and suggest and state that it is the right thing to do, decide on a punishment(timeout-doenst work, taking away priveledges-doesnt work)and then be done......should be interesting....but Im up to trying abt anything.....cause what Im doing aint cutting it....Im learning much interesting tips from these therapists....things I never thought abt-maybee they do sometimes know what they are talking about....well lets not get too carried away Momma Bear! LOLOLOL

Tomorrow is THE POOL!!!!! :) Im crossing my fingers and toes its a good time for ALL....Im sure Ill be writing agn tomorrow-LOLOLOL;)

Lady, get control of your kid

I LOOOOOOVED this........


"LADY, get control of your KID!"
by Kristyn Crow More from this Blogger

Those of us with behaviorally disordered kids get them all the time: Stares. Glares. Looks of indignation. Eye rolls. Huffs. Puffs. Expressions that say, "Lady, get control of your kid!"

So this blog is dedicated to those people who shoot the looks of disapproval.

It may look like I have failed miserably at raising a well-behaved child. He appears to be an ordinary kid who somehow turned into a monster from bad parenting. And maybe he is irritating you. Maybe you're annoyed beyond belief at my child's outbursts. You've had a long day, and my kid is whining, stomping his feet, and refusing to stand still. He's bumping into you in line. He's giving you a headache. Taxing, I know.
Just to enlighten you, I spend a great deal of my life "getting control of my kid." That includes visits with doctors, therapists, counselors, special education teachers, and behavioral specialists. I read books, articles, and often resort to my own trial-and-error experiments. My child has a disability; it's just not immediately apparent from his appearance. My all-consuming job of parenting this child is exhausting. And there are times I sit at home in frustrated contemplation, wondering what I could do better. I want to help my child fit in to the real world. But he is unique in every way. God designed him like that, perhaps to teach the rest of us a little patience and restraint. And maybe unconditional love.
The truth is, I'm a very good parent. I'm devoted. I use discipline, and I've exhausted various "time out" strategies. I don't eat bonbons and watch sitcoms while my kid has his run of the place. I haven't pampered him and spoiled him rotten, creating the reactions you're seeing. I'm not some kind of lame-brain who shouldn't have the right to be a parent. And I don't mean you any harm. I'd simply like to purchase the macaroni and cheese and cheerios in my cart, and be on my way. But it does mean that you might be inconvenienced.
I love my child.
Forgive the disruption, and thanks for understanding. (Do you?)

Odds and Ends.....

Well today went well. :)

Today was Stingers social group at his homeschool. He was very nervous abt everything-very quite. I was overjoyed when I got there as the one lady whom Stinger cliques with was there as well as his favorite therapist who he sees. So that was good. Alot of the same kids who where in his weekly group are there too-including a little girl whom Stinger seasm to "like"He gets all silly talking about her-LOLOLOL. But he said he had a good time-which was excellent in my book :) WHOOT! I told him the only thing he needed to remember was to HAVE FUN! And it seams he did :)

I asked the teachers how he did when I picked him up. They said he was very quite-withdrawn at first(which I figured he would be)then he got into it, then became withdrawn again.

I told them I was happy he at least got into it-as I had thought he would have been very quiet , it being his first day and all the whole time today-kwim? But he wasnt-he wanted to get involved some of the time-which was agn-EXCELLENT!!!! WHOOT!

So it looks like a good thing for him this summer. :)

The pool is closed this week for cleaning-I told Stinger and he WAS pleased :)LOLOLOL I told him they were really cleaning it good to get ALLLLLLL the germs out. We had a LONG discussion abt it-and he is looking forward to going to the pool now. :)

This week I got a Round Robbin(something that goes ard-its from a PECS(picture schedules etc, ABA stuff) group I am on online with) The box was filled with soooo much stuff. So I have been printing like CRAZY!!!!They have some AWESOME social stories, along with many PECS pictures and many ABA type deals to do at home. So I have started the schedule again-which is good for all the kids and they enjoy putting each activity in the envelope when it is finished :) They also love knowing what we are planning on doing that day-which keeps me in check-which is a good thing too ;)

Ive also been looking at starting an ABA program at home-here is a short video abt it:
http://www.drcarbone.net/videos.aspx

This lady is AWESOME and I hope to be able to do the same with teaching to Stinger.

Everyone is ALWAYS talking abt ABA and how it can help-and Ive alwasy thought Stinger wouldnt benefit from such a program. But I ran into something called AVB-which stands for verbal behavior-which is what they are doing in the video.

