Do you ever stop and think abt your life?
and what it all means?
Our lives are so full of miracles
I hope every person sees.
You have something inside that brings joy to your soul
and makes your heart sing.
We all share the same big blue sky
and the power to do anything.
You inspire me
to be everything that I desire,
and everything I do is to be in touch with you.
In every day of my life
I dream a little higher
And it all comes back to you
in how you make me so inspired.
We all have a choice
to feel a love deep within our hearts.
The freedom to hear our own voice
And the chance to make our path in life a little clearer.
You inspire me
to be everything that I desire.
and everything I do is to be in touch with you.
In every day of my life
I dream a little higher
and it all comes back to you
and how you make me so inspired.
Do you ever stop to think about your life?
---------->Sky
I just think this song is beautiful. Ive been watching Dr Wayne Dyer tonight on PBS and he shares such a beautiful message. Through every pain there IS a great purpose. A lady from Rawanda during the genocide was on the program as well. Horrible things happend and she has grown closer to God through it all and has learned to have faith in mankind. She is a survivor!!!!! She is a true hero. To have forgiveness and hope through all of the atrocities that she witnessed and went through herself. She is the perfect picture of Faith. Her story lifts and inspires me. Anyway, the show made me feel really good tonight. Warm fuzzies ;)It gave me a lift of hope as well-we all need those right? ;)
Stinger is on a role still. WHOOT!!!!! WHOOT!!!!!!LEVEL 4 still!!!!!!!!WHOOT!!!!!
Yes, Im in my happy place-can you tell???? LOLOLOLOL :) :) :) :) :)
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Saturday, March 03, 2007
The Butterfly...hmmmmmm :)
~The Butterfly~
Once upon a time in a land far far away. There was a wonderful old man who loved everything. Animals, spiders, insects....
One day while walking through the woods the nice old man found a cocoon. Feeling lonely he decided to take the cocoon home to watch its beautiful transformation from a funny little cocoon to a beautiful butterfly. He gently placed the cocoon on his kitchen table, and watched over it for days.
Suddenly on the seventh day the cocoon started to move. It moved frantically! The old man felt sorry for the little butterfly inside the cocoon. He watched it struggle and struggle and struggle!
Finally the old man feeling so sorry for the cocooned butterfly rushed to its aide with a surgical scalpel and gently slit the cocoon so the butterfly could emerge. Just one slice was all it took, and the butterfly broke free from its cocoon only to wilt over in a completely motionless state.
The old man did not know what to think. Had he accidentally killed the little butterfly? No, it's still moving a little bit.! Maybe it's sick! Who the heck would know?
He was dumbfounded, and quite perplexed! What should I do, he said. Well he felt so sorry for the little creature that he decided the best thing he could do for the butterfly was to place it gently back into its cocoon. He did so, and placed a drop of honey on it to seal the cocoon, leaving the butterfly to nestle in its natural state.
Well the next day he noticed that the cocoon was moving again. Wow, he said! It moved and moved and struggled and struggled. Finally the butterfly broke free from its cocoon and stretched its wings out far and wide. Big time yawn!
Its beautiful wings were filled with wonderful colors! It looked around and took off! It was flying! Its so beautiful! The old man was jumping with joy! Wow! Go Baby, Go! And that wonderful butterfly did that just that, it flew and flew till it was almost out of the old mans sight. What a joy, he exclaimed! But then he started to think. What did I do wrong by trying to help that beautiful little butterfly out at first?
The old man went into town. Found the library, and read every book he could on butterflies and cocoons. Finally the answer appeared. The butterfly has to struggle and struggle while inside the cocoon.
That's how it gets its strength. That's just what they are designed to overcome in order to be strong and beautiful. Well needless to say the old man was shocked, saddened, and somewhat relieved. Now he knows the reason why they do what they do. It was only his perception that made it appear that the butterfly was having a hard time.
Well from then on the old man knew that loving something sometimes means to pray for it and cheer it on! He realized that God was wonderful, and that sometimes appearances aren't what they seem to be. That we all are beautiful butterflies, even though we have our apparent struggles in life...
Once upon a time in a land far far away. There was a wonderful old man who loved everything. Animals, spiders, insects....
One day while walking through the woods the nice old man found a cocoon. Feeling lonely he decided to take the cocoon home to watch its beautiful transformation from a funny little cocoon to a beautiful butterfly. He gently placed the cocoon on his kitchen table, and watched over it for days.
Suddenly on the seventh day the cocoon started to move. It moved frantically! The old man felt sorry for the little butterfly inside the cocoon. He watched it struggle and struggle and struggle!
Finally the old man feeling so sorry for the cocooned butterfly rushed to its aide with a surgical scalpel and gently slit the cocoon so the butterfly could emerge. Just one slice was all it took, and the butterfly broke free from its cocoon only to wilt over in a completely motionless state.
The old man did not know what to think. Had he accidentally killed the little butterfly? No, it's still moving a little bit.! Maybe it's sick! Who the heck would know?
He was dumbfounded, and quite perplexed! What should I do, he said. Well he felt so sorry for the little creature that he decided the best thing he could do for the butterfly was to place it gently back into its cocoon. He did so, and placed a drop of honey on it to seal the cocoon, leaving the butterfly to nestle in its natural state.
Well the next day he noticed that the cocoon was moving again. Wow, he said! It moved and moved and struggled and struggled. Finally the butterfly broke free from its cocoon and stretched its wings out far and wide. Big time yawn!
Its beautiful wings were filled with wonderful colors! It looked around and took off! It was flying! Its so beautiful! The old man was jumping with joy! Wow! Go Baby, Go! And that wonderful butterfly did that just that, it flew and flew till it was almost out of the old mans sight. What a joy, he exclaimed! But then he started to think. What did I do wrong by trying to help that beautiful little butterfly out at first?
The old man went into town. Found the library, and read every book he could on butterflies and cocoons. Finally the answer appeared. The butterfly has to struggle and struggle while inside the cocoon.
That's how it gets its strength. That's just what they are designed to overcome in order to be strong and beautiful. Well needless to say the old man was shocked, saddened, and somewhat relieved. Now he knows the reason why they do what they do. It was only his perception that made it appear that the butterfly was having a hard time.
Well from then on the old man knew that loving something sometimes means to pray for it and cheer it on! He realized that God was wonderful, and that sometimes appearances aren't what they seem to be. That we all are beautiful butterflies, even though we have our apparent struggles in life...
Friday, March 02, 2007
Happy Face :)
Well we have had an incredible week!!!!!! :)
Stinger has done a wonderful job all week-it just got better and better last week and this week was just WONDERFUL!!!
The reg classroom teacher actually wrote on his tracker on Tuesday that he was amazing-that he was the best behaved child in class that day :)Incredible -eh?
Monday-93%-level 3
Tuesday- 100%-level 3
Wednesday-100%-LEVEL 4!!!!!!
Thursday-100%-LEVEL 4!!!!!!!
Friday-No school today.
Since he made it all week and was just racking up the points he got to spend his points in the store. For the 1st time since starting-he made it!!!!!!!Got to go to the store!!!!YEAH!!!!!!
He came home with a Pop, container of Pringles, and a bag of candy canes:)-each costing 100 points. He told me he actually saved 100 points also for next week :)I was impressed he was thinking ahead.....
WAY to Go STINGER!!!!!-eh?
My!!! He was sooo proud of himself and he def had on his happy face. And you can bet I was wearing one too :)
Tomorrow Dh and Stinger will be going to Micheals to pick up another model to do-and also Dh has promised to get Stinger his own pack of Cinnamon rolls at Sams-he gets 1/2 of one when he tries hard each day :)
It makes my eyes water thinking abt Dh and Stinger together. They are sooo cute and have so much fun together. I know Dh has had struggles with all of this. But I think now there is acceptance and understanding. The love that they share is priceless, its a love I cant even replicate at all. Its such a precious thing to see.
We all seam to have found our own happy face in all of this. Its not easy, but we are looking forward, hand in hand now. On the same path so to speak. It fills me with such joy. I cant put it into words. ......We are so fully blessed. I love my family :)
To be happily married. To have 3 such beautiful children. Thats my happy face right there. Couldnt ask for anything more than that!!!
Stinger has done a wonderful job all week-it just got better and better last week and this week was just WONDERFUL!!!
The reg classroom teacher actually wrote on his tracker on Tuesday that he was amazing-that he was the best behaved child in class that day :)Incredible -eh?
Monday-93%-level 3
Tuesday- 100%-level 3
Wednesday-100%-LEVEL 4!!!!!!
Thursday-100%-LEVEL 4!!!!!!!
Friday-No school today.
Since he made it all week and was just racking up the points he got to spend his points in the store. For the 1st time since starting-he made it!!!!!!!Got to go to the store!!!!YEAH!!!!!!
He came home with a Pop, container of Pringles, and a bag of candy canes:)-each costing 100 points. He told me he actually saved 100 points also for next week :)I was impressed he was thinking ahead.....
WAY to Go STINGER!!!!!-eh?
My!!! He was sooo proud of himself and he def had on his happy face. And you can bet I was wearing one too :)
Tomorrow Dh and Stinger will be going to Micheals to pick up another model to do-and also Dh has promised to get Stinger his own pack of Cinnamon rolls at Sams-he gets 1/2 of one when he tries hard each day :)
It makes my eyes water thinking abt Dh and Stinger together. They are sooo cute and have so much fun together. I know Dh has had struggles with all of this. But I think now there is acceptance and understanding. The love that they share is priceless, its a love I cant even replicate at all. Its such a precious thing to see.
We all seam to have found our own happy face in all of this. Its not easy, but we are looking forward, hand in hand now. On the same path so to speak. It fills me with such joy. I cant put it into words. ......We are so fully blessed. I love my family :)
To be happily married. To have 3 such beautiful children. Thats my happy face right there. Couldnt ask for anything more than that!!!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Are YOU a Mean Mom? ;)
I found this today-It was great! I especially could relate to the no honking rule- having to come in and meet the friends etc(and boyfriends;)LOLOLOL :) and Im sure I will be the same-even more funny-no?
Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough tounderstand the logic that motivates a parent, I willtell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom,and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let youdiscover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children mustlearn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume theresponsibility for your actions even when thepenalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to sayNO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'mglad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.Was your Mom mean? I know mine was.
We had themeanest mother in the whole world! While other kidsate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that wasdifferent from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at alltimes. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. Shehad to know who our friends were, and what we weredoing with them.
She insisted that if we said wewould be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerveto break the Child Labour Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn tocook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trashand all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, thewhole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and hadeyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the hornwhen they drove up. They had to come up to the doorso she could meet them.
While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.Because of our mother, we missed out on lots ofthings other kids experienced.
None of us have everbeen caught shoplifting, vandalizing other'sproperty or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
Mean Moms
Someday when my children are old enough tounderstand the logic that motivates a parent, I willtell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom,and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let youdiscover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children mustlearn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume theresponsibility for your actions even when thepenalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to sayNO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'mglad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.Was your Mom mean? I know mine was.
We had themeanest mother in the whole world! While other kidsate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that wasdifferent from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at alltimes. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. Shehad to know who our friends were, and what we weredoing with them.
She insisted that if we said wewould be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerveto break the Child Labour Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn tocook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trashand all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, thewhole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and hadeyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the hornwhen they drove up. They had to come up to the doorso she could meet them.
While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.Because of our mother, we missed out on lots ofthings other kids experienced.
None of us have everbeen caught shoplifting, vandalizing other'sproperty or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.It just doesn't have enough mean moms!
Knock on wood....;)
Well just when I think we are all over being sick.....now dh is sick-coughing etc-not getting any sleep. I guess he got up at 4:30 and couldt get back to sleep. So hes sleeping and taking the day off:) Must be nice-;)LOLOLOLOL. I seam to never get sick-which I guess is a good thing:) I knwo when I waslittel I was alwasy so upset that I never got out of school for sick days-I think I even remember getting some award in Elementary for perfect attendance-LOLOLOL-YEAH!;)
The movie on Saturday was a dissapointment :( I guess I had it pictured alot like Narnia-and it was NOT even close. It was pretty much just a show abt bullying-getting back at bullys, and dealing with death-LOVELY:( Come to find out those commercials and previews were the best parts in the movie. Hardly any fantasy. I think Stingers quote during the movie says it all - "When's it going to be over Mom?" LOLOLOLOL
But it was nice just going out with the kids and they still enjoyed being out-even though Stinger was dissapointed-Flamingo and Billy werent:) So I guess it was okay....
I usually go and check out movies on this Christian rating thing on the internet-and just this once I didnt.....bad choice. O-well-I will from now on.....I dindt particulary like the whole theme-especially the death part.....Live and learn I guess......
The movie on Saturday was a dissapointment :( I guess I had it pictured alot like Narnia-and it was NOT even close. It was pretty much just a show abt bullying-getting back at bullys, and dealing with death-LOVELY:( Come to find out those commercials and previews were the best parts in the movie. Hardly any fantasy. I think Stingers quote during the movie says it all - "When's it going to be over Mom?" LOLOLOLOL
But it was nice just going out with the kids and they still enjoyed being out-even though Stinger was dissapointed-Flamingo and Billy werent:) So I guess it was okay....
I usually go and check out movies on this Christian rating thing on the internet-and just this once I didnt.....bad choice. O-well-I will from now on.....I dindt particulary like the whole theme-especially the death part.....Live and learn I guess......