Stinger could benefit from this I think.....The whole thing is abt speed and being able to speak quicker-having a quicker thought process. As when you are talking with someone you need to be able to be right up on your thought processes-kwim? Which Stinger needs help with in processing info and responding back etc. So I have been trying this with Stinger and the other kiddoes. Flamingo is really quick and she flies through it. Its not a big challenge for her. Monkey boy struggles a bit but not as much as Stinger. So Ive been mainly focusing on Stinger-but the others like to "play" :) especially when treats are involved-LOLOLOL

And its rather fun too-so why not. On the outside these programs cost an arm and a leg-and I MIGHT look into it if I see an improvement with Stinger. But I will try it myself first. So Ive been printing off cards and things. You can make it as high functioning as you need depending on the child and what skills you want to teach etc. Im enjoying it anyway......and so is Stinger. He doesnt like to clap and things, but hes looking at me and doing well with what he is comforteable doing to start anyway....

But anyway-thats what we have been up to here.

Tomorrow is story time at the library-which Stinger doesnt care too much for-he just ussually goes ard with me and tries to find books to check out while Monkey Boy and Flamingo sing and do activities etc.

But everyone enjoys going still.....

Talents Required To Parent An ASD Child....

I thought these were soooooo very funny, yet so very true! LOLOLOLOL

Contributed by BBB Members: Lynn, Jen, Khris, Becca, Bernie, Liz, Diana, Sue and Michelle


* Sense of Humor (7)
*Ability to listen to any and all information ever collected about global warming
* A heavy-duty super-capacity washer/drier combo with a very good guarantee
* A fondness for Corel Livingware rather than fine china
* A very well made tough VCR that can withstand constant pause, rewind and fast forward
* Patience by the dump truck load
* The ability to boil your cabbages at least a dozen times! (to repeat yourself time and again)
* The ability to make a schedule and then live by it!
* The ability to plan your life way in advance!
* The ability to love a child unconditionally through all that this disorder will put him through!
* The ability to answer the same question but put 100 different ways.
* The ability to hide in a supermarket after your child has just called a worker an idiot, because they were out of stock.
* Boardroom level skills of negotiation.
* The ability to think ahead or always be 1 step ahead of your child.
* To have to smarts to keep tons of AA batteries in the house.
· The flexibility to adapt to what your child can not
* The multitasking capability to do 12 things at once
* A very large can of Scotchguard
* A good friend who has been through "the system"
* A really fast internet connection and a list of sites
*”Sensory toys"
* Endless financial resources
* A housekeeper that comes daily
* A big bottle of Advil (or something stronger)
* The address to the BBB Autism Club
· The ability to see and experience imperfection and let that be ok...
· The ability to accept the world and circumstances as they are but strive onwards without giving into despair...
· Unconditional Love
· Be able to cook, shop, etc...at a quick pace especially if your child's with you
· Understanding
· Persistence, assertiveness...so that you can advocate for your child.
· ‘A case of beer couldn’t hurt, LOL’
· A hearing aid you can turn off once in awhile, lol
· Hostage Negotiator

JOYS....of Summer???and so it begins.....LOLOLOL

LOLOL-well dont that title say it all!LOLOLOLOLOL

Its been really wet weather lately and the kids are getting bored already and its only been a week-eek!LOLOLOL But Ive been looking into the pool in town and I think we will give it a go this year. Stinger isnt thrilled-but like anything I think if I can coax him into it-he will enjoy it. So Im going to get the family pass and we will be going ALOT...we will see.......

Stinger had a doc apt on Tuesday. We went over some things agn and of course the OCD came up agn.....I talked with the doc abt Stingers aggression at home and how things can get out of control fast. I told him he had been doing really well at school and he said that this was proof that Stinger CAN do it.....hmmmpft.....kinda felt like he was saying the problem was me-which is the first time I have walked away from MH feeling this way-and initially I had worried abt them implying things like this when we started going through this "system".....but up until this point I hadnt felt like they were doing this......:(
I talked with a friend and she pointed out an interesting thing which I hadnt taken into consideration though....The last two weeks were VERY low key for Stinger-getting parties, prizes, not expecting much from him-he was coming home all smiles......I could def tell the last week he was having a good time-which compared to all year was different to say the least. He actually told me he liked the school-which blew me away.....so something was different-something that had changed which wasnt the same as it had been all year......
So that explains the good behavior, and that it doesnt necessarily mean its "Momma's fault"...sigh......they were letting him leave with a good feeling, wanting him to want to come back...
I dont know......maybee it is me....I dont appreciate them saying it though-LOLOLOLOL. The doc at Childrens said it had NOTHING to do with our parenting-yet MH is now saying yes after two weeks of good behavior?????