Saturday, February 24, 2007
A Good Day :)
Today was a good day :)
Dh had off and rented a couple of movies-some for the kids(flushed away) and some for us:The Grudge 2-yeah! Im gunna be sleeping well tonight!!!-NOT!!! I think out of all the movies out there The Grudge ones and The Ring-absoluteley freak me out-but hey-they take my mind off things and on to other things-right! LOLOLOL-YEAH.....and you know what its rated???PG-13 -How CRAZY is that !!!! I can sooo see a 13 year old handling it well....Alls I know is my kids will NOT be watching PG-13 when they are 13! Sheesh......and I used to giev my parenst such a hard time abt it-LOLOLOLOL:)
Stinger had a wonderful day-I called the school and wanted to know their opinion this week since we are trying dif things-anything they didnt say in the tracker etc- ;) But the teacher said he stayed in the reg classroom ALL DAY!!! This was great to hear!!! He had missed a Test they took yesterday, was told he needed to take it if he wanted to watch the movie, and out he went to take it-no fuss! So hey-It might be helping....... The movie was The Wild or something or other-and was abt a volcanoe blowing up! They had popcorn and everything.....I bet Stinger was in Heaven! LOLOLOL He went on and on abt it when he came home.......but he got straight 5's again-so good day :)
Dh and Stinger started on their level 2 model today....Stinger wanted something harder-so they are now doing level 2. The level 2's are alot harder-well you have to paint them. Stinger couldnt have been more pleased and had a wonderful time with Dad :) Dh just couldnt believe how Stinger was so maticulous abt his painting and was really impressed abt how he was doing sooo well. But thats Stinger-find something he enjoys and it will be perfect :)It will be correct and exactly right.
Temple Grandin(an adult with Aspergers) has always said if you find their nitch-they will shine-so weve just got to find that nitch.....She loved animals and is now doing designs tech stuff designs for farms and ranches internationally and is very successful now-she found her nitch and away she went with it.
Stinger is destined for great things-I just know it :)Weve just got to harness the strengths he has.....
Tomorrow should be fun-were going to see Tarabithia:) Dh has told everyone they get their own drinks and candy :) Well be sharing popcorn....Spoiled kids-eh? But I think we are all looking forward to it:)
A Good Day-(a sunny one) ;)-eh? Keep them comin' my way.........
Dh had off and rented a couple of movies-some for the kids(flushed away) and some for us:The Grudge 2-yeah! Im gunna be sleeping well tonight!!!-NOT!!! I think out of all the movies out there The Grudge ones and The Ring-absoluteley freak me out-but hey-they take my mind off things and on to other things-right! LOLOLOL-YEAH.....and you know what its rated???PG-13 -How CRAZY is that !!!! I can sooo see a 13 year old handling it well....Alls I know is my kids will NOT be watching PG-13 when they are 13! Sheesh......and I used to giev my parenst such a hard time abt it-LOLOLOLOL:)
Stinger had a wonderful day-I called the school and wanted to know their opinion this week since we are trying dif things-anything they didnt say in the tracker etc- ;) But the teacher said he stayed in the reg classroom ALL DAY!!! This was great to hear!!! He had missed a Test they took yesterday, was told he needed to take it if he wanted to watch the movie, and out he went to take it-no fuss! So hey-It might be helping....... The movie was The Wild or something or other-and was abt a volcanoe blowing up! They had popcorn and everything.....I bet Stinger was in Heaven! LOLOLOL He went on and on abt it when he came home.......but he got straight 5's again-so good day :)
Dh and Stinger started on their level 2 model today....Stinger wanted something harder-so they are now doing level 2. The level 2's are alot harder-well you have to paint them. Stinger couldnt have been more pleased and had a wonderful time with Dad :) Dh just couldnt believe how Stinger was so maticulous abt his painting and was really impressed abt how he was doing sooo well. But thats Stinger-find something he enjoys and it will be perfect :)It will be correct and exactly right.
Temple Grandin(an adult with Aspergers) has always said if you find their nitch-they will shine-so weve just got to find that nitch.....She loved animals and is now doing designs tech stuff designs for farms and ranches internationally and is very successful now-she found her nitch and away she went with it.
Stinger is destined for great things-I just know it :)Weve just got to harness the strengths he has.....
Tomorrow should be fun-were going to see Tarabithia:) Dh has told everyone they get their own drinks and candy :) Well be sharing popcorn....Spoiled kids-eh? But I think we are all looking forward to it:)
A Good Day-(a sunny one) ;)-eh? Keep them comin' my way.........
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Well...Wonder upon wonders......
We decided to do it-sign up for Medicaid. Low and behold I call and the spend-down cost has dropped DRAMATICALLY!!!!!SOOOOOOO incredible!!! Guess the income bracket went down so we arent that much over -something like that -I didnt ask too many questions......LOLOLOL;) So We should be getting teh card in teh mail and everything taken care of....Whew.........agn-what a headache-but OH! SO worth it-eh?
So I called MH and set thinsg up with them-we should be starting everything in March-and now Im wondering just what Stinger will be thinking about all of this...LOLOLOL?????
You know-I think no matter how good something gets, no matter what someone says, no matter what I hear.....Im always in a state of worry-LOLOLOL. I see this now;) How crazy is that!!!It totally drives me crazy..........I guess because I hav etrained myself well..darn.......sigh...as nothing is certian ard here-nothing can count as lasting..........Its rather sad I guess...but what Ive accepted.....and no matter how hard I try and put on that happy face for all to see and hear-deeper inside someone is still crying.......someone is still telling me not to get my hopes up........somone is whispering that no matter how many bandaides I find.....the problems will still be there tomorrow.....
I may see the rainbow for a bit, but the rain will surely come. The sun will keep shining, but the clouds lurking will creep up any minute.....Its like a vicious cycle-or circle and I cant seam to pull myself out of it. Really there is no break in this circle.....You know those metal circles? That game of sorts- as a child youd try and pull them apart, and you couldnt until someone came and showed you how.....I feel im pulling and pulling and no one out there has this secret solved.....
So I deal...........and go on.....I dont want a cure all...........but these circles are pretty frustrating....
You may be wondering why Im down in the dumps and I dont know.....Stinger was doing really well this week, but today we are back in that tangled circle game once agn.......so Im down a bit....he will drop down to level 2 tomorrow and all his hard work and points earned this week means nothing now as he cant spend them in the store if your on level 2. Does he care-no not really...sigh.......he cant focus on the prize enough to get there each week.....and the teachers arent saying if they are noticing anything different-wow-thats a shocker......okay change topic-
Flamingo has lost yet another tooth. We call her our toothles wonder-LOLOLOL;)The tooth fairy is going broke-LOLOLOLand Flamingo is just lovin it-shes abt to loose another on top as well. Thank goodness her bottom ones are coming in... Right now shes missing her two front teeth on top, one next to them, and one next to the two coming in on the bottom....its .....interesting looking..LOLOLOLOL. But shes still oh sooo cute :)And she doesnt seam to mind not having any teeth to chew with-LOLOLOL
Ive had a headache all day-I seam to be getting these lately..and my eye keeps twitching....dont know as to why????but its annoying as no one can see it but me;) Its off and on for abt a week now....Weird.????
Mokey boy is doing well-not sick and coughing like my other munchkins*knock on wood*He keeps me smiling.......
So I called MH and set thinsg up with them-we should be starting everything in March-and now Im wondering just what Stinger will be thinking about all of this...LOLOLOL?????
You know-I think no matter how good something gets, no matter what someone says, no matter what I hear.....Im always in a state of worry-LOLOLOL. I see this now;) How crazy is that!!!It totally drives me crazy..........I guess because I hav etrained myself well..darn.......sigh...as nothing is certian ard here-nothing can count as lasting..........Its rather sad I guess...but what Ive accepted.....and no matter how hard I try and put on that happy face for all to see and hear-deeper inside someone is still crying.......someone is still telling me not to get my hopes up........somone is whispering that no matter how many bandaides I find.....the problems will still be there tomorrow.....
I may see the rainbow for a bit, but the rain will surely come. The sun will keep shining, but the clouds lurking will creep up any minute.....Its like a vicious cycle-or circle and I cant seam to pull myself out of it. Really there is no break in this circle.....You know those metal circles? That game of sorts- as a child youd try and pull them apart, and you couldnt until someone came and showed you how.....I feel im pulling and pulling and no one out there has this secret solved.....
So I deal...........and go on.....I dont want a cure all...........but these circles are pretty frustrating....
You may be wondering why Im down in the dumps and I dont know.....Stinger was doing really well this week, but today we are back in that tangled circle game once agn.......so Im down a bit....he will drop down to level 2 tomorrow and all his hard work and points earned this week means nothing now as he cant spend them in the store if your on level 2. Does he care-no not really...sigh.......he cant focus on the prize enough to get there each week.....and the teachers arent saying if they are noticing anything different-wow-thats a shocker......okay change topic-
Flamingo has lost yet another tooth. We call her our toothles wonder-LOLOLOL;)The tooth fairy is going broke-LOLOLOLand Flamingo is just lovin it-shes abt to loose another on top as well. Thank goodness her bottom ones are coming in... Right now shes missing her two front teeth on top, one next to them, and one next to the two coming in on the bottom....its .....interesting looking..LOLOLOLOL. But shes still oh sooo cute :)And she doesnt seam to mind not having any teeth to chew with-LOLOLOL
Ive had a headache all day-I seam to be getting these lately..and my eye keeps twitching....dont know as to why????but its annoying as no one can see it but me;) Its off and on for abt a week now....Weird.????
Mokey boy is doing well-not sick and coughing like my other munchkins*knock on wood*He keeps me smiling.......
Monday, February 19, 2007
Doc apts ..yeah......
Well bummer of bummers........seams the new doc I followed from M Health to Regional is now not taking Medicaid......so Ill have to find yet another doc if we choose to go that route-or stay with him and pay out of pocket........hmmmmmmm...:(
Hes REALLY nice and totally seams to mesh with Stinger and myself. I told him about all the problems we seam to be having at school and he agreed with me in that they are treating him just as a behavior problem and not seeing its far more complex than that. Typical behaviors will respond to their behavior modifications-kids like Stinger-wont. He said that he imagines Stingers withdrawal is worsening as they aren't taking the time to TEACH him......
He also told me that when Stinger is already escalated and they put their hands on him-its just going to get out of control...which is what we have been seeing. He said this is VERY typical behavior when rigid routines in Stingers mind have been changed or compromised and he is once agn put in a situation where he has no other choice but to fall back on what has worked or what has been done in the past......he said this wont change until they learn to respond to him differently.....sigh....yeah I don't see that happening any time soon.....:(
The school tells me Stinger is just being defiant and that he is testing them....that they have to break him. Doc said this is imply not the case-that it might look like testing, it might look like manipulation, but its not. Hes responding out of not correlating consequences with his actions and that that is why typical punishments wont work no matter how many times they are tried.
Ross Greene(the Explosive Child) says that "kids will behave if they CAN" its not that they don't want to. Its that they lack the skills to do so......So what looks like ODD(oppositional) behavior isn't-its a lack of skill-which needs to be thought abt, figured out, and taught.
I told him I was reading this book and trying to implement it at home:
You have 3 baskets:
A basket-demands example-Pick up your room now, etc
B basket- both child needs and parents needs are recognised, feelings are shared, and solutions are thought of together that both parenst and child are satisfied with
C basket-things you are going to let slide until you get a handle on things in basket B(priority things , or constant struggle big things etc)
I told him this rage at school is something I haven't seen in Stinger since he was 2, and that the school says they just put more demands on him there than I do. He said this is probably true. He said I probably have set it up different and its not a reality home-hence fewer problems....LOLOLOL .....yeah I think I have probably done this....but he said its what needs to be done -you pick your battles, you communicate, find out what ticks him off, and accommodate etcor your home will be a nightmare day after day..and he thought the book was great:)He told me to talk to the school abt implementing it...LOLOL, yeah.......
We are trying some other things as well-doc said it would make it like a duck to water-letting things slide off his back, and not get too agitated when someone touches him, or gets in his space-he'll be more open about it instead of scratching etc.....so well see.....agn he reassured me that this reaction was typical of an ASD child.....So we will see.....
This doc actually mentioned homeschooling, or The private schools-which are too far away. But I abt fell off the chair when he mentioned homeschooling-I have never heard it being suggested by a DOC before?????But it was nice-a change and a good chance to see how he truly thinks-I like it :)Most docs are so closed up abt it, saying they need to be taught social skills, but he said I was and could do it just as well :) WOW :)
Basically everything I have been saying he said right back to me. It was nice to be listened to and agreed with and understood :) I really like him, and Stinger actually looks at him :)Which is always a good sign.....Ill Be sad if we end up leaving him :( But he did give us a referral for someone if we do end up having to see someone else...
It was good apt :)But as my luck-probably cant keep him :(
Stinger and Flamingo are both miserable-they've both got coughs and icky noses :( Both not sleeping very well, both end up in our room at night....I hope the weather gets a grip here. It was 61 yesterday and it snowed today:(
Guess we are lucky our whole family isn't sick with the weather being so messed up. My daffodils are coming up-today they are covered with snow-LOLOLOL;)Crazy-eh?
Hes REALLY nice and totally seams to mesh with Stinger and myself. I told him about all the problems we seam to be having at school and he agreed with me in that they are treating him just as a behavior problem and not seeing its far more complex than that. Typical behaviors will respond to their behavior modifications-kids like Stinger-wont. He said that he imagines Stingers withdrawal is worsening as they aren't taking the time to TEACH him......
He also told me that when Stinger is already escalated and they put their hands on him-its just going to get out of control...which is what we have been seeing. He said this is VERY typical behavior when rigid routines in Stingers mind have been changed or compromised and he is once agn put in a situation where he has no other choice but to fall back on what has worked or what has been done in the past......he said this wont change until they learn to respond to him differently.....sigh....yeah I don't see that happening any time soon.....:(
The school tells me Stinger is just being defiant and that he is testing them....that they have to break him. Doc said this is imply not the case-that it might look like testing, it might look like manipulation, but its not. Hes responding out of not correlating consequences with his actions and that that is why typical punishments wont work no matter how many times they are tried.
Ross Greene(the Explosive Child) says that "kids will behave if they CAN" its not that they don't want to. Its that they lack the skills to do so......So what looks like ODD(oppositional) behavior isn't-its a lack of skill-which needs to be thought abt, figured out, and taught.
I told him I was reading this book and trying to implement it at home:
You have 3 baskets:
A basket-demands example-Pick up your room now, etc
B basket- both child needs and parents needs are recognised, feelings are shared, and solutions are thought of together that both parenst and child are satisfied with
C basket-things you are going to let slide until you get a handle on things in basket B(priority things , or constant struggle big things etc)
I told him this rage at school is something I haven't seen in Stinger since he was 2, and that the school says they just put more demands on him there than I do. He said this is probably true. He said I probably have set it up different and its not a reality home-hence fewer problems....LOLOLOL .....yeah I think I have probably done this....but he said its what needs to be done -you pick your battles, you communicate, find out what ticks him off, and accommodate etcor your home will be a nightmare day after day..and he thought the book was great:)He told me to talk to the school abt implementing it...LOLOL, yeah.......
We are trying some other things as well-doc said it would make it like a duck to water-letting things slide off his back, and not get too agitated when someone touches him, or gets in his space-he'll be more open about it instead of scratching etc.....so well see.....agn he reassured me that this reaction was typical of an ASD child.....So we will see.....
This doc actually mentioned homeschooling, or The private schools-which are too far away. But I abt fell off the chair when he mentioned homeschooling-I have never heard it being suggested by a DOC before?????But it was nice-a change and a good chance to see how he truly thinks-I like it :)Most docs are so closed up abt it, saying they need to be taught social skills, but he said I was and could do it just as well :) WOW :)
Basically everything I have been saying he said right back to me. It was nice to be listened to and agreed with and understood :) I really like him, and Stinger actually looks at him :)Which is always a good sign.....Ill Be sad if we end up leaving him :( But he did give us a referral for someone if we do end up having to see someone else...
It was good apt :)But as my luck-probably cant keep him :(
Stinger and Flamingo are both miserable-they've both got coughs and icky noses :( Both not sleeping very well, both end up in our room at night....I hope the weather gets a grip here. It was 61 yesterday and it snowed today:(
Guess we are lucky our whole family isn't sick with the weather being so messed up. My daffodils are coming up-today they are covered with snow-LOLOLOL;)Crazy-eh?
YEAH!!!!!!!....I think......LOLOLOLOL :)
Well THE LETTER came.......Its what I was waiting and waiting for-but the Health Dept said it might take up to 4-6 months-and we got in!!!!!!WE got approved for Medicaid:) YEAH!!!!!!!!
It went to a review board and we are finally approved-which means ALL the services at the Clinic-are now possible!!!(Social Classes,in home behavior help-if needed, dental, prescriptions, over counter meds etc etc)basically anything our insurance wasnt covering and copays are now taken care of-if we elect to do this.
We are still trying to outway the benefits and cost-as we will have to pay every month a set fee(spenddown)but its not THAT much-and I think it totally outways the cost-especially if dental is covered-and our insurance doesnt cover squat with that ...
Basically Im convinced-just have to get everyone on board-we spend so much for insurance alreadywith each paycheck....so we still have some things to discuss-but I say -----YES!!!!!!!LOLOLOL
I guess right now-since we arent GETTING any services-it would cost more, but Stinger NEEDS the social classes etc-and that alone with prescriptions would be cost effective.......So I think it would be worth it........Hes getting more with drawn every day...so weve been putting it off, but clearly he needs support in this area-kwim? Especially since the school isnt working with him and basically just throwing him in class and expecting him to cope....not going to go THERE today though.......I dont know...in my mind its not a big decision to make, not a hard one anyway.....Its what Ive been waiting fro and praying for-that some dorr would open fro us to be able to get Stinger what he needs to help him.....
Im just excited.......Excited abt all the possibilities now. I always just assumed that these services were there-but not for us....now they can be. Mental health services are pretty much not covered by private insurance, so you cant get them easily unless you pay out of pocket....so this will be great...i think....LOLOLOL. Im just soooo happy about it-Ive got a meeting on Wed to talk abt everything......hopefully it goes well-dont know why it shouldnt....:)
I REALLY think this is the right step right now...please if you could please pray that everything falls into place with this-if this is the right path to take....
It went to a review board and we are finally approved-which means ALL the services at the Clinic-are now possible!!!(Social Classes,in home behavior help-if needed, dental, prescriptions, over counter meds etc etc)basically anything our insurance wasnt covering and copays are now taken care of-if we elect to do this.
We are still trying to outway the benefits and cost-as we will have to pay every month a set fee(spenddown)but its not THAT much-and I think it totally outways the cost-especially if dental is covered-and our insurance doesnt cover squat with that ...
Basically Im convinced-just have to get everyone on board-we spend so much for insurance alreadywith each paycheck....so we still have some things to discuss-but I say -----YES!!!!!!!LOLOLOL
I guess right now-since we arent GETTING any services-it would cost more, but Stinger NEEDS the social classes etc-and that alone with prescriptions would be cost effective.......So I think it would be worth it........Hes getting more with drawn every day...so weve been putting it off, but clearly he needs support in this area-kwim? Especially since the school isnt working with him and basically just throwing him in class and expecting him to cope....not going to go THERE today though.......I dont know...in my mind its not a big decision to make, not a hard one anyway.....Its what Ive been waiting fro and praying for-that some dorr would open fro us to be able to get Stinger what he needs to help him.....
Im just excited.......Excited abt all the possibilities now. I always just assumed that these services were there-but not for us....now they can be. Mental health services are pretty much not covered by private insurance, so you cant get them easily unless you pay out of pocket....so this will be great...i think....LOLOLOL. Im just soooo happy about it-Ive got a meeting on Wed to talk abt everything......hopefully it goes well-dont know why it shouldnt....:)
I REALLY think this is the right step right now...please if you could please pray that everything falls into place with this-if this is the right path to take....
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Two Horses......
I recieved this from a friend of mine-C :)
Its beautiful and a great message to remember!!! Thanks to all our special friends and family out there-who have never thrown us away and have always shown us we are ALL gifts from up above.....
Its beautiful and a great message to remember!!! Thanks to all our special friends and family out there-who have never thrown us away and have always shown us we are ALL gifts from up above.....
THE TWO HORSES
Just up the road is a field, with two horses where two horses graze.
From a distance, each looks like every other horse.
But if you stop your car or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing.
Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind.
His owner has chosen not to have him put down but has made a good home for him.
This alone is amazing. If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell.
Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the
smaller horse in the field.
Attached to her halter is a small bell.
It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her.
As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking on him,
and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is,
trusting that she will not lead him astray.
When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops
occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.
Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because
we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges.
He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need.
Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those
who God places in our lives.
Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see.
Good friends are like this .
You don't always see them,
but you know they are always there.
Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
Friday, February 16, 2007
Happy LATE V-Day :)
Well Valentines has come and gone and I didn't even write abt it did I?
Previous Night-
Up all night doing Valentines for the teachers and kids in class. :)
It was allot of fun. Flamingo had to have everyones just right and each had to be thought out-as the girls who are her friends got a pink pencil, others not to fond of received a dark pink-;)Each and every child was carefully pondered and thought abt. LOLOLOL Careful consideration was also given to her special boyfriend. Hearts and nice drawings were drawn on his card and was lastly sealed with a special kiss-LOLOLOL-all soooo funny :)
Stinger carefully cut out each of his cards-his main consideration was that they didn't have any edges that didn't look just right-no matter who they were going to. He did put allot of thought into the teachers gift and aides gifts. While he was making his valentine to place on top-a big smile crept onto his face. He had fun as well.
Monkey boy got some cards to and he just had a ball with stickers and there were bunches of giggles from him as he was snacking on the treats and decorating with stickers -each and everywhere;)LOLOLOL
Valentines day-
Faces all a glow -Flamingo and Stinger headed out the door backpacks stuffed with Valentines :) They were both excited as thoughts of a V-Day party were talked abt. I get excited too, yet I was also filled with jitters wondering how Stinger would do with all the excitement of the fun filled day......
Flamingo came home and immediately showed us her V day bag plum full of goodies-and preceded to examine and each EACH ONE!!! LOLOL-occasionally sharing with Monkey boy of course. Stinger comes home and announces his wonderful day :) Saying he was glad it was an early out day as he was starting to have a hard time with things(circling his arms all over)-which is probably how he really sees these things-going everywhere and overload. He dumps his cards out on the floor-undoes each one to get the candy out. After he has seen each one he announces that he isn't eating any of the candy as it all has kids germs on them!!!!!WHAT????LOLOLOLOL
He preceded to explain to me that valentines day is a day for card giving-not for getting candy????Obviously forgetting that he gave candy with each of his. I tell him I can wash them-the packages, but he will have none of it.
So today here sits the two bags-one almost empty and one not even touched????Interesting-eh?
But a terrific day they all had. I had bought treats for them all too and had them on the table when they each woke up. Flamingo and Monkey Boy got a little teddy bear, and Stinger of course got a little stuffed Bumble Bee-which he has been playing with non stop and carrying ard everywhere:)
Dh and I will be celebrating this weekend-maybe a nice out to eat;)
Hope everyones Valentines day went well too :)
Previous Night-
Up all night doing Valentines for the teachers and kids in class. :)
It was allot of fun. Flamingo had to have everyones just right and each had to be thought out-as the girls who are her friends got a pink pencil, others not to fond of received a dark pink-;)Each and every child was carefully pondered and thought abt. LOLOLOL Careful consideration was also given to her special boyfriend. Hearts and nice drawings were drawn on his card and was lastly sealed with a special kiss-LOLOLOL-all soooo funny :)
Stinger carefully cut out each of his cards-his main consideration was that they didn't have any edges that didn't look just right-no matter who they were going to. He did put allot of thought into the teachers gift and aides gifts. While he was making his valentine to place on top-a big smile crept onto his face. He had fun as well.
Monkey boy got some cards to and he just had a ball with stickers and there were bunches of giggles from him as he was snacking on the treats and decorating with stickers -each and everywhere;)LOLOLOL
Valentines day-
Faces all a glow -Flamingo and Stinger headed out the door backpacks stuffed with Valentines :) They were both excited as thoughts of a V-Day party were talked abt. I get excited too, yet I was also filled with jitters wondering how Stinger would do with all the excitement of the fun filled day......
Flamingo came home and immediately showed us her V day bag plum full of goodies-and preceded to examine and each EACH ONE!!! LOLOL-occasionally sharing with Monkey boy of course. Stinger comes home and announces his wonderful day :) Saying he was glad it was an early out day as he was starting to have a hard time with things(circling his arms all over)-which is probably how he really sees these things-going everywhere and overload. He dumps his cards out on the floor-undoes each one to get the candy out. After he has seen each one he announces that he isn't eating any of the candy as it all has kids germs on them!!!!!WHAT????LOLOLOLOL
He preceded to explain to me that valentines day is a day for card giving-not for getting candy????Obviously forgetting that he gave candy with each of his. I tell him I can wash them-the packages, but he will have none of it.
So today here sits the two bags-one almost empty and one not even touched????Interesting-eh?
But a terrific day they all had. I had bought treats for them all too and had them on the table when they each woke up. Flamingo and Monkey Boy got a little teddy bear, and Stinger of course got a little stuffed Bumble Bee-which he has been playing with non stop and carrying ard everywhere:)
Dh and I will be celebrating this weekend-maybe a nice out to eat;)
Hope everyones Valentines day went well too :)
Monday, February 12, 2007
Just another day ard here .....
Well its been awhile-so I thought Id catch everyone up on what has and hasn't been going on :)
Arthur and the Invisables was a great success-I think we've hit the jackpot here-LOLOL. I don't think there is any setting where all three of my little jungle critters are so at peace and so content and so QUITE! did I say QUITE???????;)LOLOLOL
We've also tried out another ice cream parlor success. Its called Cold Stone Brewery. It is teh coolest ice cream place I hav ever been to. You tell them your flavor you want and they've got everything from classic vanilla to cotton candy;), then you tell them what you want on it-berries, bananas-right out of the wrapper candy bars, etc. , nuts-even have pistachios, fudge, strawberry topping, and that's just a couple of the MANY choices. They place your humongous scoop on a long cold stone(hence the name) and proceed to chop everything up in itself on this stone. You come up with what looks quiet uneatable-LOLOL, but deeeeeeeeeeeeelicious!:P
OH!!!!!! Its some GOOD stuff-haven't tried it-you better go and search for one. I'm not a big ice cream fan-but I LOVE this place!
Stinger got banana-with sprinkles-out of EVERYTHING there he wanted just a plain ol ice cream-LOLOL, Flamingo got strawberry with gummy bears, and Monkey boy got banana with ressescups. EVERYONE was wayyyyy pleased. So that's our place now;)kinda pricey-but way unique and fun. Oh they serve it in a waffle bowl thing that you can eat afterwards and you can get that dipped in chocolate and nuts-the place just BLOWS the mind-can you tell-LOLOLOL
Stinger has been hit and miss at school-same story-well have three perfect days and then Bam-the weekend comes and he seams to have to start all over :(
We've started a new thing at home-kinda like they are doing at school-where he has aboard and he has to get 5 tokens to put on the board and then he gets a treat-its been working REALLY well-we are giving him jerky-his FAV of FAVORITES! You all know that too well;)Anyway-its all visual-which is the ONLY thing that works with him. I printed out the same things I am using at home fro his teacher at school-I don't think she is implementing it though-which is kinda abummer-as I KNOW he would respond better if he could SEE it-but we wont open THAT wound here in this post-LOLOLOL
Flamingo and Monkey boy are doing well. Just found out someone in Flamingos class has chicken pox*knock on wood*. Do kids even get those anymore? I guess so.......but crossing fingers its presence will skip us -right now anyway.
We are getting all ready for Valentines day:)They want to do them NOW!!!! They are so excited:)Ive got the house decorated too-witch they just love-picked that up from Nanna:)
Arthur and the Invisables was a great success-I think we've hit the jackpot here-LOLOL. I don't think there is any setting where all three of my little jungle critters are so at peace and so content and so QUITE! did I say QUITE???????;)LOLOLOL
We've also tried out another ice cream parlor success. Its called Cold Stone Brewery. It is teh coolest ice cream place I hav ever been to. You tell them your flavor you want and they've got everything from classic vanilla to cotton candy;), then you tell them what you want on it-berries, bananas-right out of the wrapper candy bars, etc. , nuts-even have pistachios, fudge, strawberry topping, and that's just a couple of the MANY choices. They place your humongous scoop on a long cold stone(hence the name) and proceed to chop everything up in itself on this stone. You come up with what looks quiet uneatable-LOLOL, but deeeeeeeeeeeeelicious!:P
OH!!!!!! Its some GOOD stuff-haven't tried it-you better go and search for one. I'm not a big ice cream fan-but I LOVE this place!