Anyway-the Doc brought in the therapist who works with Stinger to set up something where a behavior specialist comes in the home and works with the family ....Which I think we need...but from the horror stories I have learned abt people coming into the home-it makes me nervous to open our home up like that. So many people say do NOT let any state person come in as they will have their own ideas and nothing you are doing is going to be good enough for them. And believe me when I say horror stories-you think of it and it has happend to some poor families....go to some sights and check it out for yourselves......some of these people are just evil.....and it just makes me uneasy.

So I dont know......Stingers aggression to his sibs and the dogs and to me is something that we need to deal with and take care of......but doc doesnt want to up anything until this behavior person has come......exactly what they do I have NO idea. So maybee I will call and ask to talk with them???I dont know.......I just know that whatever I know to do isnt working.....and its not all the time...so they might come out and not see a darn thing anyway......what to do what to do.....?

Stinger starts his social summer group next Tuesday. He wasn't thrilled abt it as its at his homeschool. But we got some luncheables and he's good to go now;)LOLOLOLOL Funny how such a small thing can pick him up.....and help him change his mind......

Tonight he is out in the TV room with me-he's got the spooks for some reason. He's been waking up and calling for me-wanting to make sure I am downstairs still.

Something VERY interesting he said to me tonight:
He wants to share a room with MonkeyBoy-he wants Monkey boy in his room!!!!!!We went over it for quiet awhile-me telling him how if he shared a room how Monkey boy would get into his toys and things-he didnt mind. Me telling him how its nice at night when you are scared, but would he still want him in there during the day when he likes to come home from school and be by himself-he said that was fine. Sooooooo....we will see abt that tomorrow-if hes still thinking the same.....

Im thinking it would be wonderful for both of them. But then I wonder if it WOULD be the best thing after all.
Seams there is always a "but" to something ard here......

Summer's Comin'.............WHOOT!

Well Its that time again. When I can breathe a sigh of relief. Not any easier mind you, but at least if there is something that comes up I, repeat I, am there to take care of it :) That does wonders for my stress level during the day-;)LOLOLOL

Stinger has done wonderful these past two weeks. He's on level 4-WHOOT! This week it has sunk in how fun school can be when you are making the right choices-getting prizes for reaching his goals, getting to do fun things, and going to the store. I think he has realized just that things are good when hes making good choices-the aides are nicer, the kids are nicer etc. School isnt that bad right now in his mind.

Im so happy he will be leaving with a good feeling abt this school. He will be there agn next year, which is a good plan I think-as he still has things he needs to work on, but overall I think its going to work out. Times this year I just wasnt so sure, but we have just had to get through the tough times one day at a time. I tend to look over the school like a momma bear and I realized this year that sometimes that is called for, but sometimes Stinger needs this push and I just need to stand back and help him through it-not make it go away-kwim?

So I think we have both been adjusting this year and I have figured some things out somewhat right along with Stinger. :)

But today is his last day of school. Pizza party, treats and a trip to the store are on the agenda-so Im pretty sure it will be a good day. One thing I have noticed at this school is that parties and field trips, just things that are not of the normal routine he has handled alot better here. Whereas at his other school he wasnt given as much direction and he quickly fell apart because of it. I think it has given him more confidence in himself to try new things that he would otherwise be too anxious abt.

Flamingo's last day was last Thursday. She has just been having a ball playing with Puppy and swinging to her little hearts content-LOLOLOL. Billy has been overjoyed to have her home all day. Each night he will ask me if she is going to school the next day and he lets out a joyful yell when I tell him "no-she will be home all day":)

I am excited to work more in my garden and just enjoy being outside more all day with the kids.
My tomatoe plants arent doing so well...but my lettuce and peas are doing good-not ready to eat yet, but in the near future :) Summer trip to Papas and Nanas, trips to Lagoon, pool, beach. FUN-FUN-FUN!!!!!!Ahhhhhhhhhhh........:)

Little Updates.......

Well Stinger has done remarkeably well these past two weeks since we tweaked some things. He has actually been working for his level 4 status and wants to stay there :)Hes doing so much better...at school......he got to go to the store today and came home with a load of treats and little toys(as he hasnt been on level 3 or 4 in awhile and all his points have added up...LOLOLOL.