Stinger got banana-with sprinkles-out of EVERYTHING there he wanted just a plain ol ice cream-LOLOL, Flamingo got strawberry with gummy bears, and Monkey boy got banana with ressescups. EVERYONE was wayyyyy pleased. So that's our place now;)kinda pricey-but way unique and fun. Oh they serve it in a waffle bowl thing that you can eat afterwards and you can get that dipped in chocolate and nuts-the place just BLOWS the mind-can you tell-LOLOLOL
Stinger has been hit and miss at school-same story-well have three perfect days and then Bam-the weekend comes and he seams to have to start all over :(
We've started a new thing at home-kinda like they are doing at school-where he has aboard and he has to get 5 tokens to put on the board and then he gets a treat-its been working REALLY well-we are giving him jerky-his FAV of FAVORITES! You all know that too well;)Anyway-its all visual-which is the ONLY thing that works with him. I printed out the same things I am using at home fro his teacher at school-I don't think she is implementing it though-which is kinda abummer-as I KNOW he would respond better if he could SEE it-but we wont open THAT wound here in this post-LOLOLOL
Flamingo and Monkey boy are doing well. Just found out someone in Flamingos class has chicken pox*knock on wood*. Do kids even get those anymore? I guess so.......but crossing fingers its presence will skip us -right now anyway.
We are getting all ready for Valentines day:)They want to do them NOW!!!! They are so excited:)Ive got the house decorated too-witch they just love-picked that up from Nanna:)
Thursday, January 25, 2007
YES!!!!!!! :)
Well It has been awhile since I have updated ;)
Stinger is doing wonderful :) He is going on his 3rd-yes i repeat 3rd day of practically perfect behavior. I called the doc and we upped some things-so maybee just maybee.............
He comes home and he thinks his day has been rotten-will have had maybee one choice that wasnt too great, but the rest of the day will have been really good and yet he thinks his whole day is bad as that one incident.Its as if he cant get past it. I keep having to tell him-NO!!!! You did soo well-you are doing so great!!!!Way to Go!!!!!!LOLOLOL
He has been having trouble going to sleep though-but I can live with that and we will just get through it-as we have been there before when we first started.
The IEP meeting went VERY well-they kept pretty much everything the same-and I didnt not agree with anything....phew-my mind was thinking up some stuff I tell ya-its what its used to doing, putting on my warrior momma gear. I dont think I will ever get out of that mindset no matter how I try.....
The behavior plan is changed-from what I hated to something I actually agree with. I can actually put my son on the bus in the morning and KNOW now that he is safe and that they are now doing the right thing. Their plans before I did NOT agree with and now they are no longer possible. Stinger actually HELPED in this;) But we wont tell him that.LOLOLOL I guess they had been wanting to do some changes, but the district had been saying no-now they have to :) The main point now being Stinger is safe and I am not a wreck worrying abt it any longer.
Flamingo......LOLOLOLOL....Where do I start......LOLOLOL
She has an actual boyfriend LOLOLOL. Of course we had to find out as she asks Daddy abt everything-LOLOLOLOL. Seams that she has had him for quiet a good while, but finally asked Daddy's permission the other day;)LOLOLOLOL
They hold hands at circle time, he tells her nice things like "I like your tennis shoes"LOLOLOL, and has given her a kiss on the hand-LOLOLOLOL, sit together on the bus. She in turn helps him with his colors at school;) This is the boy whom she has been trying to help be good in class-seams it has worked all a little too good-LOLOLOL
But she is her happy self and cant stop smiling these days-what is that all abt?;)
Monkey boy is getting very independant ard here-and I hate to say it, but every time I hear "I can do it MOM!!!!" a little part of me cries. Its wonderful seeing him be so strong, so sure of himself, yet at the same time I hate this pulling away from me part-kwim? He hates it that I call him "my baby"when Im teasinghim adn snuggling him-but Ill do it until I cant get away with it-LOLOLOL He will always be my baby-like it or not-LOLOLOL. His favorite past time is taking a bath these days-a good thing-right? But each one of the kiddoes loves their bath time a little too much and I am constantly nagging them to get out! Stinger could be in there all day If I let him-LOLOLOL
He has also slightly stopped taking a we morning walk abt snitching peoples things. I just have to make sure hes got a full tummy before he goes to bed;)
The weather here has just been weird-it got up to 64 today-really bizarre and then shot down to 46 then continued to get colder and colder and colder, but no snow-we are usually right in a snowy mess right now-not this year. I think its confusing the bugs and they are starting to come out. I noticed a little bee/wasp the other day that wasnt doing too well on our fridge-of course it was wisked off by an excstatic Stinger who straight away took it to his room and has kept in in his microsope storage container......talking to it and trying to prolong its life in any way imagineable-LOLOLOL. He has been really missing his bee friends.
But who knows with the weather acting weird as it has been, Spring might be just ard the corner-so Stinger keeps hoping;)
Personally I cant wait either-I hate being cold-unless it brings snow to make up for it;)
Stinger is doing wonderful :) He is going on his 3rd-yes i repeat 3rd day of practically perfect behavior. I called the doc and we upped some things-so maybee just maybee.............
He comes home and he thinks his day has been rotten-will have had maybee one choice that wasnt too great, but the rest of the day will have been really good and yet he thinks his whole day is bad as that one incident.Its as if he cant get past it. I keep having to tell him-NO!!!! You did soo well-you are doing so great!!!!Way to Go!!!!!!LOLOLOL
He has been having trouble going to sleep though-but I can live with that and we will just get through it-as we have been there before when we first started.
The IEP meeting went VERY well-they kept pretty much everything the same-and I didnt not agree with anything....phew-my mind was thinking up some stuff I tell ya-its what its used to doing, putting on my warrior momma gear. I dont think I will ever get out of that mindset no matter how I try.....
The behavior plan is changed-from what I hated to something I actually agree with. I can actually put my son on the bus in the morning and KNOW now that he is safe and that they are now doing the right thing. Their plans before I did NOT agree with and now they are no longer possible. Stinger actually HELPED in this;) But we wont tell him that.LOLOLOL I guess they had been wanting to do some changes, but the district had been saying no-now they have to :) The main point now being Stinger is safe and I am not a wreck worrying abt it any longer.
Flamingo......LOLOLOLOL....Where do I start......LOLOLOL
She has an actual boyfriend LOLOLOL. Of course we had to find out as she asks Daddy abt everything-LOLOLOLOL. Seams that she has had him for quiet a good while, but finally asked Daddy's permission the other day;)LOLOLOLOL
They hold hands at circle time, he tells her nice things like "I like your tennis shoes"LOLOLOL, and has given her a kiss on the hand-LOLOLOLOL, sit together on the bus. She in turn helps him with his colors at school;) This is the boy whom she has been trying to help be good in class-seams it has worked all a little too good-LOLOLOL
But she is her happy self and cant stop smiling these days-what is that all abt?;)
Monkey boy is getting very independant ard here-and I hate to say it, but every time I hear "I can do it MOM!!!!" a little part of me cries. Its wonderful seeing him be so strong, so sure of himself, yet at the same time I hate this pulling away from me part-kwim? He hates it that I call him "my baby"when Im teasinghim adn snuggling him-but Ill do it until I cant get away with it-LOLOLOL He will always be my baby-like it or not-LOLOLOL. His favorite past time is taking a bath these days-a good thing-right? But each one of the kiddoes loves their bath time a little too much and I am constantly nagging them to get out! Stinger could be in there all day If I let him-LOLOLOL
He has also slightly stopped taking a we morning walk abt snitching peoples things. I just have to make sure hes got a full tummy before he goes to bed;)
The weather here has just been weird-it got up to 64 today-really bizarre and then shot down to 46 then continued to get colder and colder and colder, but no snow-we are usually right in a snowy mess right now-not this year. I think its confusing the bugs and they are starting to come out. I noticed a little bee/wasp the other day that wasnt doing too well on our fridge-of course it was wisked off by an excstatic Stinger who straight away took it to his room and has kept in in his microsope storage container......talking to it and trying to prolong its life in any way imagineable-LOLOLOL. He has been really missing his bee friends.
But who knows with the weather acting weird as it has been, Spring might be just ard the corner-so Stinger keeps hoping;)
Personally I cant wait either-I hate being cold-unless it brings snow to make up for it;)
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Essay: "Look Through The Windows of My World"
> This essay is kinda long-but I wanted to save it somewhere and I thought...OH!!! My BLOG! LOLOLOL -lucky you :)
By Pat Linkhorn
An open letter to educators from parents of children with special needs. This "open letter" is, of course, not representative of all parents of children with disabilities, but I've tried to make it a fair sampling of the views I've heard expressed from other parents. I know I won't live to see Utopia and my children probably won't either, but the laws that are being passed today providing inclusion of children with handicaps into public schools give educators the opportunity to make this a generation of better people. And that's one step closer!
You can't walk a mile in my shoes, but take a short journey with me and I can show you scenes from my life. You're the person responsible for my child's education - a superintendent, a principal, a teacher, a guidance counselor or a special education director. The object of this is not to make you feel sorry for me. It's to try to help you understand me and my child. If you can understand something about the places I've been, you may be able to understand where I'm coming from today.
This first window shows you a death. It's not a typical death. We didn't get flowers or have calling hours. It was a very private affair and not too many people even realized it at the time. This was the death of a dream. You see, I always thought I'd grow up, marry and have a couple of "normal" children. When this death occurred, and it doesn't matter whether it happened when my child was first born, or as he began to develop. My whole life changed. I hadn't planned to have a child who had to use a wheelchair, or who would never be able to hear or see, or who couldn't "pass" a standard I.Q. test. I was forced to change my whole outlook on the future. It may have taken a while to go through all the stages I had to go through to get to where I am today. There was grief. A lot of that. There was a lot of denial too. I had to get through those two stages before I could accept what had happened and accept my child and the limitations he would put on my dreams. I had to come up with a new dream.
This next window shows me after I've learned to accept my child for who he is. I've learned to take all the backward glances and tasteless remarks in stride. I've seen ignorance from some people I used to think were intelligent and I've met some really wonderful people who I never would have known, had my child been typical. had to learn how to make people understand that my child is a child first and handicapped second.
I've seen miracles too. I've seen the first step the doctors said would never happen and I've seen the light of recognition in my child's eyes when he finally grasped the "meaning of something". And I've seen sunsets you wouldn't believe once I had to really look at > them and explain them to my blind child. What may seem ordinary to you has taken on a whole new significance for me.
I've learned a whole new language too. It's called "medicalese". Doctors tend to speak in words you don't hear every day. At first, I thought I'd never be able to keep all the terms and "isms" straight, but I speak it fairly fluently now. I'm beginning to learn "teacherese" now. You use a lot of abbreviations and numbers, but I know I can learn your language too.
Even though I've accepted my child, this next window will show you my fears for my child's future. I realize it's going to take a lot more effort if my child is to lead a fulfilling life. Learning may be difficult for him and in some cases, impossible, but I've really been trying to make his life as normal as possible. I try to focus on the abilities he has and I try to make him feel worthwhile.
I realize there are some things that my child can't do yet and he may never be able to do some things. Sometimes, I tend to focus too much on what he can do and not what he can't do, but it helps me and my family. Some days I seem to be taking three steps backward for every one forward.
You may only see the bad things about my child. It may not seem fair to you to spend more time with him or do things differently for one child, when you have a class room full of children who learn things in standard ways. My child may disrupt your class. He may not seem to be learning much. I don't expect you to ignore other students for his sake. I don't want him forgotten in a back class room with all the other "different" kids either, although he may have to spend some time in a smaller class room with more individual attention. My goal is to make his life as normal as I possibly can, and being around regular kids helps. It will take some understanding on both our parts to work this out. Perhaps some of your brighter students could help my child in some areas. You'll be teaching them about responsibility and they'll learn acceptance. They'll view handicapped children as children first and handicapped second. They may learn to accept my child before you do.
As a parent, I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes every day. I realize teachers are only human too. I also remember the time when some of my teachers were up there with God, in my estimation. They had such an impact on my life! Your lives probably aren't as worry free or stress free as I used to think and my child may only add to a day that's too full and too underpaid. If you at least make the effort to try to treat my child as a person, I know how he will view you. Sit next to God for a while.
My attitude may not be the best you've seen lately. I may already have had some run ins with the "system" before I ever talk to you. I may come on too forcefully and seem too demanding. Maybe I've had to be to get services for my child. Maybe my sister-in-law has excluded my child and I from every family get together she's had since I've had a "disabled" child. Maybe my husband isn't supportive. Or maybe the professionals I've dealt with before have done everything they could to help me. Maybe I'll assume that you will too, and I won't remember all the hard lessons I've learned along the way. Or I may remember each one too vividly. I may be a combination of all these feelings. Whatever the case, I am just a normal person who wants the best for my child.
I probably already know that my son won't grow up to be the captain of the foot ball team and my daughter won't be a Home Coming queen, but that doesn't mean that I don't have dreams for them. I've just substituted other dreams for those I've lost. We all harbor some pretty unrealistic expectations for our children and I'm no different than any other parent.
If I seem to want too much from you, I don't mean to. I may have a lot on my mind. I may not have totally accepted the direction my life has taken; it sometimes takes years for a parent to get to that point of acceptance. That's really not too hard to understand when you realize that I lived with that dream for most of my life, whereas I've lived with my "reality" for a lot shorter period. I may even be feeling cheated because my life seems so different from yours. There may be a lot of resentment in me. Or I could just be tired of fighting the battle. It may be that you have a better education and you may feel more qualified to make decisions about how and what my child will learn.
In most cases, you are the expert. But if you feel I'm realistic and I've accepted my child's limitations, there will be instances when I will know what will work best. In that case, I am the expert. I've learned some things that you should be thankful you've never had to learn.
If you take all the things you've seen through my windows into consideration, you may understand me and my child better. If we work together, maybe we can do what I pray for each night. That is to give my child as many opportunities as possible to lead a normal life, in a world that isn't fair.
Pat Linkhorn is a professional advocate for families with children who have special needs. She is also an experienced parent and has two girls with special needs - autism and blindness due to prematurity.
By Pat Linkhorn
An open letter to educators from parents of children with special needs. This "open letter" is, of course, not representative of all parents of children with disabilities, but I've tried to make it a fair sampling of the views I've heard expressed from other parents. I know I won't live to see Utopia and my children probably won't either, but the laws that are being passed today providing inclusion of children with handicaps into public schools give educators the opportunity to make this a generation of better people. And that's one step closer!
You can't walk a mile in my shoes, but take a short journey with me and I can show you scenes from my life. You're the person responsible for my child's education - a superintendent, a principal, a teacher, a guidance counselor or a special education director. The object of this is not to make you feel sorry for me. It's to try to help you understand me and my child. If you can understand something about the places I've been, you may be able to understand where I'm coming from today.
This first window shows you a death. It's not a typical death. We didn't get flowers or have calling hours. It was a very private affair and not too many people even realized it at the time. This was the death of a dream. You see, I always thought I'd grow up, marry and have a couple of "normal" children. When this death occurred, and it doesn't matter whether it happened when my child was first born, or as he began to develop. My whole life changed. I hadn't planned to have a child who had to use a wheelchair, or who would never be able to hear or see, or who couldn't "pass" a standard I.Q. test. I was forced to change my whole outlook on the future. It may have taken a while to go through all the stages I had to go through to get to where I am today. There was grief. A lot of that. There was a lot of denial too. I had to get through those two stages before I could accept what had happened and accept my child and the limitations he would put on my dreams. I had to come up with a new dream.
This next window shows me after I've learned to accept my child for who he is. I've learned to take all the backward glances and tasteless remarks in stride. I've seen ignorance from some people I used to think were intelligent and I've met some really wonderful people who I never would have known, had my child been typical. had to learn how to make people understand that my child is a child first and handicapped second.
I've seen miracles too. I've seen the first step the doctors said would never happen and I've seen the light of recognition in my child's eyes when he finally grasped the "meaning of something". And I've seen sunsets you wouldn't believe once I had to really look at > them and explain them to my blind child. What may seem ordinary to you has taken on a whole new significance for me.
I've learned a whole new language too. It's called "medicalese". Doctors tend to speak in words you don't hear every day. At first, I thought I'd never be able to keep all the terms and "isms" straight, but I speak it fairly fluently now. I'm beginning to learn "teacherese" now. You use a lot of abbreviations and numbers, but I know I can learn your language too.
Even though I've accepted my child, this next window will show you my fears for my child's future. I realize it's going to take a lot more effort if my child is to lead a fulfilling life. Learning may be difficult for him and in some cases, impossible, but I've really been trying to make his life as normal as possible. I try to focus on the abilities he has and I try to make him feel worthwhile.
I realize there are some things that my child can't do yet and he may never be able to do some things. Sometimes, I tend to focus too much on what he can do and not what he can't do, but it helps me and my family. Some days I seem to be taking three steps backward for every one forward.
You may only see the bad things about my child. It may not seem fair to you to spend more time with him or do things differently for one child, when you have a class room full of children who learn things in standard ways. My child may disrupt your class. He may not seem to be learning much. I don't expect you to ignore other students for his sake. I don't want him forgotten in a back class room with all the other "different" kids either, although he may have to spend some time in a smaller class room with more individual attention. My goal is to make his life as normal as I possibly can, and being around regular kids helps. It will take some understanding on both our parts to work this out. Perhaps some of your brighter students could help my child in some areas. You'll be teaching them about responsibility and they'll learn acceptance. They'll view handicapped children as children first and handicapped second. They may learn to accept my child before you do.
As a parent, I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes every day. I realize teachers are only human too. I also remember the time when some of my teachers were up there with God, in my estimation. They had such an impact on my life! Your lives probably aren't as worry free or stress free as I used to think and my child may only add to a day that's too full and too underpaid. If you at least make the effort to try to treat my child as a person, I know how he will view you. Sit next to God for a while.
My attitude may not be the best you've seen lately. I may already have had some run ins with the "system" before I ever talk to you. I may come on too forcefully and seem too demanding. Maybe I've had to be to get services for my child. Maybe my sister-in-law has excluded my child and I from every family get together she's had since I've had a "disabled" child. Maybe my husband isn't supportive. Or maybe the professionals I've dealt with before have done everything they could to help me. Maybe I'll assume that you will too, and I won't remember all the hard lessons I've learned along the way. Or I may remember each one too vividly. I may be a combination of all these feelings. Whatever the case, I am just a normal person who wants the best for my child.
I probably already know that my son won't grow up to be the captain of the foot ball team and my daughter won't be a Home Coming queen, but that doesn't mean that I don't have dreams for them. I've just substituted other dreams for those I've lost. We all harbor some pretty unrealistic expectations for our children and I'm no different than any other parent.
If I seem to want too much from you, I don't mean to. I may have a lot on my mind. I may not have totally accepted the direction my life has taken; it sometimes takes years for a parent to get to that point of acceptance. That's really not too hard to understand when you realize that I lived with that dream for most of my life, whereas I've lived with my "reality" for a lot shorter period. I may even be feeling cheated because my life seems so different from yours. There may be a lot of resentment in me. Or I could just be tired of fighting the battle. It may be that you have a better education and you may feel more qualified to make decisions about how and what my child will learn.
In most cases, you are the expert. But if you feel I'm realistic and I've accepted my child's limitations, there will be instances when I will know what will work best. In that case, I am the expert. I've learned some things that you should be thankful you've never had to learn.
If you take all the things you've seen through my windows into consideration, you may understand me and my child better. If we work together, maybe we can do what I pray for each night. That is to give my child as many opportunities as possible to lead a normal life, in a world that isn't fair.
Pat Linkhorn is a professional advocate for families with children who have special needs. She is also an experienced parent and has two girls with special needs - autism and blindness due to prematurity.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
New Years House Cleaning
NEW YEAR'S HOUSE CLEANING
Last Week I threw out Worrying. It was getting old and in the way.
It kept me from being me; I couldn't do things God's way.
I threw out a book on MY PAST (didn't have time to read it anyway).
Replaced it with NEW GOALS, started reading it today.
I threw out hate and bad memories. (Remember how I treasured them so)?
Got me a NEW PHILOSOPHY too; threw out the old one from long ago.
Brought in some new books too, called I CAN, I WILL, and I MUST.
Threw out I MIGHT, I THINK and I OUGHT. Wow, you should've seen the dust!
I ran across an OLD FRIEND. Haven't seen him in a while.
I believe his name is GOD. Yes, I really like His style.
He helped me to do some cleaning and added some things Himself.
Like PRAYER, HOPE AND FAITH, Yes, I placed them right on the shelf.
I picked up this special thing and placed it at the front door.
I FOUND IT- its called PEACE. Nothing gets me down anymore.
Yes, I've got my house looking nice. Looks good around the place.
For things like Worry and Trouble there just isn't any space.
Its good to do a little house cleaning, get rid of the things on the shelf.
It sure makes things brighter; maybe you should TRY IT YOURSELF.
Okay guys, I am turning over a new leaf here-well trying-LOLOLOL
We will see how it goes eh?
Anyway this poem I found was a good picker-upper-eh?
Last Week I threw out Worrying. It was getting old and in the way.
It kept me from being me; I couldn't do things God's way.
I threw out a book on MY PAST (didn't have time to read it anyway).
Replaced it with NEW GOALS, started reading it today.
I threw out hate and bad memories. (Remember how I treasured them so)?
Got me a NEW PHILOSOPHY too; threw out the old one from long ago.
Brought in some new books too, called I CAN, I WILL, and I MUST.
Threw out I MIGHT, I THINK and I OUGHT. Wow, you should've seen the dust!
I ran across an OLD FRIEND. Haven't seen him in a while.
I believe his name is GOD. Yes, I really like His style.
He helped me to do some cleaning and added some things Himself.
Like PRAYER, HOPE AND FAITH, Yes, I placed them right on the shelf.
I picked up this special thing and placed it at the front door.
I FOUND IT- its called PEACE. Nothing gets me down anymore.
Yes, I've got my house looking nice. Looks good around the place.
For things like Worry and Trouble there just isn't any space.
Its good to do a little house cleaning, get rid of the things on the shelf.
It sure makes things brighter; maybe you should TRY IT YOURSELF.
Okay guys, I am turning over a new leaf here-well trying-LOLOLOL
We will see how it goes eh?
Anyway this poem I found was a good picker-upper-eh?
Friday, January 05, 2007
Okay Ill start with something nice here-Christmas!!!!:)
Hi Everyone,
I hope your Christmas and New Year were wonderful. Ours was :)
I think Santa dumped it all at our house-LOLOLOL
It was so much fun-watching the kids come up stairs, their faces all a glow with pure delight and wonder. I think thats my fav part of it all-LOLOLOL
Stinger was all into the bee things we and Papa and Nana managed to find-and they are all plasterd on his ceiling so he can have sweet dreams-LOLOL. Flamingo is playing with her petshop and barbies-they are going everywhere with her these days;)Monkey Boy is dragging ard his cars and trains. They are all so funny to watch and I get a kick out of seeing them ALL smiling ;)LOLOLOL .Pappa and Nana also came over and we had a nice dinner ham with them. It was great to see them and we all loved having them be able to come visit us. And were sorry to see them leave.
New Years is never really big at our house. I think dh and I just snuggled and watched movies till late, but it was nice.Happy New Years late Everyone!!!!
Well its been awhile since I have written-abt Stinger and how he is doing at his new school. Weve been getting threats from the bus people saying that hes going to be kicked off. The aide( some teenager) actually had the nerve to come up to the door and tell me that he broke her nail-UGH!I guess hes been standing up and undoing the bottom part of his seatbelt, calling the kids names etc. I called the school and they said it was rediculous and that he couldnt get kicked off. The laughed when I told them abt the broken nail-LOLOLOL. But we got threatend agn today and they said Monday was Stingers last chance. So I dont know what the deal is, but I thought thats why he was riding that bus-as they actually had aides who knew what they were doing.I guess not-so they are a problem right now. Im not condoning what Stinger does, but they need to have someone on there who is concerned abt more than breaking a nail...sheesh...
School is going okay-weve got good days which are absolutely perfect and then the others where you name it and its done. I cant figure that out at all. But Stinger is understanding how the system is working at least somewhat. I wasnt sure abt that-but hes got the idea abt what is going on a little I think. He comes home and says "One- no fun, Two-things to do..."LOLOLOL So hes understanding those two levels at least-LOLOLOL They are using the timeout room for not complying-which is quiet frequently, but its right there attached to the classroom-so I feel better abt it-somewhat. I dont think they are applying the IEP at all that we had at the other school-so I need to call a meeting abt that. I mean we as a team put those things in there for a reason-kwim? Rediculous-if ist not one thinsg its another-LOLOLOL
WE had our apt with the Mental Health and it looks like we wont be using them. So thats another blow. No one in the clinic except the psyc doc is preffered so everytime we go there to talk with anyone its 32$. The social worker wants to see Stinger every week at first-so Ive paid in abt 64$ in just the past two weeks. The social classes are every week as well-another 24$. The lady at the desk ran up everything with the home worker and it came to 330$ per month. So that wont be happening. Until at least we get the review done for Medicaid-and even then I dont know if we will get in. Its torked me off pretty bad the past couple of days. I call them today and ask if we can do once amonth or 2 times a month and its a no deal-what the heck???So I guess we are done with them-which is fine, just fine. Ill prob be switching to their pscy doc though as he is preffered and hes alot closer, but judging ho wsoooo concerned they are abt Stinger not ven letting us do what we can, I might just stay at Childrens-at least I KNOW hes competant-kwim?LOLOLOL And the case worker does go to the school anyway-so I dont exactly know why its nec for him to see Stinger privately....the whole thing is just a headache. So Im choosing, after stressing about it for a couple days,LOLOLOL:) Im choosing to just be done with it-LOLOLOL. And im waiting to see if we qualify for Medicaid.
Ahhhhh...so the sagga continues....LOLOLOL
...one dy at a time Tammy.......
I hope your Christmas and New Year were wonderful. Ours was :)
I think Santa dumped it all at our house-LOLOLOL
It was so much fun-watching the kids come up stairs, their faces all a glow with pure delight and wonder. I think thats my fav part of it all-LOLOLOL
Stinger was all into the bee things we and Papa and Nana managed to find-and they are all plasterd on his ceiling so he can have sweet dreams-LOLOL. Flamingo is playing with her petshop and barbies-they are going everywhere with her these days;)Monkey Boy is dragging ard his cars and trains. They are all so funny to watch and I get a kick out of seeing them ALL smiling ;)LOLOLOL .Pappa and Nana also came over and we had a nice dinner ham with them. It was great to see them and we all loved having them be able to come visit us. And were sorry to see them leave.
New Years is never really big at our house. I think dh and I just snuggled and watched movies till late, but it was nice.Happy New Years late Everyone!!!!
Well its been awhile since I have written-abt Stinger and how he is doing at his new school. Weve been getting threats from the bus people saying that hes going to be kicked off. The aide( some teenager) actually had the nerve to come up to the door and tell me that he broke her nail-UGH!I guess hes been standing up and undoing the bottom part of his seatbelt, calling the kids names etc. I called the school and they said it was rediculous and that he couldnt get kicked off. The laughed when I told them abt the broken nail-LOLOLOL. But we got threatend agn today and they said Monday was Stingers last chance. So I dont know what the deal is, but I thought thats why he was riding that bus-as they actually had aides who knew what they were doing.I guess not-so they are a problem right now. Im not condoning what Stinger does, but they need to have someone on there who is concerned abt more than breaking a nail...sheesh...