His home behavior I havent really noticed a difference-if anything its a bit worse. Example:

Today he bought a soldier army guy at the school store. But when he came home and was showing me all his prizes it was no where to be found. He immediately went through every crevase of his backpack-frantic to find it-went outside 5-6 times to look for it (as he might have dropped it off the bus etc)agn went through his backpack 2 times more.

I realized at this point that it wasnt going to be found and braced myself for this aftermath when he would realize this too.....you could just see it building. I told Flamingo and Monkey boy to go to their rooms or downstairs-anywhere they would be safe and I went to the kitchen. Tried talking with him abt it-wasnt listening, wouldnt listen to anything and anyone who was ard him was going to get his wrath. And poor Bell was caught right in the middle, as I forgot to take her in the kitchen with me.

So I go out-accidently say something and get Bell-cant even remember what I said and I get a smack in the stomach-he has maybee hit me once-when I first tried to hold him a LONGGGGGGGGGGGG time ago when he was angry-Ive since realized I CANT do this and I just make sure everyone is safe and leave him...but he followed me this time....

It left a red mark, but didnt hurt, but would have if it had been the other kids etc. But
he is hollering and just histerical abt this lost man he had bought.....so I call the bus-no answer, call the school-no answer. So Ive got to explain to him that its lost and we are just going to have to W-A-I-T until Monday......BOY-that set him off more.....he told me that he wasnt going anywhere(which we were going to Flamingos Girl Scout awards) Started to get undressed-said he wasnt going anywhere agn. Until I went to the school and got another guy for him. Couldnt do that -so he got all worked up agn.

ANYWAY-he finally cooled down and we all got into the car. When we got home Stinger said" its not such a big deal is it mom?"????????

So things like this that I had hoped would be helped-are getting more intense.....he tells me that he cant help doing some things-like things he will do impulse wise(kick the dog, smack his sibs) he wont even be mad, but they can only be ard him for limited amts of time it seams...

I talked with him abt this tonight and he immediately went to Bell and gave her a hug and said sorry.....so I dont think he can help this impluse hitting or smacking....question is-how do we stop it?????

10 Ways a Special Needs Child Will Change You Forever

by Kristyn Crow

"Having a son or daughter with special needs transforms us. There is just no way around it-we are shaped and chiseled from the inside out. It's a process not without pain, but the ultimate rewards are great. Here are ten ways that a special needs child will change you forever:

1. Perspective shift.
There's something about having a child who is struggling to master simple language, develop motor skills, or maintain basic health that changes your perception of things. Now, whether or not you get a new pair of shoes to wear to the Brewster's Christmas party doesn't seem to matter anymore. And that old argument with your sister seems petty. (Or at least it should.) The things that truly matter most... family, love, and service, become much more apparent.

2. Compassion.
Once you have dealt with the pain and worry of a scary diagnosis for your child, you suddenly understand how other people in the same predicament must feel. Now, rather than divert your eyes from the child in the wheelchair at the mall, you're likely to smile, and nod to his parent. There's a deep bond you can form with other parents who have traveled the same road. And when you hear stories of someone close to you whose child is having problems, you feel a stronger longing to connect and reach out. You don't think, "I'm glad that's not me," you think, "What can I do to help?"

3. Patience.
A special needs child requires a considerable amount of patience... whether you are putting up with terrible behaviors or teaching a new skill. It can be long, grueling, thankless work. You feel that if your kid has one more tantrum you're going to lose it. You're frustrated that she needs so much constant attention. But as your patience is stretched to the limit, it also increases.

4. Unconditional Love. Your special child has taught you that looks don't matter when it comes to your ability to love. And you've also learned that's it's possible to love someone with other imperfections. This realization can help you personally feel more worthy of love, and you might just be better able to love yourself and forgive yourself of your shortcomings. All of your own foibles can be put into the proper perspective. After all, is love about meeting the world's expectations? Or is it devotion to another human being...a willingness to share the journey of life with all the obstacles that may come along the way?

5. Joy in the Little Things.
When my son Kyle first wrote his name I broke down and cried. I had predicted it to take much longer, and when he wrote those clumsy letters on the page my heart leapt. "He wrote his name! He wrote his name!" With my older son, this feat was an expectation, and just another notch on his accomplishment belt. It didn't bring me the joy I felt when Kyle had done the very same thing. With a special needs child, every little goal achieved is a reason to celebrate. Even smiles have more impact.

6. Abandoning Ego.
Before our son or daughter is born, we envision him or her being a "mini-me" who looks just like us and has near super-abilities. When we learn this is not going to be reality, we have to let go of our own over-arching ego. Just because our child is different does not mean we are less worthy human beings. It doesn't mean we have flawed genes or that we are hated by God or the forces of the universe. We can see ourselves as unique and separate from our child while still loving him and being devoted to meeting his needs.

7. Spiritual Growth or Openness.
When we feel more humbled by our circumstances, we're more likely to seek answers about our connection to a higher being and the cosmos. We have a stronger desire to feel that someone or something else is in charge and we are being cared for and guided at a distance.

8. Seeing the Inner Person.
Since we know that our own child is much more than what other people see on the outside, we're also likely to get to know the inner-traits of others. Even children who don't speak often have an incredibly powerful soul that can impact people. We learn to see past the outer shell and look deeper.

9. Becoming less judgemental.
It's hard to be as critical of people when you see your own limitations as a parent so clearly. And since you're already learning to love your child unconditionally, you are automatically less likely to judge people for their shortcomings.

10. Life has more purpose.
With your child's diagnosis, you are immediately plunged into seeing the plight of others firsthand. Even though your child's symptoms and prognosis are unique, there are others who are walking a similar road. Now it becomes more important to help promote research. "These children need help! Why isn't more being done?" You probably didn't care much about these causes before. But now you're an instant advocate who understands that every individual can make a difference.

There are few experiences as refining as raising a child with a disability. As you help this little person find his way, recognize that with all your struggles and heartache, you just might be increasing and expanding your soul. "

A Kindred Spirit....

Okay everyone-I found a mother here and she just is amazing.....She has many more children that I, but amazing how I can so relate to her messages on her blog heres a sample:

Now Hiring: MORNING MOM
by Kristyn Crow More from this Blogger

"Mornings at my house are rather chaotic. So I thought I would post an opening for a "Mom" to replace me so that I can sleep in one weekday. If anyone is interested in this position, contact me at your earliest convenience.

Job Position: Substitute MOM (Well, at least for one morning.)

Date Available: Immediately

Job Description: Start rousing six of your seven children at 6:50 a.m. Dispense medication. Get into a discussion with your ten-year-old about why orange doesn't match with purple, and how there's a big ketchup stain on her shirt and why didn't she put those clothes in the laundry yesterday? Hear the sixteen-year-old inform you that there isn't any bread for sandwiches, while the twelve-year-old complains that his shirt is wrinkly and needs ironing.

Drive as fast as you can to the nearest grocery store to buy bread, only to realize you left your wallet at the house. Get on your hands and knees and search the bottom of your twelve-passenger van for spare change. Find a quarter stuck to an old lollipop and two torn dollar bills inside a sock. Rush back into the grocery store and buy the bread. Race home to see your fourteen-year-old special-needs child board his bus with his hair sticking straight up in a bizarre bed-head mohawk. Frantically signal him to fix his hair as he gives you a perplexed look and the bus drives away.

Drive the sixteen-year-old to school, lecturing him about testing his blood sugar four times a day. Return home to find the ten-year-old and the eight-year-old engaged in warfare, with spilled cereal running from the countertop onto the floor. Spend the next ten minutes trying to get somebody to confess. End up cleaning the mess yourself. Take ten more minutes teaching the twelve-year-old to iron his shirt, because he says you "do it better than he does." Hear the honk of the carpool, and the wail of the eight-year-old who can't find his shoes. Get on your hands and knees and frantically search under couches and in invisible crevices for the shoes. Find just one. Hear another honk from the carpool. Send the eight-year-old out the door in one of his old pairs of shoes, as he wails in protest. Hear the wailing all the way down the street as the car drives away. Sigh with relief.

Notice the four-year-old enter the room, asking for cereal. Pour the wrong kind, and engage in a disagreement about whether or not that was the kind she asked for. Pour the "right" kind, and eat the wrong kind yourself so you won't waste the milk. Turn on the T.V. and listen to Barney sing. Change the channel when your daughter isn't looking. When she notices, shrug and change it back. Receive a phone call from the elementary school. The eight-year-old forgot his lunch money. Realize you haven't showered. Wonder whether anybody would notice if you just didn't. Spend fifteen minutes getting the four-year-old cleaned up and into her car booster seat. Drive to the school. This time remember your wallet, but not your checkbook.