School is going okay-weve got good days which are absolutely perfect and then the others where you name it and its done. I cant figure that out at all. But Stinger is understanding how the system is working at least somewhat. I wasnt sure abt that-but hes got the idea abt what is going on a little I think. He comes home and says "One- no fun, Two-things to do..."LOLOLOL So hes understanding those two levels at least-LOLOLOL They are using the timeout room for not complying-which is quiet frequently, but its right there attached to the classroom-so I feel better abt it-somewhat. I dont think they are applying the IEP at all that we had at the other school-so I need to call a meeting abt that. I mean we as a team put those things in there for a reason-kwim? Rediculous-if ist not one thinsg its another-LOLOLOL
WE had our apt with the Mental Health and it looks like we wont be using them. So thats another blow. No one in the clinic except the psyc doc is preffered so everytime we go there to talk with anyone its 32$. The social worker wants to see Stinger every week at first-so Ive paid in abt 64$ in just the past two weeks. The social classes are every week as well-another 24$. The lady at the desk ran up everything with the home worker and it came to 330$ per month. So that wont be happening. Until at least we get the review done for Medicaid-and even then I dont know if we will get in. Its torked me off pretty bad the past couple of days. I call them today and ask if we can do once amonth or 2 times a month and its a no deal-what the heck???So I guess we are done with them-which is fine, just fine. Ill prob be switching to their pscy doc though as he is preffered and hes alot closer, but judging ho wsoooo concerned they are abt Stinger not ven letting us do what we can, I might just stay at Childrens-at least I KNOW hes competant-kwim?LOLOLOL And the case worker does go to the school anyway-so I dont exactly know why its nec for him to see Stinger privately....the whole thing is just a headache. So Im choosing, after stressing about it for a couple days,LOLOLOL:) Im choosing to just be done with it-LOLOLOL. And im waiting to see if we qualify for Medicaid.
Ahhhhh...so the sagga continues....LOLOLOL
...one dy at a time Tammy.......
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Twas the Night before the IEP...
Cute ditty for the holiday season that rings true for much (or most) of
us parents with exceptional children! Enjoy!!
========================================================================== Twas the night before Christmas and all through the schools
No students were present to break any rules
The budget was written and every dime spent
with no one quite sure where it all went
The school board was snuggled
all safe in their beds
While visions of budget increases danced in their heads
When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter
They leaped from their beds to see what was the matter
Away to the board room they went in a dash
to see who it was that threatened the cash
And there before them - who did appear?
With issues they thought finished this year
Once more before them plainly to see
Were parents of children they called "Special Needs"
We've done this before and we were quite clear
So once again tell us why you are here
One of them stepped forward and it soon was apparent
That this person before them was one informed parent.
The presentation was prepared with great thought and care
With federal law quotes that brought them great glares
With a voice loud and clear they were all called by name
These are not new laws and the meaning is plain
IDEA, ADA, LRE and 504
It is time to remind you just like before
We wish you good tidings great hope and good cheer
The time for inclusion is finally here
Why won't you listen to this our plight
To be included is not privilege but right
We want them included right from the start
To become part of the whole and not kept apart
We want them included and yes all means all
Don't make them feel different, don't make them feel small
For such a long time the seed has been planted
why do we still struggle for what to others is granted
"No not right now but we'll tell you when"
We've heard that same story again and again
So on this the holiest of nights
we say inclusion is not a privilege but a right
and on this issue we firmly do stand
the rights of our children we do now demand
As the meeting concluded ending the night
It was heard.........
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
AND TO ALL EQUAL RIGHTS
~ Author Unknown ~
us parents with exceptional children! Enjoy!!
========================================================================== Twas the night before Christmas and all through the schools
No students were present to break any rules
The budget was written and every dime spent
with no one quite sure where it all went
The school board was snuggled
all safe in their beds
While visions of budget increases danced in their heads
When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter
They leaped from their beds to see what was the matter
Away to the board room they went in a dash
to see who it was that threatened the cash
And there before them - who did appear?
With issues they thought finished this year
Once more before them plainly to see
Were parents of children they called "Special Needs"
We've done this before and we were quite clear
So once again tell us why you are here
One of them stepped forward and it soon was apparent
That this person before them was one informed parent.
The presentation was prepared with great thought and care
With federal law quotes that brought them great glares
With a voice loud and clear they were all called by name
These are not new laws and the meaning is plain
IDEA, ADA, LRE and 504
It is time to remind you just like before
We wish you good tidings great hope and good cheer
The time for inclusion is finally here
Why won't you listen to this our plight
To be included is not privilege but right
We want them included right from the start
To become part of the whole and not kept apart
We want them included and yes all means all
Don't make them feel different, don't make them feel small
For such a long time the seed has been planted
why do we still struggle for what to others is granted
"No not right now but we'll tell you when"
We've heard that same story again and again
So on this the holiest of nights
we say inclusion is not a privilege but a right
and on this issue we firmly do stand
the rights of our children we do now demand
As the meeting concluded ending the night
It was heard.........
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
AND TO ALL EQUAL RIGHTS
~ Author Unknown ~
Sigh of relief.....
Well today was the big day starting at the other school :)
Stinger was asking questions abt questions on our way down to the school-and they weren't abt school-LOLOL-he was nervous-I could tell;)
We get there and the teacher is right out front "Hey there bud!!" she says as if she has known Stinger all her life. :) Bailey smiles :) Mr X was there too-to make the transition easier. They hug-and Stinger hands him a gift and a card he hasmade. Stinger just had his eyes on a BIG OL" toblerone bar-so thats what he got -LOLOL:)Then all the paras came out and said hi to Stinger. Stinger kept fiddling with his collar-he does that when he is nervous;)But it was VERY nice of them to meet out there like that-very relaxed and nice.
Stinger is quiet and one of the paras asks if he is nervous-he shakes his head yes.
Then they tell him to say goodbye. Stinger says "bye Mom" without even looking at me. I ha to BEG for a hug and kiss and then away they went all in tow down the hallway-me looking on and just ...hopeing...hopeing for a turned head, a smile , a blowing kiss..I got no such thing :( Whaaaaaaaaaa-LOLOLOLOLOL.
Okay-I know this was a good thing guys-I know this...but gosh how I wanted ...something.....something to say Im unsure abt this Mom, tell me its okay, I need you to guide me and protect me.
Okay Ill stop before I start to sound REALLY silly-LOLOLOL, but it was HARD and thats how I felt!!! About as hard as that first day when Bailey was 2 1/2 and I was leaving him for the first time in that Early Intervention class.....hard picking up my feet, hard to look away.
Then as in now-not a batted eye was given. :(
What a trooper-Mommy wasnt as strong as Stinger was today.....
Stinger came home on the bus ALLL smiles and immediately pulled out his point sheet. Row of 5's all the way down(highest points you can get per time frame for behavior)
He loves it there-loves the toys at break time(they had a pirate ship), loves the teachers, everything he loves-LOLOL. The one thing he doesnt love is the lunches-"The food tastes different Mom, and I dont like it."LOLOLOL How it can be SOOO different is beyond me, but I guess it is????So we are going to have to deal with the change of cooking I guess, but I know he'll get used to it.
It was a HUGE success today-I couldnt believe he got a 5 on his Math chart-he has struggled all year in Math and thats when his worst behaviors come out. Not that he cant do it-he has shown us he can, but he just gets aggitated at math time. But he didnt today!!!!!We'll see and pray that this continues.
If the next couple of days turn out to be anything like today-we will have found a match-eh? A GOOD THING-yes?
Mr X asked Stinger to tell the teachers abt bees and away he went Mr X says-LOLOLOLOL
I had given them all a sheet of interests and dislikes etc on Friday....so they were in on the bees-LOLOLOL. And now I guess they are okay and in his circle of trusties. Another GOOD THING. :)
I think this school is growin on me already :)LOLOLOLOL
Mr X calls and is missing Stinger already and is coming to the house on Christmas Eve afternoon and dropping something off for Stinger. What a sweet guy-eh? Heart was always there-I think he just didnt know what else he could do with what all he had been trained in at that school-kwim? But he HAS grown attached to Stinger-I know Stinger will miss him too.
My Mom is always saying that people are put into your life for a reason, sent by the Lord to help......gues Mr T would fit that pretty well....He was a friend to me and Stinger when we both thought we didnt have any at that school....He'll be missed.
Truly my moms wisdom rings true.....as always :)
Stinger was asking questions abt questions on our way down to the school-and they weren't abt school-LOLOL-he was nervous-I could tell;)
We get there and the teacher is right out front "Hey there bud!!" she says as if she has known Stinger all her life. :) Bailey smiles :) Mr X was there too-to make the transition easier. They hug-and Stinger hands him a gift and a card he hasmade. Stinger just had his eyes on a BIG OL" toblerone bar-so thats what he got -LOLOL:)Then all the paras came out and said hi to Stinger. Stinger kept fiddling with his collar-he does that when he is nervous;)But it was VERY nice of them to meet out there like that-very relaxed and nice.
Stinger is quiet and one of the paras asks if he is nervous-he shakes his head yes.
Then they tell him to say goodbye. Stinger says "bye Mom" without even looking at me. I ha to BEG for a hug and kiss and then away they went all in tow down the hallway-me looking on and just ...hopeing...hopeing for a turned head, a smile , a blowing kiss..I got no such thing :( Whaaaaaaaaaa-LOLOLOLOLOL.
Okay-I know this was a good thing guys-I know this...but gosh how I wanted ...something.....something to say Im unsure abt this Mom, tell me its okay, I need you to guide me and protect me.
Okay Ill stop before I start to sound REALLY silly-LOLOLOL, but it was HARD and thats how I felt!!! About as hard as that first day when Bailey was 2 1/2 and I was leaving him for the first time in that Early Intervention class.....hard picking up my feet, hard to look away.
Then as in now-not a batted eye was given. :(
What a trooper-Mommy wasnt as strong as Stinger was today.....
Stinger came home on the bus ALLL smiles and immediately pulled out his point sheet. Row of 5's all the way down(highest points you can get per time frame for behavior)
He loves it there-loves the toys at break time(they had a pirate ship), loves the teachers, everything he loves-LOLOL. The one thing he doesnt love is the lunches-"The food tastes different Mom, and I dont like it."LOLOLOL How it can be SOOO different is beyond me, but I guess it is????So we are going to have to deal with the change of cooking I guess, but I know he'll get used to it.
It was a HUGE success today-I couldnt believe he got a 5 on his Math chart-he has struggled all year in Math and thats when his worst behaviors come out. Not that he cant do it-he has shown us he can, but he just gets aggitated at math time. But he didnt today!!!!!We'll see and pray that this continues.
If the next couple of days turn out to be anything like today-we will have found a match-eh? A GOOD THING-yes?
Mr X asked Stinger to tell the teachers abt bees and away he went Mr X says-LOLOLOLOL
I had given them all a sheet of interests and dislikes etc on Friday....so they were in on the bees-LOLOLOL. And now I guess they are okay and in his circle of trusties. Another GOOD THING. :)
I think this school is growin on me already :)LOLOLOLOL
Mr X calls and is missing Stinger already and is coming to the house on Christmas Eve afternoon and dropping something off for Stinger. What a sweet guy-eh? Heart was always there-I think he just didnt know what else he could do with what all he had been trained in at that school-kwim? But he HAS grown attached to Stinger-I know Stinger will miss him too.
My Mom is always saying that people are put into your life for a reason, sent by the Lord to help......gues Mr T would fit that pretty well....He was a friend to me and Stinger when we both thought we didnt have any at that school....He'll be missed.
Truly my moms wisdom rings true.....as always :)
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Im done...........
We have been dealing with a level system at the school this week. Trying to see if Stingers homeschool could do it-if they had the staff etc like at the other school.
Its been a misereable failure and Ive been called to come and get him everyday this week....sigh.....NOT WORKING! especially since they call now for anything they feel like it now...its rediculous....Stinger had an accident as well:( Which means they werent allowing him to go bathroom-have I NOT been over this with them????I am soooo done with this school. I abt cried when I heard abt the accident-they are just plain rude and mean....I cant even imagine how embarrased and hurt Stinger was during all of this..GRRR it makes me sooo mad. I get the tracker home and it said that Stinger asked and then had to wait an hour to comply to something. EVERYONE who cares to take the time to know Stinger knows that when he says he needs to go:HE NEEDS TO GO!!!!!I am sooo done with them....
Dh and I are meeting tomorrow with the behavior specialist and the teacher from the other school and just talking....Im scheduled to see the school on Friday.
When I went to pick up Stinger today the behavior specialist was there and they called me into the office. The behavior specialist touched me with something she said and the tears started to fall-Im soooo mad at myself......but o-well. Tears are falling way too easy these days:(
But she was nice and tried to console me. I dont know how she could see inside of me, but she wanted to make sure that I idnt think this was the end of the world and that it had nothing to do with parenting or anything I might think I had done to cause these behaviors. That Bailey just needed more guidance and structure that his homeschool cant provide. I couldnt have agreed more. That I wouldnt be up at the school like I am now, that I can come whenever I want though, that they have never in the 5 years she has been incharge, called anyone to pick up their child.There are NO suspensions. That she knows it has been hard on the family and that this wasnt MY fault, that I had done everything I could, that it wasnt that I had failed. How did she know I needed to hear that last part-LOLOLOLOL. How did she know?????
Inside I know this school has tried, but lately they seam to be throwing up their hands alot-which is frustrating as I have been pulling for Stinger so hard this week as I knew it would be the deciding factor with his placement. So they want to meet with dh tomorrow and will have someone there to watch Monkey boy.
He cant stay at his homeschool-its just not working so its this other placement or homeschooling.
Ive been praying ALOT and I have a peaceful, calm feeling about this other school. But I am a worrier by nature so to have these feelings has been not expected :)So I am okay slightly with it now. We still has some concerns-but hopefully we can all talk tomorrow and everyone will come to some agreement.....If he goes to this other school he would start going on Monday or I could keep him home until after Christmas break-which I think is a VERY bad idea. I much like it starting a week before break, then having the break and then going back to something he is already familiar with. I think thats the best plan.....but we will see how the meeting goes......
Im tired-Im gunna go watch some of my English shows-LOLOLOL They always make me laugh.....Im in need of a couple of those-eh?
Its been a misereable failure and Ive been called to come and get him everyday this week....sigh.....NOT WORKING! especially since they call now for anything they feel like it now...its rediculous....Stinger had an accident as well:( Which means they werent allowing him to go bathroom-have I NOT been over this with them????I am soooo done with this school. I abt cried when I heard abt the accident-they are just plain rude and mean....I cant even imagine how embarrased and hurt Stinger was during all of this..GRRR it makes me sooo mad. I get the tracker home and it said that Stinger asked and then had to wait an hour to comply to something. EVERYONE who cares to take the time to know Stinger knows that when he says he needs to go:HE NEEDS TO GO!!!!!I am sooo done with them....
Dh and I are meeting tomorrow with the behavior specialist and the teacher from the other school and just talking....Im scheduled to see the school on Friday.
When I went to pick up Stinger today the behavior specialist was there and they called me into the office. The behavior specialist touched me with something she said and the tears started to fall-Im soooo mad at myself......but o-well. Tears are falling way too easy these days:(
But she was nice and tried to console me. I dont know how she could see inside of me, but she wanted to make sure that I idnt think this was the end of the world and that it had nothing to do with parenting or anything I might think I had done to cause these behaviors. That Bailey just needed more guidance and structure that his homeschool cant provide. I couldnt have agreed more. That I wouldnt be up at the school like I am now, that I can come whenever I want though, that they have never in the 5 years she has been incharge, called anyone to pick up their child.There are NO suspensions. That she knows it has been hard on the family and that this wasnt MY fault, that I had done everything I could, that it wasnt that I had failed. How did she know I needed to hear that last part-LOLOLOLOL. How did she know?????
Inside I know this school has tried, but lately they seam to be throwing up their hands alot-which is frustrating as I have been pulling for Stinger so hard this week as I knew it would be the deciding factor with his placement. So they want to meet with dh tomorrow and will have someone there to watch Monkey boy.
He cant stay at his homeschool-its just not working so its this other placement or homeschooling.
Ive been praying ALOT and I have a peaceful, calm feeling about this other school. But I am a worrier by nature so to have these feelings has been not expected :)So I am okay slightly with it now. We still has some concerns-but hopefully we can all talk tomorrow and everyone will come to some agreement.....If he goes to this other school he would start going on Monday or I could keep him home until after Christmas break-which I think is a VERY bad idea. I much like it starting a week before break, then having the break and then going back to something he is already familiar with. I think thats the best plan.....but we will see how the meeting goes......
Im tired-Im gunna go watch some of my English shows-LOLOLOL They always make me laugh.....Im in need of a couple of those-eh?
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
"Yesterday...... All my troubles seamed so far away...."
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh I believed in Yesterday........
------Paul
........sigh
Well my meeting on Monday was good I guess. The time out room is now gone...Much to EVERYONES dismay....The time being kept after school is gone....much to everyone's woes me's....
They are to call me if it gets out of control, I'm to pick him up. Then they will call another meeting the next day.(what this does???-I guess I'm just not understanding things)
IF no incidents-then Mr X is to graph and chart behaviors and time owed instances...GR-8 plan-we all know what its going to say = THE PLAN STINKS. And then we will meet in 2 weeks.
Stinger is not a typical kid-he's not going to respond to typical punishments. And no one will listen to me on this so I don't know what to do......Goodness knows Dh and I have tried typical punishments to no avail....But "don't listen to the parents whatever you do as we know nothing deal"....
I did actually get some interesting info abt the other school placement:
1. Based on a level system:1-4
1 being very restricted-eating lunch and having recess in the room etc
4 being just going in the room for awards and tracker updates...
Based on the child's behaviors depends on how much responsibility and choices they will have in the reg classroom and how long they will be in there. The academics would not drop as the same things are required as they are now...As they have seen what he can do...Its an 8 child: 4 adult room.
The behavior specialist was quiet frank with me and I asked her what the probability was that he would come back to his homeschool. She said "he wouldn't"......She said that this was the goal, but once a child is put into such a restricted environment and has the supports there they need it is nearly impossible to go back to what was before without upsetting things and having the behaviors come back....She said a child could be doing VERY well, but the point being that there at the school should incidents occur they have the paras and staff that are trained so it can be supported and stopped etc whereas the homeschool doesn't etc. Its a k-5th grade program so he would then go to his homeschool middle school, but it has this same support program and he would be supported there he would just sort of transition into it.... I'm still kinda unsure of all the details, but it was explained to me much clearer at the meeting. Id have to see it in session and talk with the teachers before dh and I made any decisions.....So its something we both have been thinking about anyway....
After the meeting I sat down with her privately and I told her thet I feel taht the school is making me feel like I am asking them for too much-and she told me that she woudl be the judge of that...She got persoanl and almost cried adn todl me taht she understood what I was going though as sh ehas a grandchild and she knows how teh system works and she has tried everything and her grandson was mainstreamed then self contained and then placed in a treatment facility. She acknowlegded Stingers disability was life long and that she knew I was just trying to help my son. She is in charge of that other school program and its really good, but that she wasn't forcing or trying to make me think this was our only option at this point-she still wants to work with this school...
It was finally nice to be acknowlegded and agreed with by her-someone who actually understands what I am dealing with. I was fighting tears the whole time-fighting them...I just dont know what to do here.....but talking things over with her was nice.....
Could use some prayers out there. I just wish I knew for certian what is the best thing-what would be the best for Stinger and have him happy-kwim?
Yesterday he was running away agn, being VERY defiant.
Today I got a call from the principle that when the bell rang he ran away and missed the bus-so I was to come and get him. The principle was very upset when I got there. I get a call later on during the night that he is to be suspended until we all have a meeting-which is tomorrow. The principle said he didn't know what to do and that he was just going to let Stinger trash his office....( I know he was implying he wanted to use the timeout room)gee I am VERY glad I took the timeout room away-as I NOW know he sure isn't competent enough to use it correctly....
Stinger and I sat down and talked abt a lot of things. He told me that the Principle told him to sit in a chair for 1 min and Stinger said he had to go to the restroom and the principle told him to just pee in his pants then and he'd clean it up!!! I am VERY upset with this.......I saw how upset the Principle was so I think he probably did say this to him......That floors me!!!!
So I call dh and we start talking about how we think its a staff problem and how this other school is sounding better and better......
But on to better news good grief......
The Mental Health Dept is evaluating Stinger and they have SOOOO many services that Stinger could benefit from like social skill classes etc. Which I am soo thrilled abt. I thought these doors to services were closed as we couldn't qualify fro any Disability programs as our income etc. So I am just thrilled abt this and these will def help Stinger. He will be given a case manager who will support dif programs etc. THIS is what Stinger needs......I'm through with relying on the school for these things...So I'm glad I have other options....
I think im going to curl up tonight with a book-that always cheers me up some :)
Tomorrow..... tomorrow..... I love ya..... tomorrow...... your only a day away......LOLOLOL
Oh I believed in Yesterday........
------Paul
........sigh
Well my meeting on Monday was good I guess. The time out room is now gone...Much to EVERYONES dismay....The time being kept after school is gone....much to everyone's woes me's....
They are to call me if it gets out of control, I'm to pick him up. Then they will call another meeting the next day.(what this does???-I guess I'm just not understanding things)
IF no incidents-then Mr X is to graph and chart behaviors and time owed instances...GR-8 plan-we all know what its going to say = THE PLAN STINKS. And then we will meet in 2 weeks.
Stinger is not a typical kid-he's not going to respond to typical punishments. And no one will listen to me on this so I don't know what to do......Goodness knows Dh and I have tried typical punishments to no avail....But "don't listen to the parents whatever you do as we know nothing deal"....
I did actually get some interesting info abt the other school placement:
1. Based on a level system:1-4
1 being very restricted-eating lunch and having recess in the room etc
4 being just going in the room for awards and tracker updates...
Based on the child's behaviors depends on how much responsibility and choices they will have in the reg classroom and how long they will be in there. The academics would not drop as the same things are required as they are now...As they have seen what he can do...Its an 8 child: 4 adult room.
The behavior specialist was quiet frank with me and I asked her what the probability was that he would come back to his homeschool. She said "he wouldn't"......She said that this was the goal, but once a child is put into such a restricted environment and has the supports there they need it is nearly impossible to go back to what was before without upsetting things and having the behaviors come back....She said a child could be doing VERY well, but the point being that there at the school should incidents occur they have the paras and staff that are trained so it can be supported and stopped etc whereas the homeschool doesn't etc. Its a k-5th grade program so he would then go to his homeschool middle school, but it has this same support program and he would be supported there he would just sort of transition into it.... I'm still kinda unsure of all the details, but it was explained to me much clearer at the meeting. Id have to see it in session and talk with the teachers before dh and I made any decisions.....So its something we both have been thinking about anyway....
After the meeting I sat down with her privately and I told her thet I feel taht the school is making me feel like I am asking them for too much-and she told me that she woudl be the judge of that...She got persoanl and almost cried adn todl me taht she understood what I was going though as sh ehas a grandchild and she knows how teh system works and she has tried everything and her grandson was mainstreamed then self contained and then placed in a treatment facility. She acknowlegded Stingers disability was life long and that she knew I was just trying to help my son. She is in charge of that other school program and its really good, but that she wasn't forcing or trying to make me think this was our only option at this point-she still wants to work with this school...
It was finally nice to be acknowlegded and agreed with by her-someone who actually understands what I am dealing with. I was fighting tears the whole time-fighting them...I just dont know what to do here.....but talking things over with her was nice.....
Could use some prayers out there. I just wish I knew for certian what is the best thing-what would be the best for Stinger and have him happy-kwim?
Yesterday he was running away agn, being VERY defiant.
Today I got a call from the principle that when the bell rang he ran away and missed the bus-so I was to come and get him. The principle was very upset when I got there. I get a call later on during the night that he is to be suspended until we all have a meeting-which is tomorrow. The principle said he didn't know what to do and that he was just going to let Stinger trash his office....( I know he was implying he wanted to use the timeout room)gee I am VERY glad I took the timeout room away-as I NOW know he sure isn't competent enough to use it correctly....
Stinger and I sat down and talked abt a lot of things. He told me that the Principle told him to sit in a chair for 1 min and Stinger said he had to go to the restroom and the principle told him to just pee in his pants then and he'd clean it up!!! I am VERY upset with this.......I saw how upset the Principle was so I think he probably did say this to him......That floors me!!!!
So I call dh and we start talking about how we think its a staff problem and how this other school is sounding better and better......
But on to better news good grief......
The Mental Health Dept is evaluating Stinger and they have SOOOO many services that Stinger could benefit from like social skill classes etc. Which I am soo thrilled abt. I thought these doors to services were closed as we couldn't qualify fro any Disability programs as our income etc. So I am just thrilled abt this and these will def help Stinger. He will be given a case manager who will support dif programs etc. THIS is what Stinger needs......I'm through with relying on the school for these things...So I'm glad I have other options....
I think im going to curl up tonight with a book-that always cheers me up some :)
Tomorrow..... tomorrow..... I love ya..... tomorrow...... your only a day away......LOLOLOL
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Placement......
Okay here's my question:
1. Keep Stingers placement the same.(keep him mainstreamed in his regular class)
no friends
battling the school every year
academics improving every day
no understanding on the part of staff and students
behaviors just get worse and worse as the staff has no clue how to de-escalate Stinger
calls and reports from school ending in suspension-or threats
2. Change Stingers placement. (self contained classroom or smaller classroom)
understanding kids-COULD make friends
academics fall
behavior plans thought out and individualized
understanding staff and no punishment
not his homeschool
Stinger hates changes
no battling with the school
Stinger finally feeling understood and not treated unfairly
behavior under control in controlled environment
could he ever get out of there????
I don't know what to do here......both choices are just....... bad...sigh......
Am I just refusing to see that he just cant make it in this school...in a reg classroom????Am I thinking if I just put the supports there-just this one more support..... that he could????knowing that one more support isnt going to cut it...How long do I keep trying...How long do I keep fighting????How long does Stinger have to go through this????How long do I hold onto a dream and finally....... let it go.......
I think the whole problem here is me......:( The more I truly think abt it-THATS the problem :(
1. Keep Stingers placement the same.(keep him mainstreamed in his regular class)
no friends
battling the school every year
academics improving every day
no understanding on the part of staff and students
behaviors just get worse and worse as the staff has no clue how to de-escalate Stinger
calls and reports from school ending in suspension-or threats
2. Change Stingers placement. (self contained classroom or smaller classroom)
understanding kids-COULD make friends
academics fall
behavior plans thought out and individualized
understanding staff and no punishment
not his homeschool
Stinger hates changes
no battling with the school
Stinger finally feeling understood and not treated unfairly
behavior under control in controlled environment
could he ever get out of there????
I don't know what to do here......both choices are just....... bad...sigh......
Am I just refusing to see that he just cant make it in this school...in a reg classroom????Am I thinking if I just put the supports there-just this one more support..... that he could????knowing that one more support isnt going to cut it...How long do I keep trying...How long do I keep fighting????How long does Stinger have to go through this????How long do I hold onto a dream and finally....... let it go.......
I think the whole problem here is me......:( The more I truly think abt it-THATS the problem :(
Okay here goes......
I've been dreading writing about this but I might as well-who knows-it might just give me some answers....I need em....
I've got a meeting on Monday with the school, with the district behavior specialist, director(my fav lady)basically the whole team and then some......Ill explain how this came abt-as Im sure you all are just DYING to know....sigh.....
This is going to be long guys....