Salary: Some occasional "I love you, Mommys," and several crayon-colored Mother's Day Cards. A few petunias planted in paper cups. A beautiful bouquet picked from the neighbor's yard. A million funny memories and an occasional feeling of satisfaction. A morning and a life well-spent."


Hey-my life doesnt seam so stressful after all now does it? ;)LOLOLOL

Dinosaurs...are a GO! WHOOT! :)

Well today was the awaited field trip with the reg classroom. Stinger has been up and down about it all week-very nervous abt me not being there, being ard the other kids, scared abt getting lost there, not wanting to ride the bus with the other kids etc. Just you name it-and hes been worrying about it....

The spec ed teacher and I have been talking with each other about it and with Stinger all week-but this morning we both still had no idea what Stinger would decide to do. He had been told that he didnt have to go and could stay in the room at school and play etc instead. That idea appealed to him as well-as he would have the pirate toys all to himself and be by himself all day....but then he thought hed get bored in there too...LOLOL-So he kept going back and forth about it.

I called the school this morning and found out that he had decided to go and that the teacher had been in contact with the aide that went with him and that they were doing really well and were having fun....they were just walking ard together-as Stinger didnt want to be ard the other kids, but they were doing well and Stinger was having a good time :) WHOOT!!!!

I'm so happy he decided to go. I know he really wanted to go-he was excited abt it, but his worries were getting to him. Im proud that he took control of what he wanted to do and was a trooper and went and handled it really well despite all his worries :) WAY TO GO STINGER!!!!

He came home and for the first time this year he had ALOT to say abt his Day!!! LOLOLOL
So I KNOW he had a blast and he was proud of himself too-he said "Mom-it WASNT scary at all" LOLOL:) The look on his face would have brought you to tears. It was a face I will remember thats for sure .....

Such a small thing-a no biggie some might say. For the average child, for the average parent today might have meant nothing. But to Stinger it was a big thing-it was a biggie. To me-it was a momentous independant day-a day I let go and watched my littel boy shine without my hands to hold on to. A day I am sure he will remember as a day he took charge of his anxiety and let himself finally have FUN!

Proud Momma?-you betcha!

Labels and More Labels and odds and ends....ugh...

Well as most of you have heard abt it-since I have gotten approved for Medicaid we had to switch docs. I was really bummed abt it....but decided to give everything and everyone a chance.
So we met with him on Tuesday. He hit it off with Stinger really quick-as he used to raise honeybees" How ironic is that one???LOLOLOL They went on and on abt bees this and bees that -Stinger just reallywas impressed with this man:)
One of the thrills of meeting or changing a doc is that you have to start over at day one with them and repeat everything you have ever thought or said to anyone. Diagnosis, testing, you name it-it all has to be said agn. No lab work has been done-which I had wondered abt, but figured teh other doc knew what he was doing...but apparently not. Medicaid mandates lab work be done to test certian levels if on certain meds. So we are supposed to be going to the lab ...soon....which I am happy abt. We will see what those results say.....
He agreed with the PDD-NOS diagnosis, but said OCD kept ringing in his ear also and said many children have this along with their ASD. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
So Stinger was given another label for them to put on his chart. NOW I know what so many others have said and told me abt. How depending on the doc depends on what label is given to your child...and the list just keeps on growing it seams......
But at least its a start of some understanding ...maybee..for me at least. Ive been looking it up online, but many say the online info isnt worth much. So I got some books from the library. If Im not posting as much-Im deep in a book someplace-LOLOLOL;)
Stinger has been doing better at school-we upped some things -so its who knows ard here these days. Im supposed to watch a week and report back etc....so we shall see.
The doc said it wasnt good to give Stinger choices to eat and what to eat....said I need to set firmer limits with this and if he goes to bed hungry for 2-3 days-he will eventually eat.
Easier said than done-he doesnt have to live with it for that 2-3 days now does he???;)LOLOL
He also mentioned that the meds make him dry out-which could explain all the problems we have been having in that other area-which no other doc ever told me....sigh....so Ive been pushing water-which isnt hard as Stinger LOVES ICE cold water :)
Stingers attitude has been really short lately-kinda like we were at the beginning. He's like a volcanoe-and out of the blue he just blows. Screeching when excited or upset????Im like ..huh???BUGGING people and things non stop. Non-compliant big time. Just moody I guess...
But hopefully we can get things straightened out agn......maybee.....:)