I get a call abt 1:30 on Monday from spec ed teacher(well call him Teacher X)"well Stinger has been having a hard day and I feel we REALLY need to keep him after to make up some minutes" He had 45 min to make up for something or another. I have repeatedly told the school I DONT like the time owed after school-time owed period as Stinger cant keep up with all the time and why he is doing it...sigh.....but I am put on the spot. Im thinking okay school gets out in a bit so Ill just go and get him in abt an hour. I was going to town anyway.....
So I get there and he has 30 min to still make up. Plus in that time he has had to go to the "room"-ill get to that bit latter. So Ive got Monkey boy there with me which isn't a prop but Im kinda perturbed as I thought his time would be up. I am sitting in that office for abt an hour. I see teacher X coming down the hall..... with no Stinger he is running away from Teacher X-which is leading to more min being owed. I go call Stinger who is hiding behind the coat racks-I go to him and Mr X-Stinger goes out the school doors, but comes back to me.
teacher X says that Stinger has 15 min still to make up. Wants to go back to the classroom and sit fro just 15 min-when he actually owes abt another hour.....Ridiculous. Stinger doesn't want to go.Tecaher X grabs him by the wrists and Stinger tells him to let go-doesn't. We get him in the classroom. Stinger still wont sit down in the chair. I have to leave to go get Flamingo at Scouts. WE go back to classroom and Bailey still isn't complying. Teacher X asks me to leave.. Stinger starts to go crazy crying and begging me not to leave. Flamingo goes crazy thinking Im leaving her brother and saying he needs us. After consi=oling Monkey boy who is crying now as well we go and sit in the car and wait fro him to call me abt a half hour latter .I get the call to come and get him. So I go in there and Stinger has on his coat, but has apparently in just that short time said something rude to the teacher and is Agnew supposed to sit. I go and wait in the car agn. I see Mr X and Stinger going back in the building and Im thinking to myself don't even be going to the "room" abt 20 min goes by I go to the doors to the school-of course they are locked-so I go back to the car and wait...... and then I get a phone call and they meet me at the car.
I was there at the school till abt 6: 30. Livid does not even begin to describe my thoughts at this point. We leave....
I come home. Im upset, Flamingo is still upset as well as Monkey boy. Stinger has no idea why.....
I immediately sit down to begin my process of writing a letter to the school Specifically stating that the time out "room" isn't to be used now and forever under no circumstances. That time owed is to be kept during school hours.
I go and talk to Stinger abt it-his fingers are raw, tells em abt climbing on the doorknob in the room, trying to get to the ceiling to get out of there falling down repeatedly..... Basically having an episode in the room feeling like it is a prison-anxiety and fear going through the roof in there...Im just getting more and more upset inside- Im fuming....I put everyone to bed now and then I head upstairs and cry.......
So next day I get "the phone call." they are just going to call me if there is a problem and have me come and get him.......SHEEEEESH.. How in the world is THAT solving ANYTHING....and that we are having a meeting on Monday....
I have written and talked to everyone I can think of. I get the
1. Go and pick him up-make this work
2. They are making it your problem since you wont do what they want-DONT get him
3. Make them officially suspend him so it counts as part of the 10 days-which by law they HAVE to do SOMETHING after 10 days change of placement-which then Im sure they will want to discuss.
4. Get a Lawyer.
So I dont know what to do.
1. They still haven't done testing to find out WHERE these behaviors are coming from
2. They are Punishing him not DISCIPLining
3. They escalate the behaviors by using the"room"
4. They escalate by touching him and grabbing him-even after he has said to let him go-and hes not bad abt asking either-I saw this the other day.....
So Im trying to pull my head together yet agn for this meeting as no one will talk abt anything-they just say" well discuss at the meeting. Fun-eh?
I have no idea how the meeting is going to go-I don't know what my position should be either.......
I've got a meeting on Monday with the school, with the district behavior specialist, director(my fav lady)basically the whole team and then some......Ill explain how this came abt-as Im sure you all are just DYING to know....sigh.....
This is going to be long guys....
I get a call abt 1:30 on Monday from spec ed teacher(well call him Teacher X)"well Stinger has been having a hard day and I feel we REALLY need to keep him after to make up some minutes" He had 45 min to make up for something or another. I have repeatedly told the school I DONT like the time owed after school-time owed period as Stinger cant keep up with all the time and why he is doing it...sigh.....but I am put on the spot. Im thinking okay school gets out in a bit so Ill just go and get him in abt an hour. I was going to town anyway.....
So I get there and he has 30 min to still make up. Plus in that time he has had to go to the "room"-ill get to that bit latter. So Ive got Monkey boy there with me which isn't a prop but Im kinda perturbed as I thought his time would be up. I am sitting in that office for abt an hour. I see teacher X coming down the hall..... with no Stinger he is running away from Teacher X-which is leading to more min being owed. I go call Stinger who is hiding behind the coat racks-I go to him and Mr X-Stinger goes out the school doors, but comes back to me.
teacher X says that Stinger has 15 min still to make up. Wants to go back to the classroom and sit fro just 15 min-when he actually owes abt another hour.....Ridiculous. Stinger doesn't want to go.Tecaher X grabs him by the wrists and Stinger tells him to let go-doesn't. We get him in the classroom. Stinger still wont sit down in the chair. I have to leave to go get Flamingo at Scouts. WE go back to classroom and Bailey still isn't complying. Teacher X asks me to leave.. Stinger starts to go crazy crying and begging me not to leave. Flamingo goes crazy thinking Im leaving her brother and saying he needs us. After consi=oling Monkey boy who is crying now as well we go and sit in the car and wait fro him to call me abt a half hour latter .I get the call to come and get him. So I go in there and Stinger has on his coat, but has apparently in just that short time said something rude to the teacher and is Agnew supposed to sit. I go and wait in the car agn. I see Mr X and Stinger going back in the building and Im thinking to myself don't even be going to the "room" abt 20 min goes by I go to the doors to the school-of course they are locked-so I go back to the car and wait...... and then I get a phone call and they meet me at the car.
I was there at the school till abt 6: 30. Livid does not even begin to describe my thoughts at this point. We leave....
I come home. Im upset, Flamingo is still upset as well as Monkey boy. Stinger has no idea why.....
I immediately sit down to begin my process of writing a letter to the school Specifically stating that the time out "room" isn't to be used now and forever under no circumstances. That time owed is to be kept during school hours.
I go and talk to Stinger abt it-his fingers are raw, tells em abt climbing on the doorknob in the room, trying to get to the ceiling to get out of there falling down repeatedly..... Basically having an episode in the room feeling like it is a prison-anxiety and fear going through the roof in there...Im just getting more and more upset inside- Im fuming....I put everyone to bed now and then I head upstairs and cry.......
So next day I get "the phone call." they are just going to call me if there is a problem and have me come and get him.......SHEEEEESH.. How in the world is THAT solving ANYTHING....and that we are having a meeting on Monday....
I have written and talked to everyone I can think of. I get the
1. Go and pick him up-make this work
2. They are making it your problem since you wont do what they want-DONT get him
3. Make them officially suspend him so it counts as part of the 10 days-which by law they HAVE to do SOMETHING after 10 days change of placement-which then Im sure they will want to discuss.
4. Get a Lawyer.
So I dont know what to do.
1. They still haven't done testing to find out WHERE these behaviors are coming from
2. They are Punishing him not DISCIPLining
3. They escalate the behaviors by using the"room"
4. They escalate by touching him and grabbing him-even after he has said to let him go-and hes not bad abt asking either-I saw this the other day.....
So Im trying to pull my head together yet agn for this meeting as no one will talk abt anything-they just say" well discuss at the meeting. Fun-eh?
I have no idea how the meeting is going to go-I don't know what my position should be either.......
Beautifil Song-PRAYER
Okay this song had me bawling tonight.....its by Celtic Women....beautiful......
PRAYER
Lift up our eyes
and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we dont know.....
Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe.
I pray we'll find your light
And hold it in our hearts.
When stars go out each night
Remind us where you are.
Let this be our prayer
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
We ask that life be kind
And watch us from above
We hope each soul will find
Another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Needs to find a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
Need to find a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
Beautiful...just beautiful....
PRAYER
Lift up our eyes
and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we dont know.....
Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe.
I pray we'll find your light
And hold it in our hearts.
When stars go out each night
Remind us where you are.
Let this be our prayer
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
We ask that life be kind
And watch us from above
We hope each soul will find
Another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Needs to find a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
Need to find a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
Beautiful...just beautiful....
Sunday, November 26, 2006
A Thankful Day
Well I hope everyone out there had a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday :)
I woke up earlier than the kids and dh as I was off to help with preparing the dinner at Granmaws & Granpaws. Most of the extended family weren't going to be there -so I had agreed to go in a bit earlier and help in any way I could. ;)Okay you all can stop laughing now-he-he;)But I really wanted to help as much as I could so I loaded up Flamingo and Monkey boy and away we went.
Papa and Nana were there and that breathtaking smell hit me as we all walked in. Nan had been up since dawn I imagine getting things ready, so I helped when ever they needed an extra hand. I know it was a lot of work for Nana and Granmaw-they did such a wonderful job and the turkey and everything was scrumshious :) It was wonderful to see Nana and Papa. We have all missed them so much since they have moved. I just wish we could have spent more time with them while they were here.
The kids were all decked out in their new outfits from Grami. They looked so cute. When Stinger came with dh I was so impressed with how he looked -so grown up. Grami usually buys them all matching outfits, but she said that Stinger has gotten older and it is harder to find matching outfits in his size now. So she had bought him some cargo pants and a blue/white checkered shirt with a green vest pullover sweater. MY...... He did look smart....So grown up...Sigh.......
Everyone was so well behaved and I couldn't have been more thankful to have such a wonderful family and be surrounded by so much love at that table. My eyes start to tear up just thinking how blessed I am.
I know at times on here I sound like such a drag. Complaining and worrying is what I have become very good at. But sitting around that table-I realized what is important-what has always been important and should be the most important thing in my life. The love and support of family. How blessed we each are. Papa said a very special prayer and it was beautiful. Mentioned everything we should be thankful for, yet often don't think twice abt. I know I for one, was bowing my head in shame at that moment-realizing how I have let worries and selfishness engross my heart all to often lately.
Thank you Papa for reminding us all how lucky and fortunate we all are and how our hearts should be so thankful of all of our blessings each and every day.
I'm going to list my blessings: Hey C-I'm tagging you to do the same;)(hey we both have no clue how this works-right) LOLOLOL So you count yours too and post them-eh? I know its going to help me see how truly blessed I am......
1. My love I have for the Lord and knowing I am His for always
2. The Word for which is my guide and beacon to live by
3. My hard working,loving,devoted husband
4. My children who are fashioned perfectly in the will of their Father
5. My Dad and Mom who give unselfishly always
6. My Grandparents who show me that love and devotion truly can last forever
7. My friends who give me strength to carry on when times are dark
8. My humble house which I call home
9. My health and that of my family and friends
10. My country whom many have fought and died for
There are MANY, Many, Many MANY blessings we each should be thankful for. I hope you each had a wonderful THANKSgiving Holiday. You are all in my hearts and prayers{{HUGS}}
One of my all time favorite hymn songs:
"When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost
Count you many blessings angels will attend
Help and comfort give you till your journeys end."
"Count your blessings name them one by one
Count your blessings see what God hath done.
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings see what God hath done."
T
I woke up earlier than the kids and dh as I was off to help with preparing the dinner at Granmaws & Granpaws. Most of the extended family weren't going to be there -so I had agreed to go in a bit earlier and help in any way I could. ;)Okay you all can stop laughing now-he-he;)But I really wanted to help as much as I could so I loaded up Flamingo and Monkey boy and away we went.
Papa and Nana were there and that breathtaking smell hit me as we all walked in. Nan had been up since dawn I imagine getting things ready, so I helped when ever they needed an extra hand. I know it was a lot of work for Nana and Granmaw-they did such a wonderful job and the turkey and everything was scrumshious :) It was wonderful to see Nana and Papa. We have all missed them so much since they have moved. I just wish we could have spent more time with them while they were here.
The kids were all decked out in their new outfits from Grami. They looked so cute. When Stinger came with dh I was so impressed with how he looked -so grown up. Grami usually buys them all matching outfits, but she said that Stinger has gotten older and it is harder to find matching outfits in his size now. So she had bought him some cargo pants and a blue/white checkered shirt with a green vest pullover sweater. MY...... He did look smart....So grown up...Sigh.......
Everyone was so well behaved and I couldn't have been more thankful to have such a wonderful family and be surrounded by so much love at that table. My eyes start to tear up just thinking how blessed I am.
I know at times on here I sound like such a drag. Complaining and worrying is what I have become very good at. But sitting around that table-I realized what is important-what has always been important and should be the most important thing in my life. The love and support of family. How blessed we each are. Papa said a very special prayer and it was beautiful. Mentioned everything we should be thankful for, yet often don't think twice abt. I know I for one, was bowing my head in shame at that moment-realizing how I have let worries and selfishness engross my heart all to often lately.
Thank you Papa for reminding us all how lucky and fortunate we all are and how our hearts should be so thankful of all of our blessings each and every day.
I'm going to list my blessings: Hey C-I'm tagging you to do the same;)(hey we both have no clue how this works-right) LOLOLOL So you count yours too and post them-eh? I know its going to help me see how truly blessed I am......
1. My love I have for the Lord and knowing I am His for always
2. The Word for which is my guide and beacon to live by
3. My hard working,loving,devoted husband
4. My children who are fashioned perfectly in the will of their Father
5. My Dad and Mom who give unselfishly always
6. My Grandparents who show me that love and devotion truly can last forever
7. My friends who give me strength to carry on when times are dark
8. My humble house which I call home
9. My health and that of my family and friends
10. My country whom many have fought and died for
There are MANY, Many, Many MANY blessings we each should be thankful for. I hope you each had a wonderful THANKSgiving Holiday. You are all in my hearts and prayers{{HUGS}}
One of my all time favorite hymn songs:
"When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost
Count you many blessings angels will attend
Help and comfort give you till your journeys end."
"Count your blessings name them one by one
Count your blessings see what God hath done.
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings see what God hath done."
T
